Smoke up, Snoop Dogg!

If there’s one thing that people like to do these days, it’s throw a bitch fit when a celebrity gets away with a crime just because they’re a celebrity. Take for example the situation with Paris Hilton. People were all pissed off when it looked like she might get off having only served one day behind bars, because the judge thought she might hang herself in her cell or some shit. As if.

Though I suppose I’m slightly more famous than the rest of you bitches, I’m pretty far from being a celebrity myself, and I definitely don’t have any money. If, god forbid, I was to get caught driving drunk this weekend (because I might have to), this would probably be the last you’d hear from me for a while. But I figured it might be interesting, on a Friday afternoon, to try to make a case for celebrity justice.

Just to keep things hip-hop (though Paris Hilton did once put out a rap record) let’s use Snoop Dogg as an example. Because he loves to smoke weed, Snoop Dogg gets busted by 5-0 every once in a while, but he usually manages to escape with just a slap on the wrist. To hear Suge Knight tell it, this is because Snoop Dogg is a police informant, but I prefer to believe it’s because he has a shiteload of money.

Recently though, Snoop Dogg hasn’t been nearly as fortunate. I don’t know if it’s because the valuable service he allegedly provides to the police only counts here in the US, or if cops in foreign countries are just more racist than the LAPD (which, admittedly, would seem less than likely), but so far this year he’s already been banned from both the UK and Australia, as if he was a terrorist or some shit. (He’s not even a Muslim!) Which just seems insane, as far as I’m concerned.

The situation in the UK seems especially egregious once you consider that that’s where motherfucking Pete Doherty is from. On the outside chance that you ‘bags aren’t familiar with Pete Doherty, even though pretending as if you like rock music is supposed to be in this year, he’s this cracka-ass cracka who sniffs blow the same way that Snoop Dogg smokes weed, which is constantly. He’s what my father likes to refer to as a miracle of modern medicine.

In fact, this motherfucker’s been arrested so many times (in the past two years, mind you) that his arrest record even has its own Wikipedia entry. Not even Snoop Dogg can claim as much. Obviously it’s going to be that much more difficult to ban someone from the country of their birth, but you’d think that if this guy can smoke crack and shoot heroin and do all types of other shit and basically get away with it, Snoop Dogg should at least be able to show up, smoke some weed, bang a couple of white chicks and go home.

If there’s a difference, it’s that Snoop Dogg sometimes packs a weapon and travels with an entourage and sometimes gets into violent confrontations at the airport. And you’ll recall that back in the early ’90s he had his weed carrier kill a guy, though I’m pretty sure they got away with that. The thing is, Snoop Dogg probably does have a legitimate cause to fear getting robbed by some jealous chain snatcher, or, god forbid, being assassinated by Suge Knight as if he was Biggie and Tupac. But still, he’s probably not doing himself any favors traveling with such a gully bunch. And obviously there’s no good reason he should ever get caught with the bag in his possession.

My theory, with regard to drug laws, is this: I could give a rat’s ass whether or not some d-bag decides to “get nice;” but obviously the reason this country has such strict drug laws (other than racism) is that people have proven time and time again that they can’t indulge their love of various illicit substances without fucking with people’s cars, breaking in people’s houses, robbing and killing people and what have you. It may not sound fair, but the truth of the matter is that people like Snoop Dogg and Pete Doherty, who have the means to get as fucked up as they want without stealing anything, don’t pose much of a threat to the rest of us. As such, I could care less how easily and how often they get away with it.

  • #1Stunna

    first

  • B.N.W

    Nice post. I was wonderein abt u for a minute there.

  • womacc

    LOL @ the pete doherty references.

  • b-ease

    Cue DJ N(ot)credible calling this post racist and written by an uncle tom and that if a someone that sells toxics to their own people has to go to jail, so should paris hilton…

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    i completely agree actually. smoking weed is a victim-less crime, in my opinion, in and of itself. the harder drugs of course make the person doing them the victim, and no matter what, that person is personally accountable for their actions. however, snoop is banned from uk and australia because of his violent behavior, in an international airport (heathrow i believe), and considering the high level of punishment post-9/11 (i cant believe i wrote that phrase), any violent action in an airport warrants the same punishment. australia is merely cosigning uk as far as i understand it, although i am sure it is much more complicated and we have limited information.

