You buy or get out!
I’ve been watching these MTV reality series for literally most of my life now, but I’m usually pretty tired on Sunday nights. If I’m gonna stay up for something, it had better be “Deadwood” or “The Wire.”
So I ended up missing the series premiere of “I’m from Rolling Stone.” Then I read several reviews that all said the shit wasn’t very good anyway. And hardly anyone was watching it, so who knows how long it would stay on air.
But then I kept getting emails from people like, Yo, Bol, you need to check out this show ‘I’m from Rolling Stone’ and do a story on it. They’ve got this insane Asian broad on there that’s talking mad shit. We need you to go in!
What was I gonna do?
I mean, on the one hand, it’s odd to say the least that so many people would call on me to conduct a hit on a female cast member of an MTV reality series, as if that’s all that I’m good for. But, then, I’m sure there were times when Batman didn’t want to go work either.
So I ended up checking out “I’m from Rolling Stone.” Honestly, I didn’t find it half that bad, though I suppose I’m predisposed to enjoy that sort of thing. (Nullus.) I did a story on it for this site, which included the following bit re: Krishtine.
I don’t dine on Chinese in general, but she does seem like the kind of broad that fucks a lot of black dudes, which is of course what I look for in a woman. The rather extreme pancake face, meanwhile? Not so much.
Admittedly, that was a pretty low blow, even by my own standards. I mean, it’s not like I even know this broad. By all accounts, she’s an awful person and a miserable writer, but still. I might need to go to the same rehab as Isaiah Washington.
I figured she might read my story and be understandably non-plussed, but it’s not like she hasn’t already received so much criticism elsewhere. Here’s the thing though: I think I may have struck a chord with the shit about fucking a lot of black dudes.
Yesterday, she posted a rather lengthy, ridonkulous diatribe on her blog firing back at anyone and everyone who’s criticized her behavior on the series so far. As it turns out, they’re all either racist, or sexist, or whatever particular -ist that applies per individual.
Yours truly had the unique pleasure of being the only hater mentioned by name. Really, you’re going to want to read the whole thing (it’s sooo ridiculous – more on it here), but here’s the part with my name in it.
(That goes to you too, Bol. Remind me to throw a glass of expensive wine in your face when you finally meet me. I think I’ll be doing womankind a small, but necessary, justice. Keep making references to my sexuality and I’ll make it my personal obligation to put you on a much-needed diet and eat off your plate. And you know my clips in XXL come up when you google me, so it’s not a far-fetched promise)
Which is weird because a) The two of us are going to meet?, b) It’s okay to threaten people with violence like that (I thought Islam = peace)?, and c) It’s not like she said for a fact that she doesn’t fuck a lot of black dudes. I mean, she went to such lengths to explain her decision to wear gold teeth in the office…
What she’s referring to as “my clips in XXL,” by the way, refers to a web-only QnA with Too Short. Her threat to eat off my plate I took to mean that she’s had some sort of physical relationship with one of the male employees here (Elliott, you dirty dog!) and is going to try to use that to have me fired.
Obviously she’s never heard of the sacred law of bros before hoes.