March Madness is the first sign that springtime is coming and that means the days will be getting longer and the skirts will be getting shorter. It also means that Lil’ Wayne will be kissing Baby on the lips wearing a wife beater instead of a hoody. Yep, it’s spring again. I know that some of you are tired of my sports to rap music comparisons, but did you know that one of my biggest detractors has decided to create his own blog using these conventions? XXLMAG dot com comments section veteran Belize is now a full fledged blogger…
I’m going to take his drop as a sign of flattery and keep my eye on all these young bloggers on the come up. This is a good omen for Hip-Hop when so many fans not only learn to read, but love to write. Maybe one day we’ll all have blogs and just use them to hurl profanities at each other and swap downloaded music.
With the NCAA’s Final Four tournament tipping off today I thought I’d take a moment to look at which rappers exemplify the determination and earnestness that is needed to excel in Hip-Hop. You already know the drill for these drops so let’s get into it…
Fifty Cent – Southern Cal Trojans (nullus)
Fifty is so Hollywood always grimacing for the camera. All the older white people get scared. The money just keeps rolling in. Fifty hasn’t been to the Final Four in a minute, but he’s always a threat to go on a streak. USC isn’t the best PAC-10 school in the tourney, but they have a shot at glory if they can get past college basketball’s number one baller, Kevin Durant.
Devin the Dude – Texas Longhorns
What if Devin The Dude was the greatest rapper this year but no one recognized him because he played in the Midwest region? Devin is killing shit right now just like your boy Kevin Durant. I predict top three in the NBA’s first round draft in July. Go copp that Dude album on Tuesday.
Lil’ Wayne – North Carolina Tarheels
Despite all the hype this number one seed will be going home early to kiss their daddy. The one thing I can say about Wayne is that of all the rappers with Lil’ in their name he is the best, and he may have even kissed more men in the mouth than Lil’ Kim so I suppose that counts for something.
Shamrock = Butler Bulldogs
Shamrock looks like a pug with his clef palate and he is also the little white boy that could in the surprising way the he won the (white) Rapper Show.
Ghostface = Ohio State Buckeyes
Everybody respects Ghostface game, but no one truly believes he deserves to be in the championship. Ghost is tough on the boards too by using classic soul samples to drop some of his hardest lyrics on.
Sean Price = Georgetown Hoyas
John Thompson Jr.’s Hoyas are straight up hardbody, just like Sean P
Cam’Ron = Kansas JayHawks
Nobody expects Kansas to make much noise in this tournament but I think they will surprise everyone. No one expects Cam’Ron to be on top of the rap game but he beats everyone that he goes up against. Here’s the thing about Cam’ron… He may never be considered the best rapper, but you can remember the disses he has made to people. Jay-Z = chancletas, Fifty Cent = Cuuuuuurtis. Kansas = Danny Manning
T.I. = Florida Gators
Destined to be the champ two years in a row. When T.I. drops his album later this year in conjunction with whatever movie project he is working on the rap game will be shut down. My advice to everybody else is to take your shot now before T.I. gets his hands on the rock. After that it will be game over. My apologies to Lil’ Flip.