See, that’s why we can’t have anything

My plan for this Memorial Day was to spend the entire day drinking beer, eating a shiteload of barbecue, and watching the Sopranos marathon on A&E. But of course I had to get called into work that morning, so, alas, I only spent about half the day drinking beer, eating a shiteload of barbecue and watching the Sopranos marathon on A&E.

I suppose it could’ve been worse though. To date, I’ve yet to be shot at by a guy named Wufgang while sitting in a Cadillac Escalade with two Mexican kids on Memorial Day. Fat Joe, meanwhile? Not so much. Supposedly, that’s pretty much what happened to Joey Crack the other day. Both of said Mexican kids died in the shooting and Fat Joe is now wanted in Miami for questioning.

Why was Fat Joe sitting in a Cadillac Escalade in front of a coffee shop at 6 a.m. on a Monday morning? Were the scones really that good? And why was some ignorant-ass black guy going around calling himself “Wufgang,” and what caused him to shoot those poor Mexican kids sitting in the Escalade with Fat Joe? Who knows, but my guess is this why Fat Joe is being sought for questioning.

Obviously Fat Joe can’t just walk into the Miami police department and be like, “Yeah, those were the two kids I paid to carry my weed around in a Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and, here, let me point out the perp for you while I’m at it.” Not only would that be snitching, which is verboten in hip-hop (as if his album sales aren’t bad enough already), but it might also be self-incriminating.

So Fat Joe skipped town right after said incident, not unlike the way Diddy fled L.A. the night Biggie was killed without so much as arranging for his corpse to be flown back to New York. Of course Fat Joe’s excuse is that he already had some shows scheduled out of the country for this week; and the thing is, the cops already picked up Wufgang, so I’m sure he’s hoping this whole thing blows over while he’s away.

Just beyond hip-hop’s silly stop snitching ethos and the fact that this is the umpteenth such incident in the past couple of years in which some weed carrier has turned up dead while the bag’s true owner has managed to escape without harm (think about it), I find this whole thing kinda sad in that it highlights the fact black people can’t go anywhere, not even on vacation, without getting involved in some shit.

Interestingly enough, there was a separate controversy this weekend in which black Memorial Day revelers in Miami were complaining that they were being profiled by the police and various business establishments. Indeed about 800 people were arrested this year, down from about 1,000 last year, and 60 guns were confiscated, which seems rather insane for what’s supposed to be a motherfucking vacation weekend.

Which begs the question: What is it about black people, and the hip-hop community in particular, that we can’t seem to go anywhere en masse without all sorts of shit jumping off? Are people going on vacation for the sole purpose of committing a crime, or does it just sort of happen when there’s too many of us around?

Or am I just making this shit up because I’m a racist?

  • http://www.myspace.com/thelowends FAT TONY

    It’s the same old bullshit everywhere you go. Niggas have a knack for enticing the law.

  • whatupkicko

    Probably all of the above to some degree or another..

  • http://total-selections.com Casey

    LOL at ur opening…

  • whookid123

    fuck fat joe

  • AK47

    you can take the thug outta the ghetto, but u cant take the ghetto outta the thug. ya dig??

  • Incilin

    Man, I don’t know. Hip hop just can’t actrite. It just can’t. And why the fuck would you bring guns to mermorial day??? Reading this got me thinkin of whas gon happen on the Puerto Rican day parade which is comin up in a few weeks (Early June, I’m sure)

  • http://www.msn.com King Ben

    I agree. I think because 99% 0f hip-hop crowd really wish they were gun toting rappers. Honestly, we wish we were as gangsta as are favorite rappers songs. SAD.

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    Miami during Memorial day is the worse look for Hip Hop and black people in general …

    The only thing that embarrasses black people worse is Byron “BOL” Crawford

    ^^^^
    (had to throw that in for yesterday’s “yo’ mamma jokes”)

  • http://www.myfreepaysite.com EReal

    Its because these retards listen to too much Jeezy.
    Im sure to a certin extent there are D-Boys and Thugs at these certin events. For the most part tho, IMO, I think its people trying to have life imitate art. They listen to too much rap and all the sudden they’re in some fucking fantasy world where you can blast cops and ship bricks off like fuckin UPS and never get caught. Until you do some dumb shit like this and now homeboy is not only going to have to listen to his hiphop thru a shitty 10$ commissary radio, but get his ass kicked on the daily for being named Wufgang. Grow the fuck up, seriously.
    Between that shit, the egos, and the alcohol and drugs involved on holidays its pretty much guarenteed some shit is gonna pop off.

