142,220 People Can Be Wrong

pharrellhighschool.jpg

♪Number One♪

Wait a second that doesn’t sound right. Let’s try this again.

♪Number Two♪

Nope that’s not it either. It’s time for a remix Phar-real.

♪Number Three…briii-diick(pause)…low on the charts…sales diiiip♪

It’s not looking good for you out there for Thelonious P (I spelled it right this time!). You can fool some people with your 142,220 first week sales, but not the 80’s Baby. You just caught the mean and viscous flop. Jimmy “Trillion Dollar Budget” Iovine whipped out the uranium card for your album. The first time out you had a million dollar video with a million dollar chain and a million dollar chick doing the chorus. Sound the horns! Warn the children! Styles P your albums! Pharrell is here now!

Then…crickets.

So you did the smart thing and re-grouped. You pushed your album back several times to help build anticipation (I guess). You got back in the streets, linked up America’s number 1 hustler and did a Gangsta Grizzillz. You also re-introduced the Re-up Gang, who now have a great buzz, and got grimey in the “Mr. Me Too” video. With the underground locked, all you needed was that big radio record to take you over the top. Easy enough right? You do only have 683,219,590 hit records, so how hard could it have been to get one more. Got on the bat phone and called the other more successful super producer turned rapper to jump on the first single. It was a no brainer. So unfair! So unreasonable!

Then you went and fucked it all up with that damn video! You just had to start dancing being a giant throbbing green rose didn’t you?! Didn’t you?! The open-shirts, the huge Louie duffel bag, the lack of women…it was all just so wrong.

So the moment of truth came yesterday and a Destiny’s Child reject wiped the floor with you. Not to mention she did it with 1/8 of your budget. To the public you did decent, but you and I know what’s going on. The streets is watching. Next time come hard (pause) or don’t come at all (ayo!). But we love you Pharrell (no homo), so I suggest you drop the Clipse album, another N.E.R.D. album and everyone will forgive you for this:

  • The Dza

    1st!!!

    I knew that album wasn’t gonna sell big. I guess Myspace ain’t enough of a marketing eh P? Yo Sick, how much did Destiny’s Bastard Child sell???

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    I like the album

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    I’m #115 of 142,220

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Et Tu, Lupe?

    I like the one with Kanye. *STAN ALERT* That man could make me listen to any song as long as he has a 16 in there.

    Kanye > Pharrell.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    that video is pretty assy. that “bonus cut” is the best thing on that, for the organs.

  • Belize

    “Number one” gotta to be the number one worst song of all time…shyyyt id rather listen to fake rastas trying to sound like sizzla…..smell me?

    3 down…28 fi go dread(got it right dis time)…u beta kno di lamp round pan dis…aye we part of the caribbean u from…u should write about carribean influence in hiphop…free shyne

  • t

    u a faggit ass nigga sickamore

    yeh i bet that faggit pharrel aint finna sell more than yer upcoming Saigon album and any other of da wack ass projects u’ve a&r-ed huh sickamore

    lmao u a corny deluded faggit..u gon be back workin’ in popeyes within 2 eyes

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    3/31 Sick!

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    >>The open-shirts, the huge Louie duffel bag, the lack of women…it was all just so wrong.

    …you see what the media did with his second single….that was cold…one of my favorites on the LP, kinda

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Belize–

    The worst song of all time is now a 3 way tie between “Hollaback Girl”, “My Humps”, and “London Bridge”.. All we need is Pharrell and Will.I.Am. to hook up (nullus) to create the Ultimate Worst Song Ever.

  • Belize

    me thinks this nigga just listened to too much MJ….all he needs is a monkey…gwen dont count

  • yes

    LeToya didn’t sell too much more than him which makes it worse.

