The time I met C Rayz Walz

So yeah, I spent the weekend overdoing it at the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago. I just pulled in off the road at 4:00 this morning, and I’m still tired as shit, so you’ll have to bear with me.

If you want to read about about the festival itself, including performances by the GZA, the Clipse, De La Soul, and a buncha indie rock groups no one ever heard of (and for good reason, in some case), feel free to check out the updates on my own site. I hadn’t planned on doing too much on Pitchfork here, but you know how it is. Sometimes you meet people out and you tell them you’re going to do a story on them for XXL, and then you don’t want to feel like a douche by turning around and not doing it. Which is actually what I do more often than not.

The first day of the festival, Friday evening, was part of this concert series called Don’t Look Back, in which groups perform their classic albums in their entirety. The headliner was Sonic Youth doing Daydream Nation (I know – who gives a shit?), but the opener was the GZA doing Liquid Swords – my favorite of the Wu solo albums. I had never seen the GZA play live before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he put on a pretty killer performance.

Here’s a video I took of him and Killah Priest doing “4th Chamber.”

The day before, I had received an email from one of this site’s readers, a kid named AB, inviting me to the after party, featuring a performance by Cappadonna. The Don’t Look Back thing ended kinda early anyway, and I didn’t have shit else to do, so I figured what the fuck. The party was at this place called the Funky Buddha Lounge, which was about halfway in between the festival and the place where I was staying. If you’re from the Chi, then perhaps you’re familiar with it. It’s a tiny hole in the wall joint that caters to a fairly, shall we say, diverse hip-hop crowd.

When I walked in, I met up with AB and a team of the whitest chicks evar that he apparently travels around with. I wasn’t complaining or anything; I’m just saying. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that there seemed to be just as many rappers there as there were fans. Holy crap! The GZA, who’s kinda old, was there for a while sitting in a dark booth in a corner. Elsewhere, you could find the likes of Killah Priest, Dreddy Krueger, Bronze Nazareth, the Wisemen, this kid named M Eighty, and probably a bunch of other people.

There wasn’t a VIP section per se, but there was a couple of couches behind a velvet rope where there were some other presumably important people hanging out. AB, who was showing me around, asked me if I wanted to meet C Rayz Walz. Which is a weird question, if you think about it. I can’t claim to have ever sat around and thought to myself, “Self, you know who I’d like to meet? C Rayz Walz!” But at the same time, he is C Rayz Walz. At the very least, he might be able to teach me to rap like he did that kid Nile the Blizzard on MTV.

So I went over to meet C Rayz Walz. He was posted up on this couch, and on a coffee table in front of the couch were several different bottles of alcohol, including one of those ice buckets with a bottle of Moet in it, some bottles of shit that may have have been wine or sangria or some such, and a bottle of what was probably Hennessey. I thought about checking the bottle of Moet to see if it was the real deal, or if it was that White Star shit that will only run you about $40 a bottle, but I figured a) it wasn’t my bottle of champagne to be fucking with, and b) this is, after all, C Rayz Walz we’re talking about. I’m sure it was the most expensive Moet possible.

As if it wasn’t already obvious, it didn’t take me too long to realize that C Rayz was motherfucking lit! He went to give me one of those ghetto handshakes that black guys and ironic white kids like to share with one another, and I think we both kinda botched it. At least he had an excuse. The thing is, I think he was under the impression that it was his fault because he had been sitting there for a couple of hours trying to set a new world record in drinking, and of course I’m too much of an asshole to suggest otherwise.

Another weird exchange: I told him I was a big fan of his work, which I am, kinda, and then he asked me which albums of his I had, and I had to think about it for a bit. Here’s the thing: I’ve heard a couple of C Rayz Walz albums, and one of them I actually ran out and copped (using money) back when it came out. Granted I was buying all sorts of shit just because it was put out by Def Jux back then, but still. If I’m gonna spend upwards of $15 on something that’s supposed to be free anyway, I want credit for it, god damnit. Fortunately (for me), it turns out that Year of the Beast, which I reviewed on my own site when it came out a couple of years ago is still his last album.

