You buy or get out!

I’ve been watching these MTV reality series for literally most of my life now, but I’m usually pretty tired on Sunday nights. If I’m gonna stay up for something, it had better be “Deadwood” or “The Wire.”

So I ended up missing the series premiere of “I’m from Rolling Stone.” Then I read several reviews that all said the shit wasn’t very good anyway. And hardly anyone was watching it, so who knows how long it would stay on air.

But then I kept getting emails from people like, Yo, Bol, you need to check out this show ‘I’m from Rolling Stone’ and do a story on it. They’ve got this insane Asian broad on there that’s talking mad shit. We need you to go in!

What was I gonna do?

I mean, on the one hand, it’s odd to say the least that so many people would call on me to conduct a hit on a female cast member of an MTV reality series, as if that’s all that I’m good for. But, then, I’m sure there were times when Batman didn’t want to go work either.

So I ended up checking out “I’m from Rolling Stone.” Honestly, I didn’t find it half that bad, though I suppose I’m predisposed to enjoy that sort of thing. (Nullus.) I did a story on it for this site, which included the following bit re: Krishtine.

I don’t dine on Chinese in general, but she does seem like the kind of broad that fucks a lot of black dudes, which is of course what I look for in a woman. The rather extreme pancake face, meanwhile? Not so much.

Admittedly, that was a pretty low blow, even by my own standards. I mean, it’s not like I even know this broad. By all accounts, she’s an awful person and a miserable writer, but still. I might need to go to the same rehab as Isaiah Washington.

I figured she might read my story and be understandably non-plussed, but it’s not like she hasn’t already received so much criticism elsewhere. Here’s the thing though: I think I may have struck a chord with the shit about fucking a lot of black dudes.

Yesterday, she posted a rather lengthy, ridonkulous diatribe on her blog firing back at anyone and everyone who’s criticized her behavior on the series so far. As it turns out, they’re all either racist, or sexist, or whatever particular -ist that applies per individual.

Yours truly had the unique pleasure of being the only hater mentioned by name. Really, you’re going to want to read the whole thing (it’s sooo ridiculous – more on it here), but here’s the part with my name in it.

(That goes to you too, Bol. Remind me to throw a glass of expensive wine in your face when you finally meet me. I think I’ll be doing womankind a small, but necessary, justice. Keep making references to my sexuality and I’ll make it my personal obligation to put you on a much-needed diet and eat off your plate. And you know my clips in XXL come up when you google me, so it’s not a far-fetched promise)

Which is weird because a) The two of us are going to meet?, b) It’s okay to threaten people with violence like that (I thought Islam = peace)?, and c) It’s not like she said for a fact that she doesn’t fuck a lot of black dudes. I mean, she went to such lengths to explain her decision to wear gold teeth in the office…

What she’s referring to as “my clips in XXL,” by the way, refers to a web-only QnA with Too Short. Her threat to eat off my plate I took to mean that she’s had some sort of physical relationship with one of the male employees here (Elliott, you dirty dog!) and is going to try to use that to have me fired.

Obviously she’s never heard of the sacred law of bros before hoes.

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    Bol …

    “I feel sawwy fo’ yo’ mudda”

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Someone has a crush! Congrats, Ash. I’m sure you two will be very happy together. Just break the news to Akuma gently. He thought you guys had a real chance. In any event, this was the best post you’ve had in a while. Altho the pokemon bit was mildly amusing. Keep up the average-at-best work, Ashlee!

  • THAT_BOY_NOAH

    HAHA! THE SACRED LAW BROS BEFORE HO’S!!

  • mannyworld33

    TOILET BOL!

    YOU SHOULD ONLY DO REVIEWS FOR THOSE CORNY ASS SHOWS ON YOUR BLOG!
    COME WITH SUMTHIN’ ELSE OVA’ HERE!

    STILL LAUGHIN’ @ EXTREME PANCAKE FACE!

  • DocZeus

    Bol, what is it about people that take you seriously and fly off the handle? You seem to be the least serious blogger in history of the craft and yet people fly off the handle as if you raped there grandmother? Props, my man. Props.

  • Fernando

    Im suprised she didnt get angrier at the “pancake face reference”.

    BTW…How many people read your trash Bol?? Damn. You got little MTV reality hoes going nuts. You know she is just an angry little mud-duck freak in the sheets who gets mad when people call her out. Something about little rice-harvesting females acting hard just doesnt sit right with me. Arent they supposed to be all docile & sh*t??? Where is the gold teeth & internet threats coming from?

    Ether that Pancake Bol…..Go as low as you need (no superhead)

  • rtb

    best title for a blog ever!

