Something smells shitty

It seems like hardly a day has gone by this year without an incident involving some rapper and/or his weed carrier and the police. Case in point, it’s only Wednesday and already there was an incident in which Fabololous allegedly snatched some jig’s chain and was subsquently shot in the leg outside Diddy’s restaurant as well as any number of incidents involving hip-hop figures even less significant than him, if you can imagine.

Perhaps most amusing of the bunch was an incident involving St. Louis rapper Nelly’s weed carrier Ali, who was pulled over and subsequently given the Rodney King treatment while out picking up some “video equipment” for his boss Nelly’s new sports bar Mack’s out in the hinterlands of northern St. Louis County. The po-po pulled Ali over for not signaling or some such and somehow ended up tasering the bag handler 47 times, or so he claims.

But that’s not even the best part. According to the report at AllHipHop.com, which I’m sure was wantonly cribbed (er, “sampled”) from some local news source here in the STL, Ali was tasered so many times he crapped his pants.

To wit:

“He gets out, opens the backdoor and he tases me over and over,” [Ali] told local TV station KSDK Channel 5. “I was afraid. I had a bowel movement on myself, he tased me so long. You see my back, he tased me 35 times over and over and he held it every time.”

Granted, the idea of a black man being repeatedly electrocuted to the point of self-defecation isn’t particularly amusing in and of itself. But anytime an adult craps his pants it is kinda funny, not to mention that this was a weed carrier who was “on duty” at the time of the incident.

Ali suggests there was a racial element to the incident and I’m tempted to believe this is true. He claims the officer made several racist comments during the incident, which I’m sure would be difficult to prove unless there’s video of the arrest a la “Cops.” But I also find it rather difficult to imagine an incident in which a white cop would pull over some white kid in a new Corvette and end up tasering him 47 times.

Call me crazy.

I know there was an incident last year or whenever when it was announced that Nelly was planning to open a sports bar in that area that struck many people as having a nasty racial element. When they heard Nelly was opening a bar in their city, Hazelwood, MO tried to pass a law that says it’s against the law smoke weed in a restaurant, despite the fact that it’s already illegal to smoke weed pretty much anywhere.

Then, I wasn’t sure what to think. Jigs do have a certain tendency to roll up and start smoking weed in public, as if that shit’s all of a sudden legal just because it’s a hip-hop function. Also, as often as you hear about these rappers and their weed carriers getting shot, I don’t know that it’d make you a racist if you decided you didn’t want that element in your area. In fact, I’m not even sure how many white people live in North St. Louis County.

Similarly, you have to wonder what really happened during the traffic stop this weekend. First of all, how does Ali know for a fact that he was tasered 47 times? Did he count? Also, I knew something was up when Ali made it a point to mention to the media that he shit his pants. What kind of rapper (er, weed carrier) do you know who would admit to some shit like that? I mean, it’s not like anyone asked him whether or not he came out and shit his pants. He just came right out and admitted it.

Presumably, his lawyer told him to mention the pants crapping and the specific number of taserings so that they can use it to run up the damages sought from the city in the requisite civil trial. Because of the previous incident with the weed smoking ordinance, I imagine he’s got a pretty good case, but you never can tell with these police brutality trials. Rodney King got way more fucked up than Ali, and you see what happened in that case.

  • http://first.com Fuckin wack…

    find something better to write about….first.

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz thebestout!!

    IFRTS!!! YOU COCK-MONGERS….

  • http://www.okayplayer.com Spark

    Shitty

  • Nay Nimley

    its a bad week to be a wack rapper (see Fabolous story)

  • Jay

    I can’t buy a dudes album who shat on himself. Wait a minute, I wasnt’ going to buy his album anyway.

    This is good promotion though. Most rappers get shot, or beat up other rappers smaller than them. Ali took it to another level.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    It’s a WRAP for Ali…

    He’s about to be ethered like Rey!

  • 28 grams

    REAL TALK

  • E.Williams

    What piece of the puzzle do you represent exactly,Bol?

