Shut ‘Em, Shut ‘Em Down

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I may be speaking beyond my ken right now because I don’t watch Flavor of Love outside of what’s made available by the creative communists who support the greatest, most subversive technological convergence to hit les internetes this year. And I’m quite sure that the whole “Reality TV will usher the downfall of society a la MySpace” argument is older than Lil’ Wayne. But still.

For the love of Barney, I implore you all to boycott ignore Flavor of Love.

Now, save for Apartheid-related music conglomerates founded by elusive megalomanics, I usually don’t go around interfering with how anyone makes their money. As a wise man once said, what you eat don’t make me shiite.

. . .Unless you’re Cassie or Paris Hilton, in which case the sonic miscreations that come out of your maws do, indeed, induce bowel movement. In that case, I have to speak my peace: Them tricks can’t sing.

Yet, I digress.

Recently, a friend referred to Season 2 of Foofy Fool’s show as “a train wreck holding a nuclear bomb smashing into a girl scout troop holding baby kittens. . . then somebody takes a dump on the wreckage.” This prosaic summary was offered as reason (apology?) to his addiction to said coon and hoochie extravaganza.

Now, I won’t front like there’s not some primal allure to the show, but here’s thing one: Watching, supporting, promoting this sort of crap sends a message to the checkwriters that this is the type of garbage we’re willing to accept as entertainment—which, sooner or later, results in a whole lot of bad rap music.

Maybe it’s not a coincidence that the increased decline in quality rap damned-near mirrors the ascension of celebreality. Maybe it is. But I’m pretty sure that Viacom’s not gonna sweat airing that Pack video if they’re too busy counting the residuals off all the human freakfests they air on their “music” channels.

Here’s thing two: You don’t have to watch Flavor of Love to support it. Your YouTube clicks, blog posts, IM icons, turning these opportunistic tramps into quasi-celebrities—all of that promotes the show. (By Zeus, even I’m promoting the stupidity right now.) You think VH1 gives a baboon’s nipple if you watch it “ironically”?

Seriously, children. You don’t want to see 50 Cent on the cover of XXL anymore? Don’t buy it when he’s on the cover. Yellow’s told you how he thinks and I’ve known dude long enough to know there ain’t much that’s gonna make him fix what ain’t broke.

You don’t want generic trap rapper #8,067? Work to spend more time supporting the artists you like and less hating on those you don’t like. I’m pretty sure that human excrement like Puff Diddy doesn’t care how many people dissed Cassie this week—that trick name was ringin’ bells.

I say just ignore Foofy Fool and the whores on his show. Unless such tomfoolery is your bag. Then I just don’t know what to say.

P.S.— I had put up the new Obie Trice mixtape the other day, but our “site upgrades” ate my post, so here it is again. I hear from Hits Daily Double (via NahRight) that he’s gonna be doing dumb, deaf and blind numbers first week out, but maybe we can get him one of those Maroon 5 deals.

  • Heat_Seeker

    dare I say….First!!!

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    I hate Flavor of Love, and for some reason everyone I know insists on telling me about it.

  • Pro-Rican

    Falvor of Love is like Jerry Springer. Once people relize (sp) that it’s fake, Flav is broke, the bitchs DON’T LIKE HIM OR FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE AT ALL and ther will never be a bitch as bad as hoopz on there. Then again why not watch for Flav sake. Real Talk what would he be doing with out the show. Chuck D has a fanbase outside of music; now falv does too and he stop smokin rocks

  • DJ Lucky Luke

    If ever a negro needed to die of a drug overdose–it is Flava Flav…

  • Nigeria

    Seeing the title I thought this would be an Onyx comeback post, ah well I can only dream.

    I just started watching the first season and even though it is filled with coonery and buffonery, I can’t take my eyes of the screen. Its just to funny in a post-post modern non-funny way as the hipsters would say.

  • http://nahright.com eskay

    worst. show. ever.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    Supposedly DJ Quik, Juicy J and DJ Paul are gonna be on an episode.

    That would be worth a peep.

  • I Fux

    Hoopz was the hottest smartest bitch

  • Belize

    I also Gotta admit – I watch Flav’s show in the 1st season-aint watched the 2nd -even though my nigga said sum girl SHIT HER PANTS (i still wanna see that-no dookie love)

    But it is a degrading show-but i still got luv 4 FLAVVVAAA FLAAYYYV…get ur paper pymp..shyt i would

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    yeah when i heard a bitch shitted on the steps in the mansion, i figured it was a good time to ignore one of those ridiculous vh1 shows.

