I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I’m kind of happy for Jay-Z
that he has partnered up with Coke to sell their disgusting fake
cherry soda to jig babies. Lord knows that four out of five dentists
could use the work in the near future.
The real reason I’m happy is that Jay-Z can finally stop lying about
selling Coke. Albeit, this Coke can’t get you sent to prison for
several decades, but at least it has the word Coke in it. I found it
terribly inconsistent that Jay-Z gave people the image of a
transitioned former kingpin when everybody that ever touched real dirt
knows that the Feds don’t allow celebrities on the streets. If your
name ever rang a bell to the jakes then you had to have served a Fed
clip. Real talk. There was never any getting out of the game for the
All-Stars. A mule might get away scot free, but not with any paper,
and definitely not with any dignity. More real talk.
So many rap fans live a life that has no respect for the journey that
people take into adulthood. They think that money is the end all be
all, and whatever you do to attain some is validated by the materials
you purchase. I too know what it is to grow up poor myself. I had a
paper route until I was fourteen that I wish I had at this moment. I
won’t knock Jay-Z’s rags to riches hustle, but I will question his
methods. The recent move to eff with Budweiser was suspect since he
has always promoted a ‘Money Ain’t A Thang’ champagne and caviar
lifestyle. The same goes for the GM promotion for a vehicle that is
obviously several steps down from a Maybach. Jay-Z was running the
risk of ruining a brand that in ten years had come to define the
highest level of conspicuous consumption.
Now that Jay-Z has gotten his act together and saddled up next to a
product that fits his character at least in name maybe he can let
Bubba Sparkxx or St. Louis resident Nelly eff with the Anheuser-Busch
brand since they seem more connected to that crap than he is. This
also made me think about what products would make for smart marketing
synergy with other popular rappers.
Lil’ Kim and Lee Press-On Nails – Every year Lil’ Kim keeps adding
more plastic to her body in the race to outweird Michael Jackson.
What if Kim partnered up with the classic do-it-yourself manicure set
for a whole new line of crazy day glo fingernail products. While Kim
is working this deal she should also try to get herself a line of hair
extending products too. You can never have enough blonde weave is a
direct quote from BeYonce.
Snoop Dogg Collars and Biscuits – For adults and really large pets.
Ghostface and Mrs.Gorton’s Fish Sticks – Can it all be so simple?
Jibbs Speak and Spell – MC Jibbs teaches your three year old the
English language using his own limited vocabulary and pronunciation
Lil’ Wayne Lip Gloss – When you want to slip your daddy a lil’ tongue
on his lips.
Common Sense Macrame and Needle Point Kit – For knitting your own
scarves, pants and hats. Using 100% hemp thread.
You pretty much get the point that I’m trying to make. I don’t
consider you to be a sell out when the products that you promote were
always part of the character that you presented to me and the rest of
the rap fans out here. At least that way I might start to believe
what you say when you make a record, as opposed to thinking that you
are trying to sell me a mythical lifestyle that you don’t even live.