Lauryn Hill, psycho hose beast

I’ll admit, sometimes my misogyny gets the best of me. It’s not so much that I hate women, it’s just that I love women so much that I want them to be the best they can possibly be, and sometimes my love clouds my better judgment. Nhjic.

Case in point, when I heard, back when I was in college, that the guys who really produced Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill were suing her because she was trying to take credit for a whole buncha shit she didn’t do and because she’s an insane beeyotch who’s not nearly as talented as she’d have you believe, I just took it for granted that this was true.

Obviously I wasn’t at a vantage point during the album’s recording to know one way or the other, but I just assumed that it was, since, let’s face it, I’m a bigot like it. The idea that someone like Lauryn Hill would be a fraud just sounded right, especially when you consider that the only really good albums by women (Live Through This by Hole and Hard Core by Lil’ Kim) were secretly written by men.

As is the case more often than not, I turned out to be right anyway. Without male collaborators such as Wyclef and the rest of the smelly Haitians who worked on the Score, and whoever it was who really wrote and produced the Miseducation, the best she could come up with was that garbage she was kicking that time she was on MTV Unplugged. What’s more, she could hardly sing, since she had obviously burned her vocal chords from smoking too much crack.

I’d be lying if I said I spent very much time wondering what she was up to these past five years or so, but, since you mention it, I’m assuming she’s been holed up in her home with which ever one of those worthless Marley spawn she’s married to and their smelly kids, smoking crack and trying to will herself into becoming a great songwriter the same way Neil Young beat epilepsy. (My bad for even having to drag Neil Young into this.)

If “Lose Myself,” her new single from the soundtrack to some Disney movie which was intended to be her big comeback hit of the summer, is any indication of the level of progress she’s made, she might want to take another five or ten years off. Why? Because the shit isn’t any good, that’s why.

However, that hasn’t stopped from going on a small comeback tour of places where there’s still enough saps willing to drop $80 to watch a washed up Lauryn Hill. So far, I know it’s been to Oakland, California and London, England, and it should be hitting NY in a little bit. If the first few dates are any indication of what you ‘bags in NY have to look forward to, you could be in for the worst concert evar.

Take for example this report of a gig she played in England the other day.

The singer played at the Birmingham Academy last night (July 9) and turned up on stage two hours late at 10.30pm. Some fans had already left before she turned up.

Once onstage, fans have described her as looking “wasted” and “cracked out”, with one saying that it was “the worst gig of my life.”

Yikes!

On the one hand, you can’t help but feel sorry for someone who’s career has fallen so far so fast. Less than 10 years ago, she was widely regarded as this generation’s equivalent of Stevie Wonder. Nowadays she’s obviously got more in common with the old, cracked out Sly Stone, except for the fact that Sly Stone was once genuinely talented.

On the other hand, fuck Lauryn Hill. If she didn’t have such a ridonkulous ego in the first, it’s likely she never would’ve arrived at such a sad state of affairs.

  • bucnasty

    first, bitches…

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    Her concert in New York is in Brooklyn and it’s for free. I will be walking my fat ass over to see her. If she flops then the only thing that I will lose wil be calories and a couple of hours.

    I stay winning…

  • RDJ

    Word.

  • http://www.myspace.com/larrybrite Larry Brite

    Well . . . . The Oakland Show was just about the same – some people were diggin’ it, but a lot asked for refunds.

  • mrLex

    “dedicated to all those with big egos…”

    If all is true, then that’s just a shame. Like on the movie Crash…”You ebarrass me…”

    Foxy doesn’t write her own lyrics, Lil’ Kim is so into plastic surgery, Lauryn is a crack head…good job ladies…You’re making female artists look good.

  • che

    bol, so you gna ask billy to be ur date at the XXL 10th Anniversary soiree? lol!

    yes homo.

  • Tyler

    Dead on BoL. But I think it’s worth the 50 bucks 2 watch a true crackhead wander around out of their mind on stage. They should even throw crackrocks at her while she is on stage and watch her really go. It’s sad but U are right. If her ego hadn’t gotten so bad then maybe we would feel sorry 4 her. As far as her not writing her own shit. . People need 2 get hip 2 how this industry really works yo. Alot of joints are made off the backs of some way more talented people ‘dat just end of getting screwed outta tha’ picture because they have true talent and don’t have the stomach 4 business ya’ dig.
    SolutionsGlobalMedia.com aka SGM7.com
    Love it or Hate it, Tell a Friend.

