And this ain't even that LP.

One of the greatest rapper walk, I'm sayin'
In the field makin' my brick without hay and
Mad busy, kid--loud whip cut in
"You, boy, drop your bundle bring your butt in"
A soldier, what I do to that hood?
"Are you that slave everybody tell me rap good?
Calm down, not goin' ta murder ya
Clean yourself, Pharoah said he wanna have a word with ya"
My mom, pop, look concerned
After takin' a shower, dress and returned
The soldier, kinda on the dark end
Brought me and the motherfucking palace was barkin'
In the midst, a poet, dryin'
Pharoah and his girl being entertained by him
Motherfucker got some nerve
Said, "Bring slave forward, let me observe"
He asked me my name and start badger me
"Ricky, what?"
Ricky, your majesty
And bowed because I had to
"Kick a rap--that shit better sound phat, too"

Who rotten 'em?
Plaits swing, but have you forgot that I'm the biggest big shot since King Tut?
Kids fill, motherfucker couldn't sit still
All bitches is open off Rick's grill
Definetly exort, any stalkin'
Hawk gawkin' at silk fabrics when I'm walkin'
Fondle with right, yet, spec get delighted
All of that jungle shit whites rip

"He's phat," Queen said to the Pharoah excited and
Did seem obvious the rap delighted him
Then start banging on appliance
"Yes your honor?"
"Send this other rapper to the lions"
Please, no, pleaing with merit
If you kill him for my sake, my raps will be disparate
Please let him live, I prefer that
"Okay, well, send him where this slave used to work at"
Do or die jammin' me into
Even was allowed to move the family in, too
Any beat better rap good on
Even gave me mad nice outfits to put on
Knowing that my rap stlye bumped many
And expecting some important company
The King visits where I was put to write
"Slave, your behind better rap real good tonight
In other words: lay your mack down
'Cause these cats not the one to sound wack 'round"
So that night, when they summons me wit' clappin'
Took a deep breath and then began rappin':

Tryna find out what excite, what I write
What ignite with
Lion never once tried to bite Rick
Excusely assumed to meek
Refused to greet a smoother geek
Just move ya feet
Shocked, all dippin' and stoppin'
Even slave owner wanted me to whip him and fuck 'im
Shakin' any prison, kickin' back, sick of crap
Ancestor breakin' when a nigga rap

Well it was obvious the raps I'm pluggin'
Dignitaries spat wine out they mouth, buggin'
'Cause they never heard that type a' tactic
Gold sandles all over their fat steps
One dignitary overwhelmed, he said
"I'll give you half the eastern border if you sell him"
Back at the rest spot to nap a bit
Ma! Pa! They delighted with the rap I did!
"Son", my mom said sweepin' up
"That lunatic'll kill you if you don't keep it up"
What's wrong with you?
"Son, I'm not scornin' you
Leave your best for a rainy day, I'm warnin' you"
Ripped my ego apart
So I set upon a mission to change the King heart
Sire, whippin' don't pay off
A lot more done you give a nigga one day off
He took my advice, 'stead a yell again
Sir noticed that my input was accurate intelligence
That type meant a stripe, kids
Even after he died, I still write raps like this:

All teacher and scholar try proceed me, believe me
I am all culture that you need be
And superior juice to abuse, I choose
Use words racist slave owner used
Sandwich known crook, redbone hook, too
Got his own language and own look, too
Not only ass wipes, swept sidekick
Shaka and them niggas even try to dress like Rick


All of you cock-pullers are frontin'
Wave your arms around like you're some octopus or somethin'
To better ya
For any chick you want, I'm gettin' her
Rob people, mad ignorant, et cetera
Who the one to entertain and fume with?
Who you know breed humans can't be in the same room with?
Reefer sweet, wrap it up, free fix greet
Every rapper rap maggot underneath Rick's feet
Why you tryin to find shit to lick with?
Even your kids tell you that you ain't shit to Slick Rick
Though you pretend to be glory
I'm number one, that's the end of the story
The black Clark Gable leave you numb
Every single one frontin on your label is a bum
Let me slow it down, that's enough of that
This I have to say, to you: "nothing" other rapper cats

