Rick Ross Gets Loose Off The Goose

Whenever I see images of Rick Ross the aroma of transmission fluid and parmesan cheese immediately flow throw my nostrils. And then out of no where I become constipated. Just like that. But for whatever reason I can’t help but give him my undivided attention. Not since the emergence of T-Pain have I focused in on a vagina dryer this much.

This past Tuesday while his beloved Miami Heat was in the locker room popping bottles, Rick was in New York City performing at Pier 63. It is rumored that he refused to perform until he had some Grey Goose in his system. Ah yes, there is nothing like watching a big drunk man sweating on stage. Excuse me as I wrench my panties dry.

I have some sort of twisted thing for ol’ Ricky. I’m can almost guarantee that he leaves a mean ring around the tub that not even 409 could tackle, but he does exemplify the spirit of Miami. But c’mon, you know that nigga is not that nice. Having a little swagger can open up many doors in life.

Now before you Southern cyber thugs curl your fingers to type some shit about everybody in the universe hating on someone from your region, you should know that your girl is Georgia born and bred. I just don’t see what all the fuss is about sometimes. But I’ll save my complaints for another day. While I’m on the subject of Rick, something has been on my mind for sometime and I thought I would share it with you all. I’m just saying . . .

  • rives305

    lotta ppl hatin on ross…

  • problamz

    Wow, thats funny as hell, he do look like them 2 niggaz combined….

    I’m not even goin to speak about Rick Ross lyrics, cause to me he like the next rapper out here talkin about nothing…but I wish him success like I wish all the other rappers, because he’s doin much more than everybody out there talkin shit about him

  • Lee

    Rick Ross is just another young jeezy T.I. Clone why the fuck did Jay Z co sign this guy I have Yet to hear anything in terms of lyrics from him beats are good but you can only say the same shit for so long so untill I hear his supposed classic cd I will Hold my tru feelings on him. Because he only has a handfull of songs to judge him on. But on the handfull of songs that he has He hasn’t done much G’D Up from The Feet Up only get’s you so far for so long. Step your game up homie.

  • Stinger Bell

    I don’t know about that, I’m from NYC and I’ll admit that while I wasn’t all that impressed with his skill based of “Hustlin” I’ve heard him get BIZY on subsequent joints…

  • http://www.myspace.com/iamdjtreats treats

    ross ross get the yayo

  • The ON1E

    ludacriz ethered him on the second verse of “war with god”…he ain’t doing nothing special but sweating…

  • http://www.myspace.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    305 gon’ hate this

  • http://www.myspace.com/lupefiasco 2chéLupe

    Wow..it’s been a whole week, and there has still been no mention of the down south summer jam. It involved 80% of 2006’s heaviest unitpushers….plus a Jay-Z & Beyonce apperance.

    ….U from GA!?!…
    404/770/678 gon’ hate this
    —–
    LFFL 08/08/2006
    …..and I still plan to release 24hrs early for the blokes

  • http://www.trendsettazinc.com DJ Main Event

    ross been doin it for 10 years prior to the Def Jam deal, so swagger jacking Tip and Jeezy is kind of out of the question. and yeah, apparently swagger CAN get you places. life lesson kids!

  • Dr. Colossus

    Rick Ross is just plain awefull!

  • XRAY3000

    LOL!! Vagina Dryer? Thaz some funny shit.So is that sweat on his shirt..or did he just win a wet t-shirt contest!!?

    p.s. Im not hating on him or nothing..but he does suck..

  • ghostandarkness

    dat nicca so fat he sweating gravy

  • Voy

    Fresh

    You crazy for this one! But everything you say rings true, I like his flow on Hustlin’ (yeah you know you got that one on your ipod when you need a lil motivation) but when you really listen to it all this cocaine talk make him and others irrelavent in music. Cause 20 years from now Frank Sinatra will still be relevent (and he’s maggot food) and not these jokers. Hell, Method and Redman will be more relevant than all these cocaine talking characters. And if those chicks in the pic slept with him then I’m gonna start Hustlin’!

  • randomsmartfolk

    tasteless column.. if the only purpose of your writing is to criticize, it makes it just as vain as the objects of your criticism.. when will hip hop mags get some real journalists

  • P-Matik

    rap game = crap game

  • Southern Fried

    He definitely looks like he smells like he’s been working on cars and smoking black and milds simultaneously.
    As far as his rap game, it’s alright if you into that gimmicky, grind of the moment type of thang.
    When I first saw him, I thoughtain’t this nucca a little old to be entering the game AND talking about hustlin to boot!!

