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Fifty Cent Is The Barry Bonds Of This Rap Shit…

So the proverbial cat is out the bag. As I write this to you I am about to play the leak, er, media advance to Fifty Cent’s latest and greatest album. KanYe has already come through with what might be the best rap album since Wu Tang Forever and that is no small feat since Wu Tang has like twenty emcees under their flag. Now I get to see what Fifty is dropping to answer the bell and step in the ring. This is pure rap music excitement.

I compare Fifty Cent to big leaguer Barry Bonds not because they both use the Cream and the Clear, but because they are similarly hated and admired in their respective professions. Everyone that has ever played baseball is jealous of the sweet stroke of Bonds [ll]. Forget all the accusations, and the fact that Barry is a grade A shitbag. There is no hitter in baseball more respected than Barry. If you make a mistake when you pitch to him the odds are that he will capitalize on you in a big way. Just like how Fifty uses any slight disadvantage to dominate someone that he is competing with. One false move and you will be sitting at the pool in the back with Cam’Ron and Ja Rule. Never to be heard from again.

From the gate Fifty is coming into the ring heavier than Kanye. The ‘Curtis’ album has 17 tracks listed. If some of these joints are skits or obvious filler that will hurt his overall score. Just like if he has too many songs with Yayo on them. I don’t want to hear any miscellaneous G-Unit cats on this disk. It needs to be Fifty all day on this piece. A Dre beat or two couldn’t hurt either. This is an event and you wear your best shit out to this party.

After listening to the first 13 songs…

Oh shit! I know some of y’all ain’t ready for this shit. Fifty uses a broken beat sample for the song ‘Peep Show’. That shit is gonna get crazy spins in the U.K., here in the States… Not so much. ‘All Of Me’ has Mary J on the chorus and this song is good money for the ladies. Might even be Dre on the boards too. That is vintage Fifty right there. The album opened up in classic Fifty grimy, greasy gun talk. Ha! I just wrote that shit and then Fifty said that exact shit on ‘187’. This nigga is crazy formulaic, but even when you know it’s coming he still gets a hit. Trying to stop this nigga is like trying to keep LaDanian Tomlinson from rushing for 100 yards. You can’t do it.

Let me listen to this shit in it’s entirety again before I render my verdict, but right now it looks too close to call. KanYe’s got the glorious production and the anthemic songs and Fifty’s got the street bounce boom bap classic in your face hardbody rap shit. Gotdamn, Universal’s stock is jumping sky high this quarter.

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