He's so crazy
I smash, rippin' up the place
Give a mack a taste
I wipe my ass with a rapper face
Cars come to a dead stop
Rain find ways not to drop on my headtop
Tycoon rush at the richest
Even my complexion is a must-have to bitches
Even without car money to budget
I would have the most elegant apartment in the projects
Bitches are in awe at the lingo
Know that Rick'll put an end to all rapper income
An old-timer
Lock up all vagina fields
France nor Italy can fuck with my designer skills
Saltin' inferior, faultin' to where we are
Tryin to find fault in superior
Let me slow it down, that's enough of that
This I have to say to you: "nothing" other rapper cats

You lack the taste hook I'm stickin' em with
While degenrates like yourself make our race look ignorant
And your girlfriend wanna kiss and deploy
Bout in the groin gets none of this tenderloin
Feet planted on deep black firmament
In the presence of who lead rap permanent
Like a lion rap rips a chunk of kids
You stunk, 'cause mortals ain't shit to conquer
Somebody said new pharoahs have appeared
How, when everything I wore ten years ago you wear now?
I coulda murder heard a word out quick Rick stomp it, kid
Hung to it, you complete bum to Rick
Source Awards yell "Rick" every seminar
Even make Sadaam Hussein tell me where the weapon are
Let me slow it down, that's enough of that
This I have to say to you: "nothing" other rapper cats


Adults-Only Bonus:

Well, let us skip the boring foreplay, I'm slidin' right in
This girl over my house who had to be about 19
Ass, holdin' my poster
She's sweatin' although she tried to hold her composure
I hope she take it in the ass and suck dick
"My, my what a nice apartment you got, Rick"
On her knees, about to make her fault
"All platinum, gold gems hangin' on the wall, too
You got it goin' on"
Now my mouth start foamin'
The lights dim we're kissin' and my hands start roamin' in her drawers
She was jokin'
'Cause ain't even fuck her and her pussy was soaking
Already had her tit out
If I play my cards right, fuck her then I hole she shit out
"Rick, I gotta go--my girl's waitin'"
She recaps, finally when honey drawers down to her kneecaps
Breathed heavy all mushy
Bitch swore up and down I was gonna fuck her in the pussy
Since friends waitin', all subtle
'Bout time to make a move upon the honey little butthole
Meanwhile she act quite passive
Lickin the hun neck while lotionin' the ass with jelly
Tear hun out the frame, nigga loco
Surprised honey didnt put up too much of a struggle
At first
Sinkin' in, she aint know how to be
The bitch went,
"Ahhah, Rick! It hurts--take it out of me!"
Knocked my magazine down, bitch threw my papers
You wanna keep it down? I mean, I do have neighbors
Squirmin' away although the table was barrin' her
Felt real good, my dick was sunk so far in her
She said it felt like a bulldozer bore in her
Squealin' about she couldnt take it anymore in her
My cum downin', straightened the perm in her hair
As I drained every last drop of sperm in her rear
So girls when we kiss and we cuddle, ain't no way to put it subtle
When I want the butthole

Another girl I met, her experience vast because
Most girls wit' kids done been hit in they ass before
Picked her up, son said
"Don't be late for dinner, ma"
Bringin' honey home from the date at the cinema
Thinkin' how to fuck the asshole, plottin'
Blown in the elevator, hit the stop button
She smiles, not knowin' her butt I wanna bore
I said,
Can I have a kiss now instead of front of your front door?

.. .Although The Ruler tried not to push hard
I'm all over the bitch like an octopus
Deep down I know she also wanna fuck
Though I kept my tounge in her mouth so not to put her on the spot
To have to talk no shit to prevent me from bonin'
Unzap the bra when the hooker start moanin'
And expose my espresso, suck on her and lick on her
Unbucklin', pullin out, mad longdick her
Panties in the way of that butt I want to check it out
Slipped her wet drawers down her thigh and took her leg out
Her butt was juicy, kinda fat
Spun around start to stick her in the pussy from the back
She came, mad juice dripped out
Still in the pussy then acted like it slipped out
Cum on the floor, she said, "Pardon the puddle"
Spread open her cheeks, pushed hard in her butthole
...Wasn't a bad date at all, she went "Ahhhh!"
Start crawlin' up the elevator wall
While I'm still penetratin'
Felt fantastic
She said, "Rick I'm not really into this ass kick!"
Meanwhile Rick cummin' by the gallon
Put your hands on the wall please and try an' keep your balance
Lickin' the grill o her, meanwhile fillin' her
'Til sperm start pourin' out her butthole while I'm still in her
Then start rammin' the pine in her
I almost picked her up with these final grinds in her
So girls when we kiss and we cuddle
Ain't no way to put it subtle when I want the butthole


(a) If you think I need to say it, you must be it.