Fairweather tall Israelis

There was a time, a year or so ago, when I thought Russell Simmons was so badass. Not only was he arguably the hip-hop mogul least capable of demonstrating any sort of useful talent (remember, Diddy was once a good dancer), but he’d somehow managed to entrap Kimora Simmons into being married to him forever.

But then it occurred to me not too long ago that this might not be such a good thing. Blood Diamond Rush was on the Howard Stern Show, which I don’t listen to on a daily basis, promoting his silly new self-help book, and Howard, who’s got an astute team of fact-checkers, mentioned the fact that Russell and Kimora don’t have any sort of pre-nup.

What’s more, apparently, the two of them have this communal pool of money that they both draw from, but you get the idea that it’s Kimora, what with her diamond encrusted cell phones and solid gold toilets and what have you, who’s doing the lion’s share of the drawing. BDR, who’s deep into yoga these days (read still getting the coke out of his system from 1993) claims to not be into material things nearly as much.

Which is probably true, in a sense. On the one hand, I can’t imagine any guy – or even most women – being quite as into material things as Kimora Lee Simmons. You’ve all seen that episode of MTV Cribs. On the other hand, you’re not going to convince me that Blood Diamond Russell Simmons, the same guy who was once sent out on a PR tour by the De Beers family to discredit the film that carries his namesake, doesn’t care about money.

Do I look stupid? (Don’t answer that question.)

Hence, I couldn’t help but wonder what was really going on the other day when I read that ol’ BDR had somehow managed to get fired from his own company. You’ll recall that BDR hasn’t been the real owner of Phat Farm for a few years now, since he sold it to the Kellwood Company, but he’s continued to draw a salary, presumably as their Jay-Z-style black cosigner ever since. But not anymore. What gives?

The statement he released to the media was pretty vague, but it seemed to suggest that he needed time to work on his various other business ventures. Which would be a reasonable enough excuse, if he did anything other than lend his name and likeness to a gaggle of companies that are all really owned by a secret cabal of uber wealthy Jews. (No Mel Gibson.)

Think about it: obviously he wasn’t performing any duties as CEO of the company the whole time he was going on tour to promote his book, acting on the god-awful Run’s House, meeting with his fellow tIs to decide whether on not to ban the dreaded n-word from rap music, and so on and so forth.

I was flipping through one of these rap magazines the other day, and in addition to the 40-plus pages of ads for Roc-A-Wear, which is de riguer these days, there were a lot of ads for Phat Farm and its various sub-brands as well as this new clothing line BDR is starting, which looks just like Phat Farm, except it doesn’t say Phat Farm anywhere on it. Which, perhaps unintentionally, has the effect of making it look like the K-Mart version of the real Phat Farm.

Questions raised in my mind: Will Rush and his family still appear in ads for Phat Farm, which, as far as I can tell, has been their main function there in the past few years, and, if not, who will? Also, Rev. Run and his family won’t be able to keep their jobs as the fake CEOs of various Phat Farm sub-brands, will they? This could be an even worse blow for them than it is for Rush himself.

The worst part about – and I realize this is going to come off the wrong way – is that I though Rush was tight with the Jews like that. I mean, look at the way he whored himself out to them all this past winter. Clearly some phone calls could have been made or something. And come to think of it, you mean to tell me that he couldn’t find a lawyer to finally settle this thing between him and Kimora in his favor? What the fuck is going on here?

  • Around and Around

    Don’t really care, and Kimora is wierd looking, I prefer the ‘Kimora Shoulder Lock’ to that wide shoulder’d broad.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    I don’t care either.

    [Entirely indecipherable non sequitir]

  • BirdsFlySouth

    Blood diamond Russ doesn’t have gonads. Lost all respect for him when I found Kimora made him change his religion. You got it folk Russ is a Buddhist now. So it doesn’t suprise me that he didn’t have a pre-nup b/c he’s a pre-op.

  • Tyler

    BoL, are U high? Damn that was a whole page of nonesense bro without your usually quick witted jokes. What’s your take on the 50 against Kanye thing? Step it up cuz’
    SolutionsGlobalMedia.com aka SGM7.com
    Love it or Hate it, Tell a Friend.

  • these posts are racist

    BOL,

    You are the king of idecipherable non sequitirs. Your posts raises some valid points. Generally, the exploitation of blacks and black culture by those who simply want to profit as opposed to profit, help the community and have a genuine respect for the culture.

    I object to your broad stroke use of “jews” do x or “jews” do y. Keep it in context. For example, it is true that certain Rap Music Execs are Jewish and do bleep out lyrics that may be directly or indirectly disparaging to Jews. See, for example, Puff’s song “Bengimans” where the line says “stack chips like hebrews”…they end up bleeping it out. But yet they don’t bleep out comments towards Koreans, Arabs, homosexuals and obviously using the “n” word.