    Can you be considered a racist if you hate people equally, even your own??

    1 hunned.

  • Content

    It’s like my boy Billy Ho said in ‘White men can’t jump’…black people would rather look good and loose than look bad and win.

    It’s an image thing. I live in a college town on a street with nothing but town houses and shit and some of my nieghbors own Lexus’ and Lacs’ while paying $500 in rent every month. They’re 35-45 years old paying rent and living next to my starving student ass.

    Priorities.

  • B Seals

    Bol asked:
    “What is it about black people, and the hip-hop community in particular, that we can’t seem to go anywhere en masse without all sorts of shit jumping off? Are people going on vacation for the sole purpose of committing a crime, or does it just sort of happen when there’s too many of us around?”

    I pick option two. It’s the law of averages man. The more people involved the more of a chance of something stupid poppin off….

    That’s just the way it goes. Human (Stupidity) Nature.

  • agee

    Bol your fucking funny…… as if his album sales were not bad enough……lol.

  • Malik C.

    Content, you’re on point. Hell that’s why black athletes choose something like Baseball and Football(WR, RB, QB). They always want to show off with what they’re doing.

  • Combat Jack

    “Were the scones really that good?”

    “And why was some ignorant-ass black guy going around calling himself “Wufgang,”

    “Yeah, those were the two kids I paid to carry my weed around in a Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and, here, let me point out the perp for you while I’m at it”

    Bol, you’re back at it!

  • ri067953

    Straight up stupidity. That is the main cause of all the violence in hip-hop. Fat Joe gotta be close to 40 by now and still getting caught up in some mess! It’s all about ego and pride which runs rampent in the hip-hop community. None of these fools want to be humble, instead they run around trying to out floss the next man. That leads to nothing but trouble. You never hear about white folks getting shot up in the Hamptons!

  • John Brown

    EReal Says:

    May 31st, 2007 at 2:44 pm
    Its because these retards listen to too much Jeezy.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    WTF? So Jeezy has the power to tell someone to go kill someone? Oh and let me guess Eminem has the power to tells everyone to bitch slap your mom and wife? First, we dont know if the shooter and the victim had a history in the past. Maybe the two dead bodies were the ones who set it off and “WULFGANG” didnt have no other option but to defend them himself. Why when something goes wrong everyone jumps on the “oh its hiphops fault” bandwagon. I have been listening to hiphop since the early 90. And to this date I havent killed no one, havent sold crack, bitchslap my moms, sister or girlfriend. Stop blaming hiphop and the artist and blame the person who took actions.

  • yaboy

    bol- has this blog job working for a hiphop mag every manifested into any female attention?

    bol with xxlmag.com > bol by himself?

    or is there no difference…

  • Port_o_Prince

    Man i was at Memorial Day this weekend and popo was heavy everywhere i was staying at the Loews hotel and they were profiling like crazy. U ask why Fat Joe hangin out at 6 am? Nobody goes to sleep till the next day during that weekend and no that nigga would not be snitchin becuz the dude already got caught and admitted to the shooting, i think they tryin to get a murder charge cuz dude claimin self defense….I dont think fat joe need to talk to popo cuz they have all the evidence they need and other witnesses

  • http://almostaexpert.com missile 6

    The problem is niggas don’t have shit, so they hate those that do. If somebody has a little more than them they find it necessary to figure out a way to confront them.
    Once again, young dumb fu*ks have it confused about what snitching is and is not. If you not doing nothing wrong and crime happens to you, it not snitching to tell the police. Its snitching if you are doing dirt and get caught and turn states evidence to get yourself out of trouble. Do the research, its from the costa nostra days. These cats are poisoning the youth and they think its cool or thats whats hood.

    Half of these dudes ain’t what they rap about. Its the same reason this magazine has an estimated 30 ads for bullshit ass rims and none for scholarships or college, even though the majority of people who read it are under the age of 18.

    People need to wake up and realize whats going on around them. Good post Bol, you on point with this one.

  • these posts are racist

    Bol-

    Profound writing. You are so genius. It is true, blacks cannot go anywhere without getting into trouble…and killing a couple of people. As opposed to the “whites” who don’t kill anyone ever.

  • Yung Ether

    as they say, “you can dress em up but you can’t take em nowhere.”