  • pop a poppa

    i don’t understand how pharrell can be
    the one of the best producers in the
    game and then have a bunch of leftover
    beats on his own album.
    you supposed to do like kanye and save
    the best beats for yo’self homie.
    to me the best track on the album
    wasn’t even released on the album.
    it was only released internationally.
    and as far as the singles… he picked
    the wrong collabos for them.
    i mean gwen stefani on a hook?
    why not call in a favor from kelis?
    nobody gives a fuck about gwen.
    and “young girl” shoulda been his
    second single, not that michael
    jackson reject “number one”.

  • Belize

    damn rey..they really did a makeover of london bridge…hmm wonder if they jacked it from Lil Jon when he did wild out, dont believe me…smell this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNp-ruh3G3A

  • G Off

    Should have kept it hip-hop, not an album full of “Frontin” remixes.

    He’s got the talent to make an art hip hop record, but I think he needs Chad in the studio with him

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    I liked “Angel”, but I only seen that vid at Shae’s and on YouTube … P already said on RapCity that the album is not for sells (b4 the release)…just to hold fans lingering till’ my 2nd favorite band (behind CLOT) drops there LP in 07′ godwilling

  • G Off

    I agree with Pop about the beats, but I’m glad Clipse got the best ones- not him

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    ^^correction–likeded
    ps–that’s right rey, yeah me too

  • Sonny Cheeba

    Kanye > Pharrell.

    ^^^classic!

  • Dr. Colossus

    It’s amazing how bad his album sucks. You’d thik someone wiith all those resources would make such crap.

  • http://www.myspace.com/edword52 eDworD

    WOrD! P just didN”t bring the heat he usally brings to the block this time around!

  • http://www.msfortune.net Rae

    What exactly does a big green throbbing rose mean??
    I will have to ask you that…
    Thank Ms. Ambrose for all the accessories lol
    Pharellio When do the clipse drop?

  • http://www.myspace.com/thugacated Who?!?!

    P never brought heat to my block. None of my block dudes listen to him.. okay, maybe on Jiggas ish, but not this new shit.

    This dude got advertising out the cahoot on MySpace (97 million users), and only sold 142 thousand? Hm….

  • Meezy

    imma just leave it at….

    remember the terrible reviews the 1st n.e.r.d. album got. now look at what it gets in hindsight.

    its not as bad is it sounds the 1st time.

  • http://www.myspace.com/sthamogul S-Large

    it takes alot more then talkin about #1 to be #1 nowadays and that wack track even tho Kanye OWNED IT couldnt make a hit. And most non-rap fans prolly thought that it was Kanyes’ track anyways….S tha mOGuL

  • WHATTHEFUCK

    What the fuck, This is 1 of the Hottest albums I heard in the past 3 years, Its good 2 see a cat make the music that he want and not some commercial bullshit to sell, Big Ups to Pharrell. The only prob I got wit the album is that he Rapping and Singing on the album but If Young Yoc, D4L, Chris Brown, Rick Ross, and the rest of these TALENTLESS FUCKS can sing and rap why not. A cat make some “REAL MUSIC” and people tear him a new asshole for it. But other mothafucks play 2 notes through a whole song and that shit is FIRE. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!!

    BIG UPS TO THE NEPTUNES
    TO BAD THE PEOPLE EARS ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH FOR THIS PROJECT

    I HOPE U PEOPLE WAKE UP 1 DAY

  • Boner Jams 03

    that is the gayest video in the history of gayness…that shit makes chingy and tyrese’s video look like NWA’s straight out of compton

  • http://www.myspace.com/cleanzilla Zilla Roc

    “In My Mind” plus “Fly or Die” = Brick City Mashing.

