Ain’t no sucka for love

If there’s one thing I’ve never understood about hip-hop, it’s the sucker for love mentality. A rapper can sing his mother’s praises all damn day, and get as syrupy and corny as he pleases, and it’s all good. But if he admits that he loves his girl, he’s automatically a sucker for love. I’ve never really been able to wrap my mind around why that phrase holds so much power. Why is it constantly hurled at other dudes in hip-hop? Why does it sting so much? And why would men who have already been deprived of so much want to deprive themselves of love? I don’t get it.

I’ve met a lot of guys with this mentality in the music industry. They have a Sidekick full of hot girls to hook up with. They are constantly in motion, always chasing a fly chick or running from a crazy one. They have total freedom—they’re not accountable to anyone for anything. But I wonder sometimes if this freedom is all that it cracked up to be. I wonder if these guys are going to hit 40 and feel exhausted and lonely. Who is going to be there when the shit hits the fan—which it always does at some point in life? Who will hear them out, rub their back, make them a plate of food, walk through the bullshit with them?

For some reason, I was marinating on the subject this morning. As I see it, 50 Cent is basically the poster child for the sucka-free mindset. (“It’s a cold world baby girl, loving me is not enough/Find out when you fucking broke, love won’t get you on the bus.”) I could be wrong—it’s not like I know the dude or anything—but it doesn’t look like he lets his guard down all that often. His verse about Vivica Fox in “Get In My Car,” for instance, is pretty damn cold. He seems to revel in the untouchable stance and enjoy throwing the sucka slur around. He tossed it at Nas in “Piggy Bank,” mocking Esco for tattooing Kelis on his arm. But, at the end of the day, who seems happier? Nas has a woman he adores to walk through life with. 50, on the other hand, gets to look cool to adolescent boys.

Maybe this mentality is just another aspect of the generation gap. After all, Jay used to be like: ‘Me give my heart to a woman?/Not for nothing, never happen/I’ll be forever mackin.” Now he’s like: “Soon as you finished cutting, you like ‘leave me please’/Not me, I need Angelina Joleezy comfort.”

  • http://straightoutleodis.blogspot.com Analogue

    “50, on the other hand, gets to look cool to adolescent boys.”

    Ha ha ha. LMAO.

  • The smart guy you don’t know

    I understand what your saying tara but disagree.

    50 dissed Nas on the kelis subject because of the fact that she sang songs of an erotic nature such as milkshake when they were together. How can your wifey be on about offering her goods to every man on a track? Thats the problem. 50 never dissed jay because of beyonce nor even Game with that chick he now his wifeying.

    Also please dont be telling me that everything that is said on tracks you take for fact? Sure 50 “markets” himself as the guy who treats girls with no respect, you dont know how he is in everday life. Nor do i, so lets not presume shit.

    Also 50 is fucking rich. Even if hes 70 with 100 million in the bank i dont think it be that hard to get a Hoe at that age.

    “50, on the other hand, gets to look cool to adolescent boys.”

    Well it wasnt “adolenscent boys” who were going in their hundreads to cop “candy shop”, be serious, you know that women love 50 aswell.

    this rap game is all about perception. Some poeple can get away with “being in love” (not really love, just public displays of affection which could just be another marjeting ploy) but others market themselves diffrently, you cant be sure of nothing.

  • che

    hey, i know this is probably very unrelated to your post tara, but do u know of any good book websites? kinda like how xxl is to music..?

  • http://myspace/notorious notoriousekb

    weakness is easily exploited in our world and love for a woman is seen as being weak . kinda stupid but true .in terms of fiddy tho he just seems like a nigga who been played probably more than once.ever heard “puppy love” from his “hip hop is dead ” mixtape ? it my favorite song on there because in a way he exposes how hurt he was by a woman . and aint nothin like being betrayed . that shit will make anyone lose a lot of self esteem which is something young black males have a struggle with everyday

  • chaing

    the mentality of the world is in a scary place. god save us

  • EReal

    I think 50′s situation and the pain he went through with his baby’s mama put him in that mentality. He’s enjoying spending time with his son, stayin on his grind and gettin caked up. It isnt time to settle down right now for him, why would he want a ball and chain right now when he’s makin all these moves?

