The Way We Ball

That’s right, sports fans: The NBA playoffs are here. Which means on the nightly, you can catch me and the wife flopped down on the living room couch enjoying the action. She’s riding with Avery and the Mavericks while your boy YN just wants some crunch-time games, a buzzer beater or two and somehow, someway a team to step and save us from the impending Pistons-Spurs snoozefest.

Equally dismal as that thought, is many of these jump-shooting athletes continued obsession with trying to be MCs. Yeah, it’s been long documented. These big niggas love to spit and they sound like shit. Still there have been some moments in NBA Hip-Hop that deserve to be documented. And who better to put it all together, than the man right chea. So grab your ear-plugs, turn up the volume and rock these funky joints.

YN’s B-Ball Raps Volume 1

Allen Iverson, oops, we mean, Jewelz “40 Bars” (2001)

How ’bout some hardcore? A.I. got the answer
B-Baller Quotable: “Come at with me faggot tendencies/You’ll be sleeping where the maggots be.” Ouch!

Allen Iverson feat. Harlem World & Mysonne “Pay Per View” (1999)

Murder Mase assists the murder raps.
B-Baller Quotable: “True baller/I fuck and you call her/I bust nuts and you spoil her.” Carm down, I mean calm down.

Shaquille O’Neal feat. Nas, Jay-Z & Lord Tariq “No Love Lost” (1996)

The big guy brought the mega-powers together on wax, that is, until Nas vocals were removed.
B-Baller Quotable: “What’s the meaning of life?/Y’all should know/In my lifetime, I need a whole lot of dough.” Swagger jacker!

Shaquille O’Neal “How To Rob The NBA” (2004)

Taking a page out of 50′s book, Kazaam talks greasy on the comp.
B-Baller Quotable: “I got three rings fool/Yao Ming, who?/Y’all don’t realize what y’all facin’/'Cause I’ma catch Lebron at the graduation.”

Shaquille O’Neal feat. Money Mark “You Not The Fighting Type” (2004)
Superman channels Slim Shady and lets it out his true feelings.
B-Baller Quotable: “Even with wings you never fly as me/You remind me of Kobe Bryant tryin’ to be high as me (punk)/But you can’t, even if you gettin’ me traded/Wherevever I’m at, I’m Puffy, you Mase and you still hated (message)/I heard your little interview and what Ben Walllace said/I ain’t got no response for spider-web head.” Duck down!

Tony Parker feat. Fabolous & Booba “Top of the Game” (2005)

F-A-B-O with the S-P-U-R who’s twistin’ out E-V-A.
B-Baller Quotable: I don’t understand that Frenchie shit. Je m’appelle Elliott Wilson. La Maison. That’s about it.

T-Hud (a.k.a. Timberwolves Troy Hudson) feat. Twista, Beelow & Crucial Conflict “Killa Noize” (2004)

A Mid-West mess.
B-Baller Quotable: “I ain’t a killer but don’t push me/Do you feel Troy?” Swagger Jacker 2!

Kobe Bryant feat. 50 Cent & Broady Boy “Thug Poet” (2000)

With Nas on the hook, Mr. 81 is out for lyrics to represent him. But even Fif’s Trackmaster favor can’t help.
B-Baller Quotable: “Kick in the do’ wavin’ the flow-flow/All you heard was stop, can’t take the hits no more.” Swagger Jacker 3!

Kobe Bryant feat. Beanie Sigel, Black Thought & Broady Boy “Philly’s Finest (a.k.a. Philly Live)” (2000)

Eat your hearts out Eve and Charli.
B-Baller Quotable: “The hottest man since Satan.” Lord have mercy.

Brian McKnight feat. Kobe Bryant & Tone “Hold Me (Trackmasters Remix)” (1997)
KB shows a little sensitivity.
B-Baller Quotable: “I refuse to weep/Yet when I sleep I feel tears trickling down my cheek.” Oh!

Allure feat. Ron Artest “I Feel So” (2004)

He signed them so, of course, he can put himself on the record.
B-Baller Quotable: “I roar when we do it raw like ti-gers.” Ron-Ron’s an animal.

Ron Artest “Make a Wish” (2000)

God please make him a better rapper.
B-Baller Quotable: “I wish people would stop tellin’ me to get out the hood.” Queensbridge, stand up.

Chris Webber feat. Kurupt “Gangsta! Gangsta! (How U Do It)” (1999)
C Dub gets a pass to take it to the Westside.
B-Baller Quotable: “Been with many bitches but never been turned out.” Take that, Tyra!

Chris Webber feat. Redman “Nuttin’ ta Do” (1999)
This guy really likes to play pass the mic with his favorite rappers.
B-Baller Quotable: “I’m at home to relieve the stress/I’m on some big breasts/Thumpin’ out my treasure chest.” Sex for the sport of it?