Of course the other thing he’s done which I’m a big fan of is the episode of MTV’s MADE where he teaches the geeky son of the Jew who wrote the disco song “Funkytown” how to rap. When I mentioned this, he made it a point to note that he’s done a couple of follow-up episodes which will be airing on MTV as part of a MADE marathon on July 22nd, which I believe is a Sunday. He was really adamant that I note that these new episodes will be airing July 22nd, so I’ll go ahead and repeat it. From what I understand, him and Nile the Blizzard did a big performance in Times Square, which will be featured in one of the new episodes.

And that was pretty much it for my exchange with C Rayz Walz. The show was about to begin, he was too lit to carry on much of a conversation, and there were a few really, really smoking white chicks who were clamoring to get next to him, and I didn’t want to be accused of cock blocking or anything.

This morning I got an email from AB saying C Rayz left some CDs of his new shit to send me, and that he’s also interested in doing an interview. Apparently, he’s got lots of interesting stories to tell, including, and I quote: “His stories about freestyle battling a pre-crack DMX, almost robbing Biggie back in 94, getting BJs from Heather Hunter and how a coke-addicted El-P still owes him $200K.” I don’t know about the rest of you ‘bags, but if it’s cool with this site’s management, I think we should see about getting him his own guest blog here. Screw Joe Budden. Nullus.

  • scrudmapper

    FIRST YOU HOES

  • http://myspace.com/billybangmyshit billybangmyshit

    who is C ray walz?????????????????????????????????????????

  • a_loco

    what the fuck is wrong with YN? can you tell to shut up?

  • aaron

    First!

  • http://myspace.com/hotboxbeats SCARTOWN

    That would be a good interview.I wouldn’t mind hearing about him almost robbing the GOAT,that would be a funny ass story. P.S. Never heard C Rayz Walz before(but it is one of the worst names ever) is he any good?

  • moore

    i must be the ig’nant motherfucker here…but who the hell is c rayz walz?

  • these posts are racist

    BOL-

    You were in the Chi this weekend? You should have said something, we could have met up and chatted in person. You never know I could have made you view Muslims differently.
    I live near the Funky Buddah playboy.

    Hope you enjoyed yourself in the city.

  • mrfresh2def

    yea word homo

  • DocZeus

    well said!

  • VArep

    Damn C-rayz has been one of my favorite MCs for going on 6 years now. He actually has dropped 2 CDs since year of the beast; the first was the Dropping which came out 4th quarter 2006, and he just dropped a follow up called Chorus Rhyme a few weeks ago.(Both are on some label called Urchin Records) I’d definitely like to see a C-Rayz guest blog on XXL. Interesting post.

  • http://www.myspace.com/travelrecords jamie

    i saw c rayz walz in athens, opening up for aesop rock, and he was wack.

  • HNIC

    “His stories about freestyle battling a pre-crack DMX, almost robbing Biggie back in 94, getting BJs from Heather Hunter and how a coke-addicted El-P still owes him $200K.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    I’d be interested in hearing/reading about all of those stories. It sounds like some rather profound shit.

  • smog

    yeah man, you gotta do that interview, last time i went to the funky budda i got drunk on coniac which for some reason was free and for some reason everyone was mixing with other shit and i was like let me get that shit neat, and they gave it to me in a snifter, i felt like the p-i-m-p i really be

  • 1,21,2…anditdon’tstop81

    i give a shit about this why?

  • Were Read 2 Def

    Ruh Roh.

    Bol coulda had a run in wit TPAR.

  • ILL WILLZ

    he must be really old that c wal if we don’t know him

  • youngz

    “I didn’t want to be accused of cock blocking or anything” LOL

  • youngz

    Bol! what´s the adress to your site?

  • slim

    good shit nol

  • http://myspace.com/DJShad DJSHAD

    Twenty-second!!!!!!!

  • Fernando

    TPAR,

    Nobody wants to hear you whine about Muslims and poor black folk. Especially fat man Bol. He has too much (food) on his mind.

    BJ from Heather Hunter eh? Never knew C-Ray had that much pull. As far as rap stars go, he is pretty far down the list.

