The 80’s Baby Epidemic Is Spreading
I logged on the allhiphop forums today and saw a “70s Baby vs. 80s baby” thread. A tear almost came to my eye when I saw that the crack baby movement is expanding. It was masterminded by AHH poster “Poisonous Dart” and became a upped thread in no time. I might never have to do the last installment of the “Reasons You’re Not An 80’s Baby” after all. Number 43 is my favorite because you 70’s infants talk about that year like YOU made the millions off of crack. From all the 80’s Babies PD, we salute you. Long live the 8-E’s Babies!
My favorite ones are bolded
100 Ways To Know If You’re a 70’s Baby aka I’m Too Old For This Shit! By Poisonous Dart
100. You remember when BET was in Washington, D.C. and Rap City went from 60 minutes to 90 minutes.99. You used to switch back and forth between Yo! MTV Raps and Rap City to see who would play your favorite jam first…or just to wait for Ed Lover to stop actin’ a damn fool…or whenever they played a No Face video.98. You remember the purple and yellow flipping letters on Rap City and you’d recognize Da Mayor Chris Thomas, Prime, Prince Dajour, Big Lez and Joe Clair on a crowded street even to this day.97. You recognize Parliament/Funkadelic, Ohio Players, and Isley Brothers album covers…you used to use them as dustpans.
96. You remember Diddy from back when he was dancin’ his ass off in Fine Young Cannibals, Doug E. Fresh and Heavy D. & The Boyz videos.
95. If you actually considered sending in answers to the questions asked on De La Soul’s “3 Feet High And Rising”.
94. You were a fan of Positive K’s BEFORE “I Got A Man” came out…or you had a dance/routine that you did whenever your Nintendo games didn’t play right away.
93. If you even KNEW who Johnny Gill was before he was in New Edition or if punchlines like “I run trains in my living room like Ricky Stratton” or “my gat make you do back flips like Willis Drummond” actually impress you..
92. If you know all of the dialogue to “Style Wars”,” Wild Style”,” Beat Street”,” rush Groove” and “House Party”.
91. If you even KNOW who Paul C., Mantronix or Ced Gee are/were or the first porno you ever watched actually had a storyline and ill live music being played all throughout it.
90. If you thought that Kool Moe Dee got at LL Cool J with “How Ya Like Me Know”
89. If you thought that LL bodied Kool Moe Dee with “Jack The Ripper”
88. If you thought that Kool Moe Dee bodied LL Cool J with “Let’s Go’
87. If you thought that LL bodied Kool Moe Dee with “To The Break Of Dawn” and “Mama Said Knock You Out”
86. If you even heard or REMEMBER Kool Moe Dee’s response “Death Blow” off of his last album.
85. If you even know who Donovan “The Dirt Biker” or Joe “The Butcher” Niccolo are…or you used to subscribe to “Nintendo Power” and treat the monthly “Top 30” like Source mics.
84. If you can name any of the dancers for Queen Latifah, MC Lyte or Kwame.
83. You ever actually thought Mic Geronimo might be able to give Nas a run for his money.
82. You used to buy and read The Source back when it was ACTUALLY “The Hip Hop Bible” or you used to get heated in lunchtable discussions about Nintendo vs. Sega.
81. You could do the Kid N’ Play kick step (Don’t front, you know they had you open, kid!).
80. You used to have arguments about who was better, Big Daddy Kane, Kool G. Rap or Rakim?
79. You remember back when mainstream America didn’t know who the hell Will Smith was (You mean The Fresh Prince?)…and you remember every contributor to The Source from 1990-1998 (when you stopped reading it).
78. You brag about being an MF Doom fan from back in the days and even still have one of the 100,000 purchased KMD “Mr. Hood” tapes/CD’s.
77. You were checkin’ for The Fugees back when “Boof Bap” dropped off of L Boogie’s verse…if it took you until “Nappy Heads” and “Vocab” you still get credit, though.
76. You know that Mos Def was in a group called Urban Thermo Dynamics before he went solo.
75. You thought that/still believe that Marley Marl is the greatest producer alive.
74. You remember back when Run DMC were the hottest group on the face of the Earth…and you thought you were the shit when you finally beat Legend Of Zelda.
73. The simple utterance of the phrase “Fresh Fest” makes you start smiling uncontrollably.
72. You hear a classic joint from 1986-1989 come on the radio in your car and you turn it up and make a point to tell all the 80’s and 90’s babies in the vehicle that “This is that REAL hip hop!”
71. You go off on a Bill Cosbyesque rant when they call it wack, roll their eyes and say some shit to you like “Rakim’s a’ight, but he ain’t no Lil’ Wayne!”
70. You only listen to certain radio stations and only at certain times because “The radio makes you sad/sick to your stomach”…and you wonder what ever happened to Sean J. Period.
