You go girl

A few weeks (possibly even months) ago I did a post here in which I listed the winners and losers of hip-hop circa 2006. It hadn’t occurred to me at the time, but I probably should’ve included hip-hop hoes in the winners column.

Granted, you’ve still got hoes like Melyssa Ford who, despite her obvious talent (most talented black woman evar?), have yet to make much of a come-up. That said, a few of these hoes are coming up big time in the ’06, threatening to make more money than the rappers they blow for a living.

Which seems counterintuitive when you think that so many of these video model-types have blown rappers and not gotten anything out of it other than the opportunity to pose for pictures holding some jig’s chain. But the key seems to be to suck someone’s dick and then flip that into a business opportunity for yourself.

Take for example famed hip-hop jizz jar Karrine Steffans a/k/a Superhead (who was discovered by XXL’s own kris ex, I’ll have you know). Her book Confessions of a Video Vixen has sold more copies than any other hip-hop book since the days of LL Cool J’s I Make My Own Rules and his since been spun off into an actual pr0n video.

That, my friends, is called “synergy.”

It’s been so successful in fact that it was announced yesterday that she’s signed deals for two more books to be released in 2007 and 2008 – a “fictionalized account of her life story” (i.e. a novel about sucking dick) and a proper sequel to Confessions called The Vixen Diaries focusing on the Hollywood actors she’s blown.

Not to be outdone, Nas’ baby’s mother Carmen Bryan is planning to release a book chronicling her own knob shine exploits. Is she on her way to becoming the next Superhead, complete with “film” spin-offs and high-priced sequels? It’s worth noting that the rappers she blew are a lot more high profile than Kool G Rap and Method Man.

Admit it, you’d probably pay to see a movie about her getting served orange juice by a stark naked Nas (no Weezy F Baby) and getting nailed by Jay-Z on the back seat of Nas’ Bentley (which is probably great for fucking in) right next to the car seat and then having to show up to Jay’s house the next day for $300 to get an abortion.

If any Hollywood producers are reading this and want me to draft a screenplay based on this nonsense, holler at your boy. Admittedly, this isn’t exactly my life’s dream as a writer, but I’m sure it’ll beat spending another holiday season at the BGM. Plus, who knows, I might even get a knob shine out of it.

  • http://hood Ctownrepresent

    1st

  • Flip

    Hilarious!

  • http://hood Ctownrepresent

    fuck that bitch Carmen

  • dreadzy

    I Kno bitchies gotta eat too but that broad dissed ma man Nas and I aint gonn abuy no book written by a bitch like that coz bitchies aint nothin but liers lol.cant trust them cant live without em

    • iceberg

      Dam rite dat hoe is everywhere and she needs to keep her pussy locked up or somethun cuz she cant control herself obviously. she always sayin she fuckd sum1 like any one is is suppose to care after all the shit dat has been goin and comin otu of her mouth.LOL

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    The two pieces today are some of the funniest and most imaginitive pieces we’ve seen in awhile. I couldn’t stop rollin on that Brit-Fed piece.

  • The Truth

    Naw this was poor Bol,

    1st?

  • DJ N-CREDIBLE

    bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks
    get on the knees and suck the…

  • SUPERMAN

    THIS THE FUNNIEST DUMBEST FUCKIN POST EVER. VIDEO HOES ARE JUST SLUTS WITH NO TALENT. YOU’D MAKE MORE MONEY DOING HOUSEHOLD AMATEUR PORN THAN APPEARING IN ACTUAL VIDEOS. ASK THAT BITCH CORRINE, SHE’S THE XXLMAG.COM SLUT. SHE WILL SUCK ANYONE OFF, EVEN BOL. EEEWWWW!!!!

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >The two pieces today are some of the funniest and most imaginitive pieces we’ve seen in awhile.

    What can I say, the spirit was with me.

    Granted, I’d trade the spirit for a woman any day of the week, but what are you gonna do.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    What no one has said is that BOTH those bitches fucked Jay-Z…

    That nigga get’s around…

    and NO HOMO, they said he was holding (PAUSE, STOP, REWIND THE TAPE, AND ERASE!)…

    That’s why that ugly Joe camel nigga’s been able to hold on to Beyince for so long!

    Bastard!

  • 5 STAR X-E-Q-SHUN

    that carmen B-yatch, er, book apparently lacks key omissions as to what really went down between her & Nas.