  • Danja29

    That white chick BuckWild… from the mean streets of “Rancho Cucamonga”… has to be the most annoying broad in the history of reality TV. And yes, this is a dumb ass show.

  • Mr.Me

    “You don’t want generic trap rapper #8,067″

    ^^Funny shit…or “you dont want generic backpack mc #178,905,006″

    Flav’s show make me wanna resign my blackness (I’ll still hold on to my nigga-ness for a rainy day). All the young white kids at work love it an always talk about it on Monday morning, but I aint really feelin it like that. This niggas eatin KFC every 6 minutes as if all black folks order is the crispy or spicey buckets. Shit I love honeyBBQ and I know others that love that shit too, but you never see him eatin that. Plus you knew the show was gonna get corny once he kicked that chick from Crenshaw off the show (she was the best girl on the show in every way). Kris it aint always that easy to say no and think that everything will go away. Maybe in your world that works.

  • http://myspace.com/dnero1 Dneroda1

    they had flav in them funny ass glasses..blue fur..talkin nonsense and eatin fried chicken..wat the fuck is that??..to each his own but thats on some Bojangles shit..word to wayne brady

  • http://www.bookwormbrown.com bookworm brown

    what? no drawn out list of footnotes in this piece?

  • Shone Jones

    Chuck D did a collabo with Vanilla Ice. What about him? Fuckin’ Hypocrites!

  • LOS

    It is sad that a member of Public Enemy eats by being Foofy on Vh1. But shit, Niggas never(or rarely) make good television. (almost all) Black television has always sucked. I think its a rule. Like Movies.

  • raul

    about time you had a decent post nigga i like alot of readers was getting sick of your Jive propaganda bullshit. Write more smart article for now on.Because your one of my favorite writers

  • H-man

    Shone Jones Says:
    Chuck D did a collabo with Vanilla Ice. What about him? Fuckin’ Hypocrites!

    Sup Lil SJ,(no homo), homiez brother!

  • blaQ

    with Flavor of Love i think the theory that black culture is going full circle is coming true. add that to most Southern rap music videos today and it seems we want to bring back the minstrel show days…escape stereotypes just to embrace them again…how sad.

  • King Of NY

    . . .Unless you’re Cassie or Paris Hilton

    come on man why u nigga bother my wife cassie 4 man leave her alone so wat she did that song she can do that me & u to me any day YEA!

  • http://politikditto.blogspot.com/ Mr. Grey Ghost

    Yeah, blame VH1, fpor capitalizing off a hit show (like they had any idea FOL was gonna be the highest rated program in its history). And blame Flavor Flav (and what he got now like 6 kids to feed?) for having the audacity to take part in a show like this esp. while those old PE records are going like quadruple-platinum. And blame all the ghetto hoochies that have dared to appear on this show looking for their one and only shot at the almighty 15 minutes of fame because, yunno, ghetto hoochies are better than that. Yeah, whatever…dissing my show like that, how dare u?

  • raul

    yeah but the thing is in singers like cassies music you don’t have to be a good singer. Example are ciara,brooke valetine, them cherish bitches,fergie, rihanna,The PCD,Danity kane or christina milian great singers i doubtit. As good (for the most part) janet jackson career has been she
    isn’t a technically great singer j-lo is a awful singer. Most of these singers are interchangable who usally come and go. All you have to do is somewhat stand out be looks,(cassie rihanna) live show dances,(jj or ciara)or already famous (paris j-ho)and hook up with a good producer? song writer and PRESTO !!!
    sucess it has happened many times

  • silva

    christina milian can sing, don’t lump her in with the rest of them scallywags

  • http://xxlmag.com fresh

    I had a feeling that the show was going to get extra ignsnt and I was right. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he was standing there eating fucking fried chicken out of a bucket.

    I expect him to spit out some watermelon seeds by the end of the season.

  • Still Here

    hey flav went to belize and thats my home town so screw you haters….Flav got it going on and he has those hoes where he wants them and if i need to repeat again….FLAV WENT TO BELIZE…

  • http://www.marshawj.org/toscana toscana

    E grande io ha trovato il vostro luogo! Le info importanti ottenute! ))