  • LOL

    BOL, SEEING AS YOU WORK IN THE MEDIA I THOUGHT YOU WOULD KNOW BETTER.

    YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO, IF SOMETHING GETS ONE BAD REVIEW FROM A CRITIC. THEY ALL FOLLOW SUIT.

    AFTER HER MUCH PUBLICISED ‘BAD PERFORMANCE’ IN THE US.

    HER UK PERFORMANCE WAS ALWAYS GOOD BE SEEN AS BAD , UNLESS SHE BROUGHT OUT A 90′S MICHEAL JACKSON TYPE SET AND LIGHT SHOW.

    I KNOW PEOPLE WHO WERE THERE AND THEY SAID IT WAS NO WAY A BAD PERFORMANCE. AND ARE SURPRISED BY EVERY REVIEW.

    PERHAPS SOME OF HER PAST ‘QUESTONABLE STATEMENTS’ ARE CATCHING UP WITH HER.

  • youngll

    AFTER ALL THIS YEARS OF GOOD MUSIC YA’LL MOTHA’ FOKAZ GONNA’ TURN ON LAURYN HILL?? COT. DAYUM THATS THAT SHIT I BE TALKING ABOUT, ABOUT US BLACK & LATINO PEOPLE.. WE’RE QUICK TO TURN ON A MOTHA’ FOKA THAT FUCKS UP ONE TIME MAN… SHE NEEDS HELP SHE HUMAN SHE CAN FUCK UP ONE TIME.. STOP FUCKING JUDGIN’ THIS BLACK QUEEN OF HIP HOP.. SHE STILL BETTER THEN 90 PERCENT OF THIS WACK MC’S

  • Combat Jack

    This dude that works in the cafeteria at my office was just telling someone (excitedly) that Lauren was playing live in Brooklyn next week or the next. I interrupted (before reading this post) that I’d never waste my time seeing her play live since, in my opinion, she’s whack! Dude looked at me as if I said I didn’t believe in God (which I don’t). I guess that’s why he has to punch an effin clock and wear an effin ghey ass hair net for the rest of his effin life! Eff Lauren Hill. nhjic!

  • smog

    damn bol snapped on this great last paragraph,
    fuck Lauryn Hill. If she didn’t have such a ridonkulous ego in the first, it’s likely she never would’ve arrived at such a sad state of affairs.

  • Incilin

    No matter what you say, Ms. Hill is one of the nicest ever when she was doing her thing. I never seen any proof that some other dudes wrote her lyrics (And I’m sure if there was some you would have hyperlinked them to this post, if you’ve seen some credible stuff then please link it to the comments section). She’s really the only female MC worth listening to because she has something real to say. People complain about the way women are treated in hip hop, but then poeple like lil kim and foxy brown get on the mic calling themselves bitches and spiting rhymes more sexually vulgar than their male couterparts. Lauryn Hill was dropin knowledge, fliping flows, and singing beautifully.

    True, she might be on crack. Which is the worst, since just about eva otha drug can lead to great music (weed, heron, acid, lsd, translates to snoop and dre, the doors, jimi hendrix, and ungrateful dead) but crack is jus the worse thing on this planet. Either that, or that bitch is just crazy. Maybe even both.

  • righteousness

    what the fuck?

  • http://youtube.com/lovexxpeacexxjoy phurdrick

    …fuck Lauryn Hill. If she didn’t have such a ridonkulous ego in the first, it’s likely she never would’ve arrived at such a sad state of affairs.

  • Danny

    Why would you waiste a blog on trashing garbage?

  • b-ease

    AFTER ALL THIS YEARS OF GOOD MUSIC YA’LL MOTHA’ FOKAZ GONNA’ TURN ON LAURYN HILL??
    ^^^^^^^^^^

    The Score came out in 1996, the Miseducation in 1998. Thats 3 years of good music. It is now 2007. That’s nine years of bullshit. Ms. Hill has long passed the benefit of the doubt line. She just sucks now. That’s it.

    I still think she’s the greatest female MC of all time. Kim is second.

