After Tara Henley published her post yesterday about how online hip-hop media is ruining the genre, while print hip-hop media has important business relationships with artists in New York and Atlanta (?), she fired off an email letting me know that a) she wasn't going after me in her post and b) she's still in love with me.

I think she was worried that I would stop liking her, especially after the bit about how she thinks celebrity commenter Meka Soul should have his own blog here. You know how girls get. But why should I give a shit about him having a blog here one way or the other? I've already had my own blog here since March.

Ripping off all your stories
from okayplayer has its privileges...

Also, it's pretty obvious that her whole entire post was about me. Not that I can blame the girl for thinking about me constantly, but the post was so full of bullshit (her head was obviously clouded with thoughts of us "being together") that I'm not even sure where to begin debunking it. I suppose the beginning will work.

The first problem with online hip-hop media compared to other forms of media: We publish way too often. This was my first clue that she was really talking about me[1]. Who else other than R. Crumb's brother writes nearly as much as I do? Would xxlmag.com really be better off if I had the work ethic of a Tara Henley or, god forbid, a DJ Drama? If I spent an entire month thinking about yesterday's story on hip-hop and the men's rights movement, it probably wouldn't have come out much different than it did yesterday, when I spent 15 minutes thinking about it. I'm just good like that.

The second problem with online hip-hop media compared to other forms of media: We're far too sarcastic. Which I took as her being upset with me constantly referring to her as my baby's mother. (The idea of hip-hop being ruined because some guy on the Internet was being too sarcastic is pretty far-fetched even by her own standards.) My bad, Tara. For what it's worth, I doubt that anyone who ever read that would actually think that the two of us have produced any offspring. (Yet.) With the kind of life I prefer to lead, it's not like I could have any kids anyway. Granted, I know you've got important business relationships with artists in both New York and Atlanta, but raising a child costs real money, not just the kind you produce in your own imagination.

The third problem with online hip-hop media compared to other forms of media: People keep showing up in the comments section asking for naked pictures of Tara. Admittedly, this needs to stop. Guys, which do you think is actually more likely to get Tara to finally post some naked pictures of herself - a) 15 or 20 anonymous kids in the comment section with no talent for writing, or b) one guy who's already had an intimate phone conservation with her and might have a certain facility for smooth talking a lady? Fall back and let me handle this one. If we play our cards right, I might be able to get us pictures of both herself and Eternia.

Do I need to remind you all of what's at stake here?

[1] Other than, of course, the extra-sensory connection that develops between two people who have such a close relationship. (I could sort of feel it when I woke up yesterday.)