The Saturday Night Olympics

Though it seems like forever, it was only a year ago today that I began blogging here at XXL. In the past year, I’ve written about 250 posts, which works out to about a post a day for every week day of the last year. I’m not sure how many words that would actually amount to, but I imagine it would be quite a few. This morning, I went through and put together this list of what I think are some of my finer moments here at XXL. Here’s hoping you have as much fun going over them as I did writing them.

1) Southerner’s, quit yer bitchin’ – As far as I’m concerned, this post remains the ne plus ultra of hip-hop blogging. (I realize that’s not saying a whole lot, but still.) In fact, more so than anything else, it was this post as well as the subsequent kerfuffle with Bun B, that put XXL on the map, as noted in this story on the Bun B incident that ran in the Houston Press a week or so later.

2) Is rap mysogynistic enough? – Similarly, as far as I’m concerned, this remains the final word on alleged misogyny in hip-hop. If black men are so hard on black women, how come black women are doing so well (career-wise, at least) while black men are struggling to keep our heads above water?

3) Minstrel show rap – I knocked out this post on one of those afternoons where I had to high tail it to the BGM and hence had hardly any time at all to work on it. If I had known it would take on such a life of its own, maybe I would’ve called in or something. Since last September, it’s been cited in stories in the New York Daily News and on a radio show with the likes of Jesse Jackson and New York Times music critic Kelefa Sanneh. It’s also been shamelessly ripped off by the likes of The Source and the Baltimore Sun.

4) Diamonds are a Jew’s best friend – I managed to work in a reference to Karate Kid II in this post about the connection between hip-hop and the conflict diamonds issue in light of the release of the Hollywood film Blood Diamond. In a subsequent post, I revealed how the DeBeers family, which runs the global diamond trade, was paying Russell Simmons to discredit the film.

5) It goes both ways – So much of the debate re: hip-hop in the past year or so has had to do with the cracka-ass cracka’s appropriation of hip-hop and especially the extent to which white cultural gatekeeper-types champion lesser forms of black music. But, as I pointed out in this post, It’s not like black people aren’t just as guilty of loving them some shitty white music.

6) Russell Simmons, OG in the Pimp Game – Perhaps no other hip-hop mogul has achieved as much while possessing seemingly so little in the way of actual talent as Russell Simmons. It’s been obvious to me since I was in college that Russell Simmons was the gulliest of the hip-hop moguls, but never was it more obvious than when it was revealed how he managed to string along Kimora Lee Simmons without so much letting her own her own clothing line. Russell Simmons is truly a leader in the fight for a man’s rights.

7) Gettin’ some AIDS – The connection between the AIDS epidemic in the black community, especially among young black women, and the nasty R&B music put forth by artists such as Cassie and Pretty Ricky seemed pretty obvious to me, but I’m not aware of any other media outlets explicityl drawing that connection. Hmm… In fact, as I revealed in another post here, Cassie’s hit single “Me and You” was secretly all about giving head. Nullus.

8) The Not So Wonderful World of Cease-A-Leo – One of my main regrets about my tenure with XXL so far is that I haven’t spent very much time covering the world of hip-hop DVDs. Part of it’s just that it’s not like I have a budget to go out and gather source material for these posts. For example, I only saw this Junior Mafia DVD because it happened to be available On Demand from my cable company that month.

9) Making it rain at Strokers (nullus) – Ages before Pacman Jones pulled his little stunt out in Las Vegas, and even a while, in fact, before Fat Joe released his hit single with Lil’ Wayne, I uncovered the phenomenon of hip-hop night at the strip club, including the now maligned practice of making it rain.

10) Lupe Fiasco, jihadist – Finally, how can I forget my little row with Lupe Fiasco. I think it actually began when I did a post about him bitching because his album had leaked, but it kicked into overdrive when he decided to use yours truly to generate publicity for his guest blogging stint here at XXL. A while later, I busted out this post exploring the Islamic fascist themes in his album Food and Liquor.

UPDATE: Ain’t no party like a Crazy Rey Party cuz a Crazy Rey Party don’t stop!

  • king blair

    my fav post was from your bsite about killing kanye moms and him being john legends gay lover an the asian kid smokin the cig classic

  • John Brown

    One year is a long time. Thats 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months. DAMN. But why did I have a feeling that the Lupe blog would be in your top 10, I thought maybe top 3.