  • http://XXLMag.com SouthSide Chi

    Damn Second- So Bol you live in lame ass St. Louis – That whole city is one of Chicago’s many weed carriers lol. Yeah why in the Fu$# did he admit he shitt#$ himself- I wouldn’t have admitted that- 47 times- that’s tough- If that’s not excessive force I don’t know what is.

  • Sushi K

    Shit! The new signature cologne by Bol. For men… and their men.

  • http://www.okayplayer.com Spark

    Sushi k thats funny!!!!

  • Tom

    lmao @ the pants crapper Ali. funniest shit of the week thus far.

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    I smoke weed in public. Fuk it. See the cops, stop smoking. Cops leave. Start smoking. WTF?

    He probably told the media that he shitted in his pants cuz asshole reporters (like you) will probably find a clip of it somewhere (yall probably got satalite footage rite now)..so might as well say sum now.

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    I smoke weed in public. Fuk it. See the cops, stop smoking. Cops leave. Start smoking. WTF?

    He probably told the media that he shitted in his pants cuz asshole reporters (like you) will probably find a clip of it somewhere (yall probably got satalite footage rite now)..so might as well say sum now.

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz thebestout!!

    MAN COPS AIN’T PLAYIN’ WIT’ YOU HOE ASS NOWADAYS ESPECIALLY WIT’ NIGGAS MAKIN’ SO MUCH BREAD OFF THIS RAP SHIT i MEAN SERIOUSLY HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOME CONVICTED FELON WIT’ SOME GODDAMN JUNGLE MUSIC WAS MAKIN MORE DEN’ YOU CAN EVER DREAM OF MAKIN EVEN IF YOU WAS A DIRTY COP!! THEM CATS GOTTA LOTTA BUILT UP HOSTILITY TOWARDS RAP AND RAPPERS SO WHENEVER THEY GET THE CHANCE TO STICK IT TO US (NO RZA AT THE HIP-HOP HONORS) THEY GO FOR THE GUSTO! IT’S ALL RACIST SHIT AND THEY FEEL THIER JUSTIFIED IN DOIN IT; I MEAN SHIT WE BASICALLY DID WHAT THEY DID TO US JUST IN A MORE SLICK WAY, WE WENT INTO THIER HOMES VIA BET,MTV,RADIO,INTERNET AND CORRUPTED THEIR CHILDREN; EMINEM,MILKBONE,3RDBASS,CAGE,KID ROCK,THE BEASTIE BOYS AND THEN WE WENT IN THIER POCKETS!!! YEAH HOES ALL IN YA’ SHIT!!! GIVE UP DAT’ GAUP PUSSY! SO YEAH DEY A LIL P.O.ED AT THE KIDS BUT FUCK THEM!

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    *yawn*

    *lite~z~~ blunt*

    i think i got go do an Ali in the bathroom rite now..way more entertaining….

    Dueces

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    By the way..
    Fuk the popo
    aka babylon
    aka narcz
    aka nakoz
    aka pigz
    aka dem boyz
    aka 5-0
    aka Boyz in Blue
    aka copz
    aka dah police

  • DEEZZ NUTZ

    BOL U R A DICK (LOL @ SOMETHING SMELLS SHITTY) THAT IS KIND OF FUNNY THOUGH
    ALSO LOL @ SUSHI K

  • Tyler

    Dude it don’t matter if it was 35 times or 1 time ‘dat dude call lite up. He was already in the back of the car in cuffs dawg so the officer had no right 2 go out like that, ya’ dig. Hip Hop needs 2 speak out more on the way the police is getting in our asses out here dawg as well as step up their game speaking out against the government if they really want 2 keep calling themselves Gangsta. It ain’t Gangsta when your people are getting treated like dogs. .no matter how much money one person can come up on. Do something before it’s 2 late. Peep the musical vibes at: http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmuisc
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • Danja29

    …niggas shit ya drawz…

  • DEEZZ NUTZ

    IF THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED, SHIT,(PUN INTENDED)TELL IT LIKE IT IS. THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE FACT THAT CRACKER (DIRY POLICE BLACK OR WHITE)WAS WRONG 2 LET HIS ACTIONS TURN THE SITUATION SHITTY (AGAIN, PUN INTENTED)

  • Bang

    I thought someone would die if it was 47 hits of tasering

    at least kill mad brain cells

  • Meka Soul

    he sould be promoted to “bling handler” now.

