Ringtones Are The New Rap Game…

Somebody ask noz to upload the P.O.V. city anthem. That shit is the future of the rap game. Polyphonic ringtones are making wild paper. Actual rap records… Not so much. I think we’ve crossed the threshold where you have to create a new song at all. You could just use something within the public domain like the zip coon song or some other nursery rhyme theme. The next thing you know every thirteen year old with a cell phone is letting their phone ring out so that you have to listen to their stupid ass ringtone.

I had a two-way pager when they were all the rage and I never downloaded any ringtones because that shit is for losers. I kept my pager on silent or I set to vibrate only. I leave all that cute shit to the ladies. There’s a war going on outside and nobody wants to hear your phone ring, unless you have that Swizz beats joints on your chirper. That shit is fire right there. Although I still say that only squares let their phone ring out for you to hear. It used to be a big deal having a mobile phone. I remember when people used to send coded messages to your numeric pager. Shit like 0-7-7-3-4, and then you would turn the pager upside around and the message would be ‘hello’. I never did that shit. I remember it, but I never did it. That shit was for chicks and squares.

It’s the same nonsense that fuels the market for polyphonic ringtones. Everybody that wants to be extra, to be different is subscribing to plans that issue them several new ringtones monthly. If record companies had any gotdamned sense they would have computer nerds sitting in their offices creating polyphonic ringtones for all of their most popular music. Not the current crop of bullshit, but a record companies entire catalog. Imagine if MCA or Sony or whoever it is that owns the masters to ‘Illmatic’ were to release a series of ringtones for the entire album. Island Records could do the same for Jay-Z’s ‘Reasonable Doubt’. Niggas masturbate to that shit they love it so much. In this way companies like Def Jam and Interscope and all the smaller labels that have been taking a golden shower on record sales would have another stream of income from shit they own that has already proven to be popular.

I’m not like Hustle Simmons or Steve Stoute in that when I come up with an idea that will serve the Hip-Hop community and all of mankind I don’t try to find a way to make money off of it. I’m not a nappy-headed ho. I’m just a dude who loves Hip-Hop and wants to have it available for my children’s children. So long as they don’t annoy me by having their cellphones ring out all day long with that bullshit.

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  • SaN

    best non-original idea i have heard so far.them TI’s r gonna run with it

  • SaN

    its like somebody copyrighting the word:First,,just imagine how much mula u wud make off the internet kids who comment on blogs

  • http://averagebro.blogspot.com AverageBro


    Sunday, you are on point. If you’re over 18 with a freakin’ pop lock and drop it ringtone, just go kill yourself right now.

  • Thomas

    Yo…you funny as hell. That Joell Ortiz is Fireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Best joint so far this year.

  • ONE50

    And furthermore, cell phones are traking devices. What’s the first thing somebody says when they call you? Answer: Where you at?

    Anybody know that dummy who calls you on your home phone and asks, Where you at?

    And those ear peice joints are gonna get somebody killed. You don’t always know that dude has the ear peice device in his ear, but he just starts talking. All it’s gonna take is somebody to say something slick aroung the wrong person who doesn’t notice the ear peice, then it’s gonna be bang bang.

    Fall back people on all that cell phone technology sh*t. Before you are talking to some broad with your little blue light up ear peice and you tell her, you got some pretty eyes boo. And dude standing next to you think you are talking to him, get your cap twisted.

  • The Spaniard

    When I hear a musical ringtone from a guy’s phone I instantly think “single parent (mother) household”. That shit is very woman like.

    This post is accurate to 1/1000000 for a probability unit.

  • 6 100

    Several scientific studies provide evidence for the theory that cell phone towers are a major cause in the collapse of bee populations, with controlled experiments demonstrating a rapid and catastrophic effect on individual hives near towers

    Bees play an essential role in the fertilization of many crops, trees and other vegetation all around the world.

    “It seems like the plot of a particularly far-fetched horror film. But some scientists suggest that our love of the mobile phone could cause massive food shortages, as the world’s harvests fail.

    They are putting forward the theory that radiation given off by mobile phones and other hi-tech gadgets is a possible answer to one of the more bizarre mysteries ever to happen in the natural world – the abrupt disappearance of the bees that pollinate crops. Late last week, some bee-keepers claimed that the phenomenon – which started in the US, then spread to continental Europe – was beginning to hit Britain as well.

    The theory is that radiation from mobile phones interferes with bees’ navigation systems, preventing the famously homeloving species from finding their way back to their hives. Improbable as it may seem, there is now evidence to back this up….

    The West Coast is thought to have lost 60 per cent of its commercial bee population, with 70 per cent missing on the East Coast…. The implications of the spread are alarming. Most of the world’s crops depend on pollination by bees. Albert Einstein once said that if the bees disappeared, “man would have only four years of life left”.

    So. . . your cell phone is killing the Earth.

    Your annoying ass chirper is gonna kill you. . .




  • lelee

    Hip-Hop has officially jumped the shark…

  • Combat Jack

    I keeps my shit on vibrate as well. I just hate when I can’t find the cotdamned phone!

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    This post sucks. It’s like I became Tara except with a fatter arse (nhjic).

  • http://www.soundclick.com/shoduction sam

    If you’re over 18 with a freakin’ pop lock and drop it ringtone, just go kill yourself right now.


  • Dr Flav

    Dont be a 304! Nah, real song ringers are alright by me as long as they are free, but I have had the first four bars of Shawn’s verse on the Young Jeezy Go Crazy remix. Low volume and vibrate. lol

  • http://www.niggaknow.com MarvOne

    Straight truth! love that line about the nigga nextel chirpers!

  • che

    >This post sucks. It’s like I became Tara except with a fatter arse (nhjic).

    if tara didn’t blog on this site, I wouldn’t bother with xxl. there’s only so much ignorance one can take from you and bol.

  • N.O. 4 life

    you can’t really comment on tara that much cause she is usually right rarely offends and internet thugs don’t tend to disrespect her for no reason (maybe because she is a female)

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