  • b-ease

    Incilin Says:

    July 12th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
    No matter what you say, Ms. Hill is one of the nicest ever when she was doing her thing. I never seen any proof that some other dudes wrote her lyrics
    ^^^^^^^^^^
    There was never a dispute that she wrote her lyrics.

    The dispute was that she supposedly produced and arranged everything on Miseducation also. and thats more or less been proven false. XXL did a ill article on it a couple years ago as a matter of fact.

  • dbahsee

    Yoooooo MUthafucka why we got to be smelly haitians , u dont see us calling u a fat ass or anything derogatory soooo chil with all that bullshit fat asss niggga

  • Ryan

    LOL is the Lauryn Hill of people who post on this site, take that as you will.

  • Ryan

    LOL is the Lauryn Hill of people who post on this site, take that as you will.

  • Ryan

    LOL is the Lauryn Hill of people who post on this site, take that as you will.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Why would you waiste a blog on trashing garbage?

    I just like to keep the honest ones honest.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com EReal

    If I wanted to see a crackhead on a stage, I woulda been to a damn ODB or DMX concert. Fuck That.

    You cant help but respect the level of haterism in this post tho.

    Bravo, Sloth, Bra-vo.

    1 hunned.

  • HNIC

    Like the late, great Rick James famously stated; “Cocaine is a helluva drug…” just ask Whitney and Bobby. As a matter of fact, she should consider doing some type of collaboration with the both of them… after they’ve had it out over the last hit off of that glass dick (pause…), Pookie from New Jack City style; they could work collectively on trying to revive their careers… I just hope that she doesn’t develop that nervous tick/lock jaw that Bobby Brown has. What a sad day that would be.

  • 1st down

    Hole and lil kim are the best albums by women? What’re you smoking bol? I figured a fat emo gin blossoms listening blipster like you would at least be up on some cat power or ani difranco or other white girl menstral period music like that.

  • sk

    nah man my man from the Marley’s turned/dicked that bitch out…she hasn’t been the same since

  • VLsteve

    BOL

    you might wanna tone down the haitian shit, I mean they got vudu, and theyl chop your ass up

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >I figured a fat emo gin blossoms listening blipster like you would at least be up on some cat power or ani difranco or other white girl menstral period music like that.

    Funny you should mention it. I’m actually going to see Cat Power this weekend. Maybe I’ll write about it here Monday.

  • http://LOLLOL.COM LOL

    I KNEW BOL WAS A HIPSTER FAGGOT

  • houston county

    ay, this shit had me crackin up!!! smelly Haitians.. however tragically funny, but seriously yo.. Lauryn Hill smoke crack?!

    nuh unnh!

  • NoMamesBuey

    Lauryn made 2 great albums
    1 1996 The Score
    2 1998 Miseducation of L Hill

    & then became a mom. She hasn’t fallen off, she is absent from recording studio albums. If she records a 2nd solo studio album or 2nd Fugees studio album, & it is wack, then she fell off. As of now her legacy is really solid.

    This is a case example of how fickle some rap fans are. If L-boogie died instead in 1998 instead of opting for motherhood semi-retirement, yall douches would be proclaiming her a GOAT candidate.

    BTW your hero BIG can’t claim 2 excellent albums like Lauryn. BIG’s 1997 Life After Death is half-filler.

  • zonie

    nomamesbuey u r on crack BIG’S is the only hot rap double album…go kill ya self

  • DollarWells

    Yeah Bol, we’re expecting a full write-up from the Pitchfork fest in the Chi. Don’t wear yer new Starburys and fuck up your one nice pair of kicks though! Hurtis!!!!!!!!

  • http://Flatlinez.Blogspot.com Smurf

    Bol is my hero!!

    -Smurf

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Yeah Bol, we’re expecting a full write-up from the Pitchfork fest in the Chi. Don’t wear yer new Starburys and fuck up your one nice pair of kicks though! Hurtis!!!!!!!!

    A) If they get a little bit muddy, I’ll take ‘em out front and hose them off.

    B) Worse case scenario, they only $15; I could just break down and get another pair.

    @Buey:

    If by “became a mom” you mean “gave her career up for the pipe,” then yeah, I guess you’re right. Lauryn Hill put out two good albums and then became a mom.

  • http://www.bonfiles.com Bonfiles Lenoir

    I never bought the hype on “Miseducation”.
    A few choice joints sure but as a whole? nah. I can;t be bothered to give another listen to see if it holds up.

