History’s all-time great etherings

With all the talk lately about people getting ethered, I thought it would be instructive to take a look at some of history’s all-time great etherings.

Japan ethered by the Atom Bomb, 1945. As recounted in the awesome Errol Morris documentary The Fog of War, the United States sonned the shit of Japan in 1945, dropping atomic bombs on the cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The fact that these bombings killed like half the country combined with the fact they arguably weren’t even necessary makes this one of the gulliest moments in this country’s history. Go USA!

Sharon Tate ethered by the Manson Family, 1969. One summer night in 1969, a gang of dirty hippies showed up to the house of Chinatown director Roman Polanski looking for, if I’m not mistaken, one of the guys from the Beach Boys. He was nowhere to be found, but since they had already come all that way, they took the opportunity to son the shit out of Polanski’s pregnant wife, actress Sharon Tate, and about 5 or 6 other people who happened to be there (remember, this was the ’60s).

Space Shuttle Challenger ethered by an explosion, 1986. The fact that the Space Shuttle Challenger was ethered live on national television, while children were watching, could very well make it the GEOAT – the greatest ethering of all time. Among its crew members were New Hampshire school teacher Christa McAuliffe and Ronald E. McNair, the first black man to be ethered in space.

Christopher Reeve ethered by a horse, 1995. By the mid ’90s, Superman actor Christopher Reeve was hard up for acting jobs and had taken up competing in cross country horse riding events. During a preliminary run for one such event, Reeve was thrown from his horse and ended up landing square on his head, ethering the shit out of his neck. He was rendered a quadriplegic and died about 10 years later, because the President wouldn’t approve funding for stem cell research.

New Orleans ethered by Hurricane Katrina, 2005. As far as natural disasters go, Hurricane Katrina sonned the shit out of New Orleans! Where as your typical hurricane knocks the roof off the houses of a few rich white people in Florida, for which they collect beaucoup insurance compensation, Hurricane Katrina left New Orleans looking like a scene from some third world country. Dead bodies are still floating in the street to this day.

  • http://www.unkut.com Robbie

    Bol’s XXL blog ethers the ones by mixtape “DJs”.

  • Nigeria

    Bol ethered Bun B

  • Roc the Trashman

    Bol ever since you got on XXL it seems like youre going out of your way to get attention.

  • Combat Jack

    Don’t forget the events of September 11, 2001. Incredible effin ethering if I say so (not to sound un-patriotic-like). The real Taliban Dip-set dropped it like it was effin HOT!!!

  • http://hiphop.blogs.com Hashim

    Pizarro ethered Atahuallpa at Cajamarca.

    Hommie led dozens of Spaniards to defeat thousands of Native Americans in a day, and captured their king, only to hold him for ransom, then killed him anyway.

  • gerv

    What does this have to do with Hip-Hop?

  • http://www.latinounderground.blogspot.com books brown

    might I add a historical note?

    The 60′s witnessed the birth of televised public etherings. The Kennedy brothers (Tag-Team Ether Champions); The honorable Detroit Red and Martin Luther the King II; the homies setting stores (and then their futures)aflame in Chicago and Watts; throw in students at Kent State and a swath of dead student protesters in Mexico City, and we’ve set the stage for measuring the entertainment value ethering. Don’t change the channel, son, or get sonned.

    Bol, now that you’ve pioneered ethering via satellite, can we count on some pay-per-view shit?

  • janice

    Forget about Hip Hop for a second and learn some thing.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    I’m trying to provide hip-hop with a sense of historical perspective.

  • http://www.myspace.com/geoffdilkes G Off

    Mike Tyson ethered Holyfield’s ear.

  • DocZeus

    To ether someone is to insult them. Not kill them. Let it go.

  • Mikey Ess AKA SukedowN

    You may have left out the largest mass ethering the US has ever seen…

    Kenneth “I Wanna” Lay and Jeffrey “Double Jeopardy” Skilling, ethered thousands of loyal blue collar American workers by basically funneling over 300 million of the workers’ 401k into their own pockets, and then resigning!!!