    But to reduce Jay-Z to being a “Fake CEO” for the purposes of having a “black Co-Signer” is baseless. One could argue that Run, Russ’ bro is a “fake exec” because of the nepotism that got him the position…but your accusation that Jay is a fake exec as are all black CEO’s/execs/presidents of anything having to do with hip hop is baselss.

    Companies could simply hire Jay and others to do advertisements…there’s your black co-sign.

    Finally, do you not find it logically inconsistent that you call Jay a “fake exec” yet blame him for the troubles of Def Jam. Fake, by definition does nothing.

  • Moe Real

    TPAR, you should know a thing or two about fakes, since you are a fake attorney, fake rapper and you fake giving little kids M&Ms (or was the M&Ms real, you pervert?).

    JAy-Z is basically a glorified A&R guy. He’s on a short leash for anything financial and is used only for PR.

  • these posts are racist

    Moe “Real”-

    You’re Real…a real dickrider. You stay on my dick homey.

    Anyone else notice Moe “Teabagged” Real stays commenting on anything I comment?

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >You are the king of idecipherable non sequitirs.

    And you’re the king of being with the terrorists.

    >I object to your broad stroke use of “jews” do x or “jews” do y.

    I used nothing of the sort.

    >but your accusation that Jay is a fake exec as are all black CEO’s/execs/presidents of anything having to do with hip hop is baselss.

    Again, I never said anything like that.

    >Companies could simply hire Jay and others to do advertisements…there’s your black co-sign.

    My point exactly.

    >Finally, do you not find it logically inconsistent that you call Jay a “fake exec” yet blame him for the troubles of Def Jam.

    Easy. If they had a real exec, they could make that much more money. Also, if Jay-Z wasn’t pretending to be president, he could spend that much more time working on his raps and hence his album would have sold that many more copies.

  • these posts are racist

    >>And you’re the king of being with the terrorists.

    And you’re the King of child molestors. (Yes, King of Pop).

    >>I used nothing of the sort.
    “a secret cabal of uber wealthy Jews”

    >>My point exactly.
    No it’s not.

    >>Easy. If they had a real exec, they could make that much more money.

    So, Jay, according to this paragraph is not a “fake exec”, but rather an incompetent “real” exec, per the rules of logic.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >And you’re the King of child molestors. (Yes, King of Pop).

    Here in America, we punish the crime, not the thought…

    >“a secret cabal of uber wealthy Jews”

    Ah ha, and that refers to one very specific group of Jews.

    >No it’s not.

    Yes it is.

    >So, Jay, according to this paragraph is not a “fake exec”, but rather an incompetent “real” exec, per the rules of logic.

    He’s whatever you want to call him, per your fascination with semantics, not to mention your distaste for freedom.

  • Redd

    “his album would have sold that many more copies” he sold over a mill…wtf r u talking about??? He was one of the few that went plat last year, how much was he supposed to sell assclown?

  • Around and Around

    Bol Says:

    August 31st, 2007 at 2:14 pm
    >You are the king of idecipherable non sequitirs.

    And you’re the king of being with the terrorists.
    ———
    Define ‘being with the tuuurrorists’? WTF does that mean? Does someone have to be in their physical presense?

    And it’s indecipherable non sequiturs, now go stradle that white man dick and keep telling people they’re with the terrorists.

    Bol, the king of being with the dick ridders.

  • smog

    wow this comment section is hot i dont know if i can get up in this but it is just a comment section
    jay was the excutive of this rap shit before any company gave him the title

  • Youngz

    Seing BOL go up against TPAR “head-to-head” (no homo) is like seing Shaq vs Nate Robinson.
    TPAR u lowlife- You Got ETHERED so bad, your opinions is just so ultra feminim, every day u find sumthin´ to bitch about.
    Relax and take the jok, brother, don´t eva challenge Bol cause u don´t got the intellect going up against him.
    ANd stop hanging out with terrorists, we gon fuck u up dawg!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Around and Around

    Bol Says:

    August 31st, 2007 at 2:37 pm
    >“a secret cabal of uber wealthy Jews”

    Ah ha, and that refers to one very specific group of Jews.
    ————-
    Everyone knows they’re all wealthy

  • these posts are racist

    >>Here in America, we punish the crime, not the thought…

    Which makes you with the childmolestors.

    >>Ah ha, and that refers to one very specific group of Jews.

    Semantics anyone?

    >Yes it is.

    No it’s not.

    >>He’s whatever you want to call him, per your fascination with semantics.

    I’m not playing semantics. When someone calls a leader or exec “fake” or “puppet” or “simply there to give a black co-sign”, it means they don’t “do anything”. They “pretend” as you put it, to be in the position they are put forth as.

    A “real” executive makes decisions. The only way Jay can be held responsible for Def Jam’s problems, is if he made decisions that led to the problems…thus making him a “real” exec, making “real”, albeit bad decisions. There’s a big difference, not merely semantical.