    I hope this convinces Skateboard to:

    A) Stop rapping. He’s not very good at it and he’s friends with the best MC’s in the business. That’s like buying blow from some kid on the streets in B’More when he can easily just call up The Clipse. Waste of time and effort.
    B) Stop singing or take singing lessons. Hearing Pharrell sing hooks for the past 6 years is cute here and there, but to hear him meow for 20-30 minutes in one sitting is torture.
    C) Even if his aim is uncommercial rap art, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GET A GHOSTWRITER! The south is on top these days, and R&B artist sing a lot of hot garbage, but there’s no excuse to be surrounded by talented MC’s/songwriters and jot down these 12 year rhymes. You’re 30 year old pop star homie–it’s not “abstract” or “innovative” to be incoherent (sans Ghostface or Aesop Rock).

  • Belize

    dj drama must be pissed that he waisted a good mixtape on that faggit

  • http://www.myspace.com/princeunseen unseen

    IT THE CHANGING OFF THE GUARDS UNSEEN IS THE NEW PRODUCER SORRY GUYS . I JUST NEED MY LANE

  • http://www.myspace.com/princeunseen unseen
  • bob

    Man fuck you sickawhore. If you had an album come out, only you, your boyfriend cam’ron, and your mom would buy it. Thats three compared to pharrells 100,000. News flash: No one knows who you are, no one cares who you are, you a horrible a&r, you a horrible dj. Pharrell would whoop yo’ass. Again i ask what everyone else asks when they here your name: Who?

  • suckamore

    You gotta be kidding me. Put down the HOW TO BLOG BY BOL manual and look at your life. You gonna have to put something out eventually, and once that finally happens, you’ll be known for fucking up more artists than Eryka Badu

  • Nelson Abbey

    Fuck Skateboard P! When the hell is Saigon dropping? Sickamore PLEASE hook me up with that Dont Do That joint> Dying to get my hands on it! Dying! I thought my girl yesterday for stopping it from streaming on XXLMag.com. Hook me up

  • freeway ricky

    Yo keep it real sicamore you got alotta work to do yung… Saigon is sleep, sky balla, mystery! and all those other rojects you working on… mystery!!! I will agree he shoulda done better than Latoya, but i feel Pharrell album is catalog, which means it will have more life to it than these other brix that drop from niggaz!!! The Jigga record, trash! But the record with Pusha T, incredible!!! U cant win’em all>>> now get to the studio and find somme better beats for Saigon… you & just killed all his hype, now Entourage cant even save dude… Get-a-bar!!!

  • Belize

    true..i was hyped after the gangsta grillz cd

  • http://www.myspace.com/shawnlawrencejames Shawn Lawrence James

    Stop worrying about Pharrell. Make hits. because even though Atlantic is killing every other label on the digital shit – they dont have any fucking superstars – nah T.I. dosent count. Why does his sales matter. We all know Pharrell’s taste in music is bitter (note Usher’s You Dont Have To Call instrumental was createdin the early 90′s) Where is Atlantic’s superstar? Pharrell will be fine, he dosent need us to forgive him.

    Peace & God Bless!
    SLJ

    You should use this blog for advice and feedback on how to make ur job easier – not for shit like this.

  • http://www.myspace.com/princeunseen unseen
  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    So all of you know:

    Pharell > Kayne = Will.I.Am.Not

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    Where is Atlantic’s superstar?

    ….godwilling

  • LOS

    I mean. The nigga is a producer. He fucked up cause if you a producer then you need to have the hottest in the game by your side. Everybody knows that. I mean ask the good Doc. Oh, and Ye cool and all but that nigga dont count, ‘specially not with a song like that

  • http://www.sickamore.com Sickamore

    its an Sickamore/XXL blog….not an Atlantic blog….

  • http://www.loudminoritymusic.com Che Grand

    PHARRELL CAN DO NO WRONG

  • http://www.spoinemagazine.com Tito Jackson

    1 blogger can be wrong

  • lukee lefty

    ^^^^^^^^word he cant do anything wrong
    besides the shit was self produced self written all the features were favors in return for beats so the only money spent was videos and promotion……..he prolly still in the hole though sorry to say

    Jay should’ve signed the Clispe and the new NERD album is going to be crazy

  • allnice

    The reason why the album flopped is cause dude can’t rhyme for shit. He can’t even kick a decent 16 without spitting all over the place. His flow needs some serious work, but I guess he thought he was aight getting tipes from the Clipse..but them niggaz really ain’t nice.