    If that’s not an all-out sonning,I don’t know what is!!!

    Honorable Mention:

    2003 Pittsburg Pirates vs. Milwaukee Brewers

    As is tradition during Brewers home games, 4 types of sausage mascots stage a footrace, as the fans cheer them along.

    However, Pirates first baseman Randall Simon didn’t see the humor in this, as he took his bat and wacked Guido, the Italian Sausage, over his fake head sending the mascot tumbling to the ground.

    After the game, Simon was arrested for assualt by the MPD.

    Talk about a double sonning!!!

  • Doc Flav

    To My Fellow Doctorate Zeus, Thank You. Ether Is A Chemical Used As An Anesthesia To Knock Out Patients In Early Medicine. Often Seen On Tv Or Film, When Its Put On A Rag And Placed Over A Victims Mouth To Kidnap Them. Ether Does Not Equal Kill.

  • Doc Flav

    For Example, Bol Ethered (knocked out) My Comments In his Blog Yesterday. :-} LOL

  • daesonesb

    http://www.ghettoruff.co.za/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=426&PN=1

    This is kinda interestin’ if you take the time to read it ….

    You could use some of this shit to take some fuckaz to ethertonville.

  • http://nationofthizzlam.blogspot.com staxwell

    The hundred year anniversary is approaching (the 18th, I think) of the ethering of San Francisco by an earthquake. It was the subsequent fire that really sonned the shit out of the city.

  • Lefty 2Gunz

    I gotta give it to you Bol you’re a heartless S.O.B.
    Nobody or anything is safe. lol

    Not to be making light of others misfortunes but this sh!t is crazy.

    I thought this was gonna be on some rap beef type sh!t and you bring out that historical sh!t…do your thing b

  • YuNg World

    Real talk you are a waste of Eliot Wilson’s BUDGET you write about stuff that has nothing that anyone can bring any life learning lesson’s I’m a young black man, and I give you a chance and all you do is give your blogs good titles you might of had one that you can bring any knowledge from, you must get paid per comment, that just shows just cause you have a college degree doesn’t mean you fit the job all you do is hate why you so mad son fill us in I think you are one of those anti-social cats that got picked go get wet, and your bringing xxl down Tell EW to holla at me and I’ll give him a blog worth reading cause I tried it know I’m knocking it you do not belong go write for the ROLLING STONE

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    Bol is a waste? if anything, Bol brings in more hits to the site, which has to increase the revenue advertisers will pay to place ads on this site… how is that a waste?

  • http://www.crooked-soul.com Zilla

    Bol–

    There is nothing funnier than reading your columns and then checking the feedback columns of all these internet thugs who are ice-grilling you on Facebook.com
    This is probably the funniest thing I’ve read you write so far.
    Keep it up, home skillet.

  • http://geekbird.blogspot.com geekbird

    remember when Randy Johnson ethered the shit out of that one bird??? That was some serious motherfucking sonning.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=kIhvqobMOp8&search=randy%20johnson

  • http://geekbird.blogspot.com geekbird

    Remember when George W. Bush ethered the fuck out of the United States by getting elected? That’s a steady dose of some serious ethering.

  • Combat Jack

    On Monday March 30th, 1981 John W. Hinkley Jr. wrote a letter to actress Jodie Foster describing his plan to assassinate President Reagan, to impress her with his “historical deed,” left his hotel room and took a cab to the Washington Hilton where Reagan was to speak to a labor convention at 1:45 p.m.

    At 1:30 p.m., John Hinckley Jr. stepped forward from a crowd of television reporters and fired six shots from a Rohm R6-14 revolver. The bullets from Hinckley’s gun struck Ronald Reagan in the left chest, Press Secretary James Brady in the left temple, Officer Thomas Delahanty in the neck, and Security Agent Timothy J. McCarthy in the stomach. Hinckley was immediately arrested, and his trial began over a year later, on May 4, 1982. On June 21, 1982, after seven weeks of testimony and three days of deliberation by the jury, John Hinckley Jr. was found not guilty by reason of insanity. He currently resides at St. Elizabeth’s Mental Hospital in Washington, D.C.