  • Puerto-Black

    Keep up the good work and keep these “rappers” on there toes; but your still a damn fool saying Scarface AND Gaberilla Union(sp) were wack. How can u not like Scarface, The bad guys win, how do u not like a movie were the bad guy wins

  • crimerate

    I’m already looking forward to seeing whose panties you can get in a bunch this year. Keep up the good work.

  • http://xxl Puerto-Black

    Keep up the good work and keep these “rap” fans on there toes. O but your still a damn fool for saying Scarface AND Gabrealle Union were wack. How can u not like Scarface. The bad guys WIN, How do u not like a movie were the bad guy WINS.

  • DANJA29

    Yeah, I guess you did more good ones than bad ones… where have Rey and Transient gone?

  • Tyler

    Bol, ridin’ your own dick is not a good look dude. . I am glad U been around this long & I hope ‘dat U keep it going but take your dick outta’ your mouth. Peace&LOve
    peep tha’ heat:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • Fernando

    My favorite was the stoy of killing the dog with your car….classic

  • rec

    In no particular order:

    Southerner’s, quit yer bitchin’
    Minstrel show rap
    Lupe Fiasco, jihadist

    keep it up!

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >But why did I have a feeling that the Lupe blog would be in your top 10, I thought maybe top 3.

    Because of how true it is.

  • jacquez
  • thoreauly77

    forgot eskay used to be all up in the comments section having arguments!

    dont really know what to write here except that this blog has given me a lot of laughs over the past year.

    oh and where did the transient go? the blog didnt pan out? who cares?

  • Combat Jack

    Dude, I think the funniest shit you ever wrote was when you bodied that kid DeAndre Palmer on your own site back in 2005:

    http://www.byroncrawford.com/2005/04/deandre_palmer_.html

    Pure effin comedy. Just for kicks, I dialed his home number today and his moms answered and said dude moved out. You win for this one bol!

  • EReal

    Thickest skin in the industry, in more ways than one.
    For as much as Bol gets harrassed in the comments section, his blogs are actually discussable and even argumentitive. Tho they are filled with self-loathing, shock posts, and hatred against all things african american, they are still discussable.

    Bol is a conundrum in every sense of the word.

    Youve written some seriously funny shit, and some serious shit, but you always keep the comments section poppin. I have to give you all the credit in the world for taking the kind of not only critism, but the blind hatred spewed upon you by the XXLers.
    Keep doin what ya do, homie. I aint mad atcha.
    I figured once a year at least you deserve an atta’boy.

    Now back to our regularly scheduled Bol bashing.
    You fat lisphing retard. LMFAO.

    1 hunned.

  • these posts are racist

    –”busted out this post exploring the Islamic fascist themes in his album Food and Liquor.”

    You did not explore anything in your post. Moreover, you don’t know what Islam is to even discuss it. You are, simply, an inflamatory racist. Sadly, you are content with being such.

  • John Cochran

    you rpost usually walk the thin line of being extremely ignorant or extremely thought provoking. You got such a crazy stlye of writing, I”m suprised they dotn let you write in the book. You’d probably be good as one of those panelists on one of those MTV shows, like top 10 Mc os some shit. You’d probably have great opinions but I doubt they’d actually put you on tv, you looking like a black ass garfield and all.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >where have Rey and Transient gone?

    Check the update to this post.

  • these posts are racist

    –”Because of how true it is.”

    BOL-

    You are such a wankster, fake intellectual. “true”? “true”? What’s true? What did you say that is true? Nothing you said about Lupe Fiasco or Islam is true, nothing.

    You are a bigot.

  • BIZNESS

    HAHA Rey is a Sofa King tub o lard!

  • Cuban Link

    >>UPDATE: Ain’t no party like a Crazy Rey Party cuz a Crazy Rey Party don’t stop!

    ^Bol, ur my idol.No Xzibit Presents…Coming Full Circle being everywhere I Fucking go.Co-sign with Fernando

  • Cuban Link
  • Dr Flav

    Congrats on the anniversary. I must say if ever a blog I was hotter than fishgrease about, it was the southerners quit yer bitchin, that one put you on the map. Minstrel show rap bought out good debate from me also. You get the computers putin, no lie, it took me a sec to get it though. Stop tryin to copy Billy and maybe Elliot will reach in his Puma jacket and give you your balls back! Neon pink water gun totin ass sucka!

