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Gotta catch ’em all!

Reason hip-hop is dead number 1080: weed carrier beef. Specifically, rappers having their weed carriers battle with other rappers’ weed carriers, Pokémon-style, rather than getting their own hands dirty. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?

On the one hand, I can see the business case for this. If anything, Jay-Z getting pwned by the Dirt Angel proved that once you get to a certain level in this industry, beefing with other rappers is just not worth it the way it used to be.

I mean, best case scenario, you either win or don’t lose too badly (like when Jay lost to Nas) and you end up with a shiteload of free publicity for your album. But if you’re Jay-Z, you can get free publicity for your album anyway. Shit, you can even get companies to pay you to promote your album.

At this point, I’m not sure how a rapper of Jay-Z’s stature could possibly benefit from beefing with another rapper. People who still think he’s a good rapper aren’t going to be swayed either way by a few battle raps, and you always run the risk of getting shot.

If you somehow managed to lose a rap battle though, especially to someone who’s not even that good, it could fuck your whole shit up. It’d almost be like getting beat up by a girl, out in public where everyone could see. Something like that could ruin a man.

With all of the money and BS that went into promoting Jay-Z’s botched abortion of a comeback Kingdom Come, you have to assume that his handlers didn’t count on him being pwned so badly by Capo Status. I mean, why even run the risk?

Is it any surprise, then, that Jay-Z’s main tack for ’07 seems to be playing the background while his new weed carrier Tru Life – his Pikachu, if you will – fights little bullshit proxy wars against not only the Dirt Angel, but several other Dipset second stringers.

[Not to be outdone, I see Memphis Bleek is getting in on the action. I wonder if that was a direct order from the captain, along with picking up ribs from Outback (as depicted in Fade to Black) and what have you. What a loyal soldier he is.]

But who gives a fuck about Tru Life vs. Dipset anyway? More interesting is that it looks like Jay will also be having his Pikachu attack Lil’ Wayne, whom you’ll recall pretty much dared Jay to step into the arena with him a couple of months ago.

The following exchange is from an interview Pikachu did with with Hip-Hop Game: Are you going at Lil’ Wayne for his comments to Jay-Z in his interview with Complex Magazine?

I’m going at anybody that disrespects the team. It’s whoever. It’s Rocafella for life. It’s Roc la Familia and Ghetto Inmates forever. Tell Whoopi Goldberg to go work on Sister Act 3 or keep hosting the Apollo.

Admittedly, Lil’ Wayne does kinda look like Whoopi Goldberg. I’ll give Pikachu props on that one, but that’s it. Being another man’s pokémon is pretty weak, even by today’s hip-hop standards.

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