So long, BET Uncut

So Robert “Crossroads” Johnson started BET with $15,000 in 1980 (a good year before there was a such thing as an MTV) and sold it 20 years later for $6 gozillion. As Chris Farley would say, whoopty frickin’ do. BET sucks balls and it always has.

You don’t see the crackety-cracks that own MTV selling that shit, now do you? I bet $6 gozillion isn’t even a lot of money for a cable network. I’m sure you could get twice as much for the Food Network. Don’t front like you haven’t jerked off to $40 a Day.

Indeed, with the recent announcement that BET will be canceling BET Uncut, that might actually be your best option if you’re the kind of guy who likes to, um, stay up late.

As I mentioned in a post yesterday on my own site, I never actually watched BET Uncut myself. As much as I could appreciate the concept of rap music accompanied by images of mostly naked women and bizarrely wanton misogyny, the form never seemed to progress much beyond Nelly’s infamous Tip Drill video from 2003.

Perhaps because record labels were loathe to sink too much money into such ridonkulousness, the vast majority of uncut videos were by rappers you wouldn’t give the time of day if they weren’t rapping alongside huge, cellulite-ridden asses. (Granted, the same could be said about the uncut version of 50 Cent’s “Disco Inferno,” a personal favorite.)

But for the most part, the budgets were miniscule, if entirely non-existant, and the videos were hardly watchable, even with the naked pussy. I always had a sneaking suspicion that most of the white girls in uncut videos were actually “latinos” with bad dye jobs. Don’t even get me started on the black chicks.

Indeed if there’s a positive spin to BET cancelling Uncut, it’s that it may ether the nascent genre of strip club music in utero, not unlike Drew Barrymore’s children. For all we know, if there was never a BET Uncut in the first place, maybe there never would’ve been a “Laffy Taffy,” or a “Chicken Noodle Soup.”

Instead of trying to convince BET to bring back Uncut, maybe we should try to talk MTV2 into creating its own version of the show. Who among us wouldn’t enjoy an uncut version of the Hold Steady’s “Banging Camp.” If you have no idea what I’m talking about, raise your hand anyway. That shit would be awesome.

  • enfluential

    first!!!! lol ive never done it before

  • http://XXLmag.com Brendan

    RIP to the last national show where independent rap videos could get air time

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    …I can’t believe there’s a song called Chicken Noodle Soup that’s not done by the Wiggles or some shit…

    Moving On..

    I hardly ever watched “Uncut” either, but dammit, I caught that 50 video, and all I remember from it is girls kissing, and that shit NEVER gets old.

    There was a lot of regional indy trash on it too, but it was all in good fun.

    RIP, Uncut.

    *shakes head and wonders why “the real world” is still on the air*

  • d.GUTTA

    *pouring a 40ounce out..*

    UNcut, u will be missed.

  • Gutta

    funny how rey AND bol say they’ve never watched uncut but still manage to give vivid descriptions of the videos that they play. just admit it, u jerk off every late night,lol

  • Gutta

    for the record though, i pretty much hate all the songs that were played on uncut but i cant blame some no name indie artist for puttin some ass in the video so it will get some recognition.

  • moolien yawn

    no homo this post

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    I’m actual Bol’s Short, Fat, Puerto Rican-Cuban alter-ego.

    Actually, I said I “hardly ever” watched. “Hardly ever” implies at least once or twice, and dammit, I saw that 50 video and loved it.

    Also, I’m really not comfortable with you picturing me baking, so you can stop sending all those letters.

    Thanks!

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    u a faggit ass nigga bol

    and rey an even bigger faggit ass nigga for bein’ on bol tip

  • Belize

    ^^^”You don’t see the crackety-cracks that own MTV selling that shit, now do you? ” -> Thats cuz Viacom owns MTV and BET, idiot!

    ” never actually watched BET Uncut myself. As much as I could appreciate the concept of rap music accompanied by images of mostly naked women and bizarrely wanton misogyny, the form never seemed to progress much beyond Nelly’s infamous Tip Drill video from 2003.” -> THATS CUZ UR GAY!!! haaaaaaaa

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    Hmm… I do believe I’ve got my very own fan-club.

