Saturday Night Science Class

Is it possible for one group of people to gradually morph into another group of people over time? For a while now, I’ve had this pet theory that Asian women are becoming the new white women, white women are becoming the new black women, and black women are becoming the new Samoans; and I wonder if this current onslaught of female blue-eyed soul singers, which I’ve taken to calling the Pink Toe Invasion, is only the latest stage of this.

As bizarre as this all sounds, there is physical evidence that seems to confirm this theory. For example, it used to be the case that Asian women were built like adolescent boys (no Elton John’s birthday party), but, according to a report I read last year, this is no longer the case. In fact, bra manufacturers in China have had to increase production of C-, D-, and E-cup bras, and many of them aren’t even bothering to produce the old A-cup models anymore.

And I don’t think I need to describe to you d-bags what’s been going on with white women’s bodies in the past few years. The weird thing about it is that white women with black women’s asses have become so much more commonplace in the past few years. There’s yet to be the white equivalent of, say, Buffie the Body, but there’s just so many more PAWGs walking around today than there was as recently as when I was in high school, which was not that long ago.

Suffice it to say this is not a bad time to be a guy, provided you’re open to “exploring your options.”

The thing is, such physical differneces can easily be explained away as having to do with the diet. The economy is not doing nearly as good today as it was back in the 1990s, so maybe more and more white women are having to eat at McDonalds three and four times a week as if they were black people. And our import/export ratio with China has never been worse, so more and more of them can afford to eat meat in addition to their usual rice and seaweed or whatever.

But white women can’t all of a sudden start singing like black women just because they aren’t taking very good care of themselves, right? I mean, Carnie Wilson was fat like a motherfucker, and she didn’t sound anything like a black woman (though “Hold On” is still my shit). Christina Aguilera and Joss Stone, meanwhile? They might even sound better than actual black chicks. No, obviously something else is going on here.

Granted, I’m aware of the few prior examples of white chicks who kinda sounded like black chicks, such as Teena Marie and Taylor Dayne. But go back and listen to those records. They don’t sounds so much like actual black women as they do white women who took a few wrong turns in life and somehow ended up hanging out with with Rick James. On the contrary, what we’re witnessing today is something entirely unprecedented.

Which begs the question: What if, rather than being some temporary trend, this really is the next stage in evolution? Obviously I’m no scientist, but I think the evidence I’ve presented here speaks for itself. What do you ‘bags think?

UPDATE: I added a few links for those of us who may lack a frame of reference with regard to these issues.

  • cc

    so whats gonna happen to black women?

  • http://hotmail jrg2308mjkb

    1st beothces

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    It seems as though you are saying being a black woman and being unhealthy go hand and hand. Your way of thinking is and will continue to be your downfall. America is unhealthy across the board. Whites eat just as much if not more pork as blacks.

    “The economy is not doing nearly as good today as it was back in the 1990s, so maybe more and more white women are having to eat at McDonalds three and four times a week as if they were black people.”
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    same here…the demographics of McDonald’s customers has nothing to do with skin color but everything to do with lifestyles.

    It disgust me the way you view your black women, and is probably the reason why you haven’t been with any of them.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    But white women can’t all of a sudden start singing like black women just because they aren’t taking very good care of themselves, right?
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    what does being black and unhealthy have to do with singing…I think you cant get pass the excessive fat build up on your bones, which is the reason why you view things in such a twisted way

  • DocZeus

    Isn’t this a hip-hop site, wtf

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    This has to be one of the dumbest ideas known to man.

  • thoreauly77

    i wonder then, have hispanic women just stayed the same? in other words, are latinas still the sexiest women on the planet/fully evolved?

  • Tyler

    Bol, U are one funny motherfucker and I must say that this post was a good shoot like U were a 5 foot 5 Korean killing machine bro . . .no disrespect 2 the dead just tryin’ 2 bring attention 2 the fact ‘dat the Korean Killa shot each person at least 3 times with many head shots and that type of shooting is better than Jordan in the Playoff in his Prime so it is impossible 2 teach yourself 2 shoot like that by playin’ a video game or going 2 a shooting range 4 a month so I smell a government conspiracy. . dats all. . Bol are on 2 something here and just tryin’ 2 give U your props. Who don’t love a whitegirl with a sick body or booty? Feel tha’ Heat:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    ya!

  • 1st Down

    Isn’t this just the same old practice of record companies co-opting (or stealing, depending on how you look at it) black music and marketing it with a white performer so that its more palatable to the white masses?

    Music execs just figure that if putting a white face on black music worked with rock (elivs), the blues (eric clapton) and rap (eminem), then why not try it with r&b. I think you’re reading way too much into this bol.