    >>not to mention your distaste for freedom.

    You learn well from the racist right wingers who attack a man’s patriotism when he criticizes the govt. and doesn’t blindly follow the Bush Administration. That’s a good sellout bitch.

  • The Spaniard

    >>I used nothing of the sort.
    “a secret cabal of uber wealthy Jews”

    That’s statement does not say all Jews are in the cabal or that all Jews are wealthy.

    Anyway…for my own sake i wish Jay-Z would concentrate on making music as I need entertainment coupled with the fact that I don’t give too much thought or have access to any money Jay-Z is, or isn’t, making.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >He was one of the few that went plat last year, how much was he supposed to sell assclown?

    1 million copies + x

    with x being the additional number of copies he would’ve sold had the album actually been any good.

  • LowEndofDaChi

    Theres a general lack of business acumen in the black community. I live on the southside of Chicago, and almost every “urban” clothing store in the Chicagoland area is owned by someone of Middle Eastern origin. You can tell that alot of them are not born in America, yet their understanding of the urban culture is so keen that they’re able to establish chains at multiple locations (JBee’s, Baba’s), often hiring black employees for “authenticity” purposes.

  • Around and Around

    LowEndofDaChi Says:

    August 31st, 2007 at 3:24 pm
    Theres a general lack of business acumen in the black community. I live on the southside of Chicago, and almost every “urban” clothing store in the Chicagoland area is owned by someone of Middle Eastern origin. You can tell that alot of them are not born in America, yet their understanding of the urban culture is so keen that they’re able to establish chains at multiple locations (JBee’s, Baba’s), often hiring black employees for “authenticity” purposes.
    ————–
    Can’t argue with that, but the question is what does the community do about it?

  • The Ether Referree

    TPar murked Bol “on his own shit” (c) Nas for the 4080th time

  • The Spaniard

    “1 million copies + x”
    Yep.

    “TPar murked Bol “on his own shit” (c) Nas for the 4080th time”
    Nope.

    “(JBee’s, Baba’s), often hiring black employees for “authenticity” purposes.”
    Yep

    ….and what the fuck is up with all those Baba’s popping up anyway? That joint is fucking terrible. Same shit as any other hole-in-the-wall joint. The slushes are garbage too!

  • LowEndofDaChi

    Absolutely nothing but continue to bathe in ignorance. Not to sound preachy, but we’d rather ride around shining, pop tags, make it rain, and murk n*gg*s instead of getting our collective priorities together. They’re tearing down the projects, gendrification coming to a hood near you…

    And Bol, you know damn well that you implied that Jay-Z’s presidency is indeed fake and a play by the big heads to stay plugged w/black consumers.

    Spare the rhetoric for the fools

  • SRBeats

    TIS AINT GOT NOTHIN 2 DO WITH THIS TOPIC, BUT AMMA TELL YOUZ THIS.
    ALTHOUGH AMMA BIG KANYE FAN—IVE JUST HEARED THE COMPLETE ALBUM–AMMA PREDOCT,TELL&PREACH TO ALL YOU OUT THERE..CURTIS IS THE EFFIN ALBUM OF THE YEAR…IVE JUST LISTENED TO THE COMPLETE ALBUM AND ITS EFFIN OF THE HOOK…ITS 16 TRACKS OF FIRE..ITS 4 THE STREETS,BACKPACKPACKERS ,CLUBS,INTERNETBOPPERS ETC.

    THIS IS , MARK MY WORDS, THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR….

    AMMA READY TO WAGER A KILO OF HOMEGROWN DUTCH WEED 4 EVERY MFCKER WHO GONNA PROOF ME WRONG..

    CERTIFIED…50 IZ GONNA KILL EM ALL

    AND I AM A KANYE FAN AT THAT… BUT THIS GUY-50- IS THE FCKIN KING OF NY, KING OF RAP–HIP HOP AINT DEAD IT LIVES ON THE SOUTH-SIDE….BIG UP TO PEEPS IN THE BRONX–DELIVEIES ARE COMIN FROM HOLLAND SOON..KEEP ON SMOKIN ND REMEMBER…

    50 RUNS NY…AMEN

  • Hokus

    …….Scene 1: Hokus walks in to see T-PAR and BOL trying to strangle each other with lengths of ethernet cable. He peruses the situation and deftly sneaks into their homes and defiles all their fresh vegetables, drinks their beer and steals their money. ” Ha ha! Bitches”, he says as he makes off with the cushions off BOL’s sofa. ” Y’all so busy fightin over useless bullshit, I win again!” Hokus leaves, casting one last glance back at the two behemoths of internet inconsequetialism as they continue to grapple for superiority of the Useless Internet Arguement Movement. “Now,” Says Hokus, “I’m off to Illseed’s to ruin his hair products and shit in his bird bath. Till next time bitches!!!

