You Was Right: Niggas Want You To Be Miserable Wit’ ‘Em

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If you must know, children, for the past few days, I have not been:

  • Nearing depression due to the lack of quality, legally available hip-hop longplayers(a) that have come out this season.
  • Spending entirely too much time discovering the wonders of Google Earth(b) while fuled by the dirtiest skunk one can find on Flatbush Ave.
  • Watching some shirtless dude in the park train pigeons to land on his forearm.
  • Trying to gas myself into finding a way to make an extremely unimpressive rapper seem interesting for the faithful readers of XXL, the magazine(d).
  • Renewing my quest to find out what the hell “Belly style” is.
  • Watching porn(e).

No children, I’ve been trapped in some sort of nerd prison and fearing that my deepest and darkest secrets will be made public by an unglued wacko who’s purportedly aligned with some of my many part-time haters in order to give me the brand recognition of Troop(f). But, as a wise young man once told me, “You should never wrestle a pig, because the pig has all the fun and all you get is dirty.” I’m pretty sure he got that from the Bible(g).

Still, for the record: El Capitan is the warden, BFred is the CO, but the inmates run this joint. We don’t take hits from anyone and we do what we want, when we want. Who’s gonna stop us? Not a cotdamned one of ya. And you can take that to your urn.

If I said it, I meant it for my reasons and mine alone. Honestly, I find out what Bol’s crazy ass is gonna say at the same time as everyone else(h). There aren’t any strategic meetings and no one here requests, or is required to get, clearance from anyone else to speak their mind. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don’t. Snakes on a plane. We keep it moving. That’s why there’s a disclaimer on every post.

Now, as for “blog beef,” I personally think it can be fun, creative and entertaining. Competition is always good. But, if I say I’ma slap holy fire out your nose, I’m taking poetic license. I ain’t sending the wolves for no one on the ethernets and I damned sure ain’t doing shiite myself. I’m the Vince Chase of my street fam—I can’t go to jail ’cause them years’ll cost me(i).

Aside from that, I ain’t got much to say. Negro culture is not exciting me these days. Not the radio, not the magazines, street DVDs, movies, mixtapes, albums—none of it. Maybe something that captures my imagination will take place in the next few days. Or maybe I’ll just write why I feel that Southernplayalisticadiiacmuzik is the best Outkast album ever(j). Or expound on why Slick Rick is the greatest rapper of all time(k).

Or maybe I’ll just go back to the park, roll one up and watch that dude with the pigeons again.

To be clear, children: No one here owes any of you a bonobo’s ass. If you’re not feeling us, fine. It costs you nothing: pay us no mind. You can save the huffy pique for your real parents.

UPDATE: Not that it’s particularly good or necessarily legal, but Reebok, whom some people claim hate rap, has some promo-only mixtape they’re giving away. It’s curated by Mick Boogie, hosted by Lupe Fiasco and, naturally, is floating around les internetes. If you use this link to get it, I think you’ll help the boy Gotty cop a new pair of 54-11′s, or something.

You’re gonna have to find your own tracklisting, but I’m sure that one of the really cool children that spend whole days in forums will be able to help you with that.

P.S.— I don’t post these songs because they have breaks or what have you. I actually listen to this shiite. Get your minds right, children.

PlayStation 2— It’s still cuff Jive. All day, every day.

————————

(a) I think it’s safe to say that something went horrifically wrong with Skateboard P’s In My Mind. Dude tried to create a pop album when he shoulda traded his cachet for the avant-garde opus that I’m pretty sure he has in him. Not that such an approach worked for N*E*R*D, but still.

(b) Google Earth + MTV Overdrive almost make the hassles of learning Microsoft’s crappy OS worth it. Almost.

(c) By Zeus, do the words “Limited Edition” mean nothing in this world?

(d) We do it all for you.

(e) Because that would just be wrong.

(f) You think you know, but you have no idea. You need more people. Standard.

(g) Not for nothing, no matter how many times I take that quiz, I remain amazed at some of the kooky-ass shiite that’s in the good book. Crazy pills, indeed.