  • content

    so what’s the point of the blog?

    you could have just said Ali shitted himself and saved a lot of time.

    i don’t see anything else of note

    weak

  • Meka Soul

    Granted, the idea of a black man being repeatedly electrocuted to the point of self-defecation isn’t particularly amusing in and of itself. But anytime an adult craps his pants it is kinda funny, not to mention that this was a weed carrier who was “on duty” at the time of the incident.

    how hilariously deplorable.

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Belize Says:

    October 18th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
    I smoke weed in public. Fuk it. See the cops, stop smoking. Cops leave. Start smoking. WTF?

    ^^^yessssssirrrrrr…

    (Nate Dog Voice)
    “…smoke weed everyday…”

    Ali shoulda saved that one (the pants shitting) for later, but i guess he going for those MIL’s- cuz his Rap cred is Black History!

  • http://www.myspace.com/theanticorp SONNY CHEEBA

    Damn…

  • http://www.myspace.com/theanticorp SONNY CHEEBA

    i wonder what the nigga w/the mask in the St. Lunatics thinks about this?

    lol

  • Meka Soul

    i’m pretty sure that fucked up his day.

  • Meka Soul

    i guarantee someone’s not having the best week ever.

  • Samhain Misfit

    Not that I’m takin up for the cops or anything, theres A LOT missin from that story…They pull the nigga over and for no reason tase him OVER 20 TIMES??? BULLSHIT!!!! I dont care what anybody says…9 times outta 10, if he ran a red light or whatever, show em your licsense, take the ticket and keep it movin…big deal…you dont get TASERED just cause your ass got pulled over…5 bucks says HE brought most of that,uh…shit on HIMSELF…..

  • Mr.Me

    Funny ass post Bol but I heard that when the EMS people try to revive a unconscience person wit those shock pads that the person shits on themselves even when their unconscience… Still that nigga shoulda kept his mouth shut about personal matters like that. Ali’s not a rapper he’s a crapper.

  • content

    Ali lyin’ his ass off. there were probably a few names thrown around but that’s all. if he got tasered that many times there must be some kind of medical evidence on his back or something.

  • Malik Islam

    What exactly is a Jig, Bol?
    It really cant be short for what I think he’s inferring.

  • http://www.dmcworld.com/technics2004/video/2004dj1-100k.wvx FEEZIMORE

    Dub sack of Kronick…$100.

    Vocal Hoodie….$75.

    Rapper shitting his pants and ending his “career”…Priceless!

  • http://www.dmcworld.com/technics2004/video/2004dj1-100k.wvx FEEZIMORE

    HALF THE FUN IN FOLLOWING HIP-HOP NOW-A-DAYS IS SEEING WHO’S GONNA FALL OFF NEXT!

  • soopadoopa

    LOL when i read about this i almosted ali-ed my own pants… but seriously police brutality isnt sumthin n e body should laugh at, especially a black man. If he got tasered 47 times and only shit his draws, how times you gotta hit somebody wit that thing 2 kill them?????

    100

  • Enlightened

    Please stop using the word weed carrier. That shit is stupid as hell. If you can try to call these niggas weed carriers – what the fuck does that make you for XXL? Nigga you’re not even in the print version of the magazine.
    Did you know Ali started the St. Lunatics and if he hadn’t done what he did there’d probably be no Nelly?
    Stop being so ignorant all the time. I know you try to have a little sense of humor but be a man at the same time, weak ass nigga.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bookwormbrown bookworm brown

    Dub sack of Kronick…$100.
    ^^^^^^^

    Your getting ganked if you’re paying $100 for a dub ($20) sack of Chronic.

