What female emcee is on the soundscape to take over the vacant lane left by the dearth of lady rappers? Remy Ma? Lil’ Mama? Paris Hilton? Forget about Foxy Brown. Eve seems like the most logical choice since she has been mounting a comeback to the recording booth. The only problem is that Eve really needs to mount something, if you know what I’m saying? With all these R & B chicks putting prostitutes out of business the job for lady rappers got that much harder. Ha, I just said harder. Seriously though, if Eve came back to the rap game hardbody she might stand a chance of reaching her former popularity.
That means no more collabos with Gwen Stefani and BeYonce’s wig brusher Kelly Rowland. Eve has to get back to that nasty stripper flow she used to spit. That straight up Sue’s Rendevous, Club Nikki’s, The Goat, Al Capone’s type naked fury. No more of this debutante emcee shit. Fuck that UPN show. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck yo’ couch! That’s the shit that rap fans want Eve to be on. She needs to blow some crills with her homey DMX and rip her shirt off to show her tits. I’d even like to see her taking a piss in a video. Even better would be to see her pissing on her ex-boyfriend Stevie J. He was the dude that released that sex tape video of Eve. That is some hardbody shit right there. That would drive the rap music fans bananas.
Whatever a man does means a female has to do it twice as well. That’s the burden for any woman in our patriarchal society. So if male rappers are running around with their shirts off and the their underdrawls showing a female rapper has to be totally nude. Lil’ Kim never had a problem peeling down to her birthday suit and neither should Eve. It’s not like that’s something she isn’t familiar with. I say take it back to those days when you were a hungry, young raptress (my word bitches) and get rid of that Hollywood weave. Eve is from fucking Killadelphia for chrissakes. She needs to get back to that stick up your john, steal money from a pimp’s pocket, spit in a cop’s face flow. Yeah, that’s what rap fans want to hear right now.
Eve has got to get her DUI arrest weight up also. If she does like a month in the county that will make her more Hip-Hop to most rap fans. Otherwise we are looking at Paris Hilton right now as the most hardbody chick on the microphone. Paris and Brandy, because Ray J’s sister is merc’king fools for real and not just on records.