Greatest Misses

His path to perfection in the post ‘Pac and Biggie era has been astounding. There’s no doubt whether truly retired or not, Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter is the best rapper alive and is on his way to being crowned the G.O.A.T. (And not just from MTV, fuckers.) Still everyone’s made mistakes and through the years, Marcy’s finest son has created a musical massacre or two. Fuck a Greatest Hits album, here is the definitive guide to the songs you’ll never see Jigga perform live. I promise you.

Jay-Z feat. Babyface and Foxy Brown “(Always Be My) Sunshine” (Roc-A-Fella, 1997)
Dame reportedly cursed Babyface out til he agreed to appear on this. Split or no split, we should still be cursing Dash out for co-signing this shit.

Jay-Z “The City Is Mine” (Roc-A-Fella, 1997)
Jigga asked Biggie for torch. Poppa wasn’t ready to give it to him yet.

Jay-Z feat. Puff Daddy and Lil Kim “I Know What Girls Like” (Roc-A-Fella, 1997)
Nobody liked Hova making Bad Boy sounding records.

Jay-Z feat. Mariah Carey “Things That U Do” (Roc-a-fella, 1999)
SC and MC? Sounds good on paper. But this found less takers than “Heartbreaker.”

Jay-Z feat. Amil “S. Carter” (Roc-A-Fella, 1999)
Shortie’s voice was never choice. Whoever thought Amil could blow? Oh no!

Jay-Z “Parking Lot Pimpin’” (Roc-A-Fella, 2000)
Hard to believe this crap was actually supposed to be the first single from The Dynasty.

Jay-Z feat. Beanie Sigel “Streets is Talking” (Roc-A-Fella, 2000)
“Streets is Watching” didn’t deserve this sucky sequel.

Jay-Z “The Ruler’s Back” (Roc-A-Fella, 2001)
The Blueprint classic began with a clunker. Leave Slick Rick’s catalogue alone.

Jay-Z & R. Kelly “Honey” (Roc-A-Fella/Jive, 2002)
A booty Bee Gees beat and Hovi’s flow here both had to “gooo.”

Jay-Z feat. Faith Evans and Notorious B.I.G. “A Dream” (Roc-A-Fella, 2002)
Another woeful ode to the Big guy upstairs.

Jay-Z feat. Beyonce “’03 Bonnie & Clyde” (Roc-A-Fella, 2002)
Being in love will make you do crazy things like remaking a song from an album that dissed you.

Jay-Z feat. Rell, Beanie Sigel, Peedi Crakk, Freeway, Memphis Bleek, Young Gunz, and Sparks “As One” (Roc-A-Fella, 2002)
An Earth Wind & Fire classic gets butchered on this pitiful posse cut.

Jay-Z “Change Clothes” (Roc-A-Fella, 2003)
Does anyone even remember this was The Black Album’s official jump-off? Unnecessary.

Jay-Z “Justify My Thug” (Roc-A-Fella, 2003)
Hooking up with DJ Quik for a Madonna makeover? Do over.

Jay-Z & R. Kelly “The Return” (Roc-A-Fella/Jive, 2004)
Didn’t I say leave Slick Rick’s catalogue alone. Like Kane said, “Damn, niggaz never learn.”

Jay-Z & R. Kelly “Big Chips” (Roc-A-Fella/Jive, 2004)
“First week a million sold?” Like LL said, “I don’t think so.”

Jay-Z & Linkin Park’s entire Collision Course catastrophe (Who Cares, 2004)
Only thing I like mashed is my potatoes, you burnt up French fries.

  • bldngblk

    i must be the only one in the world that likes that i know what boys/girls like
    that shit was fire to me

  • http://www.buildthedream.org DGthegreat

    Couldnt’ agree more. The G.O.A.T. dropped the ball on all of these with the exception of “Streets is Talking” and “The Ruler’s Back”. Shouldn’t put Streets is Talking on this list cause Beanie Sigel went crazy on this track. The Blueprint is considered a classic cause EVERY song on the album was solid. The Ruler’s Back included.

    Damn it’s refreshing to see this list with all of the Jay-Z is cominf back talk. You don’t think it’s true do you?