  • http://www.myspace.com/creaseburn bkey12

    fukk pete doherty

  • b-ease

    oh yea, dope post.

  • Hokus

    It’s fucked up how many celebrities get away with doing the same shit that has filled our prisons with the poor and stupid. There is no such thing as fairness is our justice system, but I’ll tell you one thing, I live in Canada and when Snoop played in my town, the cops were there in force. They confiscated weed and stuff. ( not mine, of course I didn’t get searched!) The venue was blue with smoke and Snoop blazed swishas the whole show with our lovable cops looking on. It’s not fair, but it made for one hell of a show. Until I got into some shit with security for smoking a CIGARETTE! Oh well, I guess that’s just the F’d up world we live in. Besides, if you ever stopped celebrities from getting away with murder, then no one would want to be one and then Byron wouldn’t have anything to talk about and he’d be out of a job. Then he’d have to do the dumb shit that gets people trown in jail. HA HA! – Peace!

  • Danny

    “I definitely don’t have any money”

    ^^^
    The last couple of articles I have noticed BOL continuously stating that he has no money. I think he is trying to tell XXL he wants a raise…

    In my opinion they should slap him with a deduction for that Stack Bundles blog…

    Gone but not forgotten….. (That’s double meaning… think about it…)

    Ya dig??

  • http://www.xxlmag.com EReal

    Hey Bol,

    You think you’re famous enough to be on the next season of celbrity fit club? I dont know half the motherfuckers on that show anyway.

    1 hunned.

  • http://xxl q-buro-2-thuro

    piff…put it in the air

  • Sarutama

    You theory holds some water. But, to play devils advocate for a moment, what level of fame should be required in this scenario for the lax enforcement of drug laws to kick in? I mean yeah, Snoop will probably never need to steal my car stereo to support his habit. But what about some douchbag who gets a hit TV show? He might be rich at the moment, but if that shit flops he might end up Dana Platoing somebody for a fix.

    But seriously, shouldn’t the rule for the rest of us be that you should be able to do drugs until you fuck up on them? I mean, smoke a good amount of weed. But I the worst I’ve ever done to another person while on it is take too long to decide between the Americone Dream or the Chocolate Fudge Brownie at the bodega around the corner from my house.

  • http://ifux.blogspot.com Colonel SANDERS does not condone gay porn

    Paris Hilton did NOT put out a rap record. She put out some high-quality BULLSHIT.

    And also, I thought this was America.

  • cali neon green

    snoop is kingggggggg

  • these posts are racist

    There are 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. Your racist BOL and do nothing more than further the Fox news-esque propoganda…that oppresses minorities/people of color.

    Ignorant kid.

    • Anonymous

      muslims are NOT a race….it is a religion…..tard :/

  • Incilin

    “in the early ’90s he had his weed carrier kill a guy” — Actually it was his body guard, no Israel Ramirez.

  • Tyler

    BoL, your father said? I thought ‘dat U wre rasied by rock mountain BlackBears? Nonetheless great post but U should have included the rest of these fools ‘dat are getting caught and making it hard 4 us common folk 2 high and stay free.
    UrbanRock
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusrealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • http://myspace.com/k0nfidence k0nfidence

    money post again bol

  • http://xxlmag.com troyel

    Well the truth of the matter. It doesnt matter if it as snoop dog or some hard headed g from longbeach. Get a grip on your life and take responsiblity for yourself and the crew that accompanys you. YOU LEAD BY EXAMPLE NOT DEFAULT….SMOKE WEED AT HOME OR IN THE LIMO, HOTEL WHATEVER AND LET YOUR BODY GUARDS CARRY THE HEAT “COACH SNOOP” WHAT A ROLE MODEL..