  • FUCKDAPOLICE

    FUCK
    DA
    POLICE!
    FUCK
    DA
    POLICE!
    FUCK EM!
    (NO REYTHEJEDI)

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    The Mighty Ducks

    In all their splendor…

    Dont let me interupt, keep going…

  • 420PURP

    FEEZIMORE HOLLA AT YO BOI MAYNE
    I GOT THAT KUSH ON DECK…LMAO
    DUB SACK OF CHRONIC COST A FUCKIN DUB(HENCE DUB SACK) YOU IDIOT… AND A FUCKIN DUB IS $20…YOU NEED TO STEP YOUR SLANG GAME UP FOR REAL…UNLESS YOUR WEEDMAN REALLY GETTING YOU LIKE THAT…IF SO YOU GOTTA BE THE STUPIDEST MUFUCKA ALIVE…UNLESS HIS DUBS IS LIKE 7 GRAMS…BUT THEN ITD BE A QUARTER…ANYWAY YOU PROLY JUST FRONTIN AND DONT EVEN SMOKE WEED JUST TRYNA BE COOL…FUCKIN LOSER!!!!
    420

  • http://www.unkut.com Robbie

    This is an histoic moment in Weed Carrier history.

  • http://www.rapforums.com Zeke Carew

    oh shit!

  • SHITTYSIDE

    Off the subject but, does anyone knows Lloyd Banks first week numbers.

  • Spark

    Montreal Canadiens

  • Spark

    SHITTYSIDE Says:

    October 18th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
    Off the subject but, does anyone knows Lloyd Banks first week numbers.

    ask Superman he’s on his dick

  • SONNY CHEEBA

    Lloyd “The Mummy” Banks did140,00 the 1st week…

    not bad, but BAD in comparison to the 400,000 1stweek he did last time

  • 123

    LMFAO

    This nigga shit on himself cuz he thought he was going to jail, where real niggaz be at. Ali is a fuckin’ pussy, that’s the real reason he shit on himself.

  • Joopset

    I cant imagine you read the comments once you pass like the 35th one. The other post yesterday or w/e had like 250 comments. WTF?

  • SHITTYSIDE

    so all Banks might get is gold maybe a little more 700,000 range??

  • e

    It would only be racist if they tasered Nelly. Its a known fact weedcarriers don’t count as real people.

  • e

    he sould be promoted to “bling handler” now.

    ^^^^^
    That title isn’t just given away its the holy grail of “weed carrying”

    Ali has to find a cure for cancer or something of equal importance to truly become a “bling handler”

  • 2Pacs Lil Homie

    I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY NIGGAZ IN THE U.S. CALL THEMSELVES AMERICAN. C SINCE 9/11 YALL BEEN CALLIN’ YO’SELVES AMERICANS. AND AMERICA AKA WHITES NEED THAT SUPPORT, ONCE NIGGAZ OR NIGGERS HAVE SERVED THAT PURPOSE ITS RIGHT BACK TO BEIN NIGGAZ AND TREATED AS SUCH.

    WHEN U R IN THE HOOD U R A NIGGA BUT WHEN U R A CELEBRITY U BECOME AN AMERICAN. KEEP IT REAL – STAY BLACK.

    AND WHY GET 2GETHA WITH YOUR OPPRESSOR – THE WHITE MAN – TO OPPRESS ANOTHA NON-WHITE/BLACK GROUP IN SOCIETY – THE ARABS. TUPAC WOULD BE REAL PROUD OF U NIGGAZ. IM SOUTH AFRICAN AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT GROW UP IN SOUTH AFRICA I STILL LAY CLAIM TO THAT NO MATTER WHAT NOBODY SAY. IM BLACK TIL LA DEATH, CUZ I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS 2 B BLACK IN THE WEST.

  • 2Pacs Lil Homie

    AND WHY GET 2GETHA WITH YOUR OPPRESSOR – THE WHITE MAN – TO OPPRESS ANOTHA NON-WHITE/BLACK GROUP IN SOCIETY – THE ARABS. TUPAC WOULD BE REAL PROUD OF U NIGGAZ. IM SOUTH AFRICAN AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT GROW UP IN SOUTH AFRICA I STILL LAY CLAIM TO THAT NO MATTER WHAT NOBODY SAY. IM BLACK TIL LA DEATH, CUZ I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS 2 B BLACK IN THE WEST.

