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Is Jay-Z on the DL?

As I noted in a post here a couple of weeks ago, hip-hop has never been quite as teh ghey as it is in 2007. Already this year we’ve had Lil’ Wayne kissing Baby on the mouth, Pastor Ma$e cruising for tranny hookers as if he was Eddie Murphy, T-Pain congratulating Ray-J on the size of his “meat,” and Beanie Sigel getting high on cough syrup and trying to shove his tongue down Peedi Crakk’s ear.

The latest such incident involves Jay-Z, who’s supposedly teh ghey and lives with this guy named Larry Johnson. In case you’re like me, and thought Larry Johnson was that one basketball player who played Grandma-ma in those Nike commercials back in the early ’90s, no; apparently this is another Larry Johnson, who plays football for the Kansas City Chiefs and also happens to be a male model. Hmm…

My boy TKC lives in Kansas City, so he should know. And you know how Mexican dudes are about teh ghey people. They don’t play that shit south of the border. So he’s been on top of this story for some time now. According to a post on his blog from back in 2005, Johnson (heh) is more or less a known fruit, having been outed in a story in KC’s local New Times Village Voice fishwrap the Pitch from back then.

Why in the world Jay-Z would live with another guy, let alone a suspect male model is beyond me. Granted I’ve lived with a series of guys (and not, as many of you bitches would like to think, my mother) going back to the late 1990s, but that’s because I could hardly even afford to live with a roommate, let alone by myself. Obviously neither Jay-Z nor this Larry Johnson fellow have such an issue.

And yet, apparently the two of them live together. It was reported recently on several black (read ghetto) gossip sites that the two of them share a unit Donald Trump’s Trump Tower. The source of said rumor is the following note the blog Bossip received from a woman who claims to work in the building and hence has front row seat tickets to the alleged teh gheyness. Emphasis mine.

I am writing you to asked a question. I work in the building Jay z lives in Trump Tower and though him and Bee are together, I’ve never seen her in his building? But what’s strange to me……..I see Larry Johnson all the time in fact he lives with Jay-z. The other night they attended Cav& Nets games……..when did they become so close? and why is Larry living with Jay. I have some video footage from phone of them together in the building. Is jay gay?

Okay so granted you can’t believe everything you read on the Internets, especially if it was written by that idiot TPAR, in which case it’s almost certainly bullshit. However, the above rumor has since been confirmed by an actual white guy, a sports writer out of Philly named Paul Domowitch. What’s more, not only is Jay-Z roomies with a suspect male model, but the two of them actually went half on the place as if they were man and wife. Aww… how sweet!

To wit:

The Chiefs have been talking to Johnson’s agent about a new deal, but the two sides still are far apart. A club source put the odds of Johnson holding out this summer at 50-50. Johnson, who owns a home in New York with rapper Jay-Z, showed up in Kansas City Sunday for the first time since the team began its voluntary workouts last month and has worked out with his teammates the last 2 days. He has indicated that he will attend the team’s postdraft minicamp in 2 weeks.

It must be tough having to fly out to KC for minicamp when he could be in NY with his boo…

No but really, I’d say Jay-Z definitely has some explaining to do. I mean, it’s bad enough he’s got Memphis Bleek in his will, and he’s always got something bad to say about a woman (even I’ll sometimes praise the size of a woman’s cans), but sharing an apartment with a shirtless male model closet case? That’s just teh ghey.

Granted I realize him and Beyonce are supposed to be all serious at this point, but what does that mean, really? Plenty of teh ghey guys have been married to women over the years. At this point, if Jay-Z wants to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s straight, he’s gonna have to do something extra-straight. Even if a video of him tagging Beyonce was to emerge, I’m not sure if that would suffice. How would we know he was enjoying it? He always seems so expressionless…

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