Contact Us

When in Germany…

There never really is a truly appropriate response when some cracka-ass cracka drops the dreaded n-word on you, is there?

Think about it: if you don’t say or do anything at all, then people are going to think that you’re a pussy, or, worse, that you don’t have a problem with cracka-ass crackas dropping the dreaded n-word in your presence. Next thing you know, cracka-ass crackas will be calling you “nigger” all day everyday as if you were one of Elvis’ background singers or some shit, and there won’t be a whole lot you can do about it.

If you do take offense and end up putting your shoe on some cracka-ass cracka as if he was one of Saigon’s girlfriends, then you’re still gonna have to deal with the police. Contrary to popular opinion, having one’s feelings hurt doesn’t justify slamming someone’s head in a car door, at least not legally. Best case scenarion maybe both of you end up jail, but chances are the cracka-ass cracka will get off easily, because, you know.

Speaking of people who are on steroids, Timbaland was fortunate in that a) he’s an international celebrity, and b) his incident took place over in Germany. In case you haven’t heard, Timbaland was arrested in Germany the other day for beating some German crackety-crack to a bloody pulp after he made the mistake of calling Timbaland a dreaded n-word for trying to pick up on the guy’s girlfriend.

Even though Timbaland reportedly beat the guy half to death (and probably scored with his girlfriend afterwards), I can’t imagine he’s going to spend any more time in jail than the few hours he did the other day, or even have to pay that much of a fine – even though I’d say it’s pretty obvious he was in the wrong here, the dreaded n-word notwithstanding.

The thing is, it’s not like Germany can just throw some famous black person in jail for five years for beating somebody up for using the dreaded n-word. Not after what they did in World War II! Ever since the war ended, they’ve taken extra careful precaution to make sure they don’t run afoul of any religious or ethnic minorities. They even gave a shiteload of money to a buncha Jews who weren’t even in the Holocaust. If he wanted to, Tim probably could’ve even raped the guy’s girlfriend right in front of him and still gotten off with a slap on the wrist.

If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that every once in a while some cracka-ass cracka is going to call you the dreaded n-word, and chances are you’re not gonna like it. If you’re famous, and in Germany, go ahead and beat the living shit out of him, and try to find a way to embarrass him while you’re at it. Because you’re probably going to get away with it. Otherwise you might want to think twice, lest you run the risk of being thrown in jail for a significant amount of time.

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to using your original account information.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for XXL Mag quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!