  • these posts are racist

    Fern-

    For someone who keeps talking about how much they hate what I have to say, etc. You sure stay on my dick. Stop sweating a brotha. You comment on my comments more than anyone else…interesting.

  • dronkmunk

    I went to the same High School as Nile. That shit came out looong after I graduated though. I used to ride the bus with that girl he was trying to bone in the episode.

  • BYGGZ

    WHO THA FUK IS THIS C RAYZ WALZ NIGGA??

  • J NERD

    :

    July 16th, 2007 at 11:36 am
    landLORD Says:

    July 16th, 2007 at 11:35 am
    Rey admits

    I don’t have nearly enough estrogen to choose John Mayer.

    ————————————

    … AYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! …

    …so just how much estrogen do you have ? …

    ^^^^

    Just enough to fornicate with men.

    ^^^^^BOL ,ya boy(gay ass Rey) implicating himself

  • J NERD

    :

    July 16th, 2007 at 11:36 am
    landLORD Says:

    July 16th, 2007 at 11:35 am
    Rey admits

    I don’t have nearly enough estrogen to choose John Mayer.

    ————————————

    … AYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! …

    …so just how much estrogen do you have ? …

    ^^^^

    Just enough to fornicate with men.

    ^^^^^BOL ,ya boy(gay ass Rey) implicating himself

  • AB

    A special thanks to M-Eighty who planned the entire after party and put on an incredible show with Son One. Be sure to check out Eighty’s new disc: “Hymn, Psalms & Street Songs” out now.

  • reddillionaire

    C ray wallz?

  • Ghostwriter

    Bol get on YN ta hook tha man up with his own blog..You know we all wanna hear that shit….and if you dont know who he is then your a internet nerd and dont read the actual XXL mag…yall get a life and stop listenin too that Hip Hop Pop….

    Ez

  • yaboy

    1. SMH at the “hip hop heads” that come to this site and don’t know C rayz walz…

    2. Bol, this shit was laughs, do an interview.

    3. Can you pass YN the memo to shut the fuck up?

  • J.R.O.

    “His stories about freestyle battling a pre-crack DMX, almost robbing Biggie back in 94, getting BJs from Heather Hunter and how a coke-addicted El-P still owes him $200K”
    ^^^^^^^^
    Yeah, y’all should. Good post, Bol.

  • FELIX

    See this is why I think homie may be a decent writer, but still has some issues that even the most pro black brotha can’t figure out. Whats this “He went to give me one of those ghetto handshakes that black guys and ironic white kids like to share with one another, and I think we both kinda botched it.” Why because he’s a brotha his handshake has to be ghetto.

  • Freshman_Woes

    EL-P don’t owe him any money…get outta here with that.

  • Three4

    C-Rayz Walz is dope…google him if u don´t know who he is. He has worked with MF Doom, Wordsworth and more…

  • Cuban Link

    Bol, this could be your gulliest post.Ever.

  • these posts are racist

    spam my email as much as possible….its j@yahoo.com…thank you

  • thatwhitedude

    great post bol, def agree with givin c rayz his own guest blog on here, and YN NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! just cuz its almost xxl’s anniversary doesn’t mean he has to post pointless shit all day long, we all know after the anniversary is over he will disappear again…

  • Cuban Link

    fuck cats not knowing C Ray btw too.And fuck anyone not knowing Dreddy Krueger too, he aint the best at spitting, but damn can he get a tape together.I mean he gets the most OG collabos ever, hes who DJ(?) Khaled wants to be like when he grows up.

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    walz is a sick mc, but year of the beast was a bit underwhelming. i too copped it when i ran out and bought everything def jux put out thanks to the cold vein. sounds interesting bol. good to see something written by you not drenched in haterade.

  • The Hebrew Pope

    Some kid named “M-Eighty”…

    M-Eighty A&R’d Wu-Tang Meets the Indie Culture, Bronze Nazareth’s “The Great Migration”, and the new Wisemen joint.
    Plus that dude is an attorney who also spits…sounds like some fuckin’ kid too me.

    what up M…if you ever check this shit know that Chi-town’s got mad love for you homie.

