With all the talk lately about people getting ethered, I thought it would be instructive to take a look at some of history’s all-time great etherings.
Japan ethered by the Atom Bomb, 1945. As recounted in the awesome Errol Morris documentary The Fog of War, the United States sonned the shit of Japan in 1945, dropping atomic bombs on the cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The fact that these bombings killed like half the country combined with the fact they arguably weren’t even necessary makes this one of the gulliest moments in this country’s history. Go USA!
Sharon Tate ethered by the Manson Family, 1969. One summer night in 1969, a gang of dirty hippies showed up to the house of Chinatown director Roman Polanski looking for, if I’m not mistaken, one of the guys from the Beach Boys. He was nowhere to be found, but since they had already come all that way, they took the opportunity to son the shit out of Polanski’s pregnant wife, actress Sharon Tate, and about 5 or 6 other people who happened to be there (remember, this was the ’60s).
Space Shuttle Challenger ethered by an explosion, 1986. The fact that the Space Shuttle Challenger was ethered live on national television, while children were watching, could very well make it the GEOAT – the greatest ethering of all time. Among its crew members were New Hampshire school teacher Christa McAuliffe and Ronald E. McNair, the first black man to be ethered in space.
Christopher Reeve ethered by a horse, 1995. By the mid ’90s, Superman actor Christopher Reeve was hard up for acting jobs and had taken up competing in cross country horse riding events. During a preliminary run for one such event, Reeve was thrown from his horse and ended up landing square on his head, ethering the shit out of his neck. He was rendered a quadriplegic and died about 10 years later, because the President wouldn’t approve funding for stem cell research.
New Orleans ethered by Hurricane Katrina, 2005. As far as natural disasters go, Hurricane Katrina sonned the shit out of New Orleans! Where as your typical hurricane knocks the roof off the houses of a few rich white people in Florida, for which they collect beaucoup insurance compensation, Hurricane Katrina left New Orleans looking like a scene from some third world country. Dead bodies are still floating in the street to this day.