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Ringtones Are The New Rap Game…

Somebody ask noz to upload the P.O.V. city anthem. That shit is the future of the rap game. Polyphonic ringtones are making wild paper. Actual rap records… Not so much. I think we’ve crossed the threshold where you have to create a new song at all. You could just use something within the public domain like the zip coon song or some other nursery rhyme theme. The next thing you know every thirteen year old with a cell phone is letting their phone ring out so that you have to listen to their stupid ass ringtone.

I had a two-way pager when they were all the rage and I never downloaded any ringtones because that shit is for losers. I kept my pager on silent or I set to vibrate only. I leave all that cute shit to the ladies. There’s a war going on outside and nobody wants to hear your phone ring, unless you have that Swizz beats joints on your chirper. That shit is fire right there. Although I still say that only squares let their phone ring out for you to hear. It used to be a big deal having a mobile phone. I remember when people used to send coded messages to your numeric pager. Shit like 0-7-7-3-4, and then you would turn the pager upside around and the message would be ‘hello’. I never did that shit. I remember it, but I never did it. That shit was for chicks and squares.

It’s the same nonsense that fuels the market for polyphonic ringtones. Everybody that wants to be extra, to be different is subscribing to plans that issue them several new ringtones monthly. If record companies had any gotdamned sense they would have computer nerds sitting in their offices creating polyphonic ringtones for all of their most popular music. Not the current crop of bullshit, but a record companies entire catalog. Imagine if MCA or Sony or whoever it is that owns the masters to ‘Illmatic’ were to release a series of ringtones for the entire album. Island Records could do the same for Jay-Z’s ‘Reasonable Doubt’. Niggas masturbate to that shit they love it so much. In this way companies like Def Jam and Interscope and all the smaller labels that have been taking a golden shower on record sales would have another stream of income from shit they own that has already proven to be popular.

I’m not like Hustle Simmons or Steve Stoute in that when I come up with an idea that will serve the Hip-Hop community and all of mankind I don’t try to find a way to make money off of it. I’m not a nappy-headed ho. I’m just a dude who loves Hip-Hop and wants to have it available for my children’s children. So long as they don’t annoy me by having their cellphones ring out all day long with that bullshit.

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