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When It All Falls Down…

It’s not like I want to see people losing. It doesn’t give me any measure of satisfaction and it certainly doesn’t make me any wealthier either, but, being the fan of entertainment that I am at least there is some drama involved in watching folks go down in flames. It’s like when you drive by the horrific car accident and you crane your neck to see if you can spot any dead bodies. It’s not like any of us really wanted to see dead people in as much as we have the need to utter, “Dammmmmmmn!”

That’s how I feel about your boy Dame Dash, world renowned cake-a-holic and shameless pitchman. There isn’t anything that Dame wouldn’t try to sell people. He sold the DipSet lifestyle to kids that didn’t live in Harlem and they thought that the Diplomats were the coolest shit since ice cold. And in reverse he sold conspicuous consumption to the ghetto by wearing a Roc-A-Wear sweatsuit to work, carrying a bottle of fancy vodka and being driven around New York City in a Maybach. When everyone was buying this shit Dame Dash was on the top of the world. He had a license to print money and it seemed like he could spend it even faster.

After seeing all of America’s favorite jig performers and entertainers go belly up at some point you would imagine that in this day and age the new generation of jig glitterati has more fiscal sense than say a Sammy Davis Jr. or an O.J. Simpson, but still we see cats like Scottie Pippen having to turn his fedora into a bucket in the hopes that Michael Jordan will put some of that scrilla he uses to gamble with to help him back on his feet. Damn Scottie. The list goes on for celebrities that have had to file Chapter 11 in order to keep their creditors or the I.R.S. from eating their last bit of food. The last dude I expected to find himself under this scrutiny is Dash. He was personally schooled by Hu$tle Simmons, who himself is the real ultimate hustler in the ways that the tI’s run these streets. Dash was supposed to be able to avoid these pitfalls even after his acrimonious breakup with his BFF, Jay-Z.

Jay-Z is currently 180 degrees from where Dame Dash sits now. Jay-Z has never been more important as an urban lifestyle pitchman. Every minute some big manufacturing corporation is looking for Jay-Z so they can place their product in his hand. Budweiser, Coke and even the color blue now belong to Jay-Z. Dame Dash has Pro-Keds and a warrant for two-million dollars worth of unpaid income taxes. Did Dash never get the memo that ‘The Man’ always gets his first off the top? I just hope that Dash can make a killing this summer selling his Pro-Keds and that new O.D.B. album, because I don’t think they serve his favorite kind of cake in Sing Sing.

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