Why Fat Joe and Jadakiss can’t make it

Here's a thought: If hip-hop is ever going to break out of its current commercial rut, it should probably work on making itself more attractive to a female audience.

Last week or maybe a couple of weeks ago I did a story on how a generation of young cracka-ass crackas is turning its collective back on hip-hop, but that's only part of the story. If you notice, most of these young bands being embraced by the tall Israelis at Viacom appeal primarily to women.

I don't get to kick it with high school kids as often as I'd like (no John Wayne Gacey), but I can't imagine that very many guys that age are into gay-ass bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic! At the Disco. xxlmag.com's own "Rey" would be an obvious exception, but he's not even that young.

And if you notice, all of the top-selling albums these days are by the kind of artists who would appeal primarily to women. While rap albums by artists like the Roots and Method Man are struggling to sell 60,000 copies, Beyonce's Bi'det album did something like 600,000 copies its first week out.

Ironically, most of this crap is written and produced by men, which is why you don't see the likes of Timbaland, DJ Premier, and Will.i.am passing around a hat lest the bank end up forclosing on their daddy's house. It's the rappers themselves who are suffering more so than anyone else.

Watching XXL's new DVD, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit (no SexyBack) as Fiddy revealed how he worried whether or not his new weed carrier Hot Rod would be attractive enough to sell very many records. Beyond just how cynical it all was, it also struck me as rather teh ghey.

But maybe Fiddy does have a point: As much as we criticize him for posing with his shirt off and making so many songs for the bitches, he does happen to be the best-selling rapper out right now.

Could the real reason Fat Joe and Jadakiss can't sell any records be attributed to the fact that one is a huge, Michelin Man-looking Puerto Rican and the other one looks like a Ninja Turtle? After all, it's not like both of them haven't made their share of songs for the bitches as well.