(h) Most times after, because I don’t live by my RSS reader like some of you children.

(i) But, don’t get me wrong: I’ll lay a nickel down if he force me.

(j) Which it is.

(k) Which he is.

  • Freddy Freeloader

    Somebody PLEASE shut these dipshits up! I couldn’t give a flying fuck about Clyde Smith or the bullshit beef you guys have with him or any other site for that matter! This is getting so sad and is already more tiresome than Game vs Fiddy. You write for fucking XXL! Aren’t you guys the biggest hiphop-mag in the biz? Just be like Jigga and ignore ‘em. Why? BECAUSE NOBODY CARES!

    “Now, as for “blog beef,” I personally think it can be fun, creative and entertaining.”

    I personally don’t.

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    u a geeky ass nigga exo

    u mad old and beefin’ wit dudes over bloggin’ on the internet LMAO

    u a faggit ass nigga jus like bol

  • Be Quiet Bums

    What song is that?

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    I’m waiting for a blogger to get shot 9 times and live to never shut the fuck up about it, only to put his equally non-talented blogging weed carriers’ blogs out, to ruin blogging for years to come.

    B-B-B-BLOG UNIT!

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    ^^ Sign of a dedicated hater: Rather than right “first”, he dedicates 30 minutes of his time to write a hateagraph in the first comment box.

    I salute thee, keep our country safe.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    Rey, you brought up an interesting concept: bloggers’ bag handlers.

    Exo, do you have a blog bag handler???

    I’d bet that YN and Bol do…
    (Drama’s handler doesn’t count)

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    I’m pretty sure Bol’s shit is ghostwritten by his Weed Carriers. Come on, can anyone really have that much free time???

    As for YN.. I’m pretty sure he’s too busy fellating Curtis Jackson to worry about assembling a team of bag handlers.. (Yeah, that’s a common lament, but I will never forgive his ass for putting Yayo & 50 on a cover over K. West last summer)

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    who wants to see kanye on the cover? i sure don’t.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    C’mon now.. Kanye vs Yayo & Fifty?

    Kanye is awesome, & Yayo & 50 are definitely not.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    depends on your view of awesome…

    if awesome means being conceited to the point of your shit not stinking, then yeah, he’s awesome.

    that 50/yayo cover, if i remember correctly, was also a part of a big jail issue, which was fucking hot if i say so myself. i think that cover fits better than the “louis vitton don” talking about not calling someone a homo.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Right, Right. I forgot how humble Curtis Jackson was…

    Admittedly, I didn’t read that issue. I despise the G-Unit and what they’ve done to hip-hop and therefore boycotted that issue.

    K. West, IMO, is one of the last rays (no pun intended) of hope that rap has.. He’s a conceited fuck, true, but I really like what he’s trying to do, which is something different.

    50, on the other hand, had this incredible story going into GRODT and delivered an album full of great beats & catchy hooks and the same bullshit lyrics we’ve been hearing since 1996.

    …of course, I’ll probably be called “gay” for thinking that way, but whatever man.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    nah not gay at all. but the thing is, kanye makes way more outlandish comments than 50 does… and a lot of them are based on his ego. 50 thinks he’s the best in rap, kanye thinks he’s the best period. and i don’t recall talking about “bush hating black people”…

    i am tired of hearing people say kanye is doing something different. i don’t see it.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Dude, just in terms of beats and rhymes he’s different.. I’m sure there are people doing similar things, but I don’t scour the internet looking for every unsigned rapper with an opinion–chalk that up to ignorance if you will, but it’s true. For a man as visible as he is to say some of the things he’s said, it takes some backbone. At least he gets people talking, ya know?

    As for CurJack, I have virtually nothing positive to say about him. His hypocrisy is well documented. Kanye might have a bit of hypocrit in him as well, but shit, at least he’s making good music while he’s at it.

