I Blame Byron Crawford…

A few weeks ago Bol came to New York City to partake of the histrionically white Rock The Bells concert. The next thing you know a twister touches down in Brooklyn (sans Big Macs). WTF is that about? Don’t them shits only happen in the Midwest? There are a lot of new transplants in the city from the Midwest so maybe one of them brought that shit with them too. But there is no such thing as a coincidence when some pussy-whipped high school dropout kills his beautiful girlfriend after reading Bol’s drop on the godawful Sean Kingston song. He later supposedly tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists on the roof of a housing project before he was apprehended. I would say that was a pretty lame ass attempt since he could have just jumped the ten or so stories and landed on his head, but maybe this dude Michael Cordero was actually using his head instead?

If I was dude's lawyer, er, public defender, I would just publicly state that the use of synths and vocoders in the Hip-Hop song ‘Beautiful Girls’ intoxicated him into action because he thought his girlfriend was leaving him. Blaming rock lyrics for suicides is totally retro, but blaming Hip-Hop songs for inciting murder is taking shit back to the future. I’m not saying that he still won’t get served a grip of time, but when all the focus gets shifted onto the back of Hip-Hop dude might end up with a manslaughter sentence. I’m not a community college civil rights attorney like TPAR, or maybe a bootleg psychoanalyst like Dr. Flav so I can’t speak for the alleged perpetrator, but if I were him I would blame everything on that damn song.

Read about the case...

Boyfriend of Victim Slits Wrists, Police Say

Now listen to the song...

C’mon?!? How could you not blame this crime on that stupid song? If I’ve learned anything in the last several months about how rap music has become a pariah in American culture akin to Osama Bin Laden, it’s that money is being made by all the confusion. I think Sean Kingston’s label should press up a billion CD singles and sell them at Starbucks. Oprah will be pulling out her domestic violence programming, AND it’s summer sweeps week to boot. You know the lawyers are gonna get their chips up from this shit too. The merc’ked broads mom should be filing a lawsuit against Sean Kingston as you read this now. And all of this wild shit is going down just because Bol brought his Midwest country ass to New York City.

Dayum. Nullus to the fullest.