  • SRBeats

    THIS AINT GOT NOTHIN 2 DO WITH THIS TOPIC, BUT AMMA TELL YOUZ THIS.
    ALTHOUGH AMMA BIG KANYE FAN—IVE JUST HEARED THE COMPLETE ALBUM–AMMA PREDICT,TELL&PREACH TO ALL YOU OUT THERE…CURTIS IS THE EFFIN ALBUM OF THE YEAR…IVE JUST LISTENED TO THE COMPLETE ALBUM AND ITS EFFIN OF THE HOOK…ITS 16 TRACKS AND ALL ON FIRE..ITS 4 THE STREETS,BACKPACKPACKERS ,CLUBS,INTERNETBOPPERS ETC.

    THIS IS , MARK MY WORDS, THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR….

    AMMA READY TO WAGER A KILO OF HOMEGROWN DUTCH WEED 4 EVERY MFCKER WHO GONNA PROOF ME WRONG..

    CERTIFIED…50 IZ GONNA KILL EM ALL

    AND I AM A KANYE FAN AT THAT… BUT THIS GUY-50- IS THE FCKIN KING OF NY, KING OF RAP–HIP HOP AINT DEAD IT LIVES ON THE SOUTH-SIDE….BIG UP TO PEEPS IN THE BRONX–DELIVERIES ARE COMIN FROM HOLLAND SOON..KEEP ON SMOKIN AND REMEMBER…

    50 RUNS NY…AMEN

    CHECK OUT ” ALL OF ME” WITH MJ BLIGE..ITS THE TRACK OF THE EFFIN YEAR

    CHECK OUT ” PEEP SHOW” ITS THE FCKIN BEAT OF THE YEAR AND 50TY AND SHADY@GMAIL.COM@ ARE KILLIN IT CRAZY…

    MY BOYS&ME ARE ROTATING CURTIS LIKE CRAZY…

    LIKE TONY SOPRANOS SAID TO CHRISSY…NOW YOU DONT NEED TO LOVE ME, BUT YOU WILL RESPECT ME..50TY IS SAYING THIS SAME LINE TO THE RAP GAME…

    JESUS WALKS, BUT CURTIS TALKS…

    AMEN AND GREETZ FROM HOLLAND

  • CHICAGO PaPii

    “Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers Don’t” we gon see for a certainty if Fishy Scent is as Important to Hip-Hop Music as he sees himself to be. Sept 11!!!!!!

  • Lethal Poetry

    TPAR, you are the most aggrivating person ive ever encountered, and i aint never even done that much

  • kevin

    lol @ BDR funny but so so true…

    i think you earned some type of NAACP award for this post

  • geico lizard

    everything you said was true and russell should have been looking to help get the word out about he jena 6 instead of teaming up with al sharpton to get michael vick fired from all his endorsements. kimora lee is the greediest person on earth and she looks bad now

  • LOWENDOFDACHI

    #
    The Spaniard Says:

    August 31st, 2007 at 3:51 pm

    “1 million copies + x”
    Yep.

    “TPar murked Bol “on his own shit” (c) Nas for the 4080th time”
    Nope.

    “(JBee’s, Baba’s), often hiring black employees for “authenticity” purposes.”
    Yep

    ….and what the fuck is up with all those Baba’s popping up anyway? That joint is fucking terrible. Same shit as any other hole-in-the-wall joint. The slushes are garbage too!
    ————————————–

    Man what Baba’s you go to? You gotta fuck with the one’s on 22nd and Michigan and the one on 51st and Indiana. Their gyro cheeseburgers are fiyaaaaa! Oh, and of course the original Baba’s in the 100′s

  • http://dahshyt.blogspot.com Belize

    Good read

  • Kenny Chesney

    NEW KENNY CHESNEY ALBUM OUT SEPTEMBER 11TH ENTITLED “JUST WHO I AM: POETS & PIRATES”. THIS IS FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY MUSIC THAT IS SURE TO GET SOME PANTIES DROPPIN’!

  • Manka Cat

    What up T.P.A.R.

    Love to see you argue with some wit and intelligence (BoL was surprisingly thoughtful with his responses to your responses too).
    Why the fuck are you getting called a terrorist lover? Your response to that particular comment was on point, I just feel like I missed something.
    ________________________________________
    You learn well from the racist right wingers who attack a man’s patriotism when he criticizes the govt. and doesn’t blindly follow the Bush Administration. That’s a good sellout bitch.
    ________________________________________
    Fucking awesome. Much respect.

  • these posts are racist

    Manka Cat,

    What up. There was a few times where BOL links anyone Muslim to terrorism, see his posts on Lupe Fiasco.

    I called him a bigot, and explained why he was a bigot and he responded with the Bush tactics seen above.

    Peace.