    Now that’s some gully ethering shit right there. I remember seeing that jernt live on t.v. Saw that space shuttle shit live too. Dayum, I’m about to change my name to Uncle Combat Jack for you young fucks.

  • Combat Jack

    Oh yeah, let’s not forget why this weekend, Christians worldwide gather celebrate’s one of the, if not THE most historical ethering of all effin time, Jaysis H. Christ getting ethered, raw dog, nail in the wood style on an effin cross a few cents back. That had to hurt.

  • http://rockthedub.blogspot.com khal

    Dubya getting elected is an example of America ethering itself, no?

    And, according to scripture, Jaysis’ death/re-emergence was chalked up to divine will, and he knew about it, so he really ethered himself…

  • the ether bunny

    How do you leave out what is probably my all-time favourite ethering? The Holocaust ethered those covetous hooknoses so good they needed a whole new country to run to.

  • BlackimusPrime

    This XXL site just isn’t ready for the level of ignorance this shit is going to bring… they just not ready.

  • Doc Flav

    And When I Speak Out On The Racial Comments, My Posts Get Deleted. Im Tired Of Seeing The Crap Posted By Individuals You Dragged From Your Other Site Who Dont Have The Best Interests Of The Music And Fans This Site Is Designed For. Im Sure The ADL Would Find Interest In The HookNose Holocaust Comment As Well As The Israeli Jabs And No Need To Mention The Jigaboo Slurrs. Its Okay To Be Sarcastic And Critical With Satire, But CLEAN UP THAT BIGOTED GARBAGE! Disrespectful Statements Toward Mexicans, Come On Dude! Go Ahead And Edit This I Want You To, I Know Who To Contact, And My Pen Is A Mighty Sword Against Your Butter Knife, My Friend. Lets See If The Site Traffic Generated By You, Unpaid No Less, Will Be Worth Loss Of Magazine Sales And Negative Press From The Majority Owned Jewish Media. Will It Be Worth “The Laughs.” Go Ahead, Edit This Post And Dont Edit The Racial Ones. My Lifestyle Allows Me The Luxury, Time And Resources To Get Results, I Think You Know That.

  • the ether bunny

    hey nice shift key, fag

  • critic bully

    bol = crackbaby, aka beetlebol.

    you’re like “beetlejuice” from the howard stern show, but worse. so don’t wet your keyboard with your tears angus, nobody cares. you fucking internet pinata. so get over it. you will always be forever and ever, ethered by bun b, ethered by bun b, BOO! you damn crackbaby.

    you are now “beetlebol”.

  • YOUNG JEEZY

    what about when the us government ethered all those african tribes by enslaving them and making them work in the sugar and cotton plantations.

    smh, this is what journalism has come to? the internet is great becasue it turns the traditional media system on its head, and this is what happens? so much for helping make the world a better place

  • kyle

    bol is the shit.. keep it up white boy

  • projectnrm

    No tact whatsoever…

  • ronburgandy

    maybe one of the best etherings of all time, both on account of straight up gulliness and unexpectedness, was japan’s sonning of pearl harbor, which led to the first ethering on this list.

  • Gerald

    How bout those Jap internment camps back in WWII. Those orientals got sonned, son!! FDR gave those muthafuckas one hell of an ethering.

  • bol’s slavemaster

    when bol was ethered by bun b!
    classic!

    do the truffle shuffle moolie.

    attack the wack! attack the wack! attack the wack! attack the wack!

    attack the wack! attack the wack! attack the wack! attack the wack!

