Swizz Beats Is The Last Hip-Hop Producer Alive…

It was one of those moments where you could remember exactly where you were when that feeling came over you. I was in a sneaker store on Eighth Avenue and they had their sound system tuned in to some internets radio station. Internets radio is the last real radio alive. It’s where you can still hear music in all of it’s inane, profane glory. I was listening to a song by Eve and it was produced by Swizz Beats. I had been watching a music video with a song of his earlier and I had been listening to another song of his on terrestrial radio after that. Then in the sneaker store it dawned on me that Swizz Beats was the only man alive that was still making Hip-Hop music.

You already know that Timbaland is producing a new techno album with Justin Timberlake, and Premier is doing a new album with Norah Jones, and Kanye is about to go into the studio with that rich eccentric dude and help him with his comeback album… What’s that dude’s name? Oh yeah, Elton John. Where are the producers that still want to make Hip-Hop music. Not that shit that has harpsichords and lyres in it. Just that lava fire shit that makes you want to rap over it, even though you know you suck at rapping, and you have a slight stutter, but fuck it you still want to get on that beat. Swizz Beats my friends, is the last man standing.

You already know dude’s pedigree from the beginnings of Dark Man X and the whole Ruff Ryder movement up to his current label and his ill-fated rapper Cassidy, but did you consider all the bangers he has built for other cats to spit on? Swizz is that nigga to go to if you want to get an explosive high tempo party anthem. And most importantly is the fact that he is doing it all inside of the rap genre. It seems like everybody else is dying to get the hell out of making rap records. I think Wyclef’s next project is going to be a production deal for Flock of Seagulls. Everyone is on some easy listening lite-FM bullshit. At least Swizz still believes in the boom bap.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong. Maybe Swizz is waiting to jump away from Hip-Hip as well. He could easily use his catalog to master a CD for a calisthenics session at Crunch gyms. The Swizz Beats Swiss diet would end up on Oprah’s bestseller list. Swizz would get his own reality show where contestants had to dance for five minutes straight to the song ‘Bring ‘Em Out’. Whoever was left standing would win some shit. I don’t fucking know what they would win, I just came up with this idea a second ago, but you see even Swizz Beats will leave us one day for the greener pastures of popular music. What will we do then? I suppose Havoc might still be around making tracks unless he gets snatched up for that new Gym Class Heroes album. Maybe Robn Thicke will make beats for Lil’ Wang since he writes his rhymes for Wang anyhoo.