  • jacquez
  • Combat Jack

    The title of this post alone is hillarious!

  • 123

    LMAO… Fuck chinks!

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Does this mean the comments here actually work?

    *hopes he didn’t just jinx it*

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    Fuck, I should’ve known better.

  • ThingAlec

    Hell yeah Deadwood is the shit.

  • LONZO

    the fukin title had me crackin up. good one Bol….and also quit reviewin stupid reality shows damnit. that shit is not cool. I know u have to review the white rapper show cuz faggot YN makes you, but damn keep this shit hip hop or somewhat near it. wat the fuk does rollin stone have to do with hip hop???

  • Combat Jack

    ^ “I know u have to review the white rapper show cuz faggot YN makes you”

    Dayum!

  • E AKA THE REAL NORIEAGA

    Damn Bol maybe your internet celeb status can finnally get you to tap a white girl from a mtv show(or just any female in general)

  • yung ceasa

    a yo bol that new dude sunday is about 2 take yo spot as best blogger. and i have one word 2 say on that behalf………haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Meka Soul

    if anything, bol would probably have “expensive wine” [boon's farm? wine in a box?] poured on him while during an eggroll & lo mein-fueled tryst with ol’ girl, what with bay area residents being drugged out their minds on ectasy half the time.

    no jim jones man-purse.

    * still LMAO at pikachu vs team rocket, though *

  • Incilin

    Yeah Bol, your just like Batman.

  • Meka Soul

    waitaminute… i just seen the trailer for this bullshit… tika’s a female?

    i quit.

  • RawTune

    wheres my comment at?

  • EReal

    Dayum, Pancake called you out by name Bol. Obviously you think very highly of yourself and are quite satisfied by this. You probably got a half chub reading her response.(No Deadlee)
    I mean damn, this whole post is just you leading up to telling us some pancake face reality show chink called you out.
    Rey seen it man.

    Lets see if your posts can get anymore pointless and shitty.

    1 hunned.

  • EReal

    I feel sorry for your mother.

  • EReal

    http://WWW.ASIAFOLKS.COM ^^^^^

    LMFAOOO!

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Fuck her Bol…

    She’s just using that show to get closer to E-40′s “Lil Jon” and his “Ying Yang Twins” *yadadamean!

    She’s looking for the “Black Man’s Duck Sauce”…

    No San Fransisco

    Hey, just imagine how funny it’s gonna be when her mother tries to make fun of u by saying “Free Willy”…

    LMAO

    *(c)Keak Da Sneak

  • content

    good shit Bol. The last two days have been much better than your recent work as a whole.

    In Sick’s loss to the oreo sprots writer he tried to go below the belt while she just hit’em over the head with some knowledge. But this little bitch tried to stoop to your level and you know ain’t nobody gonna beat you at that game.

    Good work.

  • http://www.myspace.com/belizeanbway Belize

    >Obviously she’s never heard of the sacred law of bros before hoes.

    >AYE! Good comeback…

    Ya know..iv never fukd an asian chick…when she gives it up, u should write a review about it..after all, most chicks try to hide lust with anger..maybe she wants ur body Bol..uhhh…no Carmen

  • J.R.O.

    “That goes to you too, Bol. Remind me to throw a glass of expensive wine in your face when you finally meet me.”

    LOL

    Damn, Bol. I guess some of the hatin’ is finally payin’ off. “Hurry up and buy!” Nah, I’m playin’. That’s cold.

  • derfla the hus’la

    dude this shitty beef of yours is funny… and the title is funny as hell but whats realy funny is the way you’re trying to diss the show now and justifieng yourself to why you watch that shit but now I hope you learnt your lesson bol stick to reviewing hiphop.

  • mannyworld33

    JIN GON’ DO A SONG ABOUT BOL NEXT!

    GONNA’ BE CALLED “TRAPPED IN THA’ BASEMENT” FT. R.KELLY

    BASEMENT….BASEMENT……BASEMENT

  • Tyler

    Bol, don’t even sweat that hoebitch cause out here in tha’ streets the real niggas(fuck Kramer)got your back playboy & we are down 2 run a hard hittin’ gangbang on ‘dat gook chic anytime, anywhere. I haven’t peep’d this show as of yet but they should be thanking you because your post on the show have made me want 2 give that MTV garbage the once over 2 see what’s really up wit it.
    Why does everyone hate U so much BOL? I am far 2 secure in my manhood 2 get all bent outta’ shape like these people you seem 2 upset on the daily. I find U 2 be a very amusing fat fuck wit’ all due respect.
    And Yo bro’ when are U going 2 man up and post on “LooseChange” 9/11? In light of how Bush has been gettin’ our people killed I think now would be a good time 2 revist just what we really went 2 War 4 in the 1st place, don’t U agree? Peep the heat at:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • thoreauly77

    holy crap, i just read her blog; delusions of grandeur anyone? her point about being the ediror of her own publication is decent, and i applaud her, but her air of self-importance is very obnoxious.