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    well, our media has this habit of ALWAYS stating the color of the perp if he/she is not white, and somehow being forgetful about the color if he’s white. coincidence? how many violent crimes happened amongst whites that weekend? i would imagine as many at least. reported in the media however? probably not so much. also, fat joe isn’t even black, so how does the “black people can’t go on vacation” argument even apply? and don’t tell me he’s black just because he says nigga eleventy billion times a day.

  • boss

    “Just beyond hip-hop’s silly stop snitching ethos and the fact that this is the umpteenth such incident in the past couple of years in which some weed carrier has turned up dead while the bag’s true owner has managed to escape without harm (think about it)”

    That was a really slick way of calling out Eminem, Busta Rhymes and T.I… why not just name names?

  • latino thug

    this one was hilarious!!.

  • Cuban Link

    thoreauly77 Says:

    May 31st, 2007 at 6:23 pm
    well, our media has this habit of ALWAYS stating the color of the perp if he/she is not white, and somehow being forgetful about the color if he’s white. coincidence? how many violent crimes happened amongst whites that weekend? i would imagine as many at least. reported in the media however? probably not so much. also, fat joe isn’t even black, so how does the “black people can’t go on vacation” argument even apply? and don’t tell me he’s black just because he says nigga eleventy billion times a day.

    ^^I think he was referring to Wufgang.And honestly, think how many crimes really happen in the suburbs?How many crimes happen in rural white areas?The black crime rate is much higher than the white, so honestly I doubt white people commited as many crimes as blacks did this weekend.

    • Cubanito Mia

      True..all of the local in MIA know you dont go outside Memorial Day weekend or you leave town. Is pretty clear our lil piece of paradise is turned into hell’s half acre that weekend…many will just be happier when hip hop weekend finds a place other than Miami…

  • Cuban Link

    thoreauly77 Says:

    May 31st, 2007 at 6:23 pm
    well, our media has this habit of ALWAYS stating the color of the perp if he/she is not white, and somehow being forgetful about the color if he’s white. coincidence? how many violent crimes happened amongst whites that weekend? i would imagine as many at least. reported in the media however? probably not so much. also, fat joe isn’t even black, so how does the “black people can’t go on vacation” argument even apply? and don’t tell me he’s black just because he says nigga eleventy billion times a day.

    ^^I think he was referring to Wufgang.And honestly, think how many crimes really happen in the suburbs?How many crimes happen in rural white areas?The black crime rate is much higher than the white, so honestly I doubt white people commited as many crimes as blacks did this weekend.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka Sin Piff

    smh@a dude named wufgang

    lmaoo@the content of this blog

  • SaN

    science will tell u dat on of the bad effects of weed is dat u feel paranoid and dat someone is off to get u,so most of this shit that pps off is nothing bt gets exagerated cos the mofos are higher than a mofo,why else wud they be a shooting at a gotdamn cofee shop.dont beliv me?ask ur self this:why did proof hav to die over a game of pool and AMERIKA STOP MAKING GUNS SO EASY TO GET COS MAYBE THIS MOFOS WILL JST FIGHT INSTEAD OF BUSTING A CAP.CAN I GET AN AMEN(had to use caps cos i needed to stress my point)
    adios amigos(and no i aint mexican)

  • Crossbow

    what

  • Tyler

    Bro, I live on South Beach cuz’. . and the white people be acting a fool 2 when they have their holiday weekends it’s just ‘dat when it’s a black situation going down the police are heavy. Meaning on every block as far as the eye can see. Most locals stock up on food and don’t even come out side during a black thang cause they know how the cops are going 2 be acting. Not sayin’ black people don’t act up just sayin’ white people do dirt 2. . Just less get caught 4 it. Dats all and Great Post BOL.
    Lose Yo Mind AT:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • NoMamesBuey

    Bol, given the fact that use the Nuyorican Fat Joe, as an example of how bad isht happens to blacks on vacation

    does that mean that Fat Joe is justified in his absurd overuse of the n-word? After all the shock blogger Bol referred to Fat Joe as a black guy.

  • kayos

    this system is messed up, its giving other people e-mail address to post comments, i’m not kayos

  • international_che

    Could everybody stop blaming the music, ya’ll sound like congressmen and senators….why is it so hard for people just to blame themselves for their problems…shit I ain’t never heard of a Rap song that describes what happened to fat joe…which would be summin’ to hear….look black people are still racially profiled and thus the chances of catching a black man are higher than catching a white dude…who’s off breaking his own laws…. plus nowadays any straight thinking white man, will commit corporate fraud or some shit than have blood on his hands…to black folk it’s all new money and we don’t mind blood on our hands apparently…but that’s just my theory.