  • Stand Up Guy

    I see FRESHEZY has successfully ruffled these niggas feathers online. Tasteless column? I think that was the look she was going for. ANYWAY, Rick Ross couldn’t flow to save his life. I give him about 3-5 years in the game before he retires and open up a BBQ joint.

  • LivinLegend85

    rick ross-overrated,cheap heat…and im bein honest

  • http://undeadkanyewest.blogspot.com Zombie Kanye West

    You got the formula wrong. It’s:
    – -+
    May also supposed to be a square root or som’n in there.

  • http://undeadkanyewest.blogspot.com Zombie Kanye West

    You got the formula wrong. It’s:
    (Mr. T picture) – (Jewelry picture)-(Mohawk Picture)+(75 lbs picture(give or take))
    May also supposed to be a square root or som’n in there.

  • MAN LISTEN

    Get that nigga a towel, look like he was on fire and they tried to put his ass out….

  • H-man

    lolol Never leave da square root out. Dats da whole equasion. If da means equals da ends then we have balance! EZier said dan done. Damn grammy awards passed me up. Dont mean nothin. lolol Wait til next year, Ima own dat shit. Eryone take 2. Shout out to Kanye. Yo, put dem pound keys back in my Maybach. lolol

  • Blaq Thought

    Black cows must be sacred to Puerto Ricans or something because them sexy Nina Skyy girls are hugging on that fat, sloppy, sweat nigga hard. The chick in the blue putting her head on his wet ass shoulder . . . she must like Charlotte’s Web or something cause she’s loving that pig like he’s special! Every day I’m hustling? It’s more like every day I’m Struggling (to get my pants on without breaking a sweat). Am I the only one who thinks this nigga (like Jeezy) gets co-signed by Jay because he resembles Freeway’s whole swagger (Jeezy’s ad-libs ain’t new, Freeway had ‘em too – Yeeeeeeeaaaaah! Jeezy

  • Blaq Thought

    ^ Freeway’s was Riiiiiiiiigggggghhhht.

    I think Dame is the better talent scout. Look at his track record – Beanie Seagel, Kanye West and the almighty Jay Z himself were discovered by Dame. Jay should stick to the R&B acts.

  • http://donnyslaughter.com Sayso

    First of all, I ain’t impressed wit fat boy Ross, but I don’t wanna judge too soon, cuz I wasn’t impressed wit Jeezy til I listened to tha whole CD, but if I ain’t graspin’ tha first 2 singles, which is supposed to stter your record sales, then how can I…I swear, tha things payola buys U nowadays!!!! Go to CDbaby.com and search for me, Sayso, listen to BlaXXXploitations of Donny Slaughter and if U like, cop it!!!

  • Julia_Claudine_Deveraux

    Fresh you is a damn fewl! LMAO! Just the thought of this dude “whipping it real hard” makes my stomach turn over. Like I said before, he looks like he has bacon strips in his boxers. YUCK! Rap skills are questionable too.

  • qbanita diabla

    fuck all yall niggaz hatin on rick ross yall just dont understand cuz yall dont know life in da county of dade

    fuck yall 305 till i die

  • http://donnyslaughter.com Sayso is Donny Slaughter

    Life id Dade, life in DC, life in NY, nigga we all dodgin’ tha same bullets!!! Just admit yo man is wack and old as dirt

  • http://donnyslaughter.com Sayso is Donny Slaughter

    Like Redman said “How ugly do U have to be, 2 be a hardcore emcee…”

  • http://donnyslaughter.com Sayso is Donny Slaughter
  • http://www.easterfresh.blogspot.com Easter Fresh

    Yea you got that one with the pix he look like them dudes..lol

  • Crewzta

    Rick Ross,
    Lip Gloss,
    Loves Fudge SAUCE,
    plays Lacrosse,
    drives around to get across

    man I just made his new single right there. I better get royalties.

  • Pingback: » This one’s for the ladies! - XXL

    • alana

      whatever. Hit u from the back is my SH*T!! (So is Tear it up)When you listen to music you think about you and yours, not the artist. It’s called relating.

  • Belize

    i just read this shit! fukin hilarious! word to nik cannon!

  • young zoe

    yaw some fuck ass bitches dont know shit what yaw talkin about yaw hatin on nigga yaw just some petty ass muthafuckas qbanita diabla is right niggas be dead out here every day dey on the corner every day liberty city aint no joke but its also all of florida in boynton beach an innocent man got killed by gangbangers doin a driveby so when you here rick ross talkin about haitians taking niggas for a boat ride its 100% truth

  • Hustlin’ 24

    Stop Hatin Bitches!!! Especially da nigga who posted dis lame ass blog!!!

