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Jay-Z Is A Ghetto Humanitarian…

I remember when I wrote to y’all several months back about Dame Dash’s money woes and the millions in back taxes he owed New York State. Well guess who he made a call to get his ass out of a financial bind? And guess who took his phone call? Instead of shitting on Dash which would have been the thing to do, Jay-Z came through and gave his old buddy a helping handout.

Jay-Z must really be as rich as they say because I can’t see anyone but rich people being this altruistic and forgiving. Dash threw Jay under the bus and then sent his friend Cam’rom to harass Jigga while he was in retirement. Jay-Z must have billions of dollars to be willing to fuck with Dash after all of that. Maybe Jay realizes that Dash still has some ideas that can help him capitalize more profit from rap music. Why else would Jay even fuck with this loser? Some cake-a-holic Dame turned out to be. Right now Dash can’t even afford a Lil’ Debbie brownie.

So with Jay now becoming this inner city philanthropist I wonder what other charities he might consider other than Memphis Bleek and Dame Dash? Maybe Jay will start a school for former drug kingpins who want to rap? Other than just teaching the finer points of wordplay and fast rapping, the school’s curriculum might center around the things that Jay has done to become such an important civic leader of the Blacks. There’ll be classes regarding how to launder your money, and definitely one on how not to get caught by police. There needs to be one of these Jay-Z schools in every city in America. This might be the only chance to get young Black men back into a classroom.

When you’re a billionaire or a zillionaire or whatever Jay-Z’s bank account requires we call him you have a level of responsibility to support charities and non-profit organizations so that white baby Jesus will let you into heaven. Dame Dash is definitely a non-profit now. I don’t think he makes a dime on any of the cockamaimie schemes he has invested in. Pro-Keds? Them shits was washed up thirty years ago? Armandale vodka was pretty good, but niggas is only fucking with that Grey Goose and the Hen-rock. We all know what happened to the Ol’ Dirty project. Dame’s last great achievement was signing KanYe West, but even KanYe ain’t giving any scrilla to Dame.

Shit is fucked the fuck up to come down from the mountaintop. It’s pretty much the same story that we’ve seen from so many other entertainment figures. You forget to file your taxes for ten years and then all of a sudden you are bagging up groceries for other people at the Publix supermarket. I don’t think Dash will ever get to see that low point thanks to the financial aid that Jay gave to him. Let’s see what he does for Jay-Z in return.

Friends. How many of us have them?

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