Something smells shitty
It seems like hardly a day has gone by this year without an incident involving some rapper and/or his weed carrier and the police. Case in point, it’s only Wednesday and already there was an incident in which Fabololous allegedly snatched some jig’s chain and was subsquently shot in the leg outside Diddy’s restaurant as well as any number of incidents involving hip-hop figures even less significant than him, if you can imagine.
Perhaps most amusing of the bunch was an incident involving St. Louis rapper Nelly’s weed carrier Ali, who was pulled over and subsequently given the Rodney King treatment while out picking up some “video equipment” for his boss Nelly’s new sports bar Mack’s out in the hinterlands of northern St. Louis County. The po-po pulled Ali over for not signaling or some such and somehow ended up tasering the bag handler 47 times, or so he claims.
But that’s not even the best part. According to the report at AllHipHop.com, which I’m sure was wantonly cribbed (er, “sampled”) from some local news source here in the STL, Ali was tasered so many times he crapped his pants.
“He gets out, opens the backdoor and he tases me over and over,” [Ali] told local TV station KSDK Channel 5. “I was afraid. I had a bowel movement on myself, he tased me so long. You see my back, he tased me 35 times over and over and he held it every time.”
Granted, the idea of a black man being repeatedly electrocuted to the point of self-defecation isn’t particularly amusing in and of itself. But anytime an adult craps his pants it is kinda funny, not to mention that this was a weed carrier who was “on duty” at the time of the incident.
Ali suggests there was a racial element to the incident and I’m tempted to believe this is true. He claims the officer made several racist comments during the incident, which I’m sure would be difficult to prove unless there’s video of the arrest a la “Cops.” But I also find it rather difficult to imagine an incident in which a white cop would pull over some white kid in a new Corvette and end up tasering him 47 times.
Call me crazy.
I know there was an incident last year or whenever when it was announced that Nelly was planning to open a sports bar in that area that struck many people as having a nasty racial element. When they heard Nelly was opening a bar in their city, Hazelwood, MO tried to pass a law that says it’s against the law smoke weed in a restaurant, despite the fact that it’s already illegal to smoke weed pretty much anywhere.
Then, I wasn’t sure what to think. Jigs do have a certain tendency to roll up and start smoking weed in public, as if that shit’s all of a sudden legal just because it’s a hip-hop function. Also, as often as you hear about these rappers and their weed carriers getting shot, I don’t know that it’d make you a racist if you decided you didn’t want that element in your area. In fact, I’m not even sure how many white people live in North St. Louis County.
Similarly, you have to wonder what really happened during the traffic stop this weekend. First of all, how does Ali know for a fact that he was tasered 47 times? Did he count? Also, I knew something was up when Ali made it a point to mention to the media that he shit his pants. What kind of rapper (er, weed carrier) do you know who would admit to some shit like that? I mean, it’s not like anyone asked him whether or not he came out and shit his pants. He just came right out and admitted it.
Presumably, his lawyer told him to mention the pants crapping and the specific number of taserings so that they can use it to run up the damages sought from the city in the requisite civil trial. Because of the previous incident with the weed smoking ordinance, I imagine he’s got a pretty good case, but you never can tell with these police brutality trials. Rodney King got way more fucked up than Ali, and you see what happened in that case.