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    Tyler Says:

    January 25th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
    Bol, don’t even sweat that hoebitch cause out here in tha’ streets the real niggas(fuck Kramer)got your back

    ^^^^^^^^^^^
    While I respect your Effin’ Opinion, I highly doubt that “real niggas in tha streets got Bol’s back”.

    He don’t even rep for real niggas in the streets, you can tell by his blogs, that why he gets all the hate.

    Real niggas in tha’ streets will pro’lly cut bacon off Bol’s back!

  • Combat Jack

    ^”While I respect your Effin’ Opinion, I highly doubt that “real niggas in tha streets got Bol’s back”.

    No homo, but bol gets a “pass” from me whenever he rolls through B.K. You know, bros b4 hoes.

    Nullus again.

  • Flip

    LMAO!!!

  • Ali

    (I thought Islam = peace)?,

    Another shot at Islam i’m sure you’re proud of yourself Bol, Lupe really did get to you.

  • Fernando

    Shut up Chemical Ali. Dont you have a vest to strap on or something?

  • let the game begin

    Fernando Says:

    January 25th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
    Shut up Chemical Ali. Dont you have a vest to strap on or something?
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    LOL

  • DRR

    grillz & big ass egos are ok for even wack rappers. They aren’t for even the best “journalists”.

    She keeps repping the “Ghetto” does anyone know what “hood” this spoiled pinay princess is from anyway?

  • booty doo

    http://www.xxlmag.com/?p=7094

    oh and she raps too in case you didn’t know. and i use the term “raps” lightly, very, very, very lightly.

  • crimerate

    Hilarious post.

  • Nina Parks

    First off I need to address Fernando’s comment:

    “Im suprised she didnt get angrier at the “pancake face reference”.

    BTW…How many people read your trash Bol?? Damn. You got little MTV reality hoes going nuts. You know she is just an angry little mud-duck freak in the sheets who gets mad when people call her out. Something about little rice-harvesting females acting hard just doesnt sit right with me. Arent they supposed to be all docile & sh*t??? Where is the gold teeth & internet threats coming from?

    Ether that Pancake Bol…..Go as low as you need (no superhead)”

    There is no need to go off the deep end for childish racial slurs that come from the mouths or in this case finger tips for colonized brown men working for the white man.

    Next I need to address that the whole “rice-havesting” docil female comment in definately gonna be adressed and since you felt the need to say it I damn sure feel the need to address it.

    Naw, Mutha Fucka I relate to that group that you are refering to and what I have now come to realize is that the only dumb asses that would say things like that are ones that are uncomfortable with their own masculity.

    Lastly Mr. Bol. This is why you’re the blogger and she’s the journalist. All you have is your opinion and she collects the facts. And continue the research it’s not just the Too $hort interview.
    (To all the haters: My motivation on writing all this is genuine. She is a Filipina journalist hustling hard, and providing a service for Bay Area artist that no one is doing, and that is writing factual articles in publication that are read world wide, lacing folks on game that they would other wise know nothing about. She’s bring new game to the table. And is a good strong brown female role model.)

    But as far as the show goes,I do agree that the show is too short at 30 min and the editing could stand to be 50 times better.

  • ESL Representa

    Fernando that was Just Wrong……Funny as shit but wrong but funny

  • http://www.myspace.com/poisonousdarthfc Poisonous Dart

    Bryon Crawford=Ignorance at it’s best (worst).

    If she’s an editor of a magazine than why couldn’t she get at you better with the written word? It’s not like you can write that well or anything.

    Either way, if your gonna clown Bol or slap the shit out of him for making racist statements towards Asians or insensitive statements toward women in general don’t warn him or tell him! Just Do It…some times it doesn’t pay to talk about it, just be about it.

    One.

  • thatwhitedude

    dayum you went too hard on her, specially with the post title lmao! you ethered her ugly ass! that show was garbage with garbage fake journalists…

  • Trife Da SoulRipper

    Bol, your at your best when in blogging beef, I still remember that other asian dude who called himself O-Dub, put that ether down. LOL this ish reminds me of the old days from your real website.

