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Lil’ Wang Is The Allen Iverson Of The Rap Game…

I’m not pissed off at Lil’ Wang as much as I’m pissed off at Dirk Nowitzki. That butter leather so soft hump fucked my NBA bracket up in the first round. I had Detroit and Dallas in the Association’s Finals. And then I found out Dirk was just a chick with a stick. Take this lesson from me party people, don’t bet on professional sports unless you are the one fixing the contests.

It’s been a minute since I’ve thrown your favorite rapper under the bus so I figured I could compare him to another beloved loser from the NBA since we are talking basketball anyhoo. I also decided to let this be one of the times that I didn’t mention that Wang likes to kiss men on the lips even though Charles Barkley kissed some ugly ass old white man on the lips during All-Star weekend. Maybe that is how he and Magic Johnson keep their jobs on television. Lord knows that Barkley and Magic have enough money between the two of them to hire a gotdamn speech therapist. Have you ever listened to these two ‘Bama monkeys? I can’t understand shit they are fucking talking about. Instead of wearing suits and ties they should put on overalls and walk barefoot through the studio like some Huckleberry Finn rejects.

When Lil’ Wang isn’t rapping he sounds just like those dudes. Lil’ Wang should only talk in rhyme form. That would help to make him a better emcee too. I remember reading somewhere that Tupac went for three months straight only talking to people in rhyme verse. Tupac was still lame, but can you imagine how much worse he would have been if he hadn’t practiced? That’s always been Allen Iverson’s Achilles heel. Dude hates to practice. Nevermind the fact that its been proven fact that practice only makes you better at something. It certainly doesn’t diminish your skills. I suppose A.I. didn’t feel like practicing because everyone on his team was lame. Right now Lil’ Wang doesn’t have anyone playing on the Cash Money squad that has any talent either. You need to have talent on your team to spar with to sharpen your skills. Michael had Scottie. Tim Duncan had David Robinson. Hakeem Olajuwon had the hardbody Vernon Maxwell. Lil’ Wang had Gillie the Kid until he snitched on him.

So like Iverson all Wang has now is a whole bunch of tattoos and no championships. There was a rumor that Juelz was going to be traded to the Cash Money team, but I guess they are going to wait until the off season before they sign any free agents. If I was the GM at Cash Money I’d look to get better through the draft. If you are going to retain Lil’ Wang as your franchise player then put some people around him that can help him score more often (nullus, as always of course).

Didn’t Lil’ Wang just change up his management to incorporate Kanyeezy? This was a smart move. Kanyeezy’s management is like the Arli$$ of the rap game. Hopefully the first thing they will do is bring back in a credible ghostwriter for Wang. Maybe Common will write a few Wang songs too since he is part of that whole tight fitting lady jeans movement. Also get him some reliable bench players to carry his pills around. He should never get busted again with a case of hallucinogenic pills in his pockets. What do you think Marcus Camby does for the Denver Nuggets? You didn’t think he was there for his defense and rebounds?!?

Lil’ Wang is the Allen Iverson of the rap game because someone has to have all the talent in the world, but stay losing. That is just his destiny. Over ten years in the league and still no closer to being a champion. The only thing that Lil’ Wang gets each year is another year older.

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