"Black men walking with white girls on they arms. I be mad at 'em, as if I know they moms. Told to go beyond the surface, a person's a person. When we lessen our women, our condition seems to worsen." - Common, who's for the people

I would describe for you d-bags why Finding Forever is such a staggering artistic failure, but Noz the Cracker already said it better than I could. Plus, I already tried to the other day, and the force of so many Common apologists came down on me like the World Trade Center on the little Eichmanns of America's global financial empire. It was tragic!

In particular, I couldn't help but appreciate the argument put forth by so many of you fruits that my own review of the album couldn't possibly be accurate, since I'd only listened to it once (actually three times) before I reviewed it. And yet you could all be certain that Finding Forever is one of the best albums of the year, if not evar, despite the fact that most of you couldn't have possibly heard it any more times than I had at that point. Riiight.

But whatever. Who gives a shit about that album anyway? I may never listen to it again in its entirety. One thing I did find interesting about it though is that it highlighted something I've suspected for a long time, which is that Common hates white people. And I don't mean "hate" in the sense that he holds them responsible for enslaving our ancestors for hundreds of years, and finds himself constantly in competition with them (and often failing) to make love to their women. No, obviously Common's hatred of white people is much deeper and more bizarre than that.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I stumbled upon the source of Common's barely disguised hatred for his mostly white audience, as evidenced by lines like, "When we perform, it's mostly coffee shop chicks and white dudes," from the Roots' Things Fall Apart back in the late '90s, and, "While white folks focus on dogs and yoga, my people on the low end trying to ball and get over," from the new album, a few years ago while I was investigating a minor controversy having to do with some comments Common made in a magazine, about Rastas who date white women.

I never was able to locate the exact quote (I think it may have been from a magazine that's only published in the UK), but the gist of it is that Common expressed his confusion and displeasure with regard to Rastas who date white women, which must be fairly common (no pun intended) over there, the idea being that it's bad enough when a regular pink toe-obsessed excuse for a brother such as myself lusts after the white man's most prized possession, but Rastas are supposed to be above that sort of thing, presumably based on how they dress.

Dredlocks, teh ghey-looking clothes, and b.o. = progressive, clearly. Dressing the way a grown-ass man is supposed to? Obviously not so much. At this point, I would draw some sort of correlation between the fact that Common tries to link the progressive nature of one's views to their personal appearance and the fact that both him and Kanye Toodles failed to graduate from college, but then I'd run the risk of looking like a douche. Plus, you should see my bank account these days. That shit's mad empty. And that's what matters at the end of the day, right?

At any rate, some MCs no one ever heard of took exception to whatever his comment was and recorded a dis record called "Dear Common," in which it's revealed just how retarded some of Common's views are. As it turns out, Rastafarianism doesn't promote separating people on the basis of race the way Common does. In fact, many white women are actually rastafarians themselves, so you could, as a black guy, be dating a white chick who also happens to be a Rastafarian, though I'm not sure how desirable that would be, for other reasons...

In the days and days that I spent researching this story, because I'm dedicated like that, I came across some photographic evidence which I believe reveals the true source of Common's obvious distaste for a good percentage of his own audience. When I pointed out a few years ago that Common's obviously got some sort of thing against white people, a few people pointed out that Common is pretty light skinted himself and hence is probably the result of some hot miscegenation. Lo and behold, I stumbled upon a picture of Common posing with his mother, and damnit if she's not whiter than half of the white people I know.

So you see, Common spends so much time these days lashing out at his own white audience because he realizes that he himself is part-white, and he fears he won't be accepted by black people (was he ever?), unless he constantly goes about letting the world know that a white woman can't do anything for him other than buy his albums and show up to his concerts. Which, if you think about it, is roughly tantamount to saying he hates his own mother.

Who's the self-hater now?