  • ga boy dtown

    rick ross we bumping his shit in da traps short short a town”””””””””””

  • ga boy dtown

    im from ga ive been to miami hoods way harder thin nyc hoods ya;; nyc niggas got da safest city in the usa for big citys

  • ga boy dtown
  • ga boy dtown

    New York City is the safest big city in the country, according to a report from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The FBI’s 2002 “Crime in the United States” indicates that while crime increased nationwide, New York City’s crime rate actually decreased 5% to the lowest level since the 1960s. In addition, the city’s murder rate dropped 9.6% in 2002 to reach the lowest level since 1963.

    The FBI’s ranking of New York City as the safest large city in the United States means that, of all American cities with populations of 1 million or more, New York City has the lowest rate of total crime committed.

    “These statistics are terrific news for New York City’s visitor industry,” said NYC & Company President & CEO Cristyne L. Nicholas. “With winter approaching, millions of people and families from around the world will consider a trip to New York City to see its many magical holiday attractions. New York City is one of the world’s foremost family destinations and these new FBI crime reduction figures reinforce what a safe place it is to visit.”

  • ga boy dtown

    In turn, the overall homicide rate has skyrocketed.

    During the first five months of this year, the Miami-Dade medical examiner’s office logged 106 homicides across the county. That far surpassed the 70 counted in the first five months of last year.

    Despite the high number, it’s a far cry from the early 1980s, when authorities logged more than 500 homicides in each of three consecutive years. The worst year was 1981, when the medical examiner’s office recorded a staggering 621 homicides.

    Nevertheless, this year, 40 black men 30 years old or younger have been shot or stabbed to death, records show.

    In Monestime’s case, police called his death the result of an ”ongoing dispute.” A suspect was arrested a month later — Mario Jean-Pierre, who turned 17 three days after the shooting.

    ”It’s an alarming issue, No. 1 because they are very serious offenses,” said Miami-Dade Police Director Robert Parker. “And the fact that they’re happening in such a frequent and high number.”

    Said Parker, who is black: “It’s exclusively black-on-black crime.”

    ASSAULT RIFLES USED

    The deaths are also significant because, increasingly, the weapon of choice seems to be assault rifles, police say.

  • ga boy dtown

    2006-Young man found slain; fourth Dade homicide victim since Monday—————–Police officers in the Hammocks investigating a reported burglary this morning instead found a young man shot to death inside his car.

    The dead man’s identity was not released. He was in his late teens or early 20s.

    He was Miami-Dade County’s 145th homicide victim this year.

    Another bloody week — the fourth homicide since Monday, all unrelated, all men found shot to death, from Perrine to Miami Gardens.

  • Charlie

    i got Detroit love for the bin laden beard…but he better step it up a notch before he ends up losing some weight, shaving, and posing as jeezy to sell records

  • LOSERS

    man yall folks is hatin hatin hatin shit rick ross is the boss i dont hear bout none yall lil niggas on track so shut the fuck up till you make it big lil homies

  • Behemoth

    Ya really need 2 check yourself in the mirror fo weazy, stop hatin on the nigga cuz he fat and gets more girls then you in ur dreamz, dem girls wouldn’t look at him if he didn’t have cash? might be true, but atleast he’s got cash, and girls, and I bet he aint payin for his punani, now if ur music taste is more about the “chiken noodle song” then ya got issues and aint nowhere near hood, ya stuck on that commercial hip hop bullshxt, leave the nigga alone, if ya aint bout the streets dont listen to street music, there’s mad ill talent out there, from underground cats like immortal technique, and jedi mind tricks to insane niggaz almost famous like cyssaro and papoose, well papoose IS considered now famous i believe but ya nigga need to stop hatin on some one just cus of they looks, it has nothin to do with talent, and if ya wanna talk shit about steppin they game up, ya need to check urself, get of the computer and step ya game up. go steal 50 bucks from ya mama, get some good treez, and work ya way up, save up for a good lawyer in case ya get caught, and when ya do good, cop some nice wheels and maybe ya can get girls too, til ya drop atleast 1 album that’s going to be certified platinum don’t hate, Ross got talent and if ya dont like cocaine talk dont listen to him, if ya dont like kill. rape and torture music dont listen to necro, if ya dont like gang related issues dont be around hood related shit, my hoods got niggaz that kill for no good reason. they hood which u aint so get off his nuts (413) Springfield Ma.

