Chamillionaire “Ridin” is the number one song in the country and Yung Joc “It’s Goin’ Down” is the number one song on the Black People charts. Yeah we can’t sell any albums since T.I. but hip-hop isn’t dead. Sorry Esco(1).
“The Mighty O.” Produced by Organized Noize! C’mon kids, the proof is in the pudding. Yup, this is one of those in-the-vaults joints that I told y’all ‘Kast had stored. The brand plays on!
Chingy(2) has a new song featuring Tyrese(3) and produced by Jermaine Dupri(4). I haven’t heard it but think we can safely make the assumption that it sucks. Wonder what J Prince feels about shawty callin’ his label Slot-a-Lot(5) Records
I thought this Lil Jon “Snap Yo Fingers” shit was a brick. In fact, it’s huge. I need to get a satellite radio(6) ’cause it ain’t gettin’ no burn in the Tri-Sate. I thought we was ridin’ the South’s dick? (I’m too old for no homo. And nullus is gay.)
Guess Field Mob lucked out gettin’ Ciara(7) on their single. Pop radio loves her ass.
Mary J. really insists on creditin’ her rappin’ alter ego Brook-lyn(8). Cor-ny. That’s some wack-ass Arsenio Hall/Chunky A shit.
Who’s playing Paul Wall’s Chi-Lites swagger-jack “Girl’? This reminds me of that old Special Ed(9) rhyme “Can’t taste the juice ’cause I got the Motts/I heard you paid for your Billboard spots.” I see you, Atlantic. Allegedly, of course.
“Shoulder Lean” is creepin’ up the charts. Go Young Dro!
36’s “Poppin’ My Collar” is certified gold. I thought “Stay Fly” was the big hit.
Dem Franchize Boyz’s “Ridin Rims” is produced by Young Juve. Does Juvenile(10) have a son that’ll put E-40 seed’s beats to shame?
Gucci Mane “Go Ahead”? Is that from the last album? Who’s still supportin’ Gucci Mane? I don’t even know if the nigga’s free or in jail.
I need to brush up on my rap-cameo/R&B songs: Scoundrel Squad(11) featuring Bun-B (“Sister”); Cherish featuring Sean Paul of the Youngbloodz (“Do it To It”); and Megan Rochell featuring Fabolous (“The One You Need”).
Lil Wayne’s “Hustler Musik” probably wasn’t the right single choice. He would have faired better with “Money On My Mind.” Or he could’ve have just dropped that Alan Thicke(12) joint. Hey Weezy, just cause you sell that doesn’t make you a sell out. I’m out.
Go get your footnotes. Go get your footnotes(13):
(1) I love when Eskay sons the Nas stans. That’s edutainment!
(2) This kid resides in Denial Land.
(3) Baby boy needs to battle Nick Cannon for Rap Impasta of the year!
(4) Wonder if dude is feelin’ his honey bun flashin’ her belly all up in the gossip rags?
(5) Not from Vegas but I slot a lot…
(6) Sirius, holla at da bossman. We only did a mag together.
(7) I’m sure every rapper is stalking her now that she put the little dog to sleep.
(8) Ain’t Mrs. Isaacs from Money Earnin’ Mount Vernon? What gives?
(9) Boy did that guy not age well.
(10) Reality Check really came and went. Even Nessa Satten ain’t bumpin’ that music.
(11) I’m just assuming their singers with a name like that.
(12) I mean his son. You know, Pharrell’s buddy.
(13) I heard exo is the architect of this style.