69. You are an active poster on Okayplayer.com…and you still spell “jiggy” Zhigge.
68. You are a lurker on AllHipHop.com…until someone disses The Beatnuts production..then you log in with the quickness and put the verbal smackdown on those fools!
67. You read the XXL blogs and post these long ass angry responses to them, not realizing that the authors don’t care what you wrote and no one else bothered to read it anyways.
66. You ever own/ed any of the following: A Rawkus T shirt, Rawkus slipmats or a Rawkus vinyl bag and you answer hip hop questions in a stickied thread on AllHipHop.com’s Ill Community.
65. You know every 12” (complete with catalog numbers!) released by the following indie labels: Rawkus, Fondle Em, Dolo, and Hydra…and you been a Jeru The Damaja fan since “I’m The Man”.
64. You knew about Jean Grae back when she was called What? What? and she was down with Natural Resource.
63. You have Bobitto Garcia as a MySpace friend…and the first time you heard B.I.G. was as a guest on a Heavy D track..
62. If you have ever uttered the phrase “Ain’t NOBODY seeing Pharoahe Monch on the mic, son!”
61. If you were wearing a 2 Black Guys Gear jersey, a Carhartt skully with Carhartt overalls and Hi-Teks on when you said it…and you don’t hesitate to correct people that misspell his name (I do that myself).
60. If you know how many (and which) Inspectah Deck verses got him the Hip Hop Quotable in The Source….
59. You own a copy of Akinyele’s “Vagina Diner” and you think “Cool V’s Tribute To Scratching” is an underrated instrumental.
58. If you go online to buy re-issued Just-Ice, JVC Force and T La Rock CD’s and you know what Chubb Rock’s publishing company was called (Schematics Publishing).
57. You can name all 3 of EPMD’s DJ’s…and you actually KNOW who Mr. Bozack is. (Who?)
56. If you make the dude at the record store take a mini hip hop quiz to properly test his knowledge before even asking him a goddamn question.
55. You used to watch the “Around The Way Girl” video just for the white girl to make sure she didn’t miss a step…if she did, you didn’t want her no more (or so you told yourself).
54. If you ever worn a pair of Cross Colours, Kik Wear, Walker Wear or Karl Kani jeans.
53. You will argue with every fiber of your being that Heavy D’s best album was “Blue Funk”.
52. You know who Trouble T. Roy was and you actually remember MC Trouble (R.I.P.).
51. You know that there were two different Spinderellas…but you only wanted to smash (or be like) ONE of them.
50. You’re still waiting on a new Rakim and Slick Rick album…and you considered Cappadonna to be a beast on the mic at one point in time.
49. You bought Del’s “I Wish My Brother George Was Here” and you’ve been a Hieroglyphics Crew fan ever since.
48. You’ve known of Jay-Z since “Hawaiian Sophie” and ”The Originators”…and your favorite Jay-Z album is STILL Reasonable Doubt.
47. You used to DANCE to Brand Nubian, Public Enemy and Poor Righteous Teachers songs.
46. You remember back when Jive was an underground hip hop label…and you can name all of D Nice’s singles.
45. You thought that Lisa Turtle from “Saved By The Bell” (Lark Voorhies) was the baddest chick around…until you saw Tisha Campbell on “Rags To Riches”..and when you were a kid it was Jayne Kennedy .
44. You thought EPMD would really body somebody if it came down to it…and you used to have to adjust the antennae on your TV so you could get a picture…you used to use the horizontal and vertical hold buttons as LAST RESORTS.
43. You REMEMBER 1988! And you mantain that Jalil from Whodini rhymed off beat on purpose.
42. You used to watch Speed Racer, Star Blazers, Force Five, Captain Harlock, Robotech, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Silverhawks, M.A.S.K., Jem and Voltron….and cartoons didn’t even come on past 6 PM…unless it was a holiday.41. You own Sadat X solo projects…and you can play them straight through without skipping tracks.40. You thought that there was something VERY WRONG with LL Cool J’s dome (Why else does he rock those hats?)40. You thought that there was something VERY WRONG with LL Cool J’s dome (Why else does he rock those hats?)39. At one point you thought that the Fat Boys and Whodini were THE SHIT!
40. You thought that there was something VERY WRONG with LL Cool J’s dome (Why else does he rock those hats?)39. At one point you thought that the Fat Boys and Whodini were THE SHIT!38. If you know that Jermaine Dupri produced Sylk Tymes Leather and Javier & The Str8jackets BEFORE Kriss Kross….and you make sure to point him out to any 80’s and 90’s babies in the “Freaks Come Out At Night” video.
37. You think that Doug E. Fresh’s “Summertime” was better than Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince’s and you still cop Boot Camp Click albums the Tuesday they drop.
