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How I know you’re teh ghey

You know who’s a huge, disgusting bitch? Motherfucking Persia. I kinda wish she would’ve been sent home last week instead of G-Child just so we wouldn’t have to watch her saunter around the house half-naked, as if I was the male half of a typical redneck relationship.

After last week’s black stereotypes game show, I think a few of the white rappers are getting self conscious about they’re lack of knowledge and sensitivity wrt black issues. This week, it looks like they might be focusing that anger into hating on Jus Rhyme, the PhD candidate in ethnic studies.

Not that this is saying a whole lot, but 100 Proof is probably the shittiest of the white rappers left at this point, so look for him to end up in the elimination round as well.

So they split up into groups for this week’s competition: they’re given CDs with Just Blaze beats on them to write a “club banger” to. Problems arise when Jus Rhyme doesn’t like the idea of rhyming about smoking or drinking, though he does believe that partying leads to social justice.

The other group, which has redneck loverman Sullee in it, manages to crank something out in under an hour. The group with Jus Rhyme in it also has Persia and John Brown in it. They’re so going to end up in the elimination round.

In addition to writing rhymes to a Just Blaze beat (shit, I can do that), they also go into the studio with the once-great producer to record their club bangers. Persia and John Brown, as it turns out, work well together. Jus Rhyme and the rest of the group? Not so much.

Still, I’d say their record is coming out better than the other group’s. Just Blaze gets on Sullee for having to read his rhymes off the page. Meanwhile, 100 Proof’s verse is just… wrong. $hamrock’s chorus is pretty awful as well.

Afterwards, MC Serch shows up to the White House with some trays of food (hip-hop food?) and La Coka Nostra, a group made up of members of legendary white rap group House of Pain and Ill Bill. I notice Everlast looks really old, and Ill Bill is a pretty big guy.

Later, Serch takes them to a strip club for the next phase of the competition. According to Serch, 90% percent of rap songs that are big hits become big hits in strip clubs. Oh, really? Anyway, Kool Keith is there to act as this week’s celebrity judge. Sweet!

They play each team’s song for the strippers, both of which kinda looked like trannies to me, while Kool Keith and Serch sat back and “observed.” The verdict? The team with 100 Proof, $hamrock and Sullee loses.

The winning team gets complimentary lap dances from the tranny-looking broads, one of which has an amazing ass. Jus Rhyme, out of respect for his girlfriend, not to mention the fact that he’s teh ghey, declines.

Elimination time: the losing team is told to pull something from a mayo jar and ball it up in their hands. Then they’re told to put it on their heads. It turns out they’re thongs, with song topics on them.

They go in the Vanilla Ice room for what seems like 10 seconds to write songs about ballers, broads and booze. $hamrock’s verse is aiight as far as these things go. Sullee stumbles quite a bit, though his verse is pretty complex. 100 Proof’s verse is decent, if overly simplistic as usual.

Again, Serch dogs Sullee pretty hard, but then he sends 100 Proof home. The guy was definitely a wack rapper, but he seems like a pretty nice guy. Whatever.

NEXT WEEK: Mark Ecko kinda looks like half the people I went to high school with. Weird.

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