    Thanks, Transvestite! You get to be the President!

  • cacapoopoo

    all praises due to the white man! i am overjoyed that this shitty show is off the air

  • http://33jones.com fresh

    There’s still Fuse’s Pants Off Dance Off….

  • raul

    yeah the video’s were for the most part unwatchable. but every now and then they had good rappers on there. who were independent and deserved a little bit of shine. For an aspring artist who don’t trust the majors.this is a major dent on my path i guess i need you tube ha.

  • Meka Soul

    >RIP to the last national show where independent rap videos could get air time>

    i don’t know about you, but my reason for watching BET uncut was not to see the latest “songs” from mighty casey and joker the bailbondsman.

    >There’s still Fuse’s Pants Off Dance Off….>

    and yet another fine programming from our red-headed stepchildren upstairs next to “terrance & phillip”. i love the women though.

  • http://aol.com SALINAS BABY

    bet uncut was better than trl, 106 & park,imf,rap city,bet late,& sucker free combined . ass & titties never gets old. by the way, there’s nothing wrong with a little ass cellulite. p.s. I think byron crawford sounds like a raspy version of E-40 when he raps. correct me if i’m wrong Bol…….pussy

  • Black Captain.

    anyone remember the uncut video for n.e.r.d.s “lapdance”? that alone is enough to keep uncut on the air

  • eauhellzgnaw

    “BET sucks balls and it always has”

    Not true. BET was pretty decent in the late 80s through the early 90s.

    1.) Though Yo! was fire at its peak, Rap City pre-Tigger was equally dope. I preferred the Chris Thomas years, but the Joe Clair and Big Lez era wasn’t bad.

    2.) They had Carribean Rhythms, the only place to see Reggae (and their ass shakin vids) on regular cable.

    3.) Though half of Bet on Jazz was easy listening garbage, the other half featured great live performances by aging jazz/blues giants and young guns.

    4.) While Video Soul eventually showed a lot of crappy 90s R and B, it was the only place for you to catch far superior throwback R and B joints.

    5.) Comic View was always a coon-fest, but it didn’t used to be anywhere near as bad as it now.

    6.) In the late 90s, when popular black music took a nosedive, they had a show that played more obscure black music (they played it Saturday afternoon, but still).

    7.) Even Mad Sports was OK for a minute.

    8.) The news/topical shit was weak, especially when Tavis brought his box fade there, but when it came to “black shit,” it was much better than the coverage on every other station.

    They often fell victim to showcasing the worst of black music (Hammer, 90s R and B, Puff), but don’t let your disdain for the current state of BET pollute your assessment of what it used to be.

  • armaggedion

    Dear Ray,
    in light of your recent gramatical awakening, ill have you know that the person that called you a faggot was actually named the transient, not transvestite, as you put it- but dont worry, being blind and dumb is not such a big deal these days.
    there ya go, buddy!

  • alyxnyc

    http://www.betuncut.net/

    Bet Uncut has moved to the world wide web

  • http://www.livejournal.com Rey

    *ahem* R-E-Y But aside from that, aren’t you glad we’re finally bonding?

  • Gutta

    lol @ me sending letters

  • RanRice(pronounced rees)

    yall niggaz on 50 cent dick, yall mentioned disco inferno & nobody ain’t even thinkin about that shit. everytime yall do ne thing yall mention one of dr.dre’s artist, get off them niggaz dicks.

  • HUT

    BET Uncut is gone so what. I ain’t ever really watch it.

    BISHIP BOSS IS THE FUTURE
    Tell A Friend To Tell A Friend
    http://www.mypspace.com/myspacecombishipboss

  • Gerry Atrics

    Yo, I’m feelin’ the comment on $40 a day. Rachael Ray has a bomb-ass! For real, she’s got a latina’s ass and ain’t afraid to eat–I’m jerking off to that shit right now and it’s not even on! Big ups for the memories, Bol! 30-minute meals is a guilty pleasure of mine–sometimes when she walks to the fridge or the sink, the get a full body shot and I just tighten my grip and give the head a little more love. Ooooweee! I got a raging hard-on here at my work, I’m gonna have to go excuse myself in the bathroom–Excuse me!