Brian Shaw “Anything Can Happen” (1994)

It takes a retired player to come with the best material. This cat’s been through more drama than 50 or a Baldwin.
B-Baller Quotable: “A lot of people be likin’ to say that they down with me/But ain’t nann one of them folks lost their whole damn family.”

Jason Kidd feat. Money B “What the Kidd Didd” (1994)

Oh, no he diddn’t!
B-Baller Quotable: “J Kidd kickin’ ass like Jim Kelly.” We’re scared.

Gary Payton “Livin’ Legal and Large” (1994)

GP’s slow flow can you put to sleep.
B-Baller Quotable: “That’s real/We all know the deal/And for those who criticize I’m not tryin’ to be Shaquille.” Thanks for the clarity.

Dana Barros & Cedric Ceballos featuring Sadat X, Grand Puba & AG “Ya Don’t Stop” (1994)

The only true NBA Hip-Hop posse cut powered by Diamond D production.
B-Baller Quotable: Barros’ “Used to be a mad Supersonic but they fronted/Kicked to the east up in Philly now I run it.” That was until, A.I. came to town.

BONUS:
E-40 “Record Haters” (1996)

A future Piston gets the gas face.

  • Belize

    yahh E-40 killed “whats that niggaz name?…RASHEED WALLACE”….haaa, but y u forget slam by shaq?

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    oh I’m not up on A LOT of this! Had no idea J Kidd did hip-hop tracks! Or that Shaq How to Rob jawn…

    I hope my Nets do some damage.

    I still say Pistons vs Spurs, Pistons win in 7

  • http://biochemicalslang.blogspot.com Vik

    thanks.

    needed to laugh.

    funny funny stuff.

  • Slang Editor

    Is there only audio up for that first Juelz—oops, I mean, Jewelz track…?

  • Slang Editor

    Never mind my above post. All songs came up in IE browser, but fyi, in my Firefox browser, there’s only a play button/audio for the first joint.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    Excellent post; many of the were unknown to me.

    Anyone know of any tracks dropped by NFL or MLB players??? (New post, heh!…heh?!?)

  • http://33jones.com jones

    I hate to admit this, but there was actually a track that Allen Iverson put out that I liked. It was essentially A.I. doing a poor man’s Mobb Deep, but the beat was solid. It was on a DJ Clue tape (maybe Clue For President), sadly I can’t remember the name of it.

  • iw11

    my baby bulls run this nba shiznit.

    myspace.com/idubya11

  • gerv

    On the real Allen Iverson’s shit ain’t that bad at all.

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  • Joe

    That 40 bars was hard!! I was feelin’ that joint yo.

  • Tunez

    I don’t know how you could forget Shaq & Biggie – Can’t Stop The Reign

  • http://www.reedan.com Dap

    You forgot that song ‘Sheed did back in the dayz with a philly crew (forget their name)…They also did a video for it, Rashhed plugged it on his BET’s Top 20 videos. He really had a tight flow at the time!!! Maybe someone can find it somewhere ;-)

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  • http://GOGETUS.com Broady Boy

    GETBACKATME if you are looking for a copy of that PHILLY LIVE track or THUG POET—EARLY

  • Scrill Gates

    Jason Kidd…

    “I was good on the dribble like an infant.”…priceless.

  • http://heshers.org/ chris b

    what? no cedric ceballos? i think they had a video for “flow on,” which was produced by warren g. the track even had a buckwild remix. the b-side was “check it” which was produced by (“luck of…”) lucien, and thst had a muggs remix.

  • http://heshers.org/ chris b

    nevermind, i just saw the barros-ceballos joint…

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  • Dunk-A-Fella

    The basketball and hip-hop culture fusion time-period of the past 23+ year’s that is now being called The “Dunkadelic-Era” In America, 1984-Present will be celebrating it’s 25th Anniversary during the year 2009 (1984-2009). Allen Iverson is the #1 Most Influential figure during The “Dunkadelic-Era.” Dunkadelic (adj) the fusion of basketball and hip-hop inspired by the cultural aesthetics of urban style, fashion, and style.

  • BaLL HaRdEr

    im tryn to find a download for this joint rite her but cant find 1 and1z got a link or the file send it to me at kobe024bryant024@yahoo.comKobe Bryant feat. Beanie Sigel, Black Thought & Broady Boy “Philly’s Finest (a.k.a. Philly Live)” (2000)

  • http://weed.tophooligan.com Cannabis Blog

    Yeah, there some good joints right thurrrr

  • http://kingtime.ru/ KingTime

    Да уж, это конечно же нелегко. :)

  • http://ukrproekt.com.ua/ Александр

    Премного благодарен за то что просветили, выводы сответственные обязательно сделаем. ;)

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    Hi..I am reading your page for a few days now is there any way to subscribe by email