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The CLIPSE are the Indianapolis Colts of the rap game.

Here’s why Pusha and Malice can’t win the big one just like Peyton
Manning.  The internets number one rap band the Clipse aren’t built to
go big time.  Like most of the projects that come from the Neptunes
camp the Clipse are too gimmicky to last longer than fifteen minutes
in the collective consciousness of today’s rap fans.  The Colts are a
gimmicky NFL team as well.  Football fans shout the name Peyton
Manning the same way the clipsters on the world wide web ballyhoo the

What happens to the Colts when the chips are on the line?  The same
thing is what happened to the Clipse when their last album was
released.  Everybody from the closet supremacist at the Village Voice
to the well respected and equally despised Byron Crawford was saying
that this album wasn’t like all the other Clipse crap that was
floating around the place.  I give the Clipse credit for having a
great work ethic although I’m tired of hearing them blame Jive for
their problems.  It’s not Jive’s fault if you choke and go wood in the
final minutes of the fourth quarter.  Maybe the Clipse’s offense
wasn’t all that to begin with.

Crack rap seems to be the style of the rap genre that most internets
critics masturbate over.  I think that’s because it allows them to
live their ghetto safari fantasies from the safety of their iPod
headphones.  They can imagine themselves to be urban explorers as if
that is the act of really engaging people on their own terms.  The
process doesn’t actually work and clipster fans know less about ghetto
dwellers the more they listen to Pusha and Malice.  My problem with the
Clipse crack rap is that whether it’s real or imagined, crack causes
people to fiend.  Where’s the line of fiends waiting to hear the
Clipse music?

The Clipse have about four really good songs in their catalog.  I mean
that kind of shit that just bumps in your truck on some thoroughbred
hardbody type shit.  Everything else just sounds wack and overproduced
in the studio.  The Clipse might want to consider finding a better
camp than the Neptunes in order to get some gritty, grimey music to
back their lyrics.  The Neptunes quirky pop rythyms are effing up the
Clipse steez.  I like the Neptunes and shit, and the work they did on
Philly’s Most Wanted was slept on by most cats out there.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong.  Maybe the Indianapolis Colts finally win
the big game this weekend.  Maybe the Colts finally shake off their
yoke of frustration and also ran status.  Maybe Peyton Manning finally
steps up and stops being a bum with an oversized cranium.  If that
ends up being the case I still don’t predict any greater success for
the Clipse.  They would just become the New Orleans Saints of the rap

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