  • http://gaccuworld.blogspot.com/ Antonio

    At the EU Parliament, Berlusconi ethered that German MP and made a fool of himself in the process. I think there’s a lesson to learn in that…

  • HIS-STORY

    Europeans ethering the whole planet,and
    everything in it(flora/fauna/people),
    and then once it was done, further ethered the mind-set of every indigenous people into believing that all should be forgotten/forgiven and even worse the
    victims should be happy and thankful for the present state of affairs…the nerve:)

  • Danja29

    What about the times when you ethered yourself by typin’ shock blogs to get attention?

    And yeah I know- I just gave you said attention. Self-ether.

  • http://www.xanga.com/vivache viva

    Your attempts to give “ether” and “son” the “no homo” treatment are futile, man. Try as you like, you’re not going to be able to spin this Bun-B shit your way.

  • arturo

    damn, bun b ethered you. the effects of your homotions are still showing.

  • BolRoker

    c’mon buddy… really?

  • Gerald

    Happy Ether everyone! How could we forget the greatest ethering of all history, the crucification of our lord and saviour Jesus MOtherfucking “Son” Christ?

  • DCMadeMan

    I ethered your girl last night….

  • Inc0gnit0

    Bol you’re quite a character.

    Getting ethered by Bun B did wonders…

  • Gutta

    im all for history discussion but i thought this site was for hip-hop fans who discuss the culture not people who dont know the fist thing about rap and try to prove their history knowledge by bringing up events that have nothing to do with XXL or hip-hop music,but on the real i wanna see a transcrip or something of that BOL and Bun-B convo…where can i find that? ,lol

  • Gutta

    pardon me,first*…transcript*

  • NO_TOWN_CA_559

    this is the the stupidest thing ive evr heard of turning tragedies into a hip hop article just to get fame Bol u is one dumb muthafucka

  • Theodore Lumpkins

    WOW! This column is pure garbage. Bol just ethered himself.

    HAHA.

  • 8thstreetdime

    Can someone please share the story with me on how bol got ethered by bun b, I missed that story. Is there a website I could go to to find the article, I’m kinda new to this site, so if anyone can send me the story or the article or where to find it, that would be very much appreciated. Thank u.

  • http://www.gmail.com Kroov Hamuts

    Realy? That’s 42457 crazy!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/16kingz thebestout!!

    “DAVE MAYS ETHERED SOURCE WITH ASISSTANCE FROM BITCHZINHO”

    SHIT HOW YOU GON FORGET THE MOST RELEVANT TOPIC!? AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A XXL LACKEY NIGGA GET OFF THE COMPUTER AND CONTINUE RAKING KIM ROSARIO’S LEAVES BEFORE YOU FIRE YOU NIGGA!!

  • Steve

    What Kinda Fuckin Person R U? “Ethered” Sharon Tate. Thats Just Disrespectful. They Stabbed An Eight Month Pregnant Woman 8 Times And Hung Her From A Ceiling Bean In Her House. They Brutal Murdered The Other People Present That Night Either By Slicing Their Throats So Violently Or Bashing Their Heads In With Hammers. And The Poor Guy In The Driveway Who Got Pumped Full Of Lead.

    Ya Write Ignorant Shit Like That, Then U Wonder Why People Could Careless About Slavery. SMH

  • Fernando

    Steve –

    What the fuck is your problem? U r gonna come on here talking shit about Bol being a fucked up person (which he is) & then point out the Sharon Tate incident as the most disrespectful thing he said??? Japan being “ethered” is waaaaayyyyy worse as far as disrespect goes. Chris Reeves aint much better…..although all of it is funny just because how effed up it is. Japan being “sonned” by the A-Bomb is just wrong. HA

  • Steve

    A Prolonged, Agonizing Death For A Heavily Pregnant Woman vs Superman Breaking His Neck Horse Riding And Instant Death For Thousands Of People. I’m Not Saying The A-Bombs Weren’t Bad, But The People In Them Were Paying For Their Other Countrymen’s Atrocities.

    U Tell Me, What Did Sharon Tate Eva Do 2 Charles Manson