Etherfest ’06

Don’t look now, but our little hip-hop wing of the blogosphere is erupting into one huge, ridonkulous etherfest. I usually try to steer way clear of this shit, but I figured I’d put together a little guide for the uninitiated, since I’ve had a front row seat for so much of it.

Easily the most amusing to me so far has been the beef between XXL’s own Noz and Phonte, the best rapper in Little Brother. I guess because the Minstrel Show caught a brick, their label has got Little Brother making Gangsta Grillz CDs and playing the lowest common denominator rap circuit in places like Fayetteville, North Carolina, opening for the likes of Yung Joc, Young Dro, and Dem Franchize Boyz.

Only thing is, LCD rap audiences could give a fuck about Little Brother’s music, which is too smart for poor black people. Phonte said as much in a post on Little Brother’s MySpace blog, which set my go-to guy off. Noz countered that it isn’t so much that Little Brother is too smart for poor black people, but the fact that they kinda suck balls. OutKast and Kanye West make smart music and can play anywhere.

Which would’ve been a perfect opportunity for Phonte to counter that Little Brother’s music is, in fact, much smarter than either OutKast or Kanye’s, who both kinda suck, but I guess he’s got an image and/or career to protect. Hence today he’s furiously backpedaling, trying to claim he never actually said Little Brother was too smart for poor black people.

He also calls Noz a “cracker.” His white fans should demand an apology, lest Little Brother end up the next Defari or some shit.

Speaking of crackers, another amusing beef is the one that erupted between, again, XXL’s own kris ex and long-time hip-hop blogging gadfly Clyde Smith. I’ve had my own sordid history with this cad going all the way back to my glorious college days, but I had to give that shit up a while ago, once the talk of gunplay and threatening phone calls started.

Since then, he’s managed to mention me in about every other post at his failed hip-hop marketing blog. But I don’t bother to respond, because I don’t need those kinds of problems. For a while there, it seemed like this strategy might work, but the fact that I’ve managed to find gainful employment and make like 8x what he makes seems to have renewed his interest in fucking with me.

When it was announced that myself and my baby’s mother, among other people would be blogging for this site, he took it as an opportunity to allege journalistic impropriety on the part of Tara Henley, just because we have such a close relationship. If it wasn’t for the sacred, time-honored tradition of bros before hoes, I would’ve had to put my shoe on that cracker.

More recently, kris ex got pissed at some pretty low, even by his own standards, personal attacks Clyde Smith took at XXL boss Elliott “Yellow Wedding Cake” Wilson and his family. exo laid out the case against Clyde Smith here in a post as part of his hilarious “beef week,” and also threatened, jokingly, to slap the snot out of his nose or some such.

Clyde Smith’s responses so far have been ridonkulously bizarre and myriad, not unlike his infamous obsession with the Jay-Z Cristal boycott. So far there’s been a series of posts on his original failed hip-hop blog, which have led to the creation of a new blog on Brand Destruction focusing on kris ex – though like the true mental case that he is, he seems to have already given that up.

Word on the street is that Clyde Smith’s health is failing. Maybe his doctor managed to convince him all this beef wasn’t good for him. Lord knows I’d hate to see something bad happen to him.

  • Puerto-Black

    DAMN. GROWN-ASS MEN E-BEEFIN!!!!

    All of u need to grow up

  • goldfromthe49

    With that title i figured youd at least add another sorry soul to your own ethered list Bol.

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    First?

  • TORRY

    LB sucks balls? Come on now. Them niggas is nice. Besides, the publication you work for gave them an “XL” (which was rumored to be an “XXL” initially)rating, so they can’t be that bad. And you know as well as I do that Kanye and Outkast only sell as much as they do based on their image. If LB started rockin’ skin tight jeans and looked a little suspect, they would probably sell more.

  • Samhain Misfit

    DAMN. GROWN-ASS MEN E-BEEFIN!!!!

    All of u need to grow up

    Amen…

  • http://www.myspace.com Rey

    Uh, I meant 3rd. Anyway, this blog beef is even gayer than rap beef. You guys are like city of heroes or dungeons and dragon nerds going at it. It’s kinda sad. Also, Kanye and ‘Kast are awesome, regardless of what Byron Stern says.

  • http://novaslim.com nOva

    ROFLMAO at “I usually try to steer way clear of this shit.”

    Always good for a laugh, Bol.

    *dap*

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    phonte called noz a cracker? wow…

    clyde smith is trying to munch on kris ex? ewww….

    i’m so glad my blog gets 0 play lol. i got no time for that stuff.

  • e

    review the pimp c album bol

  • Ogeezy

    Bloggers beefin, what the fuck is the world coming to?

