A Name I Call Myself

“They call me the modern day LL Cool J.”—Bow Wow

I was a lil under the weather today so I chilled at the crib and caught some TRL. Didn’t know the show still even existed since I thought MTV just pretty much runs America’s Next Top Model reruns all day. Plus like you button-pushers I pretty much catch all the videos first on the Internets. Anyway, some teeny bop shit popped up on my screen with some fake Pussy Cat Doll looking mini-chick named Paula DeAnda trying to bring sexy back.

Now I’m no R Kelly, but I took a few to see what shortie was all about. Plus the track had a lil boom bap to it. Next thing you know, lil’ Bow Weezy pops up in his freshest white T and kicks some rhyme with the world lame and extends his fingers L shaped—kinda like the way James Todd Smith does. Then the young cocky bastard delivers the quote from above about he’s the modern day LL Cool J.

What is this, the new trend to shit on rap legends? First we had all that new Preemo shit, now this? I know in these guys twisted minds they feel they’re paying homage but truth is truth: No OG rap veteran wants some new generation rapper and/or producer of the day claiming to be the new version of them. Respect this hustle? Naw niggas. Respect the rap legends.

What’s next “I’m what Kool G Rap was in his prime.” (Wait didn’t Jay or The Game say that once?) “He’s the incarnation of Big Daddy Kane.” “I’m the resurrection of Big Pun.” It’s gotta stop, people. There was never a new Michael Jordan in basketball and these hip-hoppers of today need to worry about carving out their own niches. Leave the comparisons to us journalists and the boisterous bloggers. Like Whodini and Millie Jackson once advised, “Be yourself.”

P.S. The song was actually produced by Danja and this is a remix. The original version featured Mr. Guest Appearance himself, Lil Wayne on rap vocals. Guess Weezy isn’t giving everyone single’s rights. Funny that the fake Weezy would follow in Mr. Carter’s footsteps since he jacks his flow on another teeny bop train wreck, B5’s “Hydrolics.” Are you bored or confused yet? Like I give a shit.