  • SILLY WILLY

    You can take a horse to water, but not make him drink.
    You can take a man to school, but not make him think.
    An you know cocaine is a helluva drug !!!

  • 40ozking

    For the past few years, if Joe is in Miami, u can always count on seeing him at David’s Cafe. Especially if he is out partying… After this, I don’t think that will be happening anymore. Time to hire that personal chef..

  • http://www.vitwearinc.com Ayigansta

    WHAT THE FUCK HIP HOP HAS TO WITH THIS,
    “SAM-BOL” ?

    YOUR ASS ALWAYS SOUND LIKE FRIDAY IN “ROBINSON CRUSOE”. YOU CAN’T HELP BUT THINK LIKE A SERVANT TO WHITE SUPREMACY.WHAT THE FUCK HIP HOP HAS TO DO IN A MURDER THAT HAPPENED A 6 AM ON MONDAY MORNING NOT EVEN IN A HIP HOP CLUB BUT IN FRONT OF A CAFE? JUST BECAUSE A HIP HOP ARTIST WAS ON THE MURDER SCENE IT HAS TO BE HIP HOP FAULT. BECAUSE THE MEDIA OUTLETS THAT FEED YOU YOUR DAILY OVERDOSE OF WHITEWASHED NEWS BLAME IT ON HIP HOP YOU HAVE TO GO IN THE SAME DIRECTION?
    YO! THERE WERE SOME BLACK PEOPLE WHO WERE SELLING BOOTLEG CDs IN THE LOBBY OF THE W.T.C WHEN THE PLANES HIT ON 9-11 THEY PROBABLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT THERE GODDAM “STOPING SNITCHING” ETHOS IS PREVENTING AMERICA TO ARREST OSAMA.

    LISTEN, WHY DON’T YOU KEEP THE HATRED TO THE MAN IN THE MIROR AND LET US ENJOY OUR BLACKNESS (OR IN THIS CASE LATINONESS)
    WITHOUT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT THE STEREOTYPES?

    “THE MINSTREL SHOW HAS MOVED TO THE BLOGS”

  • Jhon da Analyst

    I don’t give a fuck what anybody says. I’m a grown ass man and when I go on vacation, I take my pistol. It’s just the way of the world. I might be on vacation, but some other dickhead has other things going on. It’s the 2nd Amendment you dumb fucks. Call me Ed Wuncler III!!!!!!!!!!

  • Raze

    “What is it about black people, and the hip-hop community in particular, that we can’t seem to go anywhere en masse without all sorts of shit jumping off?”

    Fat Joe’s not black. Rethink now.

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    damn nonames, how drunk were you at 9:28?

  • havoc

    seems to me that wherever blacks go, trouble follows. Except for FATass Joe, he’s “puerto rican”. bet if he goes to miami he’s a cuban, and in cali he’s mexican.

  • ty from linden blvd

    Or am I just making this shit up because I’m a racist?

    ^^^^haha maybe

    have u ever been to south beach??have u ever been down there during that weekend??

    miami is fun in the sun but when the sun goes down……

  • coonstar

    slob on my knob

  • BIGNAT

    MOST PEOPLE THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE ONE BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHO GOT ONE. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO CARRY GUNS THEY ALWAYS GOT ONE ON THEM. THIS ASIAN GUY WHO WORKS AT THE CORNER STORE. HE WAS TELLING ME HE KEEPS ONE ON HIM ONE IN THE CAR AND ONE IN THE HOUSE. I THOUGHT HE WAS BULLSHITTING HE SHOWED ME THE ONE HE HAD ON HIM. THAT SHIT REALLY MAKE ME THINK DO I NEED TO CARRY MINES AT ALL TIME? I LET MY BRO HOLD MY GUN BECAUSE I THINK IF I HAD IT AT ALL TIMES THEY WOULD BE LESS PEOPLE ON MY BLOCK.

  • MAC 50

    fuck fat joe. I hope he gets locked up

  • Dude

    LOL @ Fat Joe’s “My Cadillac Experience” ad posted on this site.

    Ludacris’ foul language gets his pepsi deal pulled, and this duke gets shot the fuck up in the same car he’s hawking and his ad’s still goin strong.