Paris Hilton Is More Hardbody Than Foxy Brown…

Everyone has been a bit gleeful that Paris Hilton is doing a bid for whatever crime it was that she committed. Paris kept her shit official too by not snitching on Nicole Ritchie for the murder of Israel Ramirez. Paris Hilton now has more street cred than your favorite rapper. I think that her parents must have secretly brokered a deal with the judge to reinstate her sentence because never, ever, ever in America does someone with privilege have to do jail time. Paris doesn’t just have privilege either, but a mega-billion dollar family akin to royalty with Hilton hotels as their fiefdom. I think Paris has been so busy snorting everything she could find her parents opted for a state regulated time out.

Now if Paris comes from a family that has more money than God and she is still serving time how is it that Foxy Brown has managed to avoid a similar fate? God knows that Foxy has been begging to have her ass sent upstate for a few months. This looks like reverse racism if you ask me, and more importantly, Paris Hilton can now tattoo a teardrop under her eye or whatever. What’s to become of Black people if all these white people start going to jail? Blacks will be getting softer and more mellowed out. I sense the possible return of P.M. Dawn. We need some Black celebrities to go to the clink to act as role models for the youth. Busta Rhymes, Foxy Brown and R Kelly should all voluntarily enter the penitentiary. Remember how productive Tupac was when he went to jail?

This is some topsy turvy world that we live in where the best golfer is a Chinese nigger and the queen of soul music is some white chick from England addicted to horse. Blonde haired celebutantes are being sent to jail while hard of hearing hoodrats can roam the streets to kick the asses of nail salon technicians. We already knew that the Hip-Hop universe wasn’t immune to the madness when we learned that the best rapper alive dropped out of school at eleven years old. Don’t be surprised when Diddy announces his candidacy for president of the United States. I can just see Diddy now smacking the shit out of Vladimir Putin because dude didn’t let his wife party with Diddy.

The real question that I have about Paris’ stint in the county clink is whether she is using the time to fill up her rhyme book or if she’s just chillaxin’ in general population. Whatever she’s doing, when she leaves jail she will have served more time than Jay-Z, Young Jeezy, T.I. and NaS combined. Somebody needs to get that chick a deal on Koch Records.