    Then he went and let Kanye murder him on his own shit so he got ethered on his own album then DOUBLE ethered with that gay ass video. Good post Sickamore. You starting to gain my respect back sonny.

  • ComeOn Carl

    The obsession with first-week sales is silly and really doesn’t mean shit in the long run. One week isn’t really enough to make a decent prediction. There’s always the chance of an artist’s core audience rushing out at once and buying the album the first week (The Roots, Ghostface, Mobb Deep…) and then almost no one buying it after that, or an album catching on slowly and selling okay numbers consistently over a long period of time (Gnarls Barkley, etc.).

    With that said, I wouldn’t be surprised if In My Mind doesn’t do too well. The Neptunes couldn’t push N.E.R.D. or Clones at the peak of their popularity, why would Pharrell blow up album charts now?

    Plus, the album is wack. Dude raps like some kid at the mall whose boys are forcing him to talk to a girl.

  • tRAY

    Sickamore, don’t you think the songs with Snoop and Jay could be hits? I think both could be real big.

  • echo

    The Mr. Mee Too video redeems that faggot Number One video, the album is weak. And WHEN to Jay write that verse? I’m scared for his next album cause lately Jays verses have been WEAK

  • echo

    Oh yeah Hov dont write so when did he record that garbage

  • http://www.hypebeast.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    one blogger can be wrong

  • Miami Monica

    I gotta say that record was kinda wack…. Too bad…. P is a kool dude…. Fuck it hes in Miami so ima just go ahead and party at Mansion with him tonight…. LOL…. ;-)

  • Danja29

    yeah… but now that i’ve heard that ‘young girl’ track, i might end up being #142,221. sorry, i fux with that 80′s-esque shit.

  • BMorales

    Sick. I respect ya grind fam. But who is you? What have you done to change the game? Saigon? Tru Life? Spot? SPOT!!!!!! HAHAHAHA. You need to stop entertainin yaself wit ya big mouth and silly blogs and go find yaself a true star. Cause ya track record aint impressive fam. Get on job at Atlantic and stop wastin ya time on here.

  • Enlightened

    Hey, speaking of Mr. Me To. Why the hell does Pharrell have 2 verses on there and take over the video, like niggas had been fiendin for some Skateboard P in they life or something?

  • King Of the South

    PHarell iz wack gay azz

  • http://stolenlegacy.wordpress.com dick dondi

    this song is mad decent. there’s no NERD joint hotter, maybe lapdance…

  • http://www.myspace.com/djzappout Mark givens

    Wow This song is so bad. More to the point he shouldnt be singing .

  • May

    Sickamore, you’re talking extremely reckless right now. Most of what you said was on point, but the way you said it was totally unnecessary. You don’t talk this greezy to when in public (I’ve heard you speak and your voice is madddddd soft son), so why on this blog?

  • REAL TALK

    U THINK U TUFF PICKIN ON PHARELL????? HE PROLLY SOLD MORE RECORDS THEN YOUR MIXTAPES COMBINED

  • authentiq

    you gotta be a moron to post some stupid shyt like that man. Pharrel did promotion all around the world for this album. Ask Ryan Leslie & Kelis, the U.S. is not the only place where people buy records. Next time stay trying to get Fat Joe that plat plaque he should’ve gotten with his last album & the TS album.
    thank you

  • http://xxlmag erererer

    PHARELLS ALBUM WAS DISSAPOINTING .HE DIDNT GIVE HIMSELF THE HOT BEATS AND I THINK THE REASON WHY IS COS HE PRODUCED ALL THOSE SONGS ON HIS OWN WITHOUT CHAD HUGO.THATS WHY THOSE BEATS SOUND DIFFERENT. BUT I LIKE THE FIRST FOUR TRACKS AND THE NUMBER ONE SONG WITH KANYE .ALL ELSE WAS WEAK.INTERSCOPE DROPPED THE BALL ON HIS ALBUM.BUT PHAREAAL WOULD BE FINE COS NEITHER HE NOR N.ERD HAVE EVR BEEN BIG SELLERS ANY WAY.