    Bottom line as far as I go? I’m fucking sick of bling and bullets and bentleys and bitches. Kanye sprinkles that shit in too, but he teams that up with stories, personal insights, and social commentary, and that’s what I dig about him.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    yo sprinkles? wasn’t kanye doing a jesus bling line with that drug trafficking jacob the jeweler?

    and there’s no need to “scour the internet” for “unsigned mcs” doing what kanye does… kanye’s whole “sped up soul sample” style was bit off old rza beats…

    trust, both men are definitely hypocrites, i don’t deny that… but i think kanye sees himself on this pillar that really ain’t there. i have respect for the topics he brings up on (some) of his tracks, but he isn’t changing the face of music. he’s like the only one out there doing what he’s doing, for good or ill. no disrespect but i think he gets more respect than he deserves. maybe that’s just me?

    Basically, it’s this: I don’t listen to 50 OR Kanye on the regular. I follow their music, but I don’t keep it in the changer/mp3 player for any length of time. They both talk a bunch of shit, but I feel 50 more, and I know that a cover story on 50 is going to be a better read than a Kanye one.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Ehhh… I agree with some of that..It comes down to personal preferences, I guess.

    I knew that bit about the Rza doing the sped-up stuff, I’m NOT that far gone.

    Nice debate. I wasn’t called a “faggot ass nigga” once.

    UNO.

  • Meka Soul

    >I’m pretty sure Bol’s shit is ghostwritten by his Weed Carriers. Come on, can anyone really have that much free time???>

    no disrespect, but you’re probably on this site as much as bol.

    >(Drama’s handler doesn’t count)>

    wouldn’t drama be sickamore’s piff pocketer?

  • Meka Soul

    >i am tired of hearing people say kanye is doing something different. i don’t see it.>

    co-sign. personally, i think just blaze is the better beatmaker.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Hmm… Touche, Mr. Soul.

    Also, I tend to agree with you about Just Blaze being the better producer right now, but I think their catalogues are about even over the years.

  • Belize

    I hate fiddy but id bump his shit before kanye…somehow i think he’s fake..how are u gonna have a song about jesus, another song about blood diamonds and then get a jesus bling with ev’ry fukin stone out…does anybody see the irony?????

    by the way fiidy’s a fake nigga too but he hides it “sooo well”..(yes i did the white boy accent on sooo well”

  • Belize

    By the way this blog was more entertaining than ex’s post

    “Rey, you brought up an interesting concept: bloggers’ bag handlers.
    Exo, do you have a blog bag handler???
    I’d bet that YN and Bol do…
    (Drama’s handler doesn’t count)”

    ^^^^LaughinMyFukinAssOff

  • I Am A Hater

    Blog beef lol, i’m still laughing at that.

  • Belize

    ^^^^shhh…be quite…they are reading…haaa

  • Baggagehandler

    Yo Bol’s blog WCs are (or where) Akuma, Combat Jack and Big Walt.

    Although I don’t think Walt’s been heard of for a while… he got ethered in the comments section every time he posted.

    I guess CJ might qualify as an owner on some levels cos

    a) some of his posts were fuckin hilarious
    and
    b) He actually had a proper grown-up job in t’industry at one point – something Bol can only dream of.

  • Ogeezy

    Now the bloggers are beefin with the people who read their shit and with each other? You’re also sending fake threats to people?
    What a bunch of bitches.

  • http://www.myspace.com/lone_Nigerian lone Nigerian

    I know I’m almost completely off subject but i gotta ask..
    Why are you so against religion, Exo? Or I guess i should really ask: why don’t you believe in (a) God?
    I always find atheists’ reasons very interesting. anyway email or comment or something. cuz i truly don’t understand how someone can honestly look around @ all the wonders of the world (yeah i’m including the bad, ignorant, unneccesary, etc ish too) and basically just say “it’s all a coincidence”. Cuz that’s what atheism means to me. Just looking at the world, shrugging your shoulders and saying, “so.”
    I’m probably going to be “i-net ethered” for this or at least digitally scathed. But I had to say it.
    Anyway
    peace and love
    (surely you believe in those) :)

  • http://firesforeshow.blogspot.com Twila Mayfield

    You have done it once again! Amazing writing!

  • 8oz5 sex videos d13j

    You was right niggas want you to be miserable wit em.. Amazing :)