  • champ

    Women make the world go round….

  • Tyler

    Bol, thanks for putting this hoes out here in the proper light cause yea’ they ain’t shit but at least they getting paid for it ya’ dig. .
    I dun’ got my joint wax’d lovely a few times in my lifetime but I still have a hard time believing that this bitch is that ill wit’ her blow game ‘dat she earned the name “SuperHead” more like SuperHead for supin’ this niggas heads up 2 give up their status, style & manhood for a headjob & into bein’ down wit hoeass bitch like her in 1st place. . .Some of them may can Rap but their pimp game is lookin’ real weak right about now my nigs. Wouldn’t U agree?
    peep the musical vibes and heat at:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • Tyler

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Bol, and yea’ where is the piece on K FedEx and my bitch Britney cause I wants 2 dig on ‘dat ya’ dig? Put ‘dat shit where a nigga can find it and laugh his ass off

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    If any video hoes are intrested. I own an expensive chain. I might let you hold it.

    Holla at ya boy.

  • http://aramhiphopetc.blogspot.com/ I Fux

    Superhead can get it that hoe is gorgeous …………..Video Models wanna be Mellysa Ford little do they know Melyssa Ford drive a Honda Accord (c) Game of off the Doctors Advocate WOULDN’T GET FAR

  • JEZ

    Decent post. I just can’t believe anyone would pay to read these bullshit stories. That Carmen bitch ought to be ashamed of herself though, putting her daughter name all in the book. How little Destiny supposed to deal with this shit? You know her classmates are reading the excerpts all over the net right now.

  • INVISIBLE_HAND

    what a bunch of bolshit!
    bol’s getting ideas from us in the comment section.we were talkin bout mel ford like 3 days ago.
    BTW y hasn’t nas shut up carmen by now? somethin ain’t right.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >Bol, and yea’ where is the piece on K FedEx and my bitch Britney

    http://www.byroncrawford.com/2006/11/rip_kfed.html

  • ehu$tle

    yo for real bol u be wildin out!!! u are a nutcase!!!!

  • Mr.Me

    Bol you ol Adonal Foyle lookin nigga them industry hoes like Carmen would work niggas like you until your bankrupt.

  • FRANK

    well it’s good to see these video hoes gettin off their knees and doin something with their lives besides giving head, even if it’s writing a book on how big of a sluts they are.

  • face

    everybody fucked superhead

    I fucked superhead!

    don’t hate hoes tho, were all hoes in one way or another..

  • Fernando

    Either Adonal Foyle, Tyrone Hill, or Oliver Miller.

    Co-Sign Mr. Me

    VideHoes are way slicker / sheistier than Bol. He’d get one BJ & the next thing you know it would be SuperHead’s Saturday night workout, & Bol would be kicked out of the Moms basement.

    Good Post though

  • Fernando

    Nas should have deaded that wench years ago.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Mr, Marcus (the porn star and “man’s man” no weezy f. baby) said “Superhead” was the best “blow job” he’s ever gotten!

    and i can believe that, the way the nigga was running from the bitch in the porn they did…

    she had that nigga under pressure and that’s what he does for a living!

  • SUPERMAN

    BOL YOU EVEN HAVE YOUR OWN WEBSITE? WHAT THE HELL YOU WORKIN FOR XXL FOR? HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS LAME JOB?

  • Fernando

    Chybe

  • Meka Soul

    rip gerald levert.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Damn, 1st Ed Bradley, now Gerald Levert…

    who’s next, “Bookman” from “Good Times”???

  • Meka Soul

    the thing that gets me is that in the title of that whore’s book, she calls herself “hip-hop’s helen of troy.” that’s obviously wrong; she’s more like hester prynne.

    is it me, or am i not the only one tired of these hoe-bags making money by taking 8 million babies to the face per day?

    no “little man.”

    once again: rip gerald levert & rip ed bradley.

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    I’m considering creating a minstrel type rap song. Maybe Melyssa Ford can holla at me then.

  • Young A. Simmons

    Bol you too proud to pay for sex?

    Or ya just broke? my advice is go to the gulliest part of town and tap that ish for like $12.

    That minivan nice and spacious, could prolly fit a couple of hoes in the back.

  • genesis

    Is Gerald Levert Dead for real?

  • genesis

    Is Gerald Levert Dead for real?

