Everybody Hates Cris’

Jay-Z is planning a brand new takeover and it won’t be on one of your favorite rappers. He will reportedly change the Cristal-referencing lyrics of “Dead Presidents,” “Can’t Knock the Hustle”, “Brooklyn’s Finest”, and “Feelin’ It” this Sunday at the concert marking the 10th anniversary of “Reasonable Doubt.”

From the beginning of “Cristal Gate” everyone has been lending their two cents about President Carter boycotting the bubbly beverage, so I decided that my opinion was long over due.

I could give two fucks about any this. Really. If you guys want to get technical, I’ve been boycotting Cristal for about a decade now. I can’t afford the shit, so I choose not to drink it. End of story. And after pictures of Kimora Lee Simmons soaking her little piggies in the drink surfaced earlier this year, that sealed the deal for me.

Jay may need to come up with a new favorite beverage, especially since him and Beyonce are keeping Mr. and Mrs. Jones company nowdays. The rappers and their women caught a special live Prince show this past Friday.I’m assuming that this was a special treat for Beyonce since she was ambushed at lunch by those crazy ass PETA folks the day before. After watching the footage, I immediately started to speculate in my mind what would have happened if Hova was with her. He probably would’ve thrown his diamond in the sky before attempting to grab the camera.

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  • http://nahright.com eskay

    “Cristal Gate”

    that’s me right there

  • suckitmarshall

    Um, okay. Thanks for the, uh, insights.

  • http://www.myspace.com/geoffdilkes G Off

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Jay invested in one of the other brands of high end champagne and started promoting it instead.

    If I went to the Reasonable Doubt show I wouldn’t want the lyrics changed though.

  • http://xxlmag.com fresh

    It shol is Eskay.

  • D Money

    Word up Fresh!That Kimora Lee Simmons photo can be the “unwanted attention” that the good folks at Cristal are talkin bout.Thats a grotesque look for their brand!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/lone_Nigerian lone Nigerian

    I don’t know why but i thoght you were talking about her kids when you said “soaking her little piggies”. I feel bad now.

    Anyway people shouldn’t buy Cristal just b/c there are better things they can spend their money on, i.e. helping the poor, aids-stricken, etc. You know the same people rappers are always excusing the government of not caring about.

  • Loomis Simmons

    I’ve always wondered why these stupid rappers give these multibillion dollar companies all this free publicity. I’m hoping the rest will take note and put a stop to it. That just goes to show you that many of these companies still do not value the “black dollar” and many black do not have any concept of a dollar.

  • jenali

    lmao @ “He probably would’ve thrown his diamond in the sky before attempting to grab the camera”

    you’re hilarious fresh!

  • H-man

    Baby Phat. Damn, dos feet in crystal. Dat gets me real randy. whoooooooo

  • lone1

    Good read…and shit…I would not mind being the next person Kimora Lee Simmons fucks over.

  • calichick

    That’s not Cristal being poured on Kimora’s feet. It’s Pierre Jouet La
    Cuvee Belle Epoque Rose.

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