  • http://www.buildthedream.org DGthegreat

    No tracks from Reasonable Doubt and you said post BIG and Pac era. Hmmm…

  • http://www.buildthedream.org DGthegreat

    No tracks from Vol. 2 “Paperchase” feat. Foxy Brown. Boring…

  • Pingback: » YN picks Hova’s greatest misses - XXL

  • The Dza

    The Ruler’s back was just fine. And how is it a classic album if it began with a clunker? You’re not making any sense.

  • Lee

    YO yellow nig is the eic. and you do it once again yo number 10 was funny as hell.

  • DG

    I agree on all of those except for “parking lot pimpin” and “honey”. Jay with the fish eye lens in “sunshine” is hilarious, almost as funny as the yellow suit in “money aint a thing”

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    I’m glad you added the 2 worst tracks off of the Black Album. The “Change Clothes” lyrics are fine, but that beat and Pharrell need to go somewhere.

    I’m also glad you added “A Dream”… I never got into that whole “it was me HE SAID” shit… noooo!

  • RandomName

    The rulers back is a great song, and I still bump Things that you do no matter what anyone says.

    With those exceptions this is a great list. You can really put most of the BP2 album up there. Even with that said I Still think Jay is the GOAT, and not because he brainwashed me into thinking so.

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    I Agree with a couple of those, but it’s hard to take serious the word of a man who put Tony Yayo on cover. Yellow Nig, I really can’t stand your ass sometimes.

  • http://XXLmag.com Brendan

    I think I’m the only person who thinks “Things That You Do” was great. It was a lite track but Jay’s lyrics were so serious:

    “Crazed and demonic, without blazin chronic/Product of Reaganomics/You know that muthafuckin’ stoop raised me/Dreamin’ of hoops but I was too lazy/School made me sick, teachers said I was too crazy/Low and behold it’s the, new and improved Jay-Z/Let me explain this to you baby/I spent nights out, Days Inn/N*ggas was blazin’/Twelve noon where I was raised in/I felt caged in, but kept roamin’/Prayed for the Day of Atonement/Married to the streets no date of annulment/It seems/Every time it comes up they postpone it/So I kept my chrome at the waist/Waiting for the omen/Savoring the moment”

  • http://xxlmag.com fresh

    ^^ I liked “The Things That You Do” when it came out. But then again I was in 9th grade at the time.

  • http://www.myspace.com/maineventclick T-Rok

    Man, you are so fuckin wrong YN, I usually agree with you but that “As One” posse cut is tight as fuck, “I know what Girls like” is also hella tight, “A Dream” is nice and a buncha the other songs are nice

  • Meka Soul

    >No tracks from Reasonable Doubt and you said post BIG and Pac era. Hmmm…>

    “reasonable doubt” came out in june of 1996, when big & pac were still alive.

    there are way more suckbag tracks to add to this collection, but this is pretty comprehensive.

  • john cochran

    I agree with the whole list. I think his bricks on Vol. 1 was because he was tryin to use that Bad boy sound that was poppin at the time. Oh well, nobody’s perfect. Except me on the beats: JCOCHRANGC@HOTMAIL.COM

  • Danja29

    “Girl’s Best Friend”- anyone, anyone?

    I’d say “Streets Is Talkin’”, “The Ruler’s Back”, and “I Know What Girls Like” were dope. But the rest of the ones mentioned? Yeah. Bad. Very bad.

  • Belize

    you should add them new hova songs (except for 44 fours) cuz there are really LAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEE!

  • lukee lefty

    the thing is if you were to do this list for other rappers you would prolly have their whole album on the list but its all good though

    by the by i think you should remove the rulers back

    and i thought “what more can i say” would have been a betta black album jumpoff than change clothes

    justify my thug should have been removed from the Black Album in favor of “Ignorant Shit”

    “Ectasy” by The Ohio Players c’mon bro do me a solid

  • RandomName

    His nicest Post retirement tracks have been Dear Fall, and the Go Crazy Remix. He murdered those two. The rest of it’s been just ok, Including the new Bey-Z joint.