  • Meka Soul

    > As far as strip clubs go, I’d imagine they’re fairly mediocre. I know one of the black clubs, a place called the Pink Slip, at one point had a chick with one arm working there.

    Shorty had a hellafied ass though. That’s all the brothers really care about.>

    LMAO.

  • SukedowN

    >>UPDATE: Ain’t no party like a Crazy Rey Party cuz a Crazy Rey Party don’t stop!

    It’s true there ain’t no party like a Crazy Rey Party; thankfully.

    No George Alan O’Dowd.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Took you long enough, Ash. If you’re real nice, I’ll send you an autographed copy. Nullus. UNO!

  • Meka Soul

    welcome back rey.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    …or am I supposed be all ‘OH MAN, BOL GOT ME AGAIN! COLOR ME ETHERED!’? Please. Thank for the free publicity, Ashlee. My regards to where your neck should be.

  • Fernando

    Damn,

    Return of the mexican sloth! I thought you were dead! Now all we need is Transient to son Bol a new one (No Nbred)

    I also enjoyed your posts about hunting down Avril Lavigne and murking that little slut. That new song is intolerable.

  • Fernando

    Looks like YN decided to pay some Asian nerd to spruce up the ol’ blog site for the 1 year B-Day. Maybe he could have payed somebody to get the comments to post right away TOO!!!

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    What up, Meka? I didn’t know I ranked up there with Rush and Lupe. Sheeit.

  • Jones

    Bol, even though I sometimes don’t agree with the things you write, I really enjoy reading them because you usually make INFORMED statements with an interesting viewpoint or insight and aren’t afraid to hold back what you think. Congrats on 1st year, go after even more people in the 2nd.

  • Meka Soul

    this new look is better. they’ve even gotten rid of that rich boy/gollum w/a fur coat & tattoos ad.

    pause.

  • THAT_BOY_NOAH

    damn its been a year??? bol is a foo for putting that rey update.i was wonderin what happened to him.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Does this mean the comments section is back working?

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Fern– I’m a puerto rican and cuban sloth.

  • thoreauly77

    is it back working (typing this as a test)?

  • NIKE

    I still think you need to be fired by XXL for not having yet listened to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. Seriously what kind of music critic hastened listened to one of the best albums of the last decade.

  • Cuban Link

    Rey Says:

    March 13th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
    Fern– I’m a puerto rican and cuban sloth.

    ^^Swagger Jacker…

    And I must say I dig the new layout.Mucho sostiene

  • Cuban Link
  • FUCK Cuban Link Pt.II

    and Bol, what up dunn?Ur little icon thing isnt just on top now, but its bigger than everyone elses!Ur going places my son!(no Return of Rey!)

  • E AKA THE REAL NORIEAGA

    These were some good posts all though your review of Jim Jones first album and your post about killing a dog were acts of pure comedic genious(no carrot top)Its amazing how you can write things that can be insightful and intelligent and ignorant and racist within the same blog.

  • FUCK Cuban Link Pt.II

    STOP FUCKING CHANING MY NAME TO FUCK Cuban Link Pt.II!FUCK YOU AMERICA FUCK YOU!!!!

  • yung ceasa

    im feelin tha new layout its…….okay

  • EnglandRepresent

    Bol, hilarity is a fair summation of your blogging efforts. Fuckers need to learn to take your blogs with a pinch of salt. You’re wrong for puttin up that shit about Rey though!! Let that dude live….(obligatory no homo)

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Don’t forget, i invented the term “Nbred”…

  • LONZO

    Oh fukin snap nigga!!!!!! Congrats BOL, u make school and work go a lil faster, cuz the shit be boring sometimes……and REY should pay u for the ad u gave him….
    REY, u should pay BOL with tacos from tacobell or sum shit.

  • stoneyisland

    I guess a degree from a community college can get you some where. Keep on keeping on Bol, however this year try to stay off of Jay-Z’s dick.

  • Hurricane Game

    OO Fuck ol Mexican Reys Back. Now all we need is SUPERGAY O I Mean Superman and Tran(sexual). No Homo.

  • Hannah Smith

    Bol – the boy can blog.

  • mannyworld33

    TOILET BOL!