  • Fernando

    Gerald Levert aint dead

  • SUPERMAN

    I SAW GERALD YESTERDAY PLAYING HORSESHOES AT THE OLIVE GARDEN. IVE NEVER BEEN THERE THOUGH.

  • http://www.myspace.com/corinnemq Corinne

    Sorry Bol, but the wasn’t your best blog, hopefully you got something better on your website cause these sucks dick.

  • Meka Soul

    gerald levert is dead, unfortunately:

    http://www.allhiphop.com/hiphopnews/?ID=6384

  • Fernando

    Damn. LSG is now SG. That sucks.

  • Goon

    Bol F*CK YOU with that “no weezy f. baby sh*t you hating ass nigga

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    Ay!

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    yeah Bo(w)l, go get an “escort”- and “make it do what it do baby”…

    no Eddie Murphy and the Transi…

    speaking of Transi’s, where’s Transi???

  • Fernando

    Damn. Heart Attack for G-Bear. Im depressed…..Who’s next, Teddy Pendergrass???

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    Esther Baxter and Gloria Velez are my favorite video hoes

  • Fernando

    Transi is dead. Rey murked him

  • Fernando

    Gloria Velez tape = Grimiest public porn display EVER

  • Fernando

    Mel Ford needs to drop the dream of being famous for anything other than her body. Do a tape…Do a tape…Do a tape!

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    The preview to Nas’ album got a perfect score on allhiphop

    R.I.P Gerald Levert

  • http://aramhiphopetc.blogspot.com/ I Fux

    Fernando Says:

    November 10th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
    Gloria Velez tape = Grimiest public porn display EVER

    ^ is there such a thing

  • Were Read 2 Def

    Hey Bol,

    Love the wordplay. “hip hop jizz jar” or ” knob shine exploits”.

    That’s great shit.

  • westside till we die

    Man i love bitches

  • INVISIBLE_HAND

    Gloria Velez tape ?

  • Fernando

    Oh yes, it exists. I actually got it on Limewire some time ago. Its off of one of Lukes “Freakshows”. Gloria & some other latina freak give quite a show in front of about 200 jigs who are all liquored up & looking like they are about to pull a “central park” on both of em. There is also some tape of her dancing for Vince Carter, but Ive only seen about 10 seconds of it.

  • Fernando

    Bol is a lame. He needs to use his powers (although minimal) too woo the yamps in the Eye Candy section. Lord knows they look desperate enough

  • Meka Soul

    we’re dropping like flies, people.

    meanwhile crystal meth-taking faggits…errr… “preachers” and various spooge receptacles still walk this not-so-green earth.

    no “orange juice” jones.

  • INVISIBLE_HAND

    very nice!
    no bol.

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    If any of the eye candy girls out there know how to read holla at ya boy. I own an expensive chain.

  • 110 street

    bol u havin a hard time gettin some top,(knob shine) u better throw this xxl shit in a conversation with one of those hoes out there in no mans land

  • john cochran

    Stories like supehead’s just goes to show how ignorant we are as a community. How can we glorify this woman for being an open whore? How can you spend money on a book to hear her talk about sucking dick? I can just go out to the ave. and hear one of the local hookers’ stories for free. I hope she doesn’t make another red cent off of her disgusting image.

  • the one

    HAHAHAHAHA. You a funny niggarican Bol Head. I can say tho this nonsense was kinda amusing.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    i read Superhead’s book at Barnes & Noble (hey, they let u use the place like it’s a public library- take advantage), and i read it cover to cover- mad quick…

    not cuz it’s an ill piece of literature, but bcuz every other page was a new nigga she’s fucked (from Usher to Puffy to Shaq), i was “this bitch is crazy!”…

    EVERY nigga who someone during that period hit that cum recepticle…

  • Fernando

    Velez would get her nasty joints pounded. Even though that Aaron Hall tattoo above her cooch is pretty skanky.

  • Fernando

    Damn, SH took on Shaq??? Im suprised she lived to tell the tale.

  • Avenger

    I lost all respect for Nas after that Carmen shit. It is one thing to accidently F a trick and get her pregnant it is another thing to almost wife the trick while other niccas taxing and feel pain about it. no respect 1000000000000000000000 points lost be re-up

  • http://www.myspace.com/corinnemq Corinne

    Superman Superhead should to added to that list. 50 be rapping up a storm about this fool, no wonder G-unit sales are going down cause Superman apparently going down on them, that shits gay.Who wants the first shot at the faggit?