  • BIZ

    maneoats@yahoo.com ????

    hahaha you douche!

  • DANJA29

    I wanna say this blog is all kinds of dumb… but “Carnie Wilson was fat like a motherfucker and she didn’t sound anything like a Black woman” made it hard-as-hell for me to knock this shit.

    Good work, Human Bol Box!

  • 6 100

    Ayo, Bol. So what are Samoans in your opinion? Do you think Samoan women are the most evolved?

    I personally have a thing for Samoan woman. They have Asian pussy and eyes, Latina skin, Black ass & titties(I love the dark nipples), and white women hair.

    But Gotdamn if they aint got the quickest tempers ever in history. And their 6’7″, 350 pound Umaga looking litle brother with literally pull your arms off if you fuck around on her. . .

    The good thing about Samoans is if you seed them up, 99 out of 100 that kids gonna be a pro athelete. Even bol, with his asthmatic, sickle cell anemic, myopic and diabetic genetic line, would have an NFL player as his son.

    I just wish there was more of a Samoan presence in NYC. . .

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >what does being black and unhealthy have to do with singing?

    Um, I’m glad you got that…

    >Isn’t this a hip-hop site, wtf?

    Is Joss Stone not in this month’s XXL? (or last month’s or whatever)

  • http://blogs.hiphopdx.com/meka Meka Soul

    * dies at this entire article *

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Isn’t this just the same old practice of record companies co-opting (or stealing, depending on how you look at it) black music and marketing it with a white performer so that its more palatable to the white masses?

    Ah ha, but has it ever worked this well before? If not, then what’s the difference?

    My theory: these aren’t the same white bitches from ten years ago.

  • 1st Down

    ^ but has it ever worked this well before?

    Are you kidding bol? I’d say Elvis, Eric Clapton and Eminem worked a lot better than joss stone or whatever watered down lilly white version of mary j blige the record execs want to come out with next.

  • Focused Daily

    Just came back from lunch at the Quizno’s on the University of Illinois Chicago campus all we could talk about is how thick these 18-21 year old white chicks were. It’s almost unfair, a body like that, without the attitude and thugged out family members.

    Praise Allah

  • Fernando

    Nbred,

    You are a monkey faced faggit. Where is your butt-buddy TPAR? Off fighting the white man?? Probably not.

    And when I called TPAR a race peddling faggit, HE COMPARED HIMSELF TO TUPAC!! HA HA AH AH H AH AHA

  • dobydigital

    well thank you professor bol, im not sure how good citing xxl will look on my dissertation about evolution though

  • dagersblade

    funny shit

  • http://www.phyuckhyu.com kkkramer

    It’s spelled faggot, you faggot.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >I’d say Elvis, Eric Clapton and Eminem worked a lot better than joss stone or whatever watered down lilly white version of mary j blige the record execs want to come out with next.

    A) Those are guys, and B) No one actually thinks they sound like black people.

  • UIC alumnus

    FOCUSED DAILY
    It’s almost unfair, a body like that, without the attitude and thugged out family members.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    This is the most accurate post I have read today.

    “Release the Kracken!”

  • Fernando

    KKKramer,

    You were obviously never around for the days of Transient. I know how to spell tard.

  • FLIP

    Another classic, no doubt. I can’t call it on the body development, but even though these white girls getting thicker, they still ain’t throwing it back like black girls. True story.

  • jay-z

    yo wud up bol, been catchin up on a couple a ure posts wenevr i gat d tym to cuz ive heard alot bout u from sum a ma peoples (u duin big things partner..!!)..inbetween board meetings n shyt..n im intrigued by thisis fascination..borderin on obsession..that u have with me, ma wurk ethics and the state of def jam sice ma appointment as its president..can we “work it out”? as ma girl B wud say..if not den id appreciate it if u kept ma name outta ure sluggish lips u dick suckin sloth…peace..

  • jay-z

    ohh yer n nice post by d wayy…1

  • http://xxlmag.com kane corleone

    Yo Fern watch that 2pac shit cuz,talking out the side of yo neck will have your mouth pushed to the side of yo neck

  • http://www.myspace.com/twerkolator twerkolator

    speaking of transient…anyone know where the hell he is?

  • JR

    >i wonder then, have hispanic women just stayed the same? in other words, are latinas still the sexiest women on the planet/fully evolved?

    Damn good question. You have any thoughts on that one bol? I’ve always been a fan of my latina ladies. I’ve noticed the changes in white chicks he’s talkin about. Haven’t noticed anything in particular with the mamis

  • http://junglemission.blogspot.com jimmy starburst

    > They don’t sounds so much like actual black women as they do white women who took a few wrong turns in life and somehow ended up hanging out with with Rick James.

    wapapa

  • Ali

    true girls look alot better in 07 but honestly we ain’t comin2 XXL 2 read about that….bring us tha hip hop Bol I mean damn it’s Music Tuesday is this all u hafta offer?