  • Black London….

    Dear Bol a.k.a Byron Crawford….

    FYI

    Not sure if you care but Rhymefest just Flipy-flopped in the charts.

    “..Chicago rapper Rhymefest finishes at #61 with nearly 15,000 copies of Blue Collar snatched up.”

    Snatched up!!! Done get me wrong i’ll cope it (after I download it to review it first), but DAMN.

    Rhymefest aint as nice as Lupe but I thought he would at least do between 60-90,000 units, for a top 20 place in the charts.

    HIP HOP IS NOT DEAD!!!

    but…..

    THE (MASS) LOVE FOR GOOD HIP HOP IS..

  • http://www.myspace.com/therapistmusic Therapist

    i’ve grown to enjoy your shit, but no slick talk about my city nigga

    for the record… the entire line up of the summer jam in the ville was little brother, franchize boyz, joc, young dro, clipse, cherri dennis, monica, omarion, marquez houston, rick ross, Three 6, Trillville, Field Mobb, Styles P, i’m probably forgetting somebody… a 106 and park dream come true

  • Black London….
  • yaboy

    WOW. i cant believe rhymefest did such terrible numbers. i copped that shit. i think its pretty ill.

  • Omar

    With that title i figured youd at least add another sorry soul to your own ethered list Bol.

    Yeah didn’t Bun B ether you?

  • RandomName

    I went out and bought it last Wed too. Talk about seeing your vote count. Damn. Good stuff regardless

    I feel bad for dude, I’d be willing to bet money in reality it was downloaded by at least 4-5 times as many people who actually paid for it.

  • theon1e

    Wow what a surprise you back up everyone affiliated with XXL, and shit on everyone else….what a shock. You aren’t quite as ignorant and dumb as noz, but you’re pretty damn close. I’m done with this site man…all you ever blog about is on some negative bullshit tip. BTW your photo looks like sprewell on crack…

  • Meka Soul

    internet beef… is there anything less scary than a bunch of jigs threatening to slap the steam out of each other online?

    not really.

    it does make for good reading, however.

  • Meka Soul

    internet beef… is there anything scarier than a bunch of jigs threatening to slap the steam out of each other online?

    i’m more worried about that bk stacker bol talked about on his site than some web niglets trying to ether each other.

    it does make for good reading, however.

  • Meka Soul

    internet beef… is there anything scarier than a bunch of jigs threatening to slap the steam out of each other online?

    i’m more worried about that bk stacker bol talked about on his site than some web niglets trying to ether each other. that shit made my heart hurt just by reading about it.

    it does make for good reading, however.

  • Meka Soul

    dumb slow computer. it’s making me repeat myself like a stuttering dyslexic.

  • Enlightened

    When I read this, I had no idea who the hell Clyde Smith was. I had at least remembered Kris Ex’s name from articles that have been written. So I googled some things and tried to investigate this “beef” you’re talking about and I’ve come to this conclusion. All of y’all are some square ass niggas living vicariously through hip-hop to provide you with an identity. Congratulations, you matter now. I can see you in the club talking to a broad, like “Yeah I’m Bol. You know Byron Crawford. What you don’t read xxlmag.com.” Y’all some funny niggas man. Almost as funny as rappers like The Game.

  • Danja29

    lol @ Oh Word’s Prince Paul impression. Wonder who he was talkin’ about anyway… hmm.

    And yeah, this blog rivalry is e-beef turnt all the way up.

  • Belize

    Yall are all gay! Yall gonna get high blood pressure worring about all dem homobloggers!

  • RandomName

    and the retail had 4 songs that weren’t even on the leak

  • http://www.honorablemedia.com/blog Honorable

    internet beef is wack. let’s have some e-peace. noz and phonte should take a picture together.

    calling noz a cracker is uncalled for.

  • god

    BUT STAYS ETHERED BY BUN B!!!!!!!!!!!!

    STUPID.

  • washington

    Bol – just a suggestion, but it would be nice if you could link to said columns that you’re talking about.

  • J Ball

    According to Byron ‘Bol(shit)’ Crawford, Kanye, Outkast and Pharell sucks balls and Rhymefest makes great music.

    Read that last sentence again.

    I arrest my case.

  • http://speedbored.blogspot.com Jay Guevara

    Ya’ll really need to grow the fuck up with this beef shit. I mean, I’m like 18 and I have a higher maturity level than most of these “e-thugs”

  • DrGonzo

    Bol, I read phonte’s blog, and i don’t see where he called noz a cracker.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    >According to Byron ‘Bol(shit)’ Crawford, Kanye, Outkast and Pharell sucks balls and Rhymefest makes great music.