  • ghostndadarkness

    how can u cancel ass an tities men life dont make no sense no mo

  • E the Villian

    Cancel your last good show..Typical BET move…. Im not suprised at all..Fuck that channel.

  • MocahCouture

    I’m glad that shit is gone. Piece of shit show…horrible artists, horrible videos…I’m having a Kiss my ass BET party right now!

  • Black Jack Tripper

    This observation coming from someone who’s never met a black girl that he liked and never met a white girl whose ass he wouldn’t stick his tongue, including Britney-fucking-Spears.

    Bol, has done it again!

    Oh yeah, and still watching MTV’s “Real World”………………………… “Real gay, my nigga!” © Riley Freeman

  • http://UG-RS.com Tyler

    Word up BET sucks for real but I hate to say it but UnCut was the one shinning light on ‘dat whole fuckin’ network my nigs. Why? Cause at least they were playin’ shit ‘dat was not on the tv or radio ever 5 minutes ya’ dig plus yea’ . . nake pussy, phat asses, girls kissing, Hot tit’s is a good thing, U fuckin’ homos. Unlike Mtv at least they were playin videos. RIP UnCut, I’ll see U at the crossroads. Peep the heat at:
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic
    http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug

  • Styles

    Tipdrill was good, but I like that disco inferno video better. Dude had white girls kissing all over the place in that video. It’s probablly for the best that they cancelled uncut though.

  • Gerald

    I’m just glad that I’ve never wasted my life watching BET. TV One shits on BET anyday, at least every now and then you can catch a classic Spike Lee joint on there.

  • D-Boi

    Man BET lame as hell now.
    First AJ n Free gon
    Then Mad Sports
    Da fine ass news reporta
    Bob Jonson
    Big Tigger and Jullisa
    evry bodi.
    Now Uncut is leavin us!!!
    Man fuck who ever rummin BET now dey fuckin ervy thing up!!

  • d.GUTTA

    me & my crew were just about to have our song and video played on UnCuT. Damn! Yall woulda liked the video too. whole lotta azz and boobs. check this link out if u wanna hear the song “mySpace pixxxx”.

    http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=34064179

  • Black Jack Tripper

    ^^ Oh yeah! I’m sure you’d rather watch the muhfuckin Celebrity Bid Whist Tournament over BET Uncut any day.

    Fuck outta here with that bullshit!

  • taquito grande

    man BET is fuckin up big time, they getting rid of all the hot shows, they fire all the cool hosts like tigger and replace them with corny ass niggas like terrence j and they also got rid of mellissa ford FUCKIN MELISSA FORD MAN! that BET style show was gay as fuck but i watched just to catch a glimpse of that bitch. anyway they were my last hope since MTV isnt even a music channel anymore all them mothafuckas show is fuckin laguna beach reality shit all day long but now BET is falling, as a matter of fact they even show any good music videos they play the same garbage ass down south shit over and over just like the radio fuck that shit man play some real music.

    R.I.P. BET UNCUT

  • Jasmine

    yo rest in peace BET UNCUT…but i think that it is a good idea to take it of of the air because i kno a lot of people my age who stayed up late waiting for it to come on and i am a teenage girl * sophmore*…and i think its really pathetic… i mean its not like im a good girl or something but wen bet had on that show it just went really low… but hey some of it was kind of interesting..and wen i saw TIP DRILL… it speaks for itself…hahaa
    but yea its a good thing in my sight even tho i did watch it a couple of times …but not the whole way through tho…
    GOOOD LOKKIN OUT BET
    R.I.P

  • sayon

    speak for your self HOMO, i watched those big round plump asses shake and bounce on my giant screen, i loved uncut it helped me thru 3 divorces and had to speak up for UNCUT
    LOVE BIG ASSES

  • Jaurice

    I’m glad BET Uncut is gone. Dat shit was retarded and featured rappers who you would never see in the next 5 years. Plus da songs were dumb as hell.