  • k0nfidence

    get down on that c rayz walz interview (nullus just in case) and give him a damn guest blog stat

  • Ryan

    #
    billybangmyshit Says:

    July 16th, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    who is C ray walz?????????????????????????????????????????

    ^^^^
    Bitch he’s C Rayz Walz whodafuckareyou?

    I’m pulling for this interview/guest blog spot.

  • jiggaman

    Just so everyone knows, one time me and AB got really drunk and beat a plastic Santa to death in our front yard. When the cops got there, we blamed it on some Jewish guys who lived next door. GUTTTER!!!

  • derfla the hus’la

    daim bol and there was your chance to get laid by white hoochies and you aint done nothing. fat gay ass

  • pileofshirt69

    Bol, this is it. I feel this post was the Prologue to what will become your masterpiece. Color me excited.

  • THESE POSTS ARE RASCIST

    My friends call me the cocktaker…my boyfriend has no problem eith that…

  • http://LOLLOL.COM LOL

    I TOLD Y’ALL DEF JUX IS WACK..

    AND STOP GOIN TO HIPSTER FESTIVALS HOMO

  • http://www.xxlmag.com The Chancellor

    yo it’s the chancellor,
    making the blizzard look like a blur
    and i want to eat c rayz wallz’ fur burger
    i don’t think eating meat is murder
    yes homo that’s for sure

  • Ryan

    LOL, I’d really like to know what you actually listen to. You offer no suggestions on what to listen to other than the hip hop that you hate on. So let me know who really matters so I can ditch everything I like and just jock your playlist all day long. By the way BOL, how was Sonic Youth?

  • Bol’s Mother

    Bol, how the hell did you get a job writing for XXL? Elliot must have been smokin crack that day.

    First of all you are a horrible writer. Second of all you should do a little research before you publish shit that isn’t correct (anyone with half of a brain knows this). Obviously you haven’t in the case of this article. Walz has had 2 albums since Year of the Beast.

    And what’s with all the racial OVERtones in your article. Sounds like you have some issues you need to work out.

    Lastly, you couldn’t ‘cockblock’ Walz if you wanted to with your dorky ass grill. You obviously don’t even have enough charisma to make up for your lack of looks.

    Just curious… how far did you have to stick your head up Elliot and Bonsu’s asses to get your job? Do they even pay you?? Waste of $ if they do…

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    nigga you NEED TO GET THAT INTERVIEW! C Rayz is on some wild shit, not even talking about his music. From the different stories I’ve read (this one included), dude has a crazy personality. DO IT!

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >By the way BOL, how was Sonic Youth?

    Sonic Youth was the shit, of course.

  • Ryan

    >By the way BOL, how was Sonic Youth?

    Sonic Youth was the shit, of course.

    Yeah, I’m not surprised, I haven’t seen them in a while. My last Sonic Youth expeience was Thurston Moore, Mastadon, and Lightning Bolt at some college (Strange lineup, but it was awesome).

  • Bangs

    Don’t sleep on “some kid named M-Eighty.” The dude’s got a serious album that just dropped and is making some big moves.

  • iladelpha

    Cool story…not

  • http://www.myspace.com/joban626 J.O.B.A.N.

    why did you call m eighty a kid….and who cares if the giza is old….when did your stupid ass start listening to hip hop anyway 99? 00? get the fuck out a here! the only ones who should be writing about hip hop are the ones who rhyme….

  • Ras

    it’s amazing that people like you get these journalism jobs when your a new jack that has no knowledge the supposed artists you think you like. Ever heard of “The Prelude”?

  • Big Dick Daddy

    M 80 is the shyt, all ya’ll otha nigga ass haterz get the fuck out the way. Lick my balls bitches, this story sucks! how did you get a job writing for a living, lick my taint bitch!

  • http://comeonwithitrss.info/ Mary Horsely

    Is definitely blogengine greater than hubpages in some way? Must be because it is ever more popluar recently.

  • http://inspiringthoughtsgi.info/ Hershel Brodersen

    Is definitely blogengine superior to live journal in some way? Should be as it would be increasingly popluar of late.

  • http://twitter.com/themaincourse Main Course

    You aint hip hop if you dont know Rayz. Do listen to Wayne or something you bitch ass fucks