36. You HATE the fact that people didn’t know that Snap! jacked “The Power” from Chill Rob G…but you’ll tell anyone who’ll listen the exact second somebody starts jammin’ to it that doesn’ t know any better!
35. You can name EVERY member of the Flavor Unit and you have EVERY Roots album…even “Organix”!
34. You know all of the words to “Roxanne, Roxanne” by UTFO…and you remember the Roxanne battles like they were yesterday.
33. You tend to get heated when people neglect to mention Full Force when they list all time greatest production teams.
32. You can call out what Prince/Prince produced song Pharrell and Timberland jacked a certain part/sound from.
31. It pisses you off that people slept on De La Soul’s “The Grind Date” and Masta Ace’s “A Long Hot Summer”.
30. You will defend the Ultramagnetic MC’s weird ass songs and lyrics to the death….and you prefer the Boondocks comic strip to the cartoon because it’s “more serious” and Caesar is in it (and you refuse to write the phrase “no homo” after statements like the one I just typed) .
29. If you ever did the “East Coast Stomp” or know all of the words to every Das Efx song.
28. If Ice Cube was the man up until he released “Lethal Injection”…then he fell the fuck off in your opinion.
27. You used to watch BET back when it had “Video Soul”, “Video LP”, “Screen Scene”, “Video Vibrations”,”BET News” and “Teen Summit”…and a gang of infomercials.
26. You saw Juice and New Jack City in the theatre…and you remember when Eddie Murphy was considered funny.
25. You saw “Hollywood Shuffle” and “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka” back when the 70’s jokes were actually still relevent.
24. You remember back when KRS One was “The Teacher” and people actually BOUGHT his albums.
23. If you REALLY, TRULY do believe in your heart of hearts that record sales don’t matter.
22. You have a tough time putting Nas and Jay-Z ahead of Rakim, KRS One, Kool G Rap or Big Daddy Kane on your Top 5 List.
21. You remember back when you first heard Lords Of The Underground’s “Psycho” on the radio and you thought they were bitin’ Das Efx…and you own an original copy of “Self Destruction” or “We’re All In The Same Gang” on vinyl.
20. You are actually aware that Jeru The Damaja and The Fugees and Treach and YZ had beef at one point in time and you can explain the chronology of it all in detail.
19. You fix your favorite rappers from back in the days Wikipedia entries due to the fact that “they left too much important stuff out”.
18. Your favorite all time Dr. Dre beats are Whirlwind Pyramid and Dayz Of Wayback.
17. You have EVERY Slum Village release whether it be official or unofficial…and you’re waiting intently on the new D’Angelo and Maxwell to drop…anytime now…Anybody seen Bilal?
16. You remember back when you used to have trouble telling Tony Dofat and Pete Rock’s beats apart.
15. You remember back when mixtapes were actually TAPES..Kid Capri, DJ S&S, DJ Ron G, Doo Wop and Tony Touch were KILLIN’ THE GAME…until DJ Clue showed up…Stop talkin’ over the tracks!
14. You copped “Enter The 36 Chambers”, “Enta Da Stage” and “Illmatic” and let the tape rock until the tapes popped!
13. You search for your favorite old videos and YouTube and add them to your favorites…you’re pushing 250 already after 5 days of searching.
12. You first heard the name Faith Newman WAY BEFORE Nas’ “Driven” aired on VH1.
11. You actually know who Jarobi is…and you can explain his role in A Tribe Called Quest in detail.
10. You’re favorite 2Pac albums are “2Pacalypse Now” and “Strictly For My N.I.G.G.A.Z”….and of course the Makaveli one!
9. You had a NES, SNES, Sega Master System, Genesis or Turbo Grafx 16 growing up.
8. If you have those same emulators on your computer NOW and play Tecmo Bowl on your laptop for mad long rather than cop an Xbox 360.
7. Pete Rock & CL Smooth are your G.O.A.T. hip hop duo…and DJ Quik and Battlecat are WAY underrated as producers.
6. You often get into online arguments about Lord Finesse, Large Professor and DJ Premier’s place in hip hop history.
5. You play old SWV and En Vogue songs because girl groups suck now…and you think Cassie’s video ain’t shit but the wack version of ”The Pleasure Principle”.
4. You STILL miss Jodeci and maintain to this day that NO R&B groups can fuck with them.
3. The Jungle Brothers will FOREVER hold a special place in your heart.
2. You are waiting on the Vinia Mojica solo album to this day!
1. The most obvious way to know that you’re a 70’s baby: You read all of this shit, had your memory joggged/reminisced and laughed several times while doing it.
Big shout to Mr. I’ll Make You Famous aka Sick The Kid A & R, Sickamore for inspiring this blog in the first place. Keep on grindin’ fam! The 90’s babies will have YOU spazzin’ out on ‘em in about 8-10 years…Trust me!