  • Chris S

    did u really use the phrase “as if”

    come on now

  • Bill W

    Real talk – If the govt regulated the use of illicit drugs in the same way they do tobacco and alcohol (and get their cut), it wouldnt be as big a deal…

  • Cuban Link

    The thing is, Snoop Dogg probably does have a legitimate cause to fear getting robbed by some jealous chain snatcher, or, god forbid, being assassinated by Suge Knight as if he was Biggie and Tupac.

    ^aha lmao, and with that whole mansion issue he has, I wouldnt doubt it if he decided to pop another rapper

    and about that whole robbing and killing people cuz of drugs thing you said, back in the day that was a crazy idea.I mean weed doesnt do that much, but with crackheads around nowadays, its a whole new story.

    and I think it really depends on the celebrity.The media make Paris Hilton to look like shes stuck up and spoiled.So the court wants her in jail, as do so many people.A shitload of white people dont like Snoop Dogg as well, and the media makes him look like such a pimp, that people across seas especially, who dont get the same amount of info as we do here, wouldnt know any better

    I mean, the media doesnt make Method Man look like a gunslinging thug, and Ive never heard him getting busted for weed except like once.And he smokes way more than Snoop Doggy Dogg will ever dream of smoking

  • stoneyisland

    It’s thinking like this that holds black men back. I mean damn when will niggas grow the fuck up? if you still blazing up tress like you did when you were 17 but now you damn near 40 and still doing the same shit, then you are one stupid immature ass fool. Think of how much paper Snoop or any other weed headed ass rappers have spent on weed, I dont have real figures but the shit has to be in the high MILLIONS! think what Snoop and anyother fool who buys weed by the brick load could have done with that paper in their own communities? we cant keep waiting on the white man to fix our education system, we are a people, especially black men need to step our games up and start doing more in our communities. As long as it’s positive i’m done with it, if it’s foolish kids play type shit, I don ant any parts of the shit. Holla

  • beeyo the man with the plan to scam stan for his fan

    This was funny. That is all.

  • HHS1982

    BOL, I must admit that was very interesting string of logic; not good or bad… just interesting.

  • ak47

    >but the truth of the matter is that people like Snoop Dogg and Pete Doherty, who have the means to get as fucked up as they want without stealing anything, don’t pose much of a threat to the rest of us.

    two words : Pacman Jones.

  • H-LO

    I thought Snoop is clean for a couple of years now. He said at least on “RnG Tha Masterpiece” that he’s been high on weed for the last 15 years, but now is high of life.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=10980 Jay

    i understand what your talking about 100 percent they do shit but isnt violent i get it.. but if thats the case why is there a law on it and written in the rule books.. i know ppl got caught wit coke harmless and got time..weither there not violent or criminals dont matter its written in the law books clearly.. so as long as its written and still considered an U.S law we need to know that.. basically your sayin who cares what celebrities do because their on they got money while avg. citizens will get shipped up for it

  • http://XXL BUCK THE WORLD

    Lmao At Da Pacman Jones Reference

  • gutta mayne

    SNOOP is the godfather of hip hop. People dat dont know shhit or even listen to hip hop know one rapper thats SNOOP. He not even the best rapper its just his presence he brought to the game. Give snoop his respect not top 10 best rappers of all time but still the GODFATHER of hiphop. and a legend

  • kal

    lol.. hes this cracka-ass-cracka.. shit had me laughin

  • http://xxlmag.com Albert

    good points. mef got cot recently wit weed. he has 2 do sum bs. but all my friends who have been cot wit posession got in lots of shit. n wen snoop came 2 canada n i saw him, every1 was smokin buds. we were right infron of a security gurad n he saw ul like so many times puffin on a joint. well actually like 5 lol. they dint give a shit. they no they wood have 2 kick out the majority of the crowd 2 get rid of all the drugs.

  • http://goalkeepermore.blogspot.com Dylan Hagan

    Super great article. Honest..

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