The source of Persia’s swagger

Last week, Persia couldn’t even remember her raps, but she got to stuck around. Misfit’s shit wasn’t particularly on topic, but it was hot! I definitely would’ve found a way to keep her around until the last couple of weeks, if I was the one in charge.

At the beginning of tonight’s episode, G-Child mentions how Vanilla Ice is the biggest influence on her career. Having lived through the original Vanilla Ice era, I’ll at least give her props for staying true to her roots. I know mad people who had that album back in the day who try to front about it now.

This week’s celebrity guest is Brand Nubian. Er, Sadat X (apparently out of jail) and Lord Jamar from Brand Nubian. Serch introduces them as OGs: Original Godbodies, which I found somewhat amusing. Persia claims they were “who she got her swagger from in 1991.”

The funniest though was when they got on John Brown for that Ghetto Revival bullshit. They ask him what exactly he’s trying to revive and he’s like, “Uggh… the ghetto,” as if no one had ever asked him that question. I wish they would’ve asked him if his nom de rap was a nod to the crazy abolitionist.

They split into groups (Persia’s pissed about hers) and Serch announces this week’s mission, which will involve “going into a real studio.” As it turns out though, the studio is not a recording studio, but a TV studio. They’re going to be on some sort of black history game show.

Also, they’re led on to believe that they might be rhyming over a Prince Paul beat (as if people are knocking down his door for production), but it turns out he’s the host. The game is a sort of Family Fued knock-off, except all the questions are about stereotypes.

Or, as I like to call them, “truisms.”

Admittedly, some of the questions stumped me. Do black barbershops really have portraits of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, let alone Tupac Shakur and Bill Clinton. It may have actually been funnier if they had to answer real questions about black history and culture.

What’s weird about the show so far is that it’s obvious the contestants aren’t really in on joke. They really think they’re on here to outrap one another and become the next Eminem. Dasit was the only one with sense enough to realize that from jump.

Persia’s team wins. They’re prize is spending an evening (including a delicious soul food dinner!) with Juelz Santana, whom Serch calls “Jewels” Santana. You wonder Serch, in his old age, is really that out of touch. Or maybe he just got some bad cue cards.

I didn’t catch the name of the spot they went to, but that shit looked good like a mofo! It actually kinda looked like the spot where Wesley Snipes took that white chick in Jungle Fever, for all of my early ’90s heads. (It’d be weird if it was the same place.)

It looks like they’re setting G-Child up to go home, but they might be pulling the old Road Rules-style switcheroo. The next day they’re visiting a barbershop in the Bronx, but G-Child can’t go because she doesn’t feel well.

At the barbershop, they rap for some guy who could very well be Mike Tyson’s long lost brother and another guy with a militant streak. Jus Rhyme, the ethnic studies scholar, does really well with the militant guy.

Elimination: The team that faces elimination includes Sullee, G-Child, 100 Proof, $hamrock. They pick pieces of white bread with topics on them (e.g. white trash) and head into the Ice Ice Chamber to write rhymes about them.

G-Child writes a relevant-enough verse, but stumbles a bit on the delivery. 100 Proof’s was aiight, but at least he had it memorized. Sullee’s verse on white power was weirdly defensive. $hamrock’s verse struck me as genuinely thoughtful.

In the deliberation stage, you get the idea that Serch has an issue with G-Child, especially with her Vanilla Ice fixation. He actually goes off on Sullee pretty hard, but then he sends G-Child home. To her credit, she seemed like a good sport about it.

NEXT WEEK: Jus Rhyme kicks some knowledge on white supremacy.

  • DennLive

    That spot that they ate at that you missed was Amy Ruth’s….And it is good like a mofo!

  • Devil Down Under

    yehhh

  • Belize

    Fuck this show

  • E AKA THE REAL NORIEAGA

    SMH @ this post. You should of reviewed sweet 16 for entertainment purposes

  • Belize

    Actually..let me retract my earlier statement

    Sour Deisel + Sour Bong + This weeks episode w/ prince paul = pretty fukin funny!

  • morebucks

    the only on who can spit is shammrock and jon brown persia is hideous n disgusting who would want a album wit her on the cover eeewwwww

  • Hurricane Game

    fuk this ghey show stopn going on bout it bol

  • BR

    this show sounds so fucking funny that I wish I watched TV. someone needs to youtube that shit!

  • COTDAYAAM!!
  • http://dsf fa

    no one gives a fuck, bol…

  • http://www.myspace.com/suntzu Sun Tzu

    yea no one realy cares your blogs are becoming more and more pathetic every day

  • Jay

    Dude you are such a hater. i surprised someone hasn’t knocked your ass out. You talk too much. What have you done in your life besides put down people. your wack and abum

  • CHIZAMP

    Can you please stop posting about this bullshit show? God damn bol

  • http://www.myspace.com/imperialfilmworks IMPERIAL

    Bol, u don’t know what u talkin’ bout…….the show is taped….that’s why Sadat is there……the spot they was eatin’ @ was Amy Ruth’s in Harlem……Wesley took the white girl 2 Slyvia’s……& everybody needs 2 stop getting uptight about the show…..it’s a comedy…none of them mc’s will ever get a deal…..AIIGHT….1HUNNID

  • cool boy23235432545
  • http://myspace.com/illlegalent Josh

    The name of the place where they ate with Juelz is Amy Ruth’s on 116th between Lenox and 7th.