    Maybe I was just not as mature then to get it. I figured if I wanted to hear this I’d just listen to Erykah all day.

  • Big Chris

    Bol or whatever the fuck ya name is. You sit up here and shit on everybody who puts out an album and every rapper in the news. You need to let go of 50 cent’s nuts, and stop making black people look stupid. From the shit you write I would’ve thought you was a racist redneck. One of these rappers is gonna put ya fat ass on your back one of these days. You probably don’t even know too much about rap except what you see on t.v. I bet your fat and bedridden and can’t get with no women, so you sit back and slander the character of people in the entertainment business. Check yourself you fat faggot…

  • DANJA29

    Some of y’all are just tryin’ to protect her because of those three years she gave us quality music. Let’s call a spade a spade: Lauryn went fukkin’ NUTS.

    I can’t stand to agree with Bol, and I might not say all the shit he said, but I think it’s time to admit that Lauryn got caught up on some shit. Whether it was egomania or crack (and I’d be willin’ to bet both), the Lauryn Hill we see now is not the Lauryn Hill who we all thought would be the world’s next iconic artist. There is no comeback album, no Fugees reunion, or anything else on the horizon- she just did the same basketcase shit she’s been doing a FEW DAYS AGO. At this point, you think shit’s gonna get any better?

    Shit’s sad tho’.

  • The Spaniard

    “Life After Death is half-filler”

    If not more.

  • AQUILOGY

    when you consider that the only really good albums by women (Live Through This by Hole and Hard Core by Lil’ Kim) were secretly written by men…………………………………
    have u listened 2 any of jean grae’s albums

  • aquilogy

    jean grae is the best female MC she’s better than MOST male MC’s

  • The Spaniard

    “jean grae is the best female MC she’s better than MOST male MC’s”

    by a long shot

  • lol

    the last 2 posters are white

  • aquilogy

    does that mean u have to be white to enjoy good hiphop……………………..

  • aquilogy

    i am a real african from south africa

  • The Spaniard

    …and the poster immediately following the “white” guys (LOL) is a brilliant connoisseur of music and culture. I, for one, stand in awe.

  • triplesixninja

    fuck a lauryn hill!

  • nzagy

    —I’ll admit, sometimes my misogyny gets the best of me. It’s not so much that I hate women, it’s just that I love women so much that I want them to be the best they can possibly be, and sometimes my love clouds my better judgment—

    lmao – damn gonna use this one next time i have a fight with my girlfriend. classic

  • livefromthe225

    and now amy winehouse wants to quit so she can drank vodka all day and blow off her future ex-husband…money + fame + estrogen= self destruction…unless you’re like latifah who really has nuts and a recurring 5 o’clock shadow

    however seeing l boogie perform live > seeing jay-z, ti, wayne, eminem, curtis jack, and whatever other chart topping “rap artists”

  • http://www.myspace.com/thakidmd THA KID MD

    We gotta start supporting our Black sistas man! It’s easy to tear a woman down, maybe yaw forgot that she got kids, KIDS, SHE GOT KIDS, SHE GOT KIDS!!!!!!!

    Everyone goes thru something, we gotta start lifting each other up!

    If you think someone is going down offer to help them. On the real aint too many dudes out here as tight as her I can only count 5 NAS, JAY-Z, RAKIM, SCARFACE AND 3000!

  • clarknova

    PEOPLE WHO WRITE IN ALL CAPS ARE RETARDED…
    and Lauryn Hill is whack.

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    zonie: wu-tang forever ring a bell?

  • Brock

    Damn your harsh on her man. That comment about the smelly haitians and the marley offsprings: I bet your ass ain’t going to the carribean anytime soon!

