Eminem Is The Spider-Man Of This Rap Shit…
I have on my 6XL Spider-Man pajamas with the footies (no Lil’ Wang) and I am on my way to see the premiere of the third installment of the comic book to movie blockbuster franchise. When I collected comics way back in the day Spider-Man was always a mainstay in my collection. That book would always get the best artists and writers at different stages in their careers and the overall storyline was one that I could relate to. Peter Parker stayed on broke even though as Spider-Man he could have beasted out and did just about anything he wanted to do. Be honest with yourself, if you had one once of super power it would be all about getting rich bitch. I ain’t mad at’cha either. I get tired of having to split a can of dark meat tuna fish with my lady while I wait for my XXL Mag Dot Com digit to come through.
Then I started thinking to myself, “Self, who is the Spider-Man of the rap game?” You know, who’s ass got bitten by a bug and now he’s this superhero but he doesn’t O.D. with ego. Spider-Man isn’t like Thor or the Hulk or any of those dudes that just be kicking ass with brawn and walking the streets like they own a twenty pound ballsach. Spider-Man had to be easy with his shit because he still lived in his grandma aunt basement like most of y’all do. Spider-Man couldn’t keep a broad for his life either, and he did bag some bad chicks. Gwen Stacy was dimed out and so was that chick Mary Jane. That’s when it hit me… Eminem is the Spider-Man of rap music.
Yes, he is white and scrawny. Yes, he fucks with Mary Jane. Yes, he is a student of this rap shit on some radioactive satellite radio level. Don’t make the mistake and get all literal with the shit I am positing here. Just let it roll through your brain until it feels good. Try these out too…
Young Jeezy = Sandman because his flow puts me to sleep.
Tru-Life = New Goblin because he is desperate for attention from Jim Jones. All the New Goblin really needed was a hug.
Busta Rhymes = Venom because he’s just a problem now trying to get himself arrested all the time.
Maybe those don’t work for you. Well whatever, just put on your pajamas or your underoos and tie a bedsheet around your neck because tonight, inside of your momma’s house basement you are a superhero too.