  • TAGO JONES

    I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY NIGGAZ IN THE U.S. CALL THEMSELVES AMERICAN. C SINCE 9/11 YALL BEEN CALLIN’ YO’SELVES AMERICANS. AND AMERICA AKA WHITES NEED THAT SUPPORT, ONCE NIGGAZ OR NIGGERS HAVE SERVED THAT PURPOSE ITS RIGHT BACK TO BEIN NIGGAZ AND TREATED AS SUCH.

    WHEN U R IN THE HOOD U R A NIGGA BUT WHEN U R A CELEBRITY U BECOME AN AMERICAN. KEEP IT REAL – STAY BLACK.

  • FRANK

    he’ll probably shit on himself when they hit him with those millions in court.

  • 160jordansdeep

    Jigs lol

  • NickeNitro

    Torture isn’t ever funny. It isn’t funny that racist cops test the boundaries of physical aggression with their latest weaponry on black men. It isn’t funny that black men have to walk the streets in fear that this could happen to them at anytime. It isn’t funny that this sick, sadistic cop will probably face minimal repurcussions and will be back out on the street “protecting and serving” soon.

    You’re also a dork for being so anti-weed and pro-war on drugs. “Look, they’re breaking the LAW! Oh-no!” Who cares if other people get high in their free time? They’re not hurting anyone. I’m sorry you never felt accepted by the people you categorized as being “stoners.” Move on and stop being a bitter hater.

    I’m guessing Blogging is your Anti-drug, or something.

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    Meka Soul Says:

    October 18th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
    i guarantee someone’s not having the best week ever.

    ^LMFAO..i feel a “FLAVVVAAA FLAVVV “moment! haaaa

  • http://XXL BIG GEE

    Point well taken Bol. These weed carriers are getting limped up pretty bad whether its stabbing, shooting, etc. I wonder who will be the next culprit? Only time will tell…

  • che

    nigga stop frontin, you’re elliot wilson’s weed carrier so i don’t know what the fuck you’re so proud of.

  • DJ Lucky Luke

    Chris Rock’s mom gets poor customer service and causes a nationwide ruckus. This dude gets tasered til he shits himself and I’ve heard not one word about it. Dude’s just a pants-crapper if you ask me.

  • SUPERMAN

    ROOM DONT RESPOND TO SONNY CHEETAH AND FERNANDO. THESE DUDES THINK THEYRE HIP HOP PHILOSOPHERS ALWAYS QUOTING PEOPLE AND TALKING LIKE THEYRE SCHOLARS FROM YALE OR SOME SHIT. THEYRE NOTHING MORE BUT E-40 BUMPERS. JUST ASK FERNADO.

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    Fernando and Sonny Cheeba are two of the maest people in existence

  • The DJ Formerly Known as N-CREDIBLE

    lamest

  • tC

    Couldn’t uses that dome-like melon of yours to write about something meaningful uh?

  • Lou-E

    Bol I thought this post was about you! (No HOMO) LOL LOL

  • babyboy

    Bol give me a fuckin break, didnt u have some shit 2 write about, apart from dis crap azz article? u coyuld have at least diss some muslims, 2 entertain some of us, or Cassie the person u love 2 hate

  • http://myspace.com/legacyhiphop Belize

    Bol looks like he eats roaches 4 protein

  • http://aramhiphopetc.blogspot.com/ I Fux

    Bol is a bitch

  • http://www.myspace.com/poisonousdarthfc Poisonous Dart

    Bol, I can’t get past you using the word “jigs” like you’re not Black yourself. It reminds me of that Armstrong Williams (you know, the famous self hating negro) article where he kept referring to his subject as a “dusky African” like five times.

    The frequency with which you use it and the WAY you use it irks me…like you’re trying to separate yourself with who you’re writing about…no, fam…with every word you write you’re telling us more about the kind of self hating Black man you must be…Stop with that “jigs” shit…not just you, EVERYBODY. One.

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  • sasha

    north county is pretty dark. that’s the ‘ethnic’ end of st. louis. i LOVE it!

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