  • M-Kay

    Wat up wit BOLLOCKS calling Haitians & Marleys smelly? Stop hatin muthafucka!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/mc585 M.C

    I’m co-signing

    M-Kay & The Kid MD—–WHOM ever wrote this blog is an ass—-SMelly haitians and Marley bros…NIgga you a joke…HAITIANZ ARE RUNNING SHT IN THE SOUTH BITCH…ZOE POUND ASK ABOUT IT–THEM MARLEY BROS HAVE BEEN PRODUCING SHT FOR MAD ARTIST…U fucking writer nigga–And you not even good at what you do–You’re down grading women son–TIna-whitney all they black sista’z that gaved us all good music we fucking turn around and said/ wrote the same things about them when FUCK UP NIGGAZ LIKE YOUR AZZ STARTED FEEDING OFF? TREATING THEM WRONG….It’s starts within us fellaz–Like fab and NEO is saying Sht—they make us better so should we…BITCH NIGGA…..M.C

    http://www.myspace.com/585 is you want to knwo who the fuck is saying this sht…You are the definition of a “STUPID NIGGA”

  • Posty McRetard

    I support this thread. Bol is a visionary.

  • Taye M.

    I would not pay to see Lauryn Hill in concert now…. but there is no question that she is the greatest female lyricist / MC ever!!

  • derfla the hus’la

    lol been away for a minute and this dude is still bashin on black female mc’s lol…..pussy deprived nigga Bol

  • http://MOBZINE yfc

    Stumbled onto this site after listen to a song by Joss Stone feat Hill its alright but I’m guessing you haven’t heard it considering you know sweet fuck all about music. Lauryn Hill didn’t so much as fall off, as fall out, straight outta the game. Granted she looks less than straight..well perfectly shaken she is still a better perfomer and artist than a lot of whats out there, and definately a better artist than your nu-rave/hipster/emo fags and fagettes. As for Female emcees have you even heard of jean grae, erykah badu’s cameos and a host of U.K females….Get off the internet and plug some headphones into a stereo.

  • tumi

    This article is so typical of an angry black guy who has been abused, forever bashing and degrading their fellow black females what a disgrace. For your information the guys that produced Lauryn’s album wanted to sue, they did not do it it’s her record label that advised her to settle, anyway what is 5 million dollars if your album has sold more than 18 million copies. For crying out loud according to the case these guys never claimed that they produced the whole album, they only wanted credit for what was due to them. There is no way in my mind to doubt Lauryn’s abilities as an artist. She has written and produced songs for Aretha Franklin, Mary J Blige and Cece Winans. I remember some years ago watching VH1, they were actually interviewing Lauryn’s high school teachers they indicated that she was one of those brainy kids and a great poetry writer and this surfaced when she was only 13. Her teachers were amazed by her intellect and knowledge at such a young age. And for any person to come up here and claim that Lauryn is a fraud it’s ridiculous. For starters what record label would allow any artist to work on their own, I mean really guys lets get real. I wonder if the person who wrote this article have heard the latest development in the music industry that female artists sleep with producers for tracks. Only God knows what happened between Lauryn and those guys, for anyone to judge her and call her names it is really out of order.

  • ms. michele michelle

    well if you had a man who had a women before you and kept her while with you, you would probaly get out of the relationship. but no not ms. hill , she decided “hay i think i will smoke some crack and it will all be o.k…….seek help sister!!!

  • http://snuffi.come Anon

    This writer is a complete douche bag. As Big Chris said:
    Bol or whatever the fuck ya name is. You sit up here and shit on everybody who puts out an album and every rapper in the news. You need to let go of 50 cent’s nuts, and stop making black people look stupid. From the shit you write I would’ve thought you was a racist redneck. One of these rappers is gonna put ya fat ass on your back one of these days. You probably don’t even know too much about rap except what you see on t.v. I bet your fat and bedridden and can’t get with no women, so you sit back and slander the character of people in the entertainment business. Check yourself you fat faggot…

  • mslsd08

    FIrst of all, Lauryn was not on crack!!! She was acting crazy cause people already thought she was crazy so she let the dumb critics think that!!! And second everyone on here that is talkin stuff about Lauryn is some haters and probably listen to some wack MC’s. Lauryn is a GREAT and she still making money off her Mis education album…. And to this day aint no one toucing her with the lyrics or the voice… yall tripping if yall think someone is but Haters just keep on hating cause Lauryn gone always be on top!!!!!

  • Fugees

    I swear whoever wrote this shitty articles knows absolutely nothing about talent. How can you say that she never had talent? For one she had one of the best voices, and secondly the skill she showed in writing her verses in the fugees was absolutely incredible. Fuck you for saying fuck her.
    Also, do I have to ask why you consistently refer to Haitians as smelly? Its bigoted pieces of shit like you that don’t deserve to have opinions