    Alot of other rappers throw that phrase around, along with phrases about pimpin, but as with all rappers, you have to take that with a grain of salt.
    T.I. just got engaged, for example, and half his lyrics are about how he’s pimpin.
    Theres young cats in the game and older cats, Nas and Jay for example,(as youve noted), are grown and ready to settle down and have that girl. These young cats are just enjoying their time in the game and gettin money, and with any diss, that particular one is desgined to belittle and make someone look weak. How much weaker can you get than cryin over a female?
    My .02

    Tara steppin the blog game up while everyone else slackin, hahaha.

    1 hunned.

  • http://myspace.com/djchase247 Eastside Bread Maker

    This whole sucka for love thing depends entirely on the individual. SOme men (like myself) are meant to be in relationships. They love the feeling of not having to chase behind or run from certain girls. They like to know that they have that one steady person in their life that will be there with them through thick and thin, rub their back, top ‘em off, etc. But then there are men who love the thrill of having their way with different women (aint no pussy like new pussy, thats how a nigga feel). And theirs nothing wrong with that. Hell i would even suggest that all men go through that phase of life just once for at least a summer. It will change your outlook (for the better) on the opposite sex.

    When you run around with different girls you get to see their strengths and weaknesses, that way when you run into a real woman, you can completely appreciate her for all that she is. Thus Jay changing his ways from his Hey Papi and Big Pimpin to Bonnie and CLyde and Hollywood.

  • EReal

    Hey Tara-Squad,

    You mad at The Gayme for dissin Canada?

    1 hunned.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    I specifically dont let my guard down because a good women is hard to find these days…that is why we aint quick to let our guards down…for me…you gotta earn my trust and love…it aint givin…

  • jacquez
  • mannyworld33

    Eastside Bread Maker Says:

    January 22nd, 2007 at 10:40 am
    This whole sucka for love thing depends entirely on the individual. SOme men (like myself) are meant to be in relationships. They love the feeling of not having to chase behind or run from certain girls. They like to know that they have that one steady person in their life that will be there with them through thick and thin, rub their back, top ‘em off, etc. But then there are men who love the thrill of having their way with different women (aint no pussy like new pussy, thats how a nigga feel). And theirs nothing wrong with that. Hell i would even suggest that all men go through that phase of life just once for at least a summer. It will change your outlook (for the better) on the opposite sex.

    When you run around with different girls you get to see their strengths and weaknesses, that way when you run into a real woman, you can completely appreciate her for all that she is. Thus Jay changing his ways from his Hey Papi and Big Pimpin to Bonnie and CLyde and Hollywood.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    co-signed!

    but to add on to that, real men don’t care about what other people think, cause you can’t please everybody and sumbody is always gonna’ have sumthin’ to say.
    LIVE LOVE LAUGH!

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Aww, feeling a little emo today Tara? I agree with this post. I wear my heart on my sleeve as well. I’ve never been one of these We Don’t Love Them Hos guys. Personally, I don’t think anyone is TRULY like that. It’s usually just a bunch of frontin’ to cover up old hurt. Anyway, good post. Wanna be my Valentine, T? It’s kinda early, but I figure I’d ask you before Meka did. UNO!

  • content

    I think jealousy plays a role in the name calling too. I bet when the ones who haven’t found that person do they’ll sing a different tune.

  • derfla the hus’la

    right on ta nobody wants to look like a chump infront of their homeboys but as soon as them boys are gone and it’s jus you and your girl haha…. kinda reminds me of one episode of martin asking he’s girl not to style on him infront of he’s friends but acts all mushy when their alone shit was hilarious so every one even the hardest dude you know is a sucker for love

  • http://none MC

    good post Tara

  • Meka Soul

    >Anyway, good post. Wanna be my Valentine, T? It’s kinda early, but I figure I’d ask you before Meka did. UNO!>

    oh you mad cuz i’m stylin’ on you…

  • EReal

    Meka Soul Says:

    January 22nd, 2007 at 3:13 pm
    >Anyway, good post. Wanna be my Valentine, T? It’s kinda early, but I figure I’d ask you before Meka did. UNO!>

    oh you mad cuz i’m stylin’ on you…
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    LMFAOOOOOO!!

    Watch out Meka, it usually doesn’t turn out too well when you’re stylin on cats!