  • Fernando

    Ruh Roh,

    Internet thug is talkin mess. You probably dont even know what I was talking about. Are you one of those pathetic souls that bangs for Tupac ten years after his death??

    In case you took the time to find out what I was referencing, which I doubt you did because it was on a Bol post from last week, I was clowning TPAR for comparing himself to Tupac of which he is nothing like at all.

    And you are going to do nothing no matter what I say. You are a joke. Get a life internet thug.

  • black/white/asian…pussyispussy

    even though these white girls getting thicker, they still ain’t throwing it back like black girls. True story.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Def gotta agree with that…they might have tha “thickness” (actually, when u get em out their clothes, its a whole lotta cellulite) but, they have NO Rhythm,hence the reason why they’ll never take tha place of sistas….

  • Nonyabizz

    ^^^^ahhh hahahahaha ya Slapped that kid

  • ESL Representa

    monkey faced faggit = Fuckin classic!!!!!!
    LMAO!!!!

  • FuckUPayMe618

    I dont give a fuck what color these bitches are ill fuck em if they fine. I would only wife the sistas tho. East st. Stand Up

  • On the Suave House Remix Tip

    BC raises some intriging questions whose answers & questions they pose may make some uncomfortable. However, let’s be honest w/ ourselves, men of all races who are more into shapes than skin have been pondering this since 96′ or so. The answer has it’s root in race mixing; Latins, Whites of varying origin, Asians, and African americans are all exchanging DNA these days, and quite frankly I think it’s better for humanity. BC’s next post may just be about the woman he saw @ Borders w/ the skin tone of a Latina, the silky jet black hair of an Asian, the body of a Sista, and the features of a Swede (I shutter in wonder at such a vision).

  • thoreauly77

    twerk- who knows.. every once in a while, like when bol did his little retrospective a while back, transi will pop up and call bol the faggit ass dreaded n-word.

  • THAT_BOY_NOAH

    the fuck??

  • vincent

    hey BOL, what’s your problem?
    your article is plain non sense, we want to read stuff about music, you talk about subjects way too sensitive and you purposely cross the line . I found your article offensive from head to toe, to any race/nationalities. Ears are color blind, and sometimes i wish you were too.

  • Miss J

    Five years ago, all of you bitches probably didn’t even know what a Samoan was.

  • http://officialhiphop.blogspot.com JOE CASTRO

    So Bol, I’m not clear… are you advocating the marginalization of black women in music and otherwise?

    __
    click on the byline to visit the Official Hip Hop Blog

  • A.Cambry

    Bol, a couple of things for sure:
    There isn’t an Asian chick that would want you
    There isn’t a White chick with a big booty that would want you
    There isn’t a Latina chick who would want you
    And there aren’t any fat black women with singing talent, who would want you.

    Look yourself over in the mirror dog. Your repulsive, seriously.

  • Combat Jack

    Hella hillarious!

  • tybe

    pointless but creative

  • tybe

    pointless but creative

  • Rob

    I’m sure Kitoy and Buffie have those bodies from eating too much mcdanolds and not from their genes. I’m also sure that white women eating fast food in the last 10 years has altered their dna’s to the point that they start to have african physical features. Thank you for that excellent lesson in evolution and biology Professor Bol.

  • Rizzop

    All the man said was that whites and asian women are getting thicker. Ya’ll are so sensitive!!! are you guys reading comprehension skills so bad that you just wont argue the point and jump straight to little insults? All this means is that people are consuming more fat, thats all. And also there are gonna be more options other than nappy headed hos (j/k…..maybe)

  • Bol

    >Bol, a couple of things for sure:
    There isn’t an Asian chick that would want you
    There isn’t a White chick with a big booty that would want you
    There isn’t a Latina chick who would want you
    And there aren’t any fat black women with singing talent, who would want you.

    Look yourself over in the mirror dog. Your repulsive, seriously.

    Not a day goes by, where I don’t think the same thing

  • EReal

    Polow Da Don was WAAYYYYYYY ahead of you on this one Jabbah.

    1 hunned.

  • whiteman

    As much as people get offended by this shit I’m sick of looking at fat black women singing when skinny hot white chicks can do basically the same thing. Asian chicks are getting bigger tits asses ect because they are eating more fat in their diet but I’d still rather fuck them over a fat black chick even without an ass or tits. Fuck I went to a chinese whore house over the weekend.

  • Harold Crick

    Bol is hilarious and half you people don’t even get the joke.