Yesterday one of my colleauges here at xxlmag.com put up a post that defined the term “bitchmade” as any guy that was raised by a single mom and/or grandmoms, without a male figure present. “It’s easy to spot bitchmade dudes in the comments section,” Billy Sunday writes, “because they are the types of people that have a hard time accepting truth without emotion.” He adds: “It’s not their fault either but they were taught how to frame their communications in the style of a woman.” He goes on to characterize single mothers as being “loose” and “desperate” when it comes to money, and being willing to do pretty much anything to make a quick dollar. Hence, he reasons, their kids grow up to be rappers that are willing to spit straight garbage for a little bit of paper.
Now, normally I’m a big fan of Mr. Sunday’s writing, but obviously I’m not about to let this one slide. I’m not sure how the demise of hip-hop, which is a 99.999% male subculture, can be blamed on women–and the same women that have busted their buts to raise a good lot of you, no less.
First of all, the whole concept of “bitchmade” is just plain wrong. It basically serves as a sweeping condemnation of all single moms trying to raise young men. These women find themselves in a situation where they’re forced to shoulder alone financial and emotional responsibilities that should be shared. They break their backs at (often low-paying) jobs to put food on the table for kids they love more than anything else in the world. They sacrifice hobbies, interests, and a social life to be around for those kids. And then society tells them that no matter how hard they try, their boys are destined to be incomplete human beings. It’s a pretty disheartening scenario.
Second, the term “bitchmade” kinda lets deadbeat daddies off the hook, don’t you think? Instead of pissing all over the women that stick around, shouldn’t the animosity be directed at the jerks that take off?
Lastly, equating hotheaded modes of communication with females is a bit of a stretch. Let’s be honest here, dudes more than pull their weight on this front. (Please see the last 30 years of hip-hop history for examples.)
I think we can all agree that young boys need their fathers. But if your father decides to bounce, does that automatically mean you’re emotionally scarred for life? I think not.