  • John Cochran

    I THINK PHARRELL LYRICS ARE HOT SOMETIMES, YOU CAN TELL HE FALL UNDER THAT WHOLE RE UP GANG TREE, BUT HE NEED MORE SUBJECT MATTER. I DONT WANNA HERE ABOUT THE ENZO NO MORE. AND PLEASE STOP SINGING, THAT SHIT IS ANNOYING. THE FIRST HALF OF THE ALBUM IS ALRIGHT BUT YOU LOST ME WITH THE SINGING.

  • Pingback: » The Blogging Business - XXL

  • MEECHIE_DA_GOD

    IT MUST SUCKS TO BE PHARRELL NOW..HIS ALBUM COMES OUT THE SAME TIME AS LATOYA’S COME OUT. AND BEYONCE’S FORMER WIG CARRIER OUT DOES HIM. WOW WOW WOW

  • http://www.dubcnn.comwww.streethop.com Greg/ YG Da Boss

    I think this is a good example that even an oversized budget, all that push, an accomplished producer of Phrael’s stature who is a big name in the game. The crossover to do a big time vdeo/ track with Gwen Stefani and the results speak for themselves. Lol I didn’t mean to repeat what Sick said but come on man that kind of corney shit they put out with the kanye and gwen track deserves this gigantic flop and I hope the machine quits and doesn’t hit us with 3 more videos from this sub par project.

  • LeToya fan

    SMH @ those bitches over here bad-mouthing my gurl just cause Pharrell’s castrated singing ass didn’t sell. Regardless of Pharrell, her album is FIRE and she deserved that #1 spot.

  • stephany

    LeToya’s album is mother fuckin HOT and she diserves to be #1 at Billboard. Pharrell is wack as a solo artist but great producer tho

  • Pharrell Fan

    I don’t know what pharrell was thinking with this right here but it s not his best. the beats were hot (listened to tha instrumentla version of the songs on itunes) its just pharrells singing and stuff. If someone else took those beats they’d be hits. Letoys album isn’t that great listened to it the only good songs on there are torn, she dont and gangsta grillz. Plus she struggles to sing. I styll love off Pharrell though.

  • Pingback: » Ludacris Needs An Intervention - XXL

  • http://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/xxxlady_diaxxx LADY_DIA

    true say the album is highly commercial..but…i WILL fogive him
    pharell’s main job is PRODUCING so if he has put people before himself then HE IS DOING HIS JOB- more so i respect him more for doing it and i can’t judge him for that; not that i’m in to this whole #1 b/s coz if my man tried to spit them bars i would more then likely throttle him.
    “temper hit the ceiling (my damn back foot…my temper will break your teeth mate)- so boi c’mon!”

    and as for LeToya… she needs to kick Beyonce’s “ring the alarm” crackhead album off the charts…wtf? nah… that is not SERIOUS
    (far cry from independent woman aint it? “oooh im not going to the MOBO’s- the only black music award in LONDON bcoz LeToya is there, and coz…im wiv loreal and they say i’m white”)
    then for her to come wiv a next song proclaiming being single “irreplaceable”
    CHILD PLEASE YOU AINT WHITE… YOUR WEARING A FRIGGIN BLONDE WEAVE AND PLEASE FIX THE FUCK UP BCOZ YOU ARE NOT REPPING IT FOR US LADIEZ BOUT RING THE ALARM… YOU SHOULD BE RINGING THE ALARM FOR HIM TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR HOUSE!