    1 hunned

  • Incilin

    Yea, I’ve wondered this too. And it is unfair.

    But I will say this; what the hell kinda rapper doesn’t hit every girl they can?? Groupies and video girls and shit is apart of the life and you take it when you get it because you might never again. It has a lot to do with the appeal of being a rapper. Think of Big before he was a rapper; as he said “Fat black and ugly as ever” and “i used to cop feels on a chick” but “now honies play me close like butter play toast” and all that. Back in the day no one gave a shit about 50, now that’s he’s got money the same women who didn’t care about him love him.

    But you are right, Nas has had the best of both worlds and seems really happy with Kelis (for now, i mean serosily how long can it last?) But you bringing up Jay makes me ask, if love makes him happy why doesn’t he just marry Beyonce?

  • http://www.myspace.com/poisonousdarthfc Poisonous Dart

    I personally think that mentally is stupid. It’s like the “He Man Woman Hater’s Club” or some shit…except they like having sex with women (or liking the idea of women wanting to have sex with them), but the idea of actually LIKING women for something more than the purpose of arm endorment/eye candy/occasional sex partner…..EWWWWWW!

    That’s pretty gay in my opinion. If you like women it’s perfectly okay to LIKE women. And if you find you can’t love them, chances are you don’t love yourself. Ignorant bastards. Great post, Tara.

    One.

  • Belize

    Thats cuz there gay…lol

  • john cochran

    Good post but it states the obvious. Men have been doing that for years. Not just in hip hop either but rock and others as well. We are just like that sometimes at a young age. You wanna look like a pimp for your boys. Hell, women know we do it. The age where you grow out of it depends on your personal maturity level. I’m only 20 and I like just having on chick. I’m not mushy in public but my chicks know I got love. I may take eastside’s suggestion and go buck wild this summer.

  • Bang

    you can’t admit you love a girl to your boys, that’s because no one else believes that you may have found agood woman! lol. and the chances are …

    listen to Slick Rick’s “”Treat her like a prostitute.” Seriously!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=LFtXxZt9Lfw&mode=related&search=

  • http://Ifux.blogspot.com I Fux

    I know Paul McCartney sure is a sucker for love, And the survey says 91 million goes to the 1-legged Banshee

  • GuNNz

    a wise man once said “bitches ain’t shit!!”

  • Puerto-Black

    I specifically dont let my guard down because a good women is hard to find these days…that is why we aint quick to let our guards down…for me…you gotta earn my trust and love…it aint givin…

    That About sums it up. Men know when to chill with Hoein and start lovin

  • E AKA THE REAL NORIEAGA

    They are constantly in motion, always chasing a fly chick or running from a crazy one. They have total freedom—they’re not accountable to anyone for anything. But I wonder sometimes if this freedom is all that it cracked up to be.
    ^^^^^^^
    When your young it sure as hell is, I’m still an 80′s baby, just let me live.

    Eventually I’ll find a women but until then
    “Me give my heart to a woman?/Not for nothing, never happen/I’ll be forever mackin.”

  • SilverBack Gorilla

    Basically, like evverybody said Tara, it comes down to age, maturity, grinding, & betrayal as to why a cat decides to/not to settle down. Me, if I find a worthy chic I’d definetly settle down, but I’ve had my share of 8′s, 9′s & dimes already… I love women, but so many of ‘em think along the same lines… it gets boring after a while.

  • fdfdas

    Men don’t care about love. Seriously. Men don’t give a shit. EVERY man doesn’t give a shit. He acts like he loves you, then he fucks you. That’s what women are for… fucking. And cooking. But mostly fucking.

  • Combat Jack

    Tara, I’ll be your sucka for love.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    Here is the thing with you females…when you first meet a chick treat her like a slut and one night stand…7 out of 10 will follow along…take another guy with the same chick…he rolls out the red carpet and wines and dines…she plays along…you gotta treat em like sluts and see what type of resistance you get…if you get none 9 out of 10 she would give it up to the next man that comes along…but if she makes you work for it…its different…you cant trust these women today…

  • EReal

    So I co-sign that shit N-Cred.