    BESIDES UR UPDATES ON THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW UR BLOG IS STR8. SHIT KEEPS ME LAUGHIN’ AND GIVES ME SUMTHIN’ TO DO @ WORK(besides work lmao)

  • EReal

    Rey Says:

    March 13th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
    Thank for the free publicity, Ashlee. My regards to where your neck should be.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    LMFAAAOOOO!!!! Classic Rey.

  • Panhco

    Bol…

    Intelligent, insightful, sarcastic…

    AT THE SAME TIME…

    Ignorant, racist, hater, fake…

    At least all of this leads to these 2 things: someone we can all bash religiously and he keeps them comments coming.

    (though I must say…you proclaiming Jim Jones as the King of New York…get the FUCK out of here with that BS…lol).

  • Pancho

    Bol…

    Intelligent, insightful, sarcastic…

    AT THE SAME TIME…

    Ignorant, racist, hater, fake…

    At least all of this leads to these 2 things: someone we can all bash religiously and he keeps them comments coming.

    (though I must say…you proclaiming Jim Jones as the King of New York…get the FUCK out of here with that BS…lol).

  • ESL Representa

    Rey whatever free pub your gonna get will go to shit once people actually hear this shit its terrible.

    wheres transient?
    Countdown to n-bred somehow tying this post to lil wayne

  • daesonesb

    im sayin that this new layout is way better.

    Transient started talking about how he was about to have some kinda scheme — one that would bring him all this attention — and then pormptly dissapeared from this site.

    Makes me wonder what the fuck he could be doing…

  • Young Stunna

    your best post was “JAY-Z lost again” & “jim= new king of new york”.

  • yaboy

    hey rey, kick rocks!

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    my ears have jus’ shrivelled up and died in horror afta hearin’ “crazy rey party” and “my brother’s keeper”

    no, i’m jokin’ – ’cause whut da world definately needs right now is a fat disgusting spic slob version of g child from da white rapper show

    man, u fuckin’ suck at rappin’..u look like a chunk of lard carved into da shape of an obese sweaty spic faggot with droopy racoon eyes

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    u still a faggit ass nigga, bol

    bring back dj drama!

  • http://dahshyt.blogspot.com Belize

    Rey…waz good playa..smoke sum’

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    Shouldn’t all of you guys (including Bol) be at a comic book convention?

    Just a thought…

    Juuusstt a thought….

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    Hannah Smith Says:

    March 14th, 2007 at 4:18 am
    Bol – the boy can blog.

    ^^^^^^

    Hannah – the girl can hate.

  • j

    aint no party like a crazy rey party. duh damn that kids so ill on the mic bol. you know heslike a jay z slah nas with puffy ad libs. awww shiiit the game gon change so watch out gangstas, bitches, hos, hustlers, and keillers cause crazy rey comin out the upper class neighborhood of brentwood long island to drop the most thoughtless rhymes you ever heard. nullus to this entire post. DOS. yall dont hear rey yall listen to him… lemme know when you hear him.

  • Pancho

    HANNAH SMITH says:
    “Bol – the boy can blog”

    ^^^^^^^^^

    Hannah- the girl can eat! Seriously…I hear she can compete with Kobayashi…fit 50 hot dogs in her belly pretty quick!

  • CUBAN FUCKING LINK

    mannyworld33 Says:

    March 14th, 2007 at 8:04 am
    TOILET BOL!

    BESIDES UR UPDATES ON THE WHITE RAPPER SHOW UR BLOG IS STR8. SHIT KEEPS ME LAUGHIN’ AND GIVES ME SUMTHIN’ TO DO @ WORK(besides work lmao)

    ^^^Fuck you son I lived on those White Rapper Show updates!

  • EReal

    Hannah Smith Says:

    March 14th, 2007 at 4:18 am
    Bol – the boy can blog.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    Im convinced this bitch is a fagg hagg.

    Hannah – the bitch is fat.

  • CL

    Overall I like your columns but I have to say The Source ain’t ‘stole’ your remark about Minstrel Show Rap because
    in 2005 a group called Little Brother released the record Minstel Show which recieved a 4,5 mic reward from The Source, and in the booklet of the CD it’s written what Minstrel Show is all about etc.

  • Trife God

    Holy crap its like a big family reunion up in this piece.