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Live hip-hop sucks balls

One of the reasons I can’t be bothered to feel too sorry about the current state of affairs in hip-hop is that live hip-hop has always kinda sucked balls. Er, at least as long as I’ve been around. Nullus.

Best case scenario, you catch one of these package deals where it’s umpteen different artists over the course of a three hour event. For example, when I was in high school I caught Diddy’s No Way Out tour the summer after Biggie Smalls was assassinated, and the opening acts included the likes of Jay-Z circa Vol. 1, Foxy Brown and a young Usher, plus ’97-era Bad Boy bag handlers such as Black Rob and The Lox. Their mercifully brief sets would be over by the time you realized how shitty they were.

[A year or so later I caught Jay-Z again on the infamous Hard Knock Life tour. It wasn’t better per se, but at least it was a bit gullier.]

I bring all this up because this weekend there was a T.I. concert so bad people are actually considering legal action. I can’t imagine any T.I. concert being particularly good (the guy doesn’t rap so much as he talks, and I haven’t been too crazy about any of his albums), but apparently the issue here was that he only played for about a half an hour. Bomani Jones, who was there, says he only did two songs in their entirety, plus a medley of maybe six other songs.

According to a story in the Duke school newspaper The Chronicle (which looks a lot classier than the one we had at Josephine Baker State University), Tip couldn’t make it on time because he had an important dinner at P.F. Chang’s (which is decidedly not hip-hop – I bet they don’t even carry a surf and turf menu item) and I guess the set could only go on so long. Per the terms of his contract with the university, his set should have lasted at least 60 minutes.

In the kind of amusing detail I probably would’ve just made up anyway, a young black chick who drove six hours just to see T.I. was especially upset because she couldn’t get into opening act Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

Driving six hours from the University of West Georgia, junior Shaunte Cook was one of the many concertgoers who arrived late to Cameron Indoor Stadium Saturday night.

“I wasn’t very interested in ‘Satan Said Dance,'” Cook said, using her nickname for the opening indie rock act, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah.

Lollerskates!

You guys know Duke has had its share of race issues recently anyway, what with the lacrosse team being accused of gang-raping a black stripper college student. I was checking out the comments to the story on the T.I. show in the Duke paper, and those cracka-ass crackas are pissed. I wouldn’t be surprised if they throw the book at his ass, and in this case I can’t blame them. Nullus. If people are paying money to see these jigs put on a show, they should put on a motherfucking show.

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