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Unkut.com Presents…The Clean-Up Man

Based on my last post, some of you might have me pegged as “another New York addict who hates on the South”, but that’s not exactly true. While there’s not a lot of new stuff outside of the East coast that I’m bumping right at this minute, I’ve been a strong supporter of the the Rap-A-Lot label for years. As the home to the Geto Boys, Houston has produced two of the greatest rappers ever – Scarface and Willie D. Now everyone is pretty familiar with Brad Jordan‘s output, but Will doesn’t seem to enjoy the same recognition, which is a god damn shame in my not-so-humble opinion. Over the years D has released everything from unapologetic social commentary and tough-guy anthems to ill sex raps and even straight-up comedy joints, all recorded in his trademark Shout Rap delivery. Not only that, but his debut album (pictured above) has all the elements required for a classic rap album cover:

1. A chick in a bikini.
2. A punk-ass cop.
3. A dude in a KKK uniform.
4. A shirtless rapper

Here’s a selection of some of D’s finest moments:

“Read These Nikes”

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Having boxed and trained with former fight champion Reggie Johnson, not to mention having fought in the First (and only) Annual Rappers Boxing Championship, you know that D’s knuckle game is no joke. This track from the Geto Boys album explains exactly how he gets down when it’s time to start handing out beat-downs. “I don’t give a fuck who you hang with trick/friends ain’t shit when you’re gettin’ your ass kicked!”

“Homie Don’t Play That”

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Upping the ante even more, Willie warns pranksters not to fuck with him: “I won’t understand how a man can call a man a bitch or a hoe and be playin’/in my book that’s a no-no, you’re mouth’ll write a check that your ass can’t cash bro”. He also advises the following:

1. Don’t snatch his hat of his head like you’re homies.
2. Don’t greet him with a bump, ’cause you don’t know him.
3. If you don’t have a pussy, don’t even bother him.
4. Don’t even act like you wanna swing (he’s pretty good with them thangs!)
5. Wrastlin’ ain’t masculine.
6. Don’t say you like his new jacket if you’re gonna sound sarcastic.
7. Do not, under any circumstances, compliment his girl, say some dumb shit like “You’ve got a good thing, hold tight, don’t lose her brother”, call her up when he’s not home or try to cop a free feel.

“Bald Head Hoes”

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I guess a lot of gals around H-Town had some messed-up haircuts in ’89: “Being bald makes a gal look like a beast/stupid-ass hoes ain’t you heard of grease?” As Willie explains: “I’ve just gotta have a bitch that’s got more hair than me”, which makes sense if you think about it. Anyone who has the video to this song or the 12″ (complete with the clean version – “Bald Head Gals”!) please contact me for a box of Weed Carriers Rap XXL Raps CDs.

“I’m Not A Gentleman”

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Without a doubt, the best rap song about male/female relations ever: “Bitches act like they handicapped/want me to open doors, pull-up chairs and all that!”.

“Rodney K”

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The Clean-Up Man ethers Rodney King: “Let the white man dress you up then mess you up/I wouldn’t be surprised if he sexed you up/’cause you look like a gay, lettin’ them white folks tell you what to say!”.

“I Wanna Fuck Your Mama”

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“What a great adventure/when I make her suck my dick and knock out them dentures”. Is that what they call a “gum-job”? So wrong that it’s gotta be right. Right?

“Welfare Bitches”

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Another thing that gets Willie The Kidd vexed is deadbeat welfare cheats. A few years later, when he hosted his own talk-back radio show, D continued to call out everyone that’s feasting on that government cheese.

“Trophy”

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Although this track is fifteen years old, not a lot has changed:
“It should be a crime/One sucker gets nominated 5 or 6 damn times
It ain’t that he’s better than the rest/It’s just a damn popularity contest
Or a bribe or a favor/Motherfuckers make a speech and they think that they major”
It might have been a good idea for Kanye to have given this song a listen in between stealing drums off Pete Rock records.

Well that’s a wrap for my week at the Evil Empire (thanks for lookin’ out Brendan). For more of the same, keep your eyes on the prize at Unkut, plus there’s always the occassional update at Weed Carriers. Plus Rafi, Dallas, Bol, Noz, eskay and Joey are always bringing you that quality hipster-free coverage of the wacky world world of rap and beyond. Oh yeah, and RIP Under Tha Radar

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