    My Girla’s lil sis was like that man, a little hoe. I got to talkin to her about how she’s shaming herself and her family and creating a rep thats gonna follow her around and why she doin all this. She told me that she just wanted to have what me and my lady have. A real relationship that works and someone to be happy with. She said she was looking for a good guy but didnt know what she was doing wrong. (LOL)
    So I told her str8 up, You cant turn a hoe into a housewife. Besides at her age (Tweens) theres not alot of mature guys, or mature guys looking to get into a relationship.. so she has to weed em out. She was like how.
    I told her to make a dude wait. Im talkin at least somewhere in the 3 – 6 month area. Show him you’re not easy and see if he’s really interested in you, or just the pussy.
    I also told her that if the dude tries to pressure her beyond little comments n shit like that, like crybabyin about the shit, to get rid of that herb. Anyway to make a long story unbearable, it worked.
    N-Cred is right mang, you gotta test the waters. These girls are scandalous now adays.(No Kanye)

    1 hunned.

  • Dade

    Tara,

    You are absolutely wrong. Is true everyone (including myself) got a kicked out of the line 50 said bout Vivica A. Fox but he is more famous for the following line “I love you like a fat kid loves cake”. Shit look at BIGGIE he had lots and lots of nice lines but the line that everyone will always remember is “BLACK FAT AND UGLY AS EVER” but this is the same dude that said lines like “Hit you with the dick, make your kidneys shift” and “I fuck around and hit you with the Hennessey dick”.

    So as you can see is all good baby…as long as you dont direspect MA DUKES..

  • http://www.xxlmag.com chillywilly da3rd

    okay normally i wouldnt do this but tara this is response worthy the deal is this sorry to say but in hip hop most bitches aint shit but groupies they are like dalilla you keep 1 around to long and it almost always spells downfall most of these fly girls you speak of are just byproduct of success they have a agenda the idea in most of these bimbos little airheads is if they can put that heddy wop on a baller just right they can become made but most emcess with they head in the right place know how to play it the sucka for love mantra is really more defense mechinism are you gonna let a fat ass and a cute smile be a libility on all you have work for hell no now there are exceptions to the rule the around the way ride or die chick that was wit ya ass when you had to split the 5 peice at kfc this worked out for dmx not so much for eminem so maybe your best bet is to do like most successful women do date people on your finacal level or higher only a la nas or jay-z in most cases after the voulture factor is out of the picture then i guess the dukes can go down

  • blackman

    Well I feel that we as men go thru different stages in life. I feel that all man have a point where they want to be a player or pimp and then there are time when we want to settle down. I also feel that any man who have become successfull have seen his pussy count jump tremendously.50 is a great example of a blackman who was probably treated like shit by women until he became a superstar and now most women would love to date or fuck 50 because of his success. Most blackmen are in the penitentiary today chasing those dreams of riches for these bitches so why wouldn’t blackman and rap fans relate to that old snoop line” bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks”. Also remember 2pac went from “keep your head up” to “MOB” money over bitches.

  • http://www.myspace.com/shoduction sam

    Part of the whole macho shit…hypocrisy is everywhere in rap.

  • blaQ

    Tara…there too many h0es out there….ask Carmen Bryna. cant truss em….

  • South Ambassador

    I like you b/c you keep it 100! Good article

  • Hurricane Game

    LOL Girls are Eazy. I Got a root the other day for wearin a Tall Tee and a New Era Fitted. She couldnt resist. And I fuckd her an Hour after meetin her. Infact Ill be seein her next week.
    PS. You can rub against ma balls any time Tara. Ill beat yo pussy real good.

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz da’realestwritin’

    it gets boring after a while.

    Co-sign!! if you den’ had one girl you den had’em all.

    four basic types of women:

    1.crazy. been molested,cheated on beat and sent on numerous grey hound trips wit’ packages in her.down chick but sleep one eye up!

    2.spoiled.daddy’s lil’girl who never struggled cuz’ pops got bread.wants everything but really can’t offer nothin.

    3.intellectual.she knows everything political to scientific.She may strike up great conversation but don’t know when to shut the hell up.

    4.FREAK.usually can be found in clubs or cornerstores rockin knock-off sumin.loves pac hates hoes (herself),and can put away more meat den’ rosie and star jones put together.easy to bang but don’t skinny dip!

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz da’realestwritin’

    CO-SIGN EVERYBODY.

    WOMEN. CAN’T LIVE WIT’EM CAN’T CUM WIT’OUT’EM

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