  • Fernando

    Im out

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    Superhead is probably a role model to all hood rats

  • e aka the real noreiaga

    Ayo!

  • Tyler

    >Bol, and yea’ where is the piece on K FedEx and my bitch Britney

    http://www.byroncrawford.com/2006/11/rip_kfed.html

    ^^^^^^^^^^ yo Bol, good lookin’ on posting shit back up 4 a playa dawg. It is hella funny and on point as well. I am wit’ K Fed on this one even though he sucks as a rapper.
    If Britney was dumb enough 2 let ‘dat white fakeass nigga drop anchor and babies all up in her guts instead of a true BlackGuy then I hope he takes that bitch 2 the bank so when I see her out here on South Beach she will be all soften up and broken hearted so a real nigga can show her what it really be like 2 roll wit’ the brothas.

  • projectnrm

    So revealing your ho exploits has become a profitable venture for young women these days?

    I’m deathly afraid for my little sisters. With females like Carmen and Karrine setting the example out there, little girls coming up now are going to need more positive role models than ever.

  • Fernando

    Boss man wont let me go….so I stay to talk smack!!!! Botches!

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    “…i got this chick named Superhead, she gives super head, just moved in the building- even gave the Super head…”

    (c)Jadakiss

  • http://www.myspace.com/corinnemq Corinne

    e aka the real noreiaga Says:

    November 10th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
    Superhead is probably a role model to all hood rats

    ^^^ I thought that was Lil’Kim….or maybe it was Foxy Brown….

  • SCORPIO1970

    Speaking of hoes, where is your boy Sickamore. Is he in hiding from Dipset? The funny thing is how sensitive these so-called thugs are. He was actually complimenting the Dipset as being on the come-up. A dumb, sensitive, so-called thug is a scary thing.

  • SCORPIO1970

    Speaking of hoes, where is your boy Sickamore? Is he running from Jim Jones and the boys? The funny thing is he was trying to compliment them for being on the come-up. It is best not to even mention the names of these sensitive ass, so-called thug rappers today.

  • Joe

    Bol-
    gulliest mall ever= northwest plaza?

  • http://www.myspace.com/corinnemq Corinne

    projectnrm Says:

    November 10th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
    So revealing your ho exploits has become a profitable venture for young women these days?

    I’m deathly afraid for my little sisters. With females like Carmen and Karrine setting the example out there, little girls coming up now are going to need more positive role models than ever.

    ^^^ best post

  • HiPhOpCoOn

    DiZ nIgGa FuNnY aBoUts dA hOeZ

  • http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?page_id=291 BILLY SUNDAY

    BOL you killed with this one

  • jon jon–23

    Everywhere you look nothing but hoes. Hoes to the left of me, hoes to the right of me. They may as well make money off their skills right? A beautiful, smart hoe with good mouth and a motor can be more dangerous than a million-man army because they can manipulate men with power. One of the dumbest new hoes out right now is Hoopz. She is one of the finest women I have ever seen, but instead of her capitalizing on her access to rich and powerful men, all she gets out of the deal is a bellyfull of nut and a sore cunt. Shame.

  • dreadzy

    HEY WON’T IT BE COOL IF OPRAH INVITED ALL THEM HOE’S INTO HER SHOW.OR DOE’S SHE HAVE PROBLEMS WITH VIDEO HOES TOO.

  • Lia

    These post are pitful. Poor Jay and Nas. They put Carmen’s name all throughout their songs; now she is telling her side of the story and it’s a problem. Nas and Jay have bragged about how many women they banged, but only Carmen is a ho.Fucking hypocrites. XXL featured Carmen in their magazine now they gon try to shit on her. The same people that are knocking her will pick up her book and put money in her pocket…regardless if they want to admit it or not. All this talk is nothing more than promotion.

  • Suede

    BC’s not a writer he’s a biter

    http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?p=1257

  • marlon

    on a completely unrelated topic kingdom come leaked yesterday afternoon and i’ve listened a few times and it is pure fire. finally something to get excited about. I was very unimpressed by show me what you got and somewhat disappointed by kingdom come, lost ones was good but the album is better, anyone who wondered where dre’s been he produced pretty much the whole album, it is the best album out in a while. not disappointed at all, its at rapgodfathers.com or mininova.org

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    Funny post mayne!

