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Michael Vick Is The DMX Of The NFL…

I decided to talk about dumb ass Michael Vick today because it allows me to use the word bitch without referring to any women. But for real though, what the fuck is on this nigga’s mind?!? How are you gonna be the number one draft pick and start an illegal dog fighting business to supplement your income? That’s like Elliot Wilson using his 401k to copp a brick of Diesel for when he retires from the magazine game. You have to be a supernatural meatball to think that type of shit is good money. I might expect some da dunn da dunt shit from Mike’s brother Marcus because that fool is straight 7-thirty, but not from the Black Superman. That’s what happens though when you live in the ATL. You are raised up thinking that illegal shit is good money. Look at your boy DJ Dram(a). Soon as he moves to Atlanta he thinks he can get his hustle on and evade the tax man. Nigga please?!?

I prah’lee should have recognized the flaw in Vick’s mindset when son got pinched for that weed charge in the airport. How you gonna be a franchise fucking quarterback and you ain’t got no weedcarriers?!? Even DMX had that lil’ nigga Drag-On. I know mad cats from broke ass Virginia is eating off this dude Michael Vick. One of them ‘Bama fools needs to step up to the plate and take a charge for this fool. If Vick goes down, so does your free lunch plan. I say ‘bama because only a backwoods country nigga wants to fight dogs and that shit ain’t but one step removed from fighting cocks (no shirtless Baby hugging shirtless Wang).

DMX loved fighting dogs and breeding them joints. Dog fighting is apparently the ‘hoods version of penis compensation. Rich motherfuckers get a toupee or a gotdamned Corvette Stingray when they need to compensate. ‘Hood motherfuckers get a fuckin’ pit bull and feed that shit gunpowder and blood gravy. Ron Mexico better get his shit together and get himself a white woman. You don’t see Tiger Woods having any of these problems do you? Exactly!

Shouts to King magazine and their cover story with Karinne “Superhead” Steffans. She might be the smartest bitch ho player in the game. She thinks she is so slick too by trying to sell the tone to the phone. That trick talks about dating Wayne and Ne-Yo. Bitch please?!? One of those homos would have been enough to sound convincing, but to mention both of those fags in the same article just screams out Rock Hudson style publicity stunt. The only thing you can ever believe out of a ho’s mouth is that she wants your money.

I am tired of all these dumb motherfuckers getting all of this scrilla and then doing dumb shit like fighting dogs, buying spinning rims and throwing wads of cash up in the air, but I guess this is what happens when the south runs Hip-Hop. That’s the difference between myself and some of these fools in the entertainment business. I will not be buying champagne to pour down a bitch’s back. Even if I had a damn flute under her asscheeks. Why should I drink her backsweat? It was my backsweat that afforded the damn bottle of champagne in the first place. That bitch should be drinking from my azzcrack.

When I say bitch I am referring to one of Michael Vick’s female pit bulls, of course (no Don Imus up in this bitch).

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