  • GuNNz

    really.. fuck this bullshit already… i used to like your post too, but you’ve been posting about some wackass shit…

  • J S-O-T

    lol Bol u crazy lol, some funny shit

  • weezybaby

    bol a funny nigga lol

  • mo’ green

    haha i hate bol but he shitted on her

  • blaQ

    i admit…decent and funny post Bol. But the racist sh&t is not cool. gte some therapy Bol.

  • My Effin’ Opinion

    Combat Jack Says:

    January 25th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
    ^”While I respect your Effin’ Opinion, I highly doubt that “real niggas in tha streets got Bol’s back”.

    No homo, but bol gets a “pass” from me whenever he rolls through B.K. You know, bros b4 hoes.

    ^^^^^^
    He might get a “pass” but if he rolled thru BKLYN and got snuffed by the hardrocks for some of the stupid shit he says, would you “knuckle up” for him???

    just askin’…

  • they r

    filipinos are asian! hahahahaha

  • HuRrIcAnE BiTcHeS

    Yo Bol..I need to ask u a LIFE OR DEATH question..

  • ill will

    if this turns into a blog war that shit is so gay

  • Hurricane Game

    LMFAO. Bol always gets Ethered by Famous people.
    List of people Bols pissed Off.
    Pimp C
    Bun B
    Lupe Fiasco
    Jay-Z
    Angry Asian.
    PS. Bol Even used to dislike the CAPO STATUS.
    On his website he reveiwed On My Way To Church.
    Read that shit.
    Funny as Michael Jackson in a Primary School.

  • thatdukeSuave

    mannyworld33 Says:

    January 25th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
    JIN GON’ DO A SONG ABOUT BOL NEXT!

    GONNA’ BE CALLED “TRAPPED IN THA’ BASEMENT” FT. R.KELLY

    BASEMENT….BASEMENT……BASEMENT
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    funny shit!
    Bol, this some funny shit dude. I checked her blog and while there ain’t no way in hell i’m gon watch her show, i gotta admit, she was snappin on folks! You gotta hit that shit though, for real don’t play, just grudge fuck the hell out of her!

  • Combat Jack

    ^ “He might get a “pass” but if he rolled thru BKLYN and got snuffed by the hardrocks for some of the stupid shit he says, would you “knuckle up” for him???

    just askin’…’

    That’s some imaginary fantasy scenario right there. The kid CJ don’t EVER get into no playground juvenile scuffle type shit. Remember, I’m grown man status, scrap. That’s like niggas swingin on and chasin Jay Z out the Rucker Park, summer of ’07 – WON’T HAPPEN! Plus, last time I saw bol in BK, nigga was like 6’5″, 350 pounds! I ain’t see too many cats run up on big dudes like that.

  • avalanche guy

    bol you are a bastard

  • garbage

    Bunch of dumbass bitches!!! All of you claim to be in the streets and are writing feedbacks to Bols blog, shut the fuck up wankstas!!!

  • amedawg00

    Bol’s title’s to his post are becoming stuff of legend….he puts more thought into those titles than the entire post and still kills it…

  • traebizzo

    Powers Fadeing….starting to …like Bols columns. ARRGh

  • http://www.xxlmag.com/?cat=29 noz

    So is it too soon to pitch my Byron Crawford/Khristine de Leon reality series to VH1? I’m picturing an awkward celebrity lovers reality affair in the Strange Love/My Fair Brady mold. Except with a street edge. You know, because she has gold teeth.

    Elliott – hit me with a Viacom contact.

  • http://www.myspace/djzappout Dj Zappout

    Bol you is Crazy! Im amazed at how influential you are though. BTw I uploaded 2 new songs my to myspace page they are part of my submission to the ONE STOP SHOP beat battle in Phoenix! the third is going to be Grindstone Groove . The winner gets to be down with G-unit as an in house Beat maker http://www.moneymanagementxl.com/

  • EReal

    Man, I just read this bitches little rant and shit. Is she a Dike?
    Shes talkin bout “be a real gangsta, throw your set up”??? and for someone who is so offended by stereotypes and name calling this stupid bitch says “You better wish that I don’t find out who the fuck you are. Hatin-ass, racist-ass, bitch-ass, cracka-ass, lyin-ass, salty-ass mothafucka.”
    Why what the fuck are you gonna do bitch? KungPow Bird Flu me or somethin?
    This chick is dumb as fuck, theres several ETHERING comments on her blog, and she just repeats her same shit.. “Youre a hater, I musta got you mad, hater”. No examples of why this person is wrong or anything, just they a hater. Well everyone is entitled to their opinion, and a writer should know that dont you think?
    This chick deserves it. Ether this retarded wanna be thugged out pig Bol. Talkin bout, you better hope I dont find out who you are, psshhht.

    Green light on this bitch Bol, get at `er.