  • SUPERMAN

    CORRINE THE XXLMAG.COM SLUT YOU STILL TALKING? HOW CAN A HOE WITH A DICK IN HER MOUTH TALK SO MUCH? YOU MUST NOT BE GETTING THEM JOBS DONE RIGHT. I SUGGEST IF YOU WANNA CONTINUE GETTING PAID YOU KEEP THAT CUM JAR OF YOURS CLOSED. NOW DO THE GGGG-UNOT DANCE.

  • dreadzy

    jay ends this topic in the track “bitchies and sisters go listen.

  • 420PURP

    “HIP HOP JIZ JAR KARRINE STEPHANS”LMFAO…

  • thatdukesuave

    Hoe tell everybody, even the mayor! Damn cumbuckets tryin to fuck up everybody’s rep, i don’t care if super slurper got lips softer than a pillow, she aint fuckin up my relations!

  • blah

    hey mufucka do a review of kingdom come, its all over the net.

  • Tyler

    So sorry Kingdom Come ain’t bustin’ a nut. . U gotta peep the Game album. .shit is fuckin’ sick yo plus he got this joint all about these video vixens called, “You Wouldn’t Get Far”. . wit’ him and Kanye. After the way they went at these hoes hoe game. .Game and them may never get any groupie love ever again. These bitches are going 2 find it hard 2 get work here in a minute.

    “HOW CAN A HOE WITH A DICK IN HER MOUTH TALK SO MUCH? YOU MUST NOT BE GETTING THEM JOBS DONE RIGHT”
    That shit was funnier than a motherfucker!

  • http://www.myspace.com/corinnemq Corinne

    SUPERHEAD I can’t believe your ass is still talking, no wait I do every time your stank ass bootyhole that flaps through the wind from riding too much 50 comes around here talking shit to me?! You really a gay ass faggit trying hate on a female. You serious say dick this dick that, a lot people been wondering about you know, you know you must like dick obviously. Do everybody a favor take that 50 dick outta your mouth go to fucking hell and shove the devils dick in your mouth so you can shut the hell up you gunit motherfucking cumm faggot ass bitch….ya know what, you just gay.

  • SUPERMAN

    THE STUPIDEST HO IN THE WORLD CEASE TO STOP TALKING. AND YOU AINT A GIRL, YOURE A HOE. THERES A DIFFERENCE. YOURE A SLUT BAG WHO RIDES GAME ALL FUCKIN DAY AND WONT KEEP 50′S NAME OUTTA YA MOUTH. FUNNY, YOURE SAYING IM RIDING 50 AND I NEVER MENTION HIM BUT YOU DO. SO WHOS RIDING WHO? STUPID HOE GET THE JOB DONE RIGHT AND SHUT THE HELL UP.

  • jonjon–23

    You gotta hand it to Corinne though…Anybody who saw her porno; she sure knows how to hook up a dick. I aint mad at her if that’s what she likes to do. Most of the niggas hatin’ would love for her to get on their microphone.

  • let the game begin

    daim souperman calm down nicca.I do suggest you see a doctor though, coz you clearly have a mild case of pussy phobia

  • SUPERMAN

    LET THE FLOP BEGIN YOU STILL TRYNA SWALLOW THAT DICK HUH? ASK CORRINE FOR HELP SHE’S A PRO.

  • SUPERMAN

    LET THE FLOP BEGIN YOU STILL TRYNA SWALLOW THAT DICK HUH? ASK CORRINE FOR HELP SHE’S A PRO…

  • Tyler

    I wonder which one of these hoes will be the 1st 2 file a lawsuit against one of these Rappers for spitting their name and their hoe game on wax? It should be in any minute now since it’s clear they are all just tryin’ 2 get paid.

  • let the game begin

    YEAH I ASKED HER SHE SAID YOU’RE GOOD STUDENT, COZ FIDY IS ALWAYS SATISFIED WITH THE HAND JOB YOU GIVE HIM.

    SEEMS LIKE WRITTIN DISSES IN THE INERNET ISN’T THE ONLY THING YOU GOOD AT.

  • http://www.cottonblack.com melissa

    why dont you stupid men stop calling video models hoes and slut and whore!!! not all of them having sex with the rapper!! we have some decent respectable intelligent women in those videos stop hating on them stop generalizing!