  • KA$I LOKO

    RICK ROSS IS THE REALEST! 1ST OF ALL!THAZ ALL I GOTTA SAY….

  • Unquestioned Leader

    You’all are not looking from a business perspective Jay-z is a genius cuz if rick ross is another young jeezy thats a lot of doe coming in

  • Grind

    forget everybody, what ya’all really know bout ross? hit that push it, the white house, comeon grow some streets cred and then holla at my boy ross. HATERS, county of dade, north miami fo life

  • Young G

    What does the columnist have agianst Rick Ross. Was this an article written by some upset female? Cause no man would immdiately think of what a man is gonna smell like!! The first thing that came to my mind was sick sick things with those girls— they sister’s???

  • leads

    perfect site !!!!!!!! Perfect piece of work fellows !!!!!!!

  • http://www.theonlineslotmachine.com/# Play Games

    Whoa….check out this page…hmmm, and I thought this was only for the kids

  • prescription

    I admire you on the willingness to share this info with others – good luck!

  • BigWhite

    Ya’ll don’t know what you talk about. Ross is straight flowin’, apparently you haven’t heard his mixtapes. Don’t hate change. He is official and about to take off. 300 pounds, and its time to eat. Boss! Trillaaaaa

  • SPURLOCK

    READ $$$ READ $$$ READ $$$ READ $$$: ERY-BODY

    SPURLOCK(VA)
    804 DA COMMONWEALTH- CAN U SURVIVE IT

    I READ ALL YALL HATERS BLOGS, TOP-TO-BOTTOM. I GUESS THEY CALL’D BLOGS. SHOULD BE CALLED HATE SESSIONS-MOST OF YALL ARE SOME PATHETIC HATERS. YALL PEOPLE ARE SOME HATTIN AZZ FOLK.

    A MAN CANT COME FROM NOTHIN 2 SOMETHIN & HAVE THANGS, HUH. I BET IF DAT MAN SAID U CAN GET ON A SONG, OR HERE GO A JOB FOR YO BROKE SELF, OR HERE GO SOME CHIPS, I BET YO FREE- LOADIN SELF BE RIGHT THERE, WITH YO HANDS OUT.
    (I BET U JUMP RIGHT ON IT).

    ON DA REAL, BAIBOI IS GONNA FILL THE BIGMAN VOID FOR A MINUTE TO COME, WHOELSE HAS DONE IT IN A WHILE, BUT J AND THEY CHILLIN UNDER THE SAME LIMELIGHT RIGHT NOW….
    NO HOMO…FROM VA TO MIA….

    ROSS —– KEEP SPEEDIN BIG HOMMIE —–STRAIGHT PASS THEM HATE — MAYBACH MAYHEM BABY

    (P.S.)(REAL TALK)-
    IF ANYBODY CAN GET AT ROSS OR HIS MANAGEMENT I GOT BUSINESS FOR THE HOMMIE…

    TRSTRADITION@opps dats YoGirl.com

  • khalil amani

    Internet Gangsterism: Hip-Hop’s New Millennium Drive-By!

    (www.hoodgrownonline.com)

    The “hateration” and “bitchassness” in hip-hop is unparalleled on the Internet! Sometimes I wish I could jump through my computer screen, right into a dude’s bedroom and slap fire out a cat’s ass (Beam me up Scotty!)—put my foot so far up a dude’s ass that his breath will smell like shoe polish—hit him so hard that it’ll jar his kinfolk in Africa—punch him with a left until he begs me for a right! Goddamned Internet thugs!

    The Internet gives a nigga courage to say shyt that he would otherwise keep to himself. No more “liquid courage” (alcohol) needed! It’s all about the keystroke! It’s all about Rams, megabytes, gigabytes, high-speed Internet access and a shyt-load of time on your hands.

    Bloggers and hip-hop heads feed into this need to expose and hate on rap stars at every turn! Admittedly, some of these rappers need a good literary lashing (Suge Knight, Ricky Rawssss!), but a lot of it is just plain ol’ hate and bandwagon jumping!

    The Internet litmus test for writing negative shyt should be, “Am I man or woman enough to say this to their face?” If errybody applied this simple and soul-searching concept, there’d be a lot less hate going on—take a moment and choose your words wisely, keeping in mind what “The Good Book” says, “…the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things… for every kind of beast…hath been tamed but the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison… Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it [talking shit] shall eat the fruit thereof [get what's coming to them!] (James 3:5-8, Proverbs 18:21). The truth can be written about your favorite rap star without dehumanizing him or her!