    Rhymefest makes pretty good music. Not great.

    About those links: The XXL site was fucking up during the day when I was writing this. It took me about as long to post as it did to write, sadly.

    After all that, I didn’t feel like adding any links.

  • http://mixtapekings.com rasko one scLA

    bol,
    suck my bols you fucking OREO!
    you worse than a fucking girl at these blogs. and nigga you dont make 8 times what other people make, what the fuck you know about what other punk mufuckas make????

    watch out for LA niggas makin a comeback……. NIGRAS!

    PS, FUCK OUTA HERE BoreoL

  • Freddy Freeloader

    I have this crazy new idea: How about hiphop bloggers actually blogging about hiphop?

  • DCMadeMan

    Bol what da fuck? Do you do anything besides sit in front of the fucking computer and come up with asshole blogs like this? How you going say Little Brother’s music is too smart for black people and you “supposedly” are black. LB must not be that smart if they opening up for Yung Joc and Dem Franchise Boys. But at the same time they still rappin and they still making some money so who cares.. And who da hell cares about this bamma Noz beefing with Phonte over the net. That shows what type of niggaz they are..Smoke Sumthin Bitches!!!!

  • DJ Lucky Luke

    Yo, to all you wanksta-ass E-thugs out there let me tell you this: DJ Lucky Luke will ride to die for his nigga Byron Crawford. This nigga Clyde Smith is going down! I’m shooting my E-bullets at that nigga right now! Trust me, you don’t want it with an E-Coast nigga like DJ Lucky Luke–we’z real over here–beef-fed since birth nigga! E-SIDE!

  • tHe tRaNsIeNt

    u a faggit ass nigga bol

    i would fuck u up but u never leave yo mom basement

  • Gutta

    I MUST SAY THIS, THIS IS SOME OF THE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE READ ON THIS SITE. SEE WHAT HIP HOP DOES TO PEOPLE? NOW WE GOT COMPUTER THUGS GOIN AT EACH OTHER! I SWEAR I WOULD LAUGH MY ASS OFF IF SOMEONE GOT SHOT OR SOMETHIN CUZ OF A BLOG. THANKS FOR THE LAUGHS PPL.

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    I’m waiting for a blogger to get shot 9 times and live to never shut the fuck up about it, only to put his equally less talented blogging weed carriers’ blogs out, to ruin blogging for years to come.

    B-B-B-BLOG UNIT!

  • http://www.allhiphop.com Rey

    “equally less talented”—shit. You know what I meant.

  • Big J

    Yo this cat Noz is a lame. He deleted my post that had no profanity, but was real talk instead of all this e-bull$#it. All I said was people need to stop cosigning BS, and learn to form their own opinions about things and not take what Noz said as what Phonte said. That was his interpretation. I didn’t read it like that. Y’all clown need to stop feed cats this BS and point out that all this ignorant $#it has a short lifespan once you walk outside of your own neighborhood and have to start living life as a real grown up.

    How many trap stars do you know vs cats in jail, dead, hustling and still trying to get some rims. The media does have an effect on all of this, and so does poor “journalism”. They need to Dan Rather Noz’s career.

  • http://rakimfan.blogspot.com rakimfan

    eBeef is gay. Get money!

  • http://noneofyourbusiness.com Ace

    the difference is genius outkast and kayne were on major record labels and got the companies to shell the cash for them. most people I know who heard that lovin it single like the damn song and I never saw it once played on BET why it was too intellegent get the fuck out of here. I think magazines like an XXL and a Vibe are only being pussy cause they actually don’t have the balls to actually challenge the main stream media opinions. y’all stay having aftermath’s balls in your mouth.

  • 5 STAR X-E-Q-SHUN

    Bol get a fucking life & post a beta blog than this shit.

  • Pingback: syke.dk » Blog Archive » Is my music that ‘intelligent’ or are niggas just that dumb?

  • PONAMI

    Why are us dissing outkast and Kayne you piece of shit.

    Could you make as many quality albums as outkast, no. Could amke Miss Jackson, no. Could you make hey ya and all the other quality stuff like rosa parks, NO.

    Kayne’s got 2 multi plat and just cause he doesn’t rap about your gay fantasies you think you can keep slating him.

    Go back to ur gay porn websites bol. hip hop aint for a moanin gay like u

  • NEU.SENSE

    fuck whoever is hating on LB. xxl and the source both dicked them on the reviews why cant yall just show some love for quality music.and what exactly is their not to love dope beats dope rhymes what more do u want.A.O LB keep doin what yall do u still get love out in phoenix Azilla.HOLLA!! -NEU.SENSE

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