  • http://UG-RS.com Tyler

    How ’bout the whole Reasonable Doubt album . . .well really damn near 85% of all his songs is wack really. Ease up on the KoolAid fellas with this dude Jay Z man. I mean he had an anniversary over ‘dat album before 2Pac had one for All Eyes on Me or Biggie had one for Ready 2 Die? Come on New York motherfuckers get off Jay nutsack man. . . I still can’t belive ‘dat he is fuckin’ ‘dat bitch B cause they look crazy 2gether yo and I mean dude, he cool but cool is not hot. Peep the heat at: http://www.myspace.com/marcmaysrockandrollthug
    http://www.myspace.com/marcusorealiusmusic

  • http://www.myspace.com/therapistmusic Therapist

    i firmly agree with all of those, except for “the rulers back”

    i still fucks with that

  • teutrurt

    i realizey ou gotta stay on these cats good graces to keep your mag afloat, but c’mon… no “blueprint 2″?
    oh, behave…

  • Lefty 2Gunz

    “The Rulers Back” is f#cking ridiculous are you crazy YN?!!!
    Same thing for “Parkin Lot Pimpin” & “Change Clothes”!!
    “All A Dream” is fire too but I can see how some people might not like it;… gets a partial co-sign.

    The rest are pretty much right on point. Another homerun for the YN.

    One

  • http://myspace.com/starchild10 $tarchild

    U trippin “The Ruler’s Back” started the classic Blueprint off right. “Streets is Talking” was fire. “The Things that U do” was cool though I too was in the 9th grade at the time. “City is Mine” was aight. Parking Lot Pimpin and 03 Bonnie and Clyde was cool too. Everything else I pretty much agree.
    Roc-A-Fella 4 life
    Uno

  • B

    I’ve been telling niggas “As One” is the worst JayZ song ever for years!!!

  • iame247

    Parkin lot pimpin was tight except for Memph-is-weak’s part

  • Tray

    The Ruler’s Back was great, I disagree.

  • pop a poppa

    anyone that calls jay-z the greatest ever is just crazy. xxL betta not start takin’ orders from mtv

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    u a faggit ass chink nigga wilson

    streets is talkin’ wus fire

    fuck yo rat faced half nip ass.

  • Styles

    Only reason Amil even had verses was b/c Jay was fucking her. Yeah my nigga has had misses, but it could be worse he could have made a whole cd that was shit like Camron. The closest Jay came was that Dynsaty cd, that was ass.

  • Lox

    Yo good lookin’ on this list, The Ruler’s Back was aight, but the others were 100% bs. I rep Jig as hard as anyone but at least someone’s saying not everything he touchs turns to gold (or platinum).

  • http://www.honorablemedia.com/blog Honorable

    pretty accurate, but “The Ruler’s Back” was fire.

  • steve

    i am the only person that noticed YN covered up his “shit on my mind vol. 3″ with this quickly done shit? did you leak to much info? perhaps the part about jay def dropping an albumin the 4th? i guess thats why this shit is about hov. catch up niggas!

  • steve

    uhhhh, never mind.

  • B.K.

    Jay-Z is wack most of his music is wack. But he is great at marketing cause the human mind is foolish he knows if you tell someone they stupid enough times they will start to believe it. So he say he’s the best all the time and you niggaz are believing it. In 96 when reasonable doubt came out there was no classic talk anywhere. Now 10 years later they selling shirts and niggaz believe that shit. Negro Please alot of people are two young to remember anything before Jay-Z. Over 65% of his catalog is okay, not great. 2pac on the other hand, in life and death is killing that nigga.

    DONT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ

    BISHIP BOSS IS THE FUTURE
    Tell A Friend To Tell A Friend
    http://www.myspace.com/myspacecombishipboss

    DO YOU BELIEVE THAT
    READ IT ENOUGH TIMES YOU WILL

  • DANGER

    I KNOW WHAT GIRLS LIKE WAS THE SHIT HE KILLED IT .

  • Kbjacks

    FUCK this list… we all know S. Carter is the shit… so don’t hate..

  • E

    parkin lot pimpin was fire and i like the album with linkin park

  • Cazo

    The joints from vol 1 was crazy he murdered I know what girls like. As far as the other joints that vol 3 was garbo!!! except for big pimpmin and so ghetto

  • mike d

    I dunno wut u tryna say wit “The City Is Mine”

    Dat shit got dat soulful late night cruise shit…

    Straight heat