    Ironically, this is on the same block as The Carter (the apartment complex taken over by Wesley “Nino Brown” Snipes in New Jack City).

    The scene from Jungle Fever was filmed a couple of blocks away at Sylvia’s.

    Did anyone else notice that Juelz left mid-dinner on some “Give me my money for sitting with these fools and I’m out” shit?

  • EReal

    See my other post bol, and repeat everything.. except change the title to the (White) Rapper Show.
    Why the fuck are you so obsessed with white folks anyway Bol? Its like all you talk about is white folks and bitches of other ethnic persuasions who “look like they fuck alot of black dudes”. If they did, youd be last in line with your bald fat ass and 8th grade mustache that still dosent grow in right(No Lupe). Get over it and get on your damn job Bol.
    Forrealz. Read the comments, everyones tired of these turd ass blogs.

    1 hunned.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    no one cares about the white rapper show

  • content

    booooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • let the game begin

    fuck this guy what the fuck is he doing reviewing bullshit shows?

  • http://www.jamieradford.com/blog jamie radford

    yeah — juelz did kinda bounce out of there pretty quick — it seemed a little insulting, actually…

    i disagree with bol that the whole point of the show is to clown on the white rappers — i think they’re being treated with a lot of respect, even g-child, who was the most out-of-it, probably.

    half the cast is there because they teach us something about whites in hip-hop, and the other half is there because they’re genuinely talented.

  • mannyworld33

    TWO WORDS:

    TOILET BOL!

  • CoChese

    Bol, your losin your swagger, If you even ever had one. You POSER.

  • EReal

    Yo Bol,
    you gonna go tourin on the Homorevolution tour? With all the Gayngsta rappers? I heard Gayme and Weezy F(ucks) Baby just signed up. You should be right at home with the homo thugs Bol, yall can discuss which dress you would wear if it was “Your Sweet 16″ all over again!
    (Extra no Jim “Borat Unitard” Jones)

    1 hunned.

  • HEY BOL

    yo BOL you should check out Haystak if you havent already heard any of his stuff

  • http://Ifux.blogspot.com I Fux

    Yo I tried to avoid the show but its hilarious and so is I love New York…thats a motherfucking train wreck

  • Moe Real

    “They’re prize is spending an evening (including a delicious soul food dinner!) with Juelz Santana, whom Serch calls “Jewels” Santana. You wonder Serch, in his old age, is really that out of touch.”

    How many grammar errors in this blurb?

  • Fernando

    Bol,

    Do you know how to form sentences?? Goddamn, reading this blog was like reading a 3rd grade report. You must have been off that 211 or that CAMO or sum sh*t.

  • jacquez
  • SONNY CHEEBA

    John Brown’s my nigga!

    he needs his own show, where he’s in BK trying to make it happen…

    the home made cards he cut out, LOL!

    the catch phrases, LOL!

    something tells me next week that he does his thing in the booth…

    and the dancing in the BX part with Jus Rhyme was HILARIOUS!!!

    homeboy don’t move his feet at all!

  • SixTwo

    Fuck VH1 (and their parent company, Viacom). Mutherfuckas will do anything for ratings these days. I can’t believe they gave Flavor Flav (aka “King Koon” and “The Human Roach”) a second season and New York her own show as well.

    I swear the next reality TV sensation will be people runnin’ around and teasing the homeless.

  • Notorious A.G.C.

    FUCKKKKK WHITE RAPPERS AND THEIR FANSSSSS (NO BOL)

  • mo’ green

    bol u look like the fat nigga from dfb and your blog sucks. you’ve always been a hater but at least your shit used to be kinda informative/entertaining. this white rapper show disgusts me, fuck vh1

  • Yun

    VH1 does more for hip-hop than BET does, so yall shut the fuck up

  • garbage

    Man some of these cats in the show can spit better than most artist right now!!!

  • http://xxlmag.com DARK

    bol who cares anymore?dis show is retarded and so are wiggers and the wiggers on the show nobody cares about these sorry ass honky cracka mafuckas.bol go eat a dick.

  • giftandacurse

    da show so tey gheyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  • Cuban Link

    lol this shows actually funny thou.ITS GHETTO REVIVAL BABY!That has become quite a popular chant at my skool.Lol the only on eI actually thought was good was Dasit.They best be keeping John Brown around, or it’ll be hella less funny with no ghetto revival or king of the burbs.

  • BE

    The fact that BOL watches this show..just proves that he is a LAME.

  • http://www.chronikill.com ROX ONE

    The game is a sort of Family Fued knock-off, except all the questions are about stereotypes.

    Or, as I like to call them, “truisms.”
    ——————————–
    I mean, after the Flavor Flav and I Love NY shows, its nice to see VH1 setting white people back a couple decases…

  • EReal

    LOL @ “Flavor Flav (aka “King Koon” and “The Human Roach”) “

  • extra penis

    can somebody with cable, and the know-how, up the latest episode on youtube or some shit? thank you

  • Pingback: » You Mad, Whitey? - XXL

  • freehiphop

    Yun Says:

    January 23rd, 2007 at 5:14 pm
    VH1 does more for hip